A Fire of Unknown Origin
by lynxzpanther
Summary: Chuck, Adam, and the rest of the gang face the Apocalypse. Canon up till 5.21, then vaguely AU. Just a different turn of events. Warning, slash. Give us a chance?
1. Chapter 1

_AN: I did not write this, strange as that feels to say. Written by my lovely best friend LMedora for the jointfic I talked her into writing with me. =) Tell us what you think! Next chapter is mine. _

_Disclaimer: For the both of us; no, we do not own them, though sometimes we like to pretend we do. We have as much control as Chuck. So, like, none. XP_

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**Chuck**

I opened my eyes slowly blinking away the blur that turned my living room ceiling into mere shapes and colors. I sighed when I realized that I had passed out on the floor again. Last night, the stream of visions had been too much. I wasn't even a part of it and I still wanted to shout my head off and make it all right. But I knew I couldn't. All I could do was sit at my computer and press a bunch of keys for something that nobody will survive long enough to read anyway.

A mess of sandy blond hair suddenly ticked my face and the excited, wide-eyed girl looking down at me grinned. Becky had been living with me ever since the Supernatural convention, having invited herself into my home. I'd tried being in love with her for a few weeks, I honestly did, but it was too awkward for both of us and she was too obsessed with the Winchesters to be satisfied. So she assigned herself as my unofficial caretaker. Dutifully on queue, she held up a steaming hot mug of coffee.

"So?" she said anxiously as I attempted to sit up, despite my pounding head. "Is Sam alright? I know he must have been just _torn_ after killing Brady, even though he really deserved it, but then again, Sam's been kind of dark lately. And what about Crowley? Did you send him away like I asked you to?"

I rolled my eyes as I struggled to stand. Becky seemed to have it in her head that my being the author of the books meant I actually got to decide what happens in them. Honestly, what kind of a writer has _that much_ control?

"Nope, I don't think he's going anywhere soon," I groaned, stretching out my sore limbs. Becky grabbed my shoulders to help me stand up faster. She steered me towards my cluttered desk where the only open space was the monitor and keyboard.

"So what was the vision then?" she demanded, seeming confused. "You were shouting in your sleep which was _really_ getting annoying, so I think you should tell me before you start writing it."

I resisted rolling my eyes again. She was really enjoying being the only Supernatural fan in the world getting the story directly from my head. I knew that within ten minutes, the whole community of fans within a thousand mile radius would have the story update memorized.

"Sam's going to say yes to Lucifer," I said, turning on the computer. "Everybody's going with his plan and hoping for the best. Sorry, Becky, I think he's going to die."

"No he's not," she said simply with a light shrug, sipping from her own mug.

"Um…" I frowned at her as she looked away carelessly. "Yes, I think he is."

"Not if you want a drop of vodka the next time your head hurts, he's not," she said threateningly in a way that really gave me the creeps. Fangirls…my worst enemy.

"Becky, I can't just _change the gospel_ because you don't like what's inevitably going to happen," I said, trying, to make her understand. "I'm sorry, but I think he's really going to do it."

"NO…HE'S…_NOT!_" she screeched, making sure to get it right in my ear so that it rang through my hangover. She stood up and stormed out of the room, slamming the door to her bedroom.

I didn't have enough time to allow my headache to ease before the phone suddenly rang, making me jump and wince painfully.

"Hello?" I moaned bitterly upon answering.

"Chuck, it's Bobby," said the gruff voice on the other line. "We need to talk."

"Yeah, I know," I said, rubbing my eyes. "Is it really that late? You weren't supposed to call until the afternoon."

"Listen," he continued, ignoring my question. "Remember that future Dean was sent to?"

"How could I not?" I scoffed. "It's been a constant nightmare for months. Why?"

"Well, it seems to be happenin' around us," he said tiredly. I could tell it had been stressing him out for a while. "Croatoan's been released, Sam's heading out to Detroit in a few days, Castiel's battery has run out…it's happening. You better get down here so we can start up our happy club of demon hunting friends."

"But it's going to be different than what Dean said," I offered with slight hope. "I mean, for one, you're walking again. How is that, by the way?"

"I've got my freakin' legs back, you idjit, how do you think it is?" he shouted, not in an unkind way.

"It's just…" I shifted awkwardly, glad Bobby couldn't see my expression. "I know you've been feeling strange since it was _Crowley_ who gave them back."

There was silence for a few moments and I knew Bobby was turning red. I'd seen it in my vision. "Just haul your ass down here, Chuck. Don't make me reinforce the Beckster."

"It's not like I can leave her behind, so it wouldn't matter," I shrugged. "You don't think anyone will be too upset by her being there?" But Bobby had already hung up. I set the phone down on my desk and leaned back in the chair, willing for my headache to disappear.

"Becky," I called out. She marched into the room, arms folded, glare in place. "You want to say your final goodbyes to Sam in person, or what?"

Her face instantly lit up like an archangel's glow and her jaw dropped in her most piercing fangirl scream yet. She ran over and tackled me in a hug that sent the chair flying backwards.

An hour later, we boarded the first flight we could catch to South Dakota. Like every public outing, Becky spent her time pointing out everybody in the terminal who looked suspicious, asking me if they were demons of some sort, waiting to abduct us. But we safely made it onto the plane and began take off. It was then that my headache returned.

"Is it another vision?" Becky asked in a dramatic whisper that everybody nearby could have heard. I meant to speak with her about subtlety…

"I think so," I gasped, grabbing fistfuls of my hair in an attempt to distract myself from the pain. Colors and lights flashed before my eyes—images trying to break through.

"STEWARDESS!" she shouted, waving her arms in the air.

Then the airplane disappeared and I was at a crossroads in the middle of a forest. Everything there was peaceful, quiet. A thick layer of fog covered a foot of ground as far as I could see. But everything had an unnatural glow to it which I recognized as the residue of angelic light. Something had just happened…something I was meant to see. I looked all around, taking in every detail as Becky had been instructing me to do. Any detail I missed was exactly what she pestered me about until I remembered. Then I saw the object of my vision.

At the very center of the crossroads was a naked, motionless body. I was surprised to see that I recognized him. There were the dark shadows of the eyes, the sharply pointed features, and the short blond hair. Everything about him prudently read Winchester, but it was neither Dean nor Sam.

"Adam?" I whispered in disbelief.

But then the vision shivered and I was ripped back to the airplane where everything was noisy and painful and my headache ruled all. I blinked my eyes at the too bright lights, wincing as Becky's frustrated shouts rang through my ears. I stood up and stumbled out of my seat.

"Where are you going?" Becky demanded, grabbing onto my wrist.

"Go…" I gasped. "Not this plane…yet. We go…this way."

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_Reviews are love! =)_


	2. Chapter 2

_AN: Thanks to Alex (my only reviewer). =) You're a gem. Oh, and she came up with the awesomest couple name for Adam and Chuck (yupp, it's a slash story)- Chadam. What'cha think? Anyways, on w/ the fic now! _

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Adam**

I woke up, and that fact alone was the largest surprise of my short life. If this was a dream, well, that was fine, but I wanted to pretend that I was alive for just a bit longer, so I kept my eyes firmly closed.

As far as dreams went, this wasn't the best. I was cold, sore, and _very_unsure of where the hell I was. The last thing that I remembered was being trapped in the angels' storage room. Dean couldn't get me out, but he'd tried- what were brothers for, after all?- so I'd turned to face the glowing light. Michael. I could have said yes. Honestly, I had wanted to say yes. But just before the words left my mouth I realized that just a few minutes before I'd been praying for Dean _not_to. It seemed vaguely hypocritical and like a complete betrayal of the only family I had left to say yes now.

I said no. Even as I did, I could feel myself being incinerated. Each and every cell of my body was burning, exploding, turning to dust... there was nothing in the world more painful than that.

On instinct I could tell that it was time to open my eyes. The first thing I saw above me was the blue sky and beautiful, green leafy trees. There were puffy white clouds, not enough for rain, just there to make the day seem nicer, I supposed. A small breeze rustled through the leaves making pretty, if slightly eerie, music. As the breeze reached me, blowing away the lingering fog from the ground- where was I?- I realized the first problem. I was naked.

Judging by the fact that I was alive I guessed that the angels had brought me back. Or a demon. Either way, I was here. _You would think,_I fumed, _that if they went to all that effort to recreate my body and toss my soul back down (up?) here, they could have left me with some clothes._Common courtesy.

But no. With a sigh I looked around the crossroads, but there weren't even signposts with street names or- even better- town names and arrows. I was really, truly, in the middle of nowhere. I didn't know where to go so I started on the road to my left. Every road had to lead somewhere.

With no end in sight and only this twisting dirt road ahead of me, I was left with far too much time to think.

The first question, really, was why was I here? Here, and not wherever it was that the stupid souls who defied the angels' plans went. Stupid souls like my brothers. Honestly, even the thought of them made me feel just a bit better. Yeah, the stupid sons of bitches had condemned me to hell, but it wasn't intentional. They'd come to rescue me, before. That act alone spoke volumes. Yes, they'd failed, but it was the thought that counted.

Family loyalty. Yes, they _were_my family. Mom, Sam, and Dean.

_My mom._Had the angels kept their promise? Had I seen her and forgotten? I hoped not. Even Hell was better than that.

I needed a plan. I needed to get clothes and track down my brothers. While the angels may or may not have given me back my life, may or may not have truly good intentions this time, I trusted my brothers more. I owed them that.

Just about that time a truck came driving down the road towards me. The driver saw me and slowed, a pricelessly confused expression on his face. A naked man out in the wilderness? Yeah, I'd be surprised too. I barely had a moment to feel embarrassed, though, before the truck was rolling to a stop beside him. "You ah... you needing some help, buddy?"

I smiled what I hoped was a charming smile- it had gotten me off the hook for missing homework back in school, at least. "Yeah, just a bit." How much of the truth did was necessary? "See, the last thing I remember was being in a lot of pain, a long ways away from here I think, and then I'm waking up a few miles down the road there," I told him honestly, pointing back the way I'd come. "And, ah... in this condition, and all." I was referring to my state of undress, and the man nodded.

"Well, I should have some spare clothes in the back. They'll be a bit large on you, kid, but they'll be better than your birthday suit. Where you headed?"

I scratched my head. "Um... that depends. Where am I?"

The stranger shook his head. "Wow, boy, someone sure did a number on you. You're in Alberta, Canada, about two hours from Banff- that's the nearest big city," he added at my clueless look. "You needing a ride?"

I smiled. "That would be great."

The guy nodded, getting out of his truck and opening up the back doors where his bags were. "I'm heading back from a trip up north," he explained, "a family gig and all. Should have some spare stuff." After shifting things around and looking through his bags he tossed me and extra pair of boxers, a worn tee, and some jeans. Then he pulled out a pair of old sneakers and handed them over as well. "There ya are, kid. Best I can do for now."

"Thank you," I told him, really meaning it. They weren't my best Sunday clothes, but they were welcome. "I can't thank you enough for your kindness."

The guy shrugged. "Common decency." He nodded towards the passenger side of the car. "We'd better get a move on, though, if we want to get there before dark. Spring light only lasts so long."

I nodded and hurried to the other side of the car, not wanting to delay him further. He pulled back onto the road as I slipped on my seatbelt and began fumbling with the shoes and laces. "Those fit okay?"

I nodded. "Yeah, just about the right size. Thanks."

He just nodded again. "I never caught your name. Mine's Steve."

"Nice to meet you," I stalled as I tried to decide whether or not to lie. No real danger in giving away my name right now, though, so I said, "Mine's Adam."

The man nodded. "Where's the last place you remember being?"

"Uh, South Dakota." Honestly, I had no clue where that angel room had been. "I was staying with an uncle there."

The man nodded. "Well, you aren't too far off course, then, all things considered. Just a few hundred miles."

I nodded, pretending that this was a _good_thing. A few hundred miles- and a different country- was a long way from my family, though, so whoever had given me life back obviously wasn't eager for me to end up there again. Too freaking bad.

The radio was on a classic rock station, so I just relaxed and listened to the music. The guy- Steve- seemed content with the silence, so I gave my mind a break and just didn't think. A couple hours later, true to Steve's word, we were rolling into a large-ish town. "You hungry?" he asked.

At the thought my stomach growled rather loudly and he laughed. "Here," he said, pulling Canadian money out of his wallet. "Can't have you starving. Go find food, a phone, and someone to pick you up. There's enough there for you to find a place to spend the night. If you're stuck for longer, here's my number..." he scribbled it on a piece of paper and tore it off, putting it with the bills. "Be careful, Adam," he said, pulling into a parking spot.

"Thanks," I said. I wanted to refuse the money- after all, he'd been more than kind enough already- but I really needed it. I swallowed my pride and tucked the bills and the paper with his number into my pocket. "I'll pay you back someday."

He laughed. "Don't bother. I'm just glad to help." I got out of the car, shut the door, and waved as the man drove off smiling.

My stomach took over thoughts of my plan and I started wandering, trying to find food. The first place I came to was a MacDonalds- good God, they had those here, too?- and I rushed inside, buying the biggest burger meal I could find on the menu. Once I'd eaten my food, feeling somewhat better, I approached the girl at the register. I flashed a charming smile, but she just waited impassively. "Uh, do you have a phone I could use?"

"No."

"Please? I just need to make a quick call."

"Nope." She was chewing gum and chose that moment to blow and bubble and pop it with a loud smack. "Sorry," she added insincerely.

"Right," I said slowly. "Do you know where I can find a payphone?"

"Nope."

"Okay. Thanks for your help."

"Yup."

Honestly, she was probably the most annoying girl I'd ever encountered. I wandered, looking for any place that would likely have a payphone, or let me use their own phone. I found a Holiday Inn and decided that it was the best I was likely to get. I went up to the front desk where a very bored looking man stood. "Can I help you, sir?" He seemed utterly relieved for any distraction. I felt bad for the guy.

"Yeah, I was wondering if there was a pay phone here, or any other phone I could use?"

"Over there." He pointed at an alcove with a pay phone in it. Finally!

"Thanks," I said. The guy looked sad at the loss of his distraction, but he nodded anyway.

I wandered over and put the money into the slot, dialing the number that I'd only ever heard once. I prayed that I had it right. Sam had insisted that he recite Bobby's number to me, and I'd recited it back dutifully to get him to shut up and leave me the hell alone. I kinda regretted the attitude, now. At the time he had seemed grating, but now I knew that he had only been looking out for me.

The phone rang and rang until I was worried that it wouldn't get answered. Suddenly I heard a gruff, impatient, "Hello?"

"Bobby!"

"Who is this?" he demanded, and the rough and angry voice was probably the best sound I'd ever heard in my life.

"Adam Winchester."

There was a brief pause on the other end; I'd sure gotten his attention. I held my breath as I waited for his response. At this point, he could tell me to fuck off and I wouldn't be truly surprised. After all, I'd disappeared on his watch. "If this is some kinda sick joke, you've got a whole lot of hurt coming your way," he finally said.

"It's not a joke, Bobby. I don't know how, but I'm alive. I'm in Canada."

"_Canada?"_

The heavy note of disbelief made me sigh. "Yeah. I'm in Banff, Alberta, Canada. I'm at this little Holiday Inn on..." I reached out and took a brochure about the hotel, checking the cross streets before reciting them off dutifully. "Can you send someone to get me? Please?" I sounded vaguely pathetic, but I really needed the help.

Bobby sighed. "Yeah. I'll send the boys over on the first flight available. Sit tight, okay? Get a room if you need to, under the name Peter Wood. Okay, boy?"

"Yeah. See you, Bobby. Thanks."

There was a brief silence. "Just get your ass back home, ya idjit." I had the faint impression that he was biting back tears, but that didn't seem like the gruff old man I'd met. Then again, I didn't know him all that well. The line went dead and I hung up, heading backup to the front desk. The man perked up once more. It was truly sad how hopeful he was for a distraction.

"I'd like a room," I told him.

He nodded, turning on his computer. "For how long?"

"Just one night."

He typed away for a couple minutes and I tapped my fingers on the counter, bored. "What name is that under, sir?"

"Peter Wood." The name felt strange on my tongue and I hoped he didn't notice the unfamiliar way I said it. He didn't seem to.

"That will be $50."

I handed over the money and took my room key, starting off before I remembered something. "Oh, some friends might show up in a few hours- it's fine to tell them where I'm at, okay?"

"That isn't generally our policy, but I suppose I can make an exception," the man allowed. I smiled and thanked him once more before taking the elevator up to the second floor. The room was simple with two double beds, a desk, a TV, and a fridge. I opened it and took out a coke, drinking it down quickly before collapsing on the bed. I hadn't mean to fall asleep, but before I knew it I was waking up to a few loud knocks on my door.

I opened it to see a guy that I hadn't met before. He was standing awkwardly, shifting around on his feet as if he'd rather run away than be here. He had messy brown hair and a very stubbly beard as if he'd forgotten to shave for a couple of days. His eyes looked faintly nervous, so I guessed that he was either paranoid or in on this whole big Apocalypse party we had going on. "Um, hi," he said after a moment. "Bobby sent me."

Though I'd guessed as much, my eyes narrowed. I still suspected a trick. I couldn't see a demon ever being this unsure of itself, but that made it the perfect act, right? "Who the hell are you?"

His eyes widened slightly, a bit worried, and I felt a pang of guilt for scaring him. The poor guy looked like one big scare would give him a heart attack. "I'm, ah, the Prophet," he told me, "Chuck."

"Right," I said after a moment. "You expect me to believe that?"

He shrugged. "You can call him if you want." He held out his cell phone and I took it warily, scrolling through the contacts. That wasn't hard, seeing as there were only five: Becky, Bobby, Castiel, Dean, and Sam. I had no clue who the first girl was, but I knew the rest. The number under Bobby matched up, so I handed back the phone and nodded. "I believe you. I thought he was sending my brothers?"

Chuck nodded. "He was, but you're out of the country and they didn't have a passport for you. I showed up just a few minutes after you called him. They dug through Dean's old passports and sent one of the younger ones with me. You guys look enough alike that it should work okay." He had been babbling, but he shut up as if he'd just realized it.

"Great," I told him. "When's the flight, then?"

"Uh, Bobby booked it for tomorrow morning." I glanced over at the clock to see that it read around two a.m. "Well, this morning," he amended quickly. "At nine?"

"Okay," I agreed. "Mind if I go back to sleep?" I stepped back from the doorway to let him in before shutting it. He shook his head in answer to my question and then stood hesitantly, blatantly unsure. I sprawled back on the bed I'd been on before and glanced over at him. "Make yourself at home. Just make sure that if you go to sleep too you have an alarm set, okay? Room 217."

He bit his lip and nodded before crossing over to the chair. I rolled my eyes before falling back asleep just as deeply as before.

This time I awoke to a loud, echoing thump. I started upright, looking around in confusion for a moment before I remembered. I was in a hotel in Canada. The digital clock on the side table read 6:45 a.m., which meant that we would need to be leaving soon.

Wait, we- Chuck. Where the heck was he? He definitely wasn't in my immediate sight. I glanced around once more taking in more details. The desk was covered with torn off sheets from a pad of paper the motel had provided. The other bed hadn't been touched, so Chuck hadn't decided to fall asleep. The bathroom door was still wide open, the light off. I scanned the room and before finally realizing that he had been the source of the noise that had woken me. He was lying curled up on the ground, fists knotted in his hair, and he looked like he was having a seizure of sorts. _Great, _I thought briefly, bitterly, _what kind of nutter did you send, Bobby?_ I crossed the room and crouched next to him, though. "Chuck?" I reached out and touched his shoulder, shaking him gently. I didn't want to cause him more pain. "What's up?"

For a few minutes he didn't respond, but I stayed where I was by his side. I had a feeling that, for some sad reason, this was normal. I waited and finally he seemed to relax a bit before sitting up. "You okay?" I asked him as he swallowed shakily. His eyes focused on me.

"Adam." The word sounded strained. He reached out and took hold of my sleeve and I let him. I sensed that he needed something to keep him grounded, but why I didn't know.

"Yes?" I asked patiently, trying not to let my worry into my tone.

"We have to get back," he gasped out, sounding like he was still in a lot of pain. "They're in trouble."

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_AN: Good luck, LMedora! I know that this chapter was kinda basic- I'm trying to warm up to the character and explain his position. I mean, really, did she have to leave him naked? That only made it that much more awkward._

_I'm not used to first person; any suggestions how to write it better? I can't tell you how many times I accidentally lapsed into third person while writing this!_

_Reviews are love! _


	3. Chapter 3

**Chuck**

My fingers were sore by the second hour of our flight back to South Dakota. Another one of the many reasons I'd rather _not_ be the prophet of the century. Supernatural ability to type faster than I can think. Lame, I know. The least the angels could have done was send mittens or something so my fingers wouldn't bleed every time I got a new vision.

"What the hell are you doing?" I looked up at Adam. He was staring at me curiously, probably trying to decide whether or not I was something to be hunted. He'd been extremely cautious of me ever since I dragged him out of bed at the most unholy hours of the morning.

"Um…writing," I said distractedly, looking back down at my laptop screen. I was so close to being finished with the latest vision, I could taste the relief.

"Why?" he pressed.

"Part of the job," I said slowly while at the same time trying to decide the best way to phrase exactly what I'd seen only mere hours ago. "I get like, divine highs from above and I have to write them down into the Winchester Gospel."

"Why?" he asked, reading over my shoulder. I had to resist the urge not to point out how he was just like a little kid. "I mean, I thought you were having a seizure before. If it hurts that badly, why go along with it?"

I looked up at him with a frown. It was strange…in all my visions I'd never seen him look confused and relaxed at the same time. He'd always been either angry, stressed, or asleep. This was a nice change. "I tried rebelling once. But then all the visions started backing up without the outlet and my publisher started getting antsy and all my fans got ravenous…" I had to shut my eyes as the memories of that terrible day came flooding back. I had immediately rescinded that announcement. "When I honestly began to think my head would implode, I gave in." I slammed the lid of my laptop shut, barely resisting the urge to apologize right after. I rubbed my eyes wearily and sighed heavily.

"Am I disturbing your…flow?" Adam asked, awkwardly shifting in his small seat.

"No, no, it's…don't worry," I said quickly as he began to get that stressed face again. "I just reached the end of my visions and everything's all…weird. It's a prophet thing, I guess."

The airplane shook with sudden turbulence that made the lights flicker and a few people cried out from the shock. I looked over and saw Adam gripping the edges of his seat tightly with his face constricted fearfully. As soon as it had passed, he relaxed and sat up, looking around as if he suspected someone had seen his moment of weakness. I smiled to myself.

"What?" he demanded haughtily. He sat up and straightened his jacket.

"You're like Dean," I shrugged. "And John. They're both terrified of flying. Must be a family thing."

"Yeah, next you're gonna tell me they sing Metallica on family road trips," he said bitterly, glaring out the window. I resisted smiling at the coincidence. I'd only been a teenager when I had visions of Adam in the passenger seat, singing along with his mother as they drove. "So what's the point?" he said, cutting into my thoughts. He looked back at me, his easy mask back on. "The world's ending, so who's gonna read it anyway? Why bother with all that publishing crap?"

"Call me hopeful," I chuckled, "but maybe I can save a few decent lives with the books. If people read, they have all the knowledge they'll need in order to survive the apocalypse, ya know?" It felt strange saying it out loud. I'd been thinking it ever since I first met Sam and Dean. It's all real, so there is hope.

"Makes sense, I guess," Adam nodded, looking away distantly. Then he looked back at me with a new question on his face. "Do you know what happened to me the other day? I mean, with the bright lights and Zachariah and everything, then waking up in the forest. Did you catch why?"

I frowned at him. How could he possibly not remember? He'd been a constant vision for the longest time…"Yesterday? Adam, what happened in the greenroom, that was weeks ago."

His curious expression disappeared into…nothing. His jaw dropped slightly as he continued to stare at me. "But…why would they send me into the future? All I did was say no, right? I mean, I wasn't thinking about porn or anything, so why would they do this?"

"You said yes, Adam," I said, staring him in the eye which was nearly impossible while feeling so jittery. "Michael's been walking around with your face for the longest time. Are you telling me you weren't awake for _any_ of that?"

"No, I didn't say it!" he shouted at me, his knuckles turning white as he gripped the edge of his seat again. "I took it back!...Didn't I?" He looked like he wanted to scream or kill something, or like he had been betrayed somehow. I felt so useless, only being able to shrug. He turned away from me, face in his hands. I turned back to my computer, wishing I could be writing again. I would tell my character self to keep his damn mouth shut.

He continued looking away as though he was a puppy with a lost chew toy as the plane began to descend. The "fasten your seatbelts" sign flashed on and everybody returned to their seats. The plane hit the ground with a powerful jolt and we rolled into South Dakota where the grey skies made everything seem kind of gloomy. Knowing what I knew, it fit.

All the stewardesses stood up and walked over to the door which would open before allowing everybody to stand up. I remembered from the last flight. As they stood, waiting expectantly for five minutes, they began to frown and whisper back and forth.

"What's going on?" Adam murmured to himself, half rising out of his seat.

I looked out the window in time to see the mini army of rabid looking people stampeding towards the plane before I heard the banging on the door. It suddenly burst open and a woman came flying through, jaws aimed at the first stewardess she could reach. All the passengers began screaming and creating chaos as more and more people shoved their way into the plane. Adam suddenly grabbed my shoulders and forced me to face him. I saw the fear in those dark eyes, the millions of questions on his face that I knew he wouldn't be able to ask. All I could manage to whisper was "Croatoan."

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_AN: Another lovely by LMedora. =) I will try to get mine written soon! Reviews are love. _


	4. Chapter 4

**Adam**

I wasn't sure what this croatoan was, but by the look of those… rabid human things attacking us, I knew it sure wasn't good. My mind started to speed quickly through necessary information- emergency exits (the closest was five rows ahead of us: too far), chances of fighting, number of harmless people- before I quickly turned back to Chuck.

He was pale as a sheet and looked terrified. "Hey!" I said quickly to grab his attention. He focused on me and I asked, "Any weapons? We have to fight them."

"Uh, um…" he voiced nervously, hands going to his pockets. What he pulled out surprised even me.

A loaded .22 handgun. Really? "How the _hell _did you get that through security?"

He shrugged. "Angels?"

I took the gun from him and he looked relieved. "You don't even know how to use it?" I asked incredulously. All that risk and he couldn't even use the thing? How… lame.

"Point and shoot?"

I shook my head and re-focused on the enemy, clicking back the safety on the gun, hoping it was loaded. One shot in, one enemy down, I knew it was. I took careful aim, managing to still fire a round off every two seconds or so, and took down enough of the rabid people thingies to clear some space in the isle way. "Come on!" I shouted over the screaming civilians, grabbing hold of Chuck's wrist and dragging him into the fray. I used the empty gun as a blunt weapon, hitting people and evil things alike, fighting my way through.

"What are you doing?" Chuck yelled over the noise. Then, more quietly, I heard him whimper, "We're going to die…!"

_Melodramatic much? _I glanced around the fighting, screaming mayhem and let out a small sigh. Well, maybe he wasn't overly frightened; I was just overly calm. Sure, I wanted to live as much as the next guy, but I had already died twice. Well, sort of- I hadn't really died the second time, but I had thought that I had. The thought of my failure made me sick inside; I had to find my brothers and apologize. If not, this guilt might just kill me.

The whole time I battled my inner turmoil I was still dragging us forward. We finally reached the emergency exit hatch, forgotten in the chaos and carnage, and I flung Chuck towards it. He stared back at me vacantly as I kept the things- I had ceased to see them as _people- _away from us. "Open the door," I ordered tersely. He watched me, uncomprehending. _In shock, _my medical student mind diagnosed. I shut it up before it could read off the symptoms. Instead I reached out and slapped him, hard. He stumbled back and re-focused, pulling a hurt puppy bitch face that I so did _not _have time for. "Open the door!" I reiterated and he nodded, finally understanding. I was back to defending us, but I kept half an eye on him as he hurried through the instructions that no one ever paid any attention to.

The door opened and an icy wind blew in at us. "Jump!" I ordered.

He stared at the ground, looking a bit green. "I'm afraid of heights," he said, looking at me with wide, pleading eyes.

I told myself that the butterflies that erupted in my stomach were due to nerves (not those wide, adorable eyes…), and therefore something I did not have time for. Before I could talk myself out of this I reached out and pushed him out the doorway. I just had to _hope _he didn't land on his neck.

I jumped out after him, stumbling to my knees because of the height of the drop. I pushed back up onto my feet, relieved that apparently neither of my ankles were broken. My medical mind once again began droning on about my center of balance and how that had equally distributed the impact between all parts of both feet, lessening force of the impact on any given part that I'd landed on. I glanced around, but for the moment we were alone. I could still hear the screams from behind us in the plane.

Chuck was stumbling to his feet as well, muttering about unnecessary violence. I rolled my eyes. "You could have broken my arm!" he complained in a whiney tone. "I need that to write." I realized then that he still had his computer clutched protectively to his side.

I stared at him incredulously as he continued to sulk. "Really?"

He shuffled uncomfortably. "It has The Gospel on it. I didn't want to lose all of the unprinted chapters. That would be, like, heroin withdrawal level headaches." I winced- medical mind once more needed to _shut the freak up. _

Which reminded me. I glanced around to see people running toward us. Their eyes were bloodshot and vacant, frightening me back into that scarily calm, adrenaline filled place. "Come on." I took off toward a street that looked like it was about a quarter of a mile away. I had been a track runner back in school, so this was nothing new to me, even if it had technically been a few years since I'd been running like this. Chuck, however, was _not_ trained in the arts of the whole running-for-your-life drill. He stumbled after just a few steps and I took hold of his arm. I didn't want to accidentally leave him behind and if he fell, he could die.

We reached the street and I quickly ran over a parked car before my logical side caught up with me. I spun on Chuck. "Do you know how to hot-wire a car?" I asked, not really expecting a positive answer.

He nodded, though, impressing me. It must've showed, because he explained, "I've written about it so many times, it would be entirely lame if I didn't."

I nodded and, about two minutes and one broken window later, we were speeding down the road. We pulled into Bobby's about twenty minutes later- Chuck had managed to run over about fifty of the messed up people along the way- and saw the house being absolutely swarmed. Bobby was firing out the windows and I thought I saw people moving around in the background. Now I was the more hesitant one, but Chuck jumped out of the car and I follow suit. I ran after him into the house, knocking aside anything that attacked me. I didn't see Bobby or any of the others.

"Bobby!" Chuck called out, and was answered with a fast, "In the panic room!" There was a definite "_hurry" _implied there. Chuck shot off like a bat out of hell and I followed desperately- I'd really only seen the front few rooms of Bobby's house and, to be honest, even just those few weeks (or few hours, as far as my memory went) between then and now felt like a lifetime ago.

We ran down a flight of stairs and into a basement where a large, thick, intimidating metal door was open. Chuck ran inside the adjacent room without a second thought, but I hesitated. Chuck turned and nodded at me, so I followed warily. The door slammed shut with a loud clang behind me, causing my heart to lodge somewhere down in my stomach.

I looked around the room with interest, though- this was definitely a hunter's dream lair. There was only a dim light from above and a lamp on a desk that looked long broken. There was a cot in the corner and a few blankets and pillows scattered about the floor. I recognized Bobby and Castiel, the angel, but there was also an unfamiliar, young looking girl that was eyeing me up _way _too much and an indifferent looking, dark haired man.

More importantly, however, I noticed who was _missing. _"Where are my brothers?"

I heard a collective breath being drawn in and suddenly the vibe was about ten degrees chillier. "Ya didn't tell him?" Bobby asked Chuck, sounding angry.

"I didn't…" he stuttered out, trailing off miserably.

"What didn't you tell me?" I demanded, feeling vaguely betrayed and a bit disappointed. I'd come to trust him, after all. I'd just saved his life, _twice. _

"I didn't think it was my place…" he explained awkwardly, meeting my look sadly.

"What that translates to," the unfamiliar man drawled with a British accent, "is that he's a coward."

"Who are you?" I asked, wanting to avoid the subject of what was wrong with my brothers just as much as I wanted to know what they were all hiding from me.

"That's Crowley," Castiel said as he shot the man an annoyed look. "Don't listen to a word he says."

"I'm on your side," the man defended lazily- I could tell that this was a well worn out conversation. Somehow, though, the fact that his alliance even had to be argued in the first place wasn't exactly comforting.

"Why shouldn't I listen to him?"

"He's a demon," Castiel informed me solemnly.

Bobby had stiffened at the slight to the demon and I realized, looking at him once more, what was different. "You can stand! You were in a wheelchair when we met."

He nodded. "Crowley," he explained.

"…what did you have to do to get your legs back?" I asked suspiciously.

"Sell his soul," the girl piped up when it didn't look like Bobby wanted to respond. He shot her an irritated glance, gritting his teeth, and she clamped her mouth shut. That didn't stop her from sulking. I wasn't sure why, but really just the sight of her seemed tiring, so I didn't bother to ask who she was.

"Sell your…!" I couldn't even fully comprehend the enormous repercussions that this action could have.

"I'm going to give it back," Crowley drawled again carelessly. Once again, another well worn out argument. No one even bothered to argue with him. The room fell silent once more, tension buzzing.

"Where are my brothers?" I asked again after a few moments.

Bobby fixed his glare on Chuck, who looked to Castiel, who only shrugged. I could sense that he wasn't quite as casual with this matter as he appeared- he looked thoroughly pissed just under the surface. Chuck sighed and spoke up first: "Dean said yes to Michael, Adam."

My jaw dropped and my mind just _froze. _"What?"

"Why else would you have been freed?" he asked sadly. I knew it to be a rhetorical question. "He's very… protective of his family. He couldn't stand the thought of you suffering in his place." Chuck shrugged. "It's just the way he is."

"But I wasn't… suffering," I said slowly.

"You were," Chuck assured me with a wince.

"How would you know?" I demanded angrily and he stepped back, raising his hands in a gesture of surrender.

"Visions, Adam. You've been almost constantly the center of them since that day in the greenroom. You may not remember- which is definitely best- but I can assure you, it has not been very fun for you."

I let out a breath that I hadn't realized I'd been holding. "And… Sam?"

This time Bobby spoke up. "He… said yes also." He brushed a hand over his eyes, but surely those weren't _tears…? _"That was his original plan, anyways. Lure Lucifer into a trap. We're still… hoping." He didn't sound so sure of that, though. Were my brothers dying in vain, then? "He ah… He was sorry that he didn't wait around to say goodbye to you. He just wanted to make sure you didn't talk him out of it."

My mind was reeling with the images Zachariah had been kind enough to explain to me: my brothers fighting to the death.

It was all _my _fault Dean had said yes. All my fault. Now they were gone, my only remaining family, and I couldn't even apologize. Why did I cause the deaths of _everyone _I loved?

I heard a sob tear through the silence and realized that it had come from me. Embarrassed at my outburst but unable to actually stop the tears and the sobs, I stumbled back until I ran into the door. I slid to the floor, curling up into a ball and trying not to think. It wasn't really working: my brain just kept repeating "all my fault" over and over again, doing nothing to stop my tears. I vaguely heard them talking in the background before someone came and quietly sat down beside me, close enough that our shoulders were just barely touching.

"I'm sorry, Adam," I heard Chuck whisper, almost quieter than my sobs. I nodded, unsure if he could tell, but I was thankful that he was there, at least. Because for once in my life, I didn't feel like I was entirely alone.

* * *

_AN/ Sorry, I just think that he deserves a good cry. Adam's had it hard. As always, tell me what you think? Reviews are love. _


	5. Chapter 5

**Chuck**

I blame my mother for giving me the middle name of Lame. I'm a fail of a prophet, even worse at fighting, let alone being epic, and a hopeless klutz at sentimentality. When it came to other people and…_emotions_, I was at a complete loss. But when I saw Adam literally snap in front of my eyes, I couldn't help feeling sorry for him, and a little guilty that there might've been hope of me stopping it. I watched him slide to the ground in slow motion, every little shudder seeming magnified, screaming at me _all your fault._

I don't know why, but I had the feeling that I could somehow redeem myself. Even in the tiniest way, it would be worth it. So I walked over, sat down beside him, and told him that I was sorry. It didn't do much to stop him from crying, but it earned a half smile that lived for a fraction of a second before disappearing.

"How very touching," Crowley cut in, breaking the silence with that annoying tone of his. He stuffed his hands in his jacket pockets in his proper manner before he began pacing the room. "If you two are done with your heart to heart, can we please get back to the issue at hand?"

"Sorry, Adam, really," Bobby said apologetically. "But the demon's got a point. We're surrounded by Croats and the supplies we got ain't gonna lost us much more than a few days. We've got to build us a pretty strong defense system and _fast_."

There was a light squeal from the corner as Becky raised her hand, biting her lip anxiously, bouncing up and down where she sat on the cot. I honestly didn't have the strength to roll my eyes at her, or even put up with her while the apocalypse was raging just outside. Maybe she could be a diversion while the rest of us escaped…

"Archangel!" she squawked excitedly.

"You threatening me, little girl?" Crowley hissed, looking offended.

"No, not you," she said, frowning at him. "Chucky's got an archangel on his shoulder! All we've got to do is shove him outside and all the scary people will go away!"

Everybody looked at her, either glaring or seeming to wonder if she'd gone completely mental. Adam scoffed, wiping the tears from his eyes.

"If the angels gave a damn about _Chucky_, why didn't they save him when we were attacked on the plane?" he laughed maniacally. For a moment I wondered if he was the one who'd gone a little crazy. "Or maybe while we were running down those people just trying to escape? Why aren't they trying to save their prophet now?"

"Because he's got you, moron," Crowley sighed impatiently. Adam made as though to leap at him with his fighting face on, but I forcefully held his shoulder down. He glanced at me bitterly but didn't argue. "The few Croatoans you came across were nothing worth getting their knickers in a bunch over, and with a Winchester at his side, he was safe as hellfire."

"But…he came to the red motel," I said, thoroughly confused. "And for Castiel. Why not for a bunch of rabid zombies?"

"Lilith used to be one nasty bitch," Crowley spat, showing the first sign of real anger. "And Castiel was a wanted fugitive. Different circumstances. This one didn't seem to worry your feathered friend so much, so he let you be."

"Wait a minute," Bobby cut in, removing his hat. His eyes met those of everybody in the room as though searching for some sign that he was dreaming. "Are you meaning to tell me that _Becky's_ in the right?"

"YES!" she screeched, leaping up and down, punching the air with her fists.

"I believe so," Castiel said, placing a hand on Bobby's shoulder with an apologetic expression. "If we send Chuck outside alone, the archangel will have no choice but to save him. The Winchester Gospel is too important to heaven to place in such jeopardy."

"Um, can I throw in my thoughts on this plan?" I asked weakly, raising my hand slightly.

"No," everybody said at once. I retracted my hand and looked down at the ground. Adam nudged my shoulder and shrugged lightly. I looked up as everybody continued debating whether or not to place my life on the line. I sighed, realizing that to them, "prophet" was just a bargaining chip. Not that I minded much. I was a very expensive chip at that, and they'd want to keep me in their pocket.

Nonetheless, I found myself only minutes later being shoved out of the panic room and led to the back porch. The Croatoans must have gotten bored of the house after a while of finding nothing to do in the house, because they'd abandoned it. Unfortunately, they'd found many wonders and treasures in the junkyard out back. I looked around at all the crazy faced people, parading among the scrap metal as though they were off their meds. I cleared my throat loudly, failing to gain their attention. I found it surprising that they couldn't hear my heartbeat slamming against my ribcage like a dinner bell.

"Um, hi…scary…drooling people," I said shakily. One or two of them looked up at me and grinned hungrily. "I…I'm uh…come and get it? Oh, please don't…"

More and more of the Croats looked my way and began running towards me, arms outstretched down to their itching fingertips. It took all my strength not to run away, just hold still with my eyes shut tightly. I could literally smell the bile on their breath by the time my eyelids lit up with pure white light, flooding all my surroundings. Everything was peaceful, painless, and happy. I only felt so balanced during my visions when my body wasn't around to scream at me. It was like Adam's hunter mode that I had experienced through the visions. Like being numb. Then it was gone.

I opened my eyes and looked around the junkyard. The ground was covered in a layer of fog, thick with that familiar angelic residue. All the rabid people had mysteriously disappeared, and in their place, one man was walking towards me. Dean smiled kindly, his eyes a little too wide and his stance much too confident.

"Michael," I said softly, unable to find any other voice. "_You're_ my archangel?"

"Only on this one occasion, Charles," he said in a voice that Dean would never use unless he was making fun of somebody so powerful. "This is the last time I will be able to make contact with you until you have reached paradise. I am sorry our meeting has been delayed for so long."

"It's…it's all good, I mean, you're pretty busy…apocalypse and all," I said, rambling like an idiot. But Dean—no, Michael, continued to smile as though I hadn't said a thing.

"I'm afraid you will no longer be assisted by my brothers," he said, barely tilting his head. "As you said, we have our hands full. Have no worries though, prophet. I have personally ensured that you are in a safe environment. Any human infected with the demonic plague will steer clear of a two mile radius from this residence. Besides that, I believe your…allies are more than capable of protecting you. Please understand, we are fighting the apocalypse and we need every warrior available."

"Yeah, yeah, it's cool," I shrugged, just wishing he would go away. It was too strange, seeing him like this.

"I have only one mission for you," he continued, oblivious to my discomfort. "Continue your valiant work with the Gospel of Winchester. Share your knowledge, work diligently. I believe you know the rest. This shall earn you and your companions a…reservation in paradise, per se. I must be leaving now. Take care, prophet."

He looked past me and smiled even more warmly, something closer to the real Dean, and raised his hand in an airy wave. I turned over my shoulder and saw everybody from the panic room standing on the back porch looking dumbfounded. Everybody except for Crowley, of course. At the front of the small crowd was Adam, gaping in horror. I turned back towards Michael only to find that he had disappeared. Sighing heavily, I turned and walked back towards the house.

"What did he say?" Adam demanded as soon as I reached the first step. "Is Dean alright in there? Is he even alive?"

"Excuse me," Castiel muttered, wedging himself out of the crowd and towards the door. I could see that he was going to be sick by the greenish color in his face and the unfamiliar tears streaming down his face. He quickly disappeared into the house before I heard the retching noises. Sadly, I wished I could join him. But my too-well adjusted gag reflexes held firm.

After explaining to everyone what had happened, they were all too eager to follow Bobby's plan to take the rest of the day off and recuperate. Nobody said more than a few muttered questions and single syllable answers, and not a thing was said to me. I tried to convince myself that it was just because I was useless to their questions and not because they blamed me for not convincing Michael to let Dean go. It would have been worthless and impossible, but maybe they'd at least acknowledge my existence if I had tried. And there's that neighborly guilt again…

That night, I sat by the window of the room Bobby had given to me, just staring outside, sipping my whiskey. I'd had only one vision since seeing Michael. It hadn't been much, but writing in the gospel made time go faster. But the images I'd seen were burned into my eyelids, chasing away any hope of sleep. So I sat there at the window, watching the ground below, feeling worse than ever.

Castiel had taken the news worst of all. I'm sure the little guy wasn't used to all the emotions that came along with his newfound humanity, so I couldn't really blame him for tearing up Bobby's yard, screaming and crying at heaven in his Anoakian language. But after a few hours, it did tend to wear on the ears. It was kind of heart breaking, seeing the angel so broken and…lonely.

"Can't sleep?"

I yelped and nearly leaped out of my chair from the surprise. My eyes widened at the dark figure standing in the doorway, leaning casually against the frame. I recognized Adam, of course, but I hadn't been expecting the look on his face. I'd seen it so many times growing up; he got it along with a melancholy depression every time John would breeze into town then leave. I remembered how painful the hangover was after drinking enough to make those feelings go away.

"Sorry," he chuckled humorlessly. He walked into my room and pulled up a chair barely a foot away from the one I sat in. He looked out the window and rolled his eyes. "This is just plain sad. You'd think he was in love with the guy or something."

"It'd make sense," I shrugged, feeling my overactive heartbeat calm down a little. "I mean, Cas pretty much gave up everything he had for Dean. He gave up being in the high ranks of heaven, any hope of making peace with his brothers, and being an angel altogether. And after finding out about what was going on with God…Dean was all the hope he had left."

"Yeah, well…" Adam said. It was odd hearing him say that little fragment that never seemed to get finished. Sam and Dean used it so often…and never would again. Adam looked towards me, then down at the bottle in my hands with an arched eyebrow. I held it out to him.

"Don't tell Bobby," I said. "He'll make up a bunch of excuses for why not, one of them being that you're still under age."

"What, you see that in one of your visions?" Adam laughed before taking a swig from the bottle. His eyes scrunched tightly then widened as he gulped audibly.

"No," I shrugged. "I just know Bobby."

He smiled, took another drink, then handed the bottle back to me. I didn't drink anymore though. My headache was already gone and it was too damn depressing to drink myself to sleep _again_. So we both just continued to watch Cas rolling around on the lawn, clutching his sides as his never yielding voice continued to pierce the sky with broken sobs.

"You know, not that it will help or anything, but maybe I could tell him something to make him feel better," I suggested. Adam looked at me with a confused expression. I shifted awkwardly, wondering how best to phrase it. "Dean kinda loved him back, ya know? Not totally romantic or anything. He just…loved him. Like Bobby loved him and Sam. He'd really hate to see Cas like this."

"If it helps, I'd rather he shut up than scream all night, too," he shrugged with a joking smile.

I couldn't help smiling back. It was different, though not unwelcomed, to feel this numbness while not experiencing a vision. With those, I was always expecting the pain that would be coming right after. But for the moment, I was hopeful that the immediate future held only a peaceful sleep. And more hopeful that this would be a recurring thing, my happy place leaking into reality. Though Adam might get annoyed if I started following him like a puppy on a leash. So I merely enjoyed it for the time being, holding a light conversation that phased out here and there, sharing the whiskey with Adam, slipping deeper and deeper into that peaceful set of mind. I vaguely remembered Adam falling asleep, then giving in right after. Everything was too fuzzy and I might've already begun dreaming by then, but the last thought in my mind was that the final surviving Winchester smelled nice and his shoulder made a soft pillow.

* * *

_AN/ Aw! What a cute little moment there at the end. Don't you think she was mean, though, breaking that poor little ex-angel? Not sure how to top this, but I'll try. =) Reviews are love. _


	6. Chapter 6

**Adam**

I woke the next morning to feel a warm weight against my shoulder. I opened his eyes to see Chuck slumped over, head pillowed on me, still fast asleep. I smiled softly- the prophet looked so peaceful asleep, much more so than he had looked the previous day. The whiskey bottle lay empty on the ground in front of them. Looking out the window, the yard seemed empty. There was no more heartbroken screaming from the angel (ex-angel… how sad), although the yard was still a mess. There was really no sound at all aside from Chuck's even breathing. For the moment, everything was calm.

I reached over and plucked a pillow off the nearest bed. I put it up against the window sill and carefully shifted Chuck so that his weight lay against the window, his head on the pillow. I stood quietly and made to leave the room, but before I could make it to the door the annoying girl, Becky, walked in. She took in him, asleep, and me before grinning. "_**Hi,"**_ she said, filling the innocent word with far too many terrible innuendos. I could almost see the pictures her mind was forming and I blushed.

"Nothing like _that," _I told her uncomfortably. "We just stayed up late talking and accidentally fell asleep."

"Uh-_huh," _she agreed sweetly, stressing the second syllable to once again suggest more than she said. She seemed to believe me on the innocence of our encounter- after all, neither of the beds had been used and we were both fully clothed- but she was still heavily hinting at me. The silence that followed was intensely awkward, for me, at least. She just stood there smiling at me somewhat crazily. Just as I was beginning to despair that this painful silence would go on forever, she pointed out randomly, "You need new clothes."

"Uh… yeah, I guess," I agreed after a moment's thought. "But I don't have any other clothes. I kinda woke up… naked," I admitted, blushing again.

Becky giggled unashamedly and gave me a once-over. "You're just _barely _bigger than Chucky- some of his bigger stuff should fit you just fine." She crossed the room purposefully and began to dig through one of the duffels on the desk.

"Are you sure you should be going through his stuff like that?" I wondered out loud. Did I have to add "lack of personal space boundaries" to this girl's many issues?

Apparently not, as she responded, "Yupp!" She continued guilelessly, "I'm his personal assistant slash caretaker."

"Does he pay you?" My interest had inexplicably perked up.

"No, he's pretty poor," she said with a shrug. "He lets me read the new chapters every day. It's all I wanted, anyways." She smiled dazzlingly, almost managing to look cute and normal. I realized that she was somewhere near my age.

I couldn't help it; I smiled back. "Well, thanks, then. I'll just ah…" I gestured towards the door. "Oh. Um. Where's the bathroom?" They may have showed me yesterday, but we'd all been a little busy with our own thoughts.

"Across the hall, third door on the left, just a bit past the main stairs," she directed, still going through his clothes, now moving them into drawers and such. She glanced up and smiled. "Okay?"

"Yeah, thanks," I said, meaning it. Once she chilled just a _bit, _she was tolerable.

I headed out and found the bathroom easily. Twenty minutes later I was twice as awake and headed down towards the kitchen where I distinctly smelled coffee. As a college student, I had _lived _on coffee. Oh, God, how I had missed it…

As I left the bathroom I nearly ran into Chuck, who was just headed down the stairs. He stopped short where he saw me, looking a bit overly surprised. "That's… my shirt?" He phrased it like a question, something in his tone a little off. The look he was giving me made me all jittery.

"Uh, yeah. Sorry, Becky told me you'd be fine if I borrowed some things- just until I have my own and all…"

"N-no, it's fine!" he stuttered out. "It probably fits you better anyways," he told me, shrugging, but still looking a bit spooked. "I need coffee," I heard him mutter under his breath and I grinned. America's favorite drug- gotta love it.

In the kitchen there was coffee on the counter, blueberry muffins on the table, and a distinctly drunken angel collapsed in the corner. Castiel was clinging to a bottle of vodka as if it was his lifeline. Chuck crossed the kitchen and crouched in front of him. "Cas?" He reached out to try to take away the bottle and Castiel glared at him so fiercely that he stumbled back. "Fine, fine, keep it," Chuck told him, disgruntled, and he veered off towards the coffee instead. I sat down at the table and grabbed a muffin.

Bobby walked in just about then with a gruff, "'Morning, idjits," and headed straight for the coffee as well. Chuck settled at the table across from me.

"Who made the muffins?"

"Becky dug them out of the freezer. Didn't even know they were there. We're almost out of food."

"Supply run, then?" Chuck asked.

"Yep." Bobby chugged that coffee down like it wasn't even hot (I could see the steam rising from the cup) and put the cup in the sink.

"Who're you taking?" Chuck asked him.

"Crowley."

Chuck and I both waited a moment. "Anyone _else?" _

"No one else trained enough."

"You could take me," I suggested, but he was shaking his head before I even finished speaking.

"Too young, not trained," he listed off briskly. "Sorry, kid."

"He's trained enough," Chuck argued in my defense. I smiled. "He fought off hundreds of Croats yesterday, keeping me safe at the same time, _and _he's got John's blood. I've seen it, both in visions and in person, Bobby- he can fight."

Bobby glared. "I'm not taking him."

"You just got your legs back," I pointed out, "You can't be completely up to your old level yet. Plus, I don't know demons and I won't pretend to, but if he really enough to keep you safe?"

"No," Crowley spoke up from the doorway. "Nor will I. I look out for number one, and that isn't you," he told Bobby.

"I won't take a kid," Bobby growled out again, angry with all of us.

"I'm an adult." I argued.

"He's a _Winchester!" _Chuck disputed.

"Who else will you take?" Crowley asked him calmly. We all shut up and listened to what he had to say. Out of all of us, that guy had raw _presence. _You could almost feel his power and superiority. "You have a wimpling prophet, a drunken ex-angel, an easily distracted girl with the attention span of a butterfly, and a Winchester to whom hunting comes naturally."

Bobby's glare turned sulky. "Fine, kid, but watch yer own ass. I won't be responsible for it." We all saw through that. He would. I was one of the boys, even if he barely knew me. I'd be safe with him.

Bobby then turned to Chuck. "You stay and watch Cas, okay? He drank through my entire liquor cabinet," at this Chuck looked horrified, though I guessed that it had less to do with the ex-angel's safety and more to do with the fact that the house was now dry, "and he's not used to drinking. He'll be worshiping the porcelain God quite a bit today. Just… make sure he doesn't, ya know, drown in his own sick?" We all winced at that disturbing image, even Crowley.

"Sure," Chuck agreed, "but will you take Becky with you? Keeping track of her will be hard if I'm watching him."

Bobby shot him a look that asked, "Do you want her to be killed?" but unfortunately, Becky had walked into the room just in time to hear him say that.

"Oh, PLEASE, PLEASE, PLEASE TAKE ME WITH YOU!" she yelled out, jumping up and down. She was like a five year old in a candy store. "I want to go on a mission!"

Chuck smirked, knowing he'd won. She'd just sneak off with us if we said no.

"I'm not responsible for her, either," Bobby growled out, stalking off. None of us doubted that one bit. "We leave in five minutes!"

I jumped up to pour a cup of coffee and tried to gulp it down. When I put it in the sink Bobby was starting the car outside. I turned to leave before I felt a hand on my shoulder. I turned to see Chuck standing there.

"Hey, be careful."

"Um… yeah? I was kind of already planning on that."

He shook his head. "No, I mean, I had a vision about this. Just, don't let your guard down, okay?"

My stomach got queasy at the "vision" part. "Um, what exactly was the vision _about? _Am I gonna, like, die?"

He shrugged. "It was a mini-vision. I just saw you fighting a bunch of Croats. Could be now, could be in a few weeks. Just figured I'd warn you."

"Uh… thanks." I was now officially ten times more freaked than I'd been ten minute s ago.

He just nodded kinda sadly before glancing out the window. "You'd better go. Bobby's looking kinda murderous. I think he's still mad."

I nodded and rushed out the door, jumping in the backseat of the car. It was an old pickup Chevy pickup, red and rusted but very sturdy looking. "Where's the Impala, anyways?" I asked. If I had ever loved a car, that was it. John had taught me to drive in that car on my fourteenth birthday. It was one of the only father-like things he'd ever done for me, really.

"It's in the back," Bobby said. "It's yours now."

"_What?" _

Bobby shrugged up front, glancing in the mirror to meet my eyes. "He thought it should stay in the family. You'd better look after it. He loved that car more than anything except Sam." Of course- Zachariah had told me that family was his weakness. Had he loved me more than the car? I'd probably never know.

"Of course I'll look after it!" I told Bobby. My tone was slightly affronted, but _really. _That car was classic!

Bobby nodded. "Good."

The car was silent. Becky was staring at me in awe, which got kind of annoying after a while. Crowley was staring out the window, bored. Bobby was driving, hands clenched on the wheel so tightly that his knuckles were white. His eyes were scanning the horizon, probably checking to make sure that nothing was going to attack in the next few seconds. The energy in the car was almost tangibly nervous, and it made me sure that I would hate to be the thing messing with those two men.

My stomach was still in knots thinking about fighting more of those things. Yeah, yesterday it had been easy- the fighting had been natural. What if that didn't happen today? What if it had been a onetime thing? What if, when it came down to it, I was a fail of a Winchester and I let everyone down?

Instead of work through my pointless fears I turned on Becky. "What?"

"Huh?" she asked, confused.

"You've been staring at me since we left."

"Can I drive the Impala?"

"Uh… what?" I had to admit, that question surprised me. Of all the reasons she'd been watching me, my newest possession was the one that I least expected.

"I mean, that car is _amazing. _I'm in love with it. Can I drive it?" I could tell that she wanted to be screaming, but the way she glanced at Crowley and Bobby tipped me off that she was afraid of their response to her over-enthusiastic fangirlism.

"Um… maybe. We'll see." Honestly, that was a hell no, but I didn't want to tell her that just yet. Not in an enclosed space where she could claw my eyes out. Because, really, the look she was giving me said that she would without a second thought.

"Yay!" she squealed, taking that as a yes like I'd hoped. While she danced around in her seat I went back to staring out the window.

We soon reached the town and pulled up outside a supersized Target. "It's got food, clothes, and everything else," Bobby informed us, as if he was an army general briefing us for a super secret mission. I had to grin. He handed each of us a large backpack- where had this been in my high school years? - and continued, "stuff these full of whatever you think we'll need. Necessities only," he then specified, looking towards me and Becky as he said it. "Got it?" We both nodded like good little soldiers. "Good. Go on, get to it." She hopped out first, but he took hold of my arm before I could follow. When I looked up he handed me a knife. "Stick with her, okay?" I nodded, but I was kind of disappointed. _He _didn't want to babysit, so he gave me the job instead? It wasn't fair, but he was the leader, so it was his decision. I hopped out and shut the door, following her inside.

The place was a mess. It was the first jolting realization I had that this was, truly, the Apocalypse, because this image was out of a horror movie. There were dead people lying in the isles: necks snapped, limbs ripped entirely off, blood splattered all of the white tile floors. Becky had frozen, eyes wide, and she looked a tiny bit green.

"Come on," I said, nudging her gently, "We'd better get going before anything shows up."

She nodded, eyes wide, and for once didn't have a thing to say.

The first section we hit was the clothes. I tried to pretend that there were no dead bodies and avoid all the blood splattered clothing, eventually settling for just grabbing about ten of the same shirts in my size and ten of the jeans, stuffing them into my bag. Then I dragged Becky off to the shoes, grabbing the first pair of tennis shoes I came across in my size and stuffing them in, too. "What now?" I asked.

"Um…" Becky glanced around for inspiration. "Candy!"

Instead of making the argument that "candy" would _never_ fall on Bobby's "necessities" list, but it was in the general food area, so I went with it. I shoved in anything and everything I could get- PowerAde bottles, chewy bars, _and _chocolate, among other things- before dragging Becky away. From there we wandered the isles, putting in whatever we found. I stuffed half of her bag full of whiskey, wine, and beer that Bobby didn't necessarily need to know about- a private store of sorts- and on our second time through the stationary isle I reached out for about twenty notebooks and stuffed them in as well. Then I snagged a two hundred pack of pens- the kind that lasted _forever, _which I knew thanks to far too many college notes from classes I'd already forgotten the names of- and dropped them in the bags.

"Let's go for the painkillers, huh?"

"O-kay!" Becky agreed happily. She was like a baby puppy dog, always following me around and a bit too excited about _everything. _

Then she saw the electronics. And off she went. I rolled my eyes but let her, as the pharmacy section was right next to it. I'd shoved all of the Advil and Tylenol into my bag and checked on her a few times before deciding to go into the back of the pharmacy to find the more potent pain killers like Vicodin. I'd just shoved a handful into the backpack when I heard Becky scream. I zipped the bag closed, threw it on my shoulder, and hopped the counter, running in her direction. "Die!" she screamed, bashing a Croat over the head with a laptop. It was fairly epic, but not very effective; she really only pissed it off. Instead it backhanded her into the shelves, lots of toys cascading down and burying her.

My mind went into the calm mode as adrenaline began coursing through my veins. I didn't really _like _Becky, but she was innocent. I couldn't let her die.

The knife was out of my pocket before I'd even thought about grabbing it. I threw it and it lodged through the Croat's head, causing it to stumble back and sink down to its knees before collapsing face-first. I looked around, but no other Croats seemed to be in immediate sight- this one worked alone. "Becky?" I called, but I didn't get a response. I ran over and began digging her out of the pile. The first thing I saw was sandy blond hair and blood staining it red. I dug through faster and shook her shoulder. "Becky? Wake up!" She blinked and mumbled fuzzily, but I figured that was the best I would get. "Okay, okay, c'mon," I said, hospital presence taking over. Number one rule: make the patient feel safe. I scooped her up in my arms, backpack still luckily over her shoulders, and headed for the entrance. "Bobby!" I yelled as loud as I could.

"Yeah?" he yelled back from across the store.

"We've got company!"

"Haul ass to the truck!" he commanded, and Crowley appeared right beside me. He gave me a sad, mournful expression.

"You couldn't just let her die?"

I shook my head. He reached out and took her, keeping pace with me and looking unbothered by the additional hundred plus pounds. We reached the truck and Bobby already had it running. "Get in, boy!" Crowley handed Becky back and popped into the front seat- really? Was opening the door _that tiring? - _and I climbed in the back, Becky on my lap. Tires squealed, we left dust in our trail, but we were headed home and no one was fatally wounded or dead. All in all? One successful mission complete.

Many thousand ahead.

But for now, I could smile.

* * *

_AN/ Hi~! Took me all day, but I totally got it done on time. =) Thank LMedora for her epicness at getting hers done so fast and give me extra time. Gotta go, project to work on. Much love. _

_ps. she already started writing. Next update soon. =) _


	7. Chapter 7

**Chuck**

When everybody returned from their supply run, my worst fears had come true. When I walked out onto the porch, the first things I saw was Adam. Covered in blood. Everything stopped. He was staring up at me tiredly, though not painfully, and that confused me.

"Hi," I said with a frown, not sure exactly what to say about it.

"Hi," he responded casually.

"You're…bleeding," I pointed out. He looked down at himself, holding out his hands which were covered in blood as well.

"Oh, no," he said quickly, "not mine."

I was about to ask when I saw Bobby carrying Becky up towards the house, covered in blood. I was guilty immediately after, but for a moment, I felt the most intense relief of my life and everything was right again.

"A Croat scratched her neck, so there's a lot of blood," Adam said, walking up to the porch while wiping his hands on his pants. "It didn't bleed on her, so no virus. But Bobby says it might be bad, but not deadly."

"Oh, good, okay," I said, nodding uselessly. "Good she's going to be okay, that is. Not—I mean…"

Adam chuckled lightly like he had last night so many times while we were talking. As he walked into the house, he patted my shoulder.

After a few hours, many stitches, and three bottles of wine, Becky was all fixed and everybody was bitter at Bobby for doing it. To make matters worse, she threw a tantrum when she woke up and we told her that she had passed out during her first Croat fight. I'd never seen her more pissed, not even after telling her about Sam's plan to say yes. Afterwards, everybody began unloading what had been gathered and placed it all onto the kitchen table for Bobby to sort through.

"Chuck," Bobby said, looking down at something shiny in his hands. I looked up hopefully, biting my lip as I recognized the Jack Daniels label. "_This_ is not for you. That whole shelf was smashed to the smithers except this bottle, so we've got to use moderation for once. Cas, this goes for you, too."

I looked over at the angel who was gaping at Bobby, horrified. I couldn't blame the man, though. Castiel had drunken the entire liquor cabinet throughout the day and growled at me like a feral animal when I tried to take any from him.

"But what if I get a vision?" I asked, unable to hide the petty whine in my voice. "I…they…visions hurt!"

"Which is what painkillers are for, which we got a lot of," Bobby muttered.

I felt my heart sink as I imagined all the terrible migraines I would have to endure without it. I leaned against a wall for support as a mini-headache reared its ugly head to say hello. Adam turned away from the kitchen with a plastic bag clutched in his hand. As he was about to leave, he paused near me and pressed the bag to my chest.

"What's this for?" I asked, looking down at the plastic.

"I'm sure you've already seen it in one of your visions—that electricity generator isn't going to last forever now that the power around town's gone out," he said quietly so that none of the others could hear. He smiled apologetically. "You're computer's going to use up a lot of energy. Once Bobby figures that out, your it's as good as scrap metal. When that happens, you'll still need that outlet, right? For the headaches? So I got you a few supplies for that. It's not much, but I hope it's enough."

I lifted the edge of the bag and peered down at the myriad of writing supplies. My mind fluttered wildly as it imagined the hours of writing under lamps, outside, and in all sorts of situations that formed a pretty collage in my mind. Then again, I'd more than likely develop carpel tunnel after a month or so. But still, the thought was…nice. It made me feel safe to know that somebody there was actually looking out for me and not just the group as a whole. I looked up to thank Adam, but he'd already left. So I turned instead and hurried back to my room to put away my gifts.

That night, everybody sat around the dinner table together, no matter how begrudgingly. Bobby said something about it being a human tradition to be passed down once the apocalypse was over. I didn't understand why. It hadn't really been traditional a few days ago, so why now? But everyone sat together in silence, picking at their scraps of food. It was then that the headache I'd been warding off all day hit at full force and I was ripped from reality into my world of comfort and peace where nothing had to do with me.

I was Adam, except everything was different—strange. He wasn't feeling his usual iron-man emotions. He was scared about something, but not like hunter mode scary. This was the kind of fear he was actually feeling with no adrenaline for a distraction. Also he was very anxious, like he was waiting for something. At the same time, there was something happening, something I had experienced twice already through these visions, but it was all wrong. It was Dean, but he was in the wrong place.

Then the vision shifted and I was back in Adam's mind in that peaceful, calm place where everything was centered around one thing—the hunt. The words 'Croat' and 'people' kept repeating in his mind. Something was different about this hunt. He wasn't fighting for his life like all the other times. I watched through his eyes as he seemed to be searching something out, then I realized what was going on. He wasn't attacked by the Croats by accident…he had wandered into their territory on _purpose_. I guess that made sense—all he could concentrate on was the group of innocent people hiding out in the caves that I could clearly see ahead…the Croats were stampeding towards as though they knew what was inside.

Then I was back at the awkward dinner table, my head pounding through my ears like it was desperate for an escape. All I could think was that I could kill Bobby for taking away my favorite remedy for the pain…but then it was gone. I wondered if I was having another vision, but it was too different. I looked over at the hand on my arm, then up at Adam who was watching me with a worried expression.

"You okay?" he asked. "Is it another vision?"

"Yeah, no, I mean yeah, vision," I stuttered. "No pain anymore. It's fine."

There was a loud snicker as Crowley suddenly appeared in the empty chair beside Bobby, just as lazy in posture as he always was.

"What's so funny?" Adam asked with a frown.

"Oh, nothing, sorry," he said, waving his hand dismissively. Though everyone could tell there was something else he wanted to say, but this was just part of his guessing game that he loved so much. As we always did when he tried to play, we ignored him.

"So what was it?" Adam asked, turning back to me, never moving his hand. "More fighting?"

"Kind of," I said, pulling out one of the smaller journals he had gotten me. It was able to fit in my pocket, so I carried it everywhere now. I pulled out a ballpoint pen and began to scribble down what I saw. "There's some uninfected people hiding out in some caves nearby, I think. You were going to save them."

"Leave em," Crowley shrugged. "They're good as dead anyway. Not much use losing a decent fighter of dead weight."

"But they were going to be rescued," I said defensively. "He can do it. The Croats were headed towards the wrong cave anyway, so there's hope…right?"

"'Course there is," Bobby said angrily. "Ya see, this is what's gonna separate us from _them_ when it comes down to it in the end. We'll never leave a man behind." He stood up and stomped away from the table after giving Crowley a pointed glare who returned it mockingly.

"Oh, can I go?" Becky pleaded, bouncing up and down in her seat. "I really wanna fight some more!"

"From the mouths of babes," Castiel laughed with a maniacal tone. I looked over at him and instantly felt terrible. Everything about him was just depressing, from the dark circles under his eyes to the dirt on his usual monkey suit and stalker coat.

"He's right," Adam said to Becky. "You were hurt last time. We shouldn't let you go out until you've had some proper training. Chuck, you should come."

"What?" I coughed, nearly choking on my mouthful of food.

"We're going to need help with the survivors and I think you're the man for the job." He smiled knowingly and nudged my shoulder. "You up for it?"

"Um…yeah, I mean, sure. If that's…alright."

Adam chuckled and stood up, patting my back before leaving the table. Crowley laughed even louder, eyes flickering back and forth as though he knew a terrible secret and was just dying to make me want to know what it was. But that would make Crowley happy. Nobody wanted that. So I pretended that it wasn't bugging me and that I really didn't want to know what he was hinting at even though I really did.

"You know, I could see you falling for him," Becky said dazedly, staring at the door Adam had just disappeared behind. At first I was slightly confused as to whom she was referring to, but then she turned to me and grinned wickedly.

"Should I even ask?" I said quietly, a little frightened that she might tell me anyway.

"Oh, come on!" she said exasperatedly, rolling her eyes dramatically. "You two have _totally_ been flirting since you got here! Before that, I bet. You can't honestly tell me you haven't noticed!"

"Um…no?" I mumbled, staring off into the distance. It took all the strength in my weak supply to force my mind not to wander towards Adam and the visions I'd ever had of him. Really, I knew him better than anyone, even himself sometimes, and his behavior towards me was something I recognized as tender. But…why? What would drive a man to such insanity as to think _I_ was worth falling in love over? Even Becky had realized her mistake and fixed it eventually. I mean…I'm so high maintenance with the visions and headaches, never being able to concentrate on anything other than writing. It just made no sense.

"You _so_ love him," she giggled, clapping her hands together. Before I could protest, she had taken her dinner dishes and left the dining room.

"She's right," Castiel slurred. I looked over to see him smiling dreamily. He had obviously taken Bobby's suggestion of painkillers. "Those Winchesters…what the help knows who they're thinking to?"

"Cas, maybe you'd like to go get some sleep," I suggested. "It's kinda been a long day."

"Scoop you!" he scolded before stumbling out of his chair.

I looked towards Crowley who was the last person left at the table, waiting for him to add his two cents. He scoffed in the way that clearly said he was above it all and stood up to leave. "I've said my piece," he muttered before disappearing.

Then I was left all alone, looking around, wondering how everybody had disappeared so quickly. I shrugged and reached over the table for Bobby's roll of bread and half-full bottle of beer.

The next day, I woke up before everybody else. Mostly because I'd had another vision that cut into my dreams which was about as fun as having one's jewels torn off during…a very intense moment. But after jotting down the vision in my new notebook, I found that I couldn't fall back asleep, so I decided a walk around the house would be best.

It was only six in the morning, but already light out. A thick layer of fog covered the whole area as far as I could see beyond the windows. That made the entire house chilly, but I smiled as my fresh cup of Joe warmed me to my toes. As I sipped from my Kiss the Cook mug, I noticed something strange on the front porch, barely visible past the fog. It looked like…a man. He was wearing a dark black coat and a bowler hat. Crowley.

I slipped past the front door, shutting it quietly since I knew that the snap of the lock was loud enough to at least wake up Becky, as we'd all learned the hard way. Then I walked over to where Crowley stood, squinting out at something I couldn't see.

"Have you been here all night?" I asked, making him jump slightly. Strange…I'd never seen him jump before.

"No," he said quickly. "I en't some lazy sleeper like you humans. I been working."

"On what?" I asked incredulously.

He rolled his eyes, clearly annoyed with me, then said "Excedo" in a commanding voice. At once, all the fog blew upwards in a powerful gust of wind so strong I had to hold onto one of the support beams in order to not fly away. Crowley, however, remained perfectly still as ever. When everything was calm again, I saw what he had done.

The whole surrounding area had changed. Any place where there had been empty space before, there was now a large, log cabin that looked as though it had been built there long ago. Many more identical cabins littered the area a long ways out, including a few extra buildings that were bigger than the others.

"Wha—" I gaped at the impossible sight, almost at a loss for words. "What the hell happened?"

"Not like the girl scouts can use their precious summer camp anymore," Crowley shrugged. "We've got survivors…they'll need a place to stay…it was nothing, really."

"Crowley, did you just do something…nice?" I asked, staring at him with most terrified expression I'd ever made. He looked down at me, slight fear on his face as well.

"No, 'course not," he said a little too quickly. "Purely selfish, I assure you."

"But…where did this all come from?" I stepped off the porch, looking around. It was definitely no work of art with all the buildings facing odd directions and on a few uneven surfaces, but it was awe inspiring nonetheless.

Crowley snapped his fingers and a large object fell from the sky, hitting the ground right in front of me with a loud crack. I yelped loudly and stepped back. As the dust settled, I saw the wooden sign stuck in the dirt that read Camp Chitaqua. I vaguely remembered seeing that name on a map once, but it was supposed to be near the lake which was ten miles away.

"Now go away," Crowley ordered bitterly. "I'm working on finding one of them fancy metal gates to put around that perimeter Michael was tellin' you about. Work's better without you having a meltdown right in front of me."

I quickly retreated into the house and ran upstairs, telling myself that I was probably just having some freaky dream and that it would all be better soon. As I was about to enter my room, Adam left his and stopped me.

"Where've you been?" he asked, frowning. "Bobby just woke up and told me we should be leaving soon. It may take a while to find those caves you told us about and we don't want to arrive too late."

"Yeah, okay," I said just as a thick wave of pain rolled through my brain. I rubbed my eyes to distract myself momentarily and stumbled into my room. "Just have to…_ouch!_"

"Hey, you alright?" Adam asked, gripping my arms to keep me steady as I leaned against the window which was way too cold.

"Fine, fine," I said quickly. "It's just a morning vision."

Morning visions are the worst. The only kind of vision more terrible is the kind that interrupts my dreams and I'd already had that. It was as if heaven was purposefully trying to cause me pain today. But the visions that come just after waking up last longer, which means more intense pain afterwards.

"Chuck, look at me," Adam said forcefully as he held me up like a useless ragdoll. I looked at him and saw the frustration in his eyes just before another wave hit. "It's going to be alright. Everything's going to be okay."

For a moment, I believed him. Something in his face just held such hope it was infectious and I suddenly felt safe again, just like yesterday, but more powerful. He must have realized that because his expression changed to slight surprise, then back to confusion. I nodded to him, clenching my jaw against the pain which was almost unbearable. It was all I could do to remain standing.

"Chuck…" he said quietly. Then I saw something in his expression I didn't recognize for once. It was foreign and I didn't understand and my head hurt so I couldn't even try to.

A moment later, all I could do was blink before everything had changed. Adam's face was suddenly much closer than it had been and his lips were pressed against mine in an awkward touch. We both held still, too shocked to even move. It was too strange just to feel—merely skin against skin, nothing to it. But as he leaned away from me, I couldn't help notice the slight cold and sudden loss. His fingers dug into my arms, causing the muscles in his arms and neck to ripple, though I was sure he was unaware of it.

He gaped at me, that confused look never leaving his face and all I could do was stare, wide-eyed. My mind was momentarily painless, simply flooded with muddled thoughts and conclusions as many more pieces of my puzzle were put together and torn apart. Many of these thoughts revolved around my being at least five years older than Adam, the world ending, people who need his attention much more than I did, and a certain lack of care on my part.

But all these thoughts were blown away as Adam leaned down again, much more slowly this time, and kissed me. It was no longer just that simple contact it had been before, it was a real _kiss_, the kind that makes everything stop. The kind that made a person's heart flutter, their blood boil and freeze at the same time. Adam's fingers released their vice grip on my arms as he gently pulled me against his chest, deepening the kiss until both our lips were parted. Then my evil brain chose that moment to allow the pain back in and images if the vision flashed beneath my closed eyelids, warning me of how impatient it was. But I circled my arms around Adam's neck, just needing to keep myself grounded to reality which seemed very dreamlike as he held on tightly, squeezing all the air from my lungs, but that might just have been because I'd forgotten to breathe. I managed to ward off the vision until our lips parted and I felt him breathing deeply against me. Then I felt my body collapse in his arms; I was dragged into the vision and away from Adam.

* * *

_AN/ Woot! We finally got that slashiness going. Let's have a cheer, shall we? =) Reviews are love! _


	8. Chapter 8

**Adam**

Kissing Chuck was surely the best thing that had happened to me since I'd died. On second thought, it was probably the most amazing thing to ever happen to me. It easily topped heaven, high school, fighting, and all of those days at the park with my mom. This kiss was peaceful and clear, sparkling with energy that left me breathless.

When we broke apart, though, he collapsed in my arms. Reality came crashing back in full force, along with all my worry from before. I'd promised him that everything would be okay, but I wasn't sure how to keep that promise. I couldn't make the visions go away, although sometimes it seemed like a bit of the pain went away when I was there. I was resolved to do the very best I possibly could.

For now I sunk down to the floor, still supporting him, and waited. I could almost feel the pain rolling off of him in waves.

After a few minutes Bobby paused in the doorway, taking in our situation with a questioning look. "He collapsed with a vision," I explained. Comprehension dawned and Bobby nodded.

"We're leaving in five minutes, with or without him," he warned. "I'll drag yer ass to the truck if I have to."

"We'll be there," I promised, hoping that he'd wake up in time. I would hate to have to leave him here, to wake up alone and in pain without an explanation for _why _I'd kissed him when I had.

Not that I really had an explanation for it. Kissing him then, when he was in pain and not fully capable of thinking straight, had been practically taking advantage. Judging by the way he'd kissed me back I didn't think he had minded, but I wasn't the kind of person to run off after something like that.

Luckily, he woke up just as Bobby started yelling from downstairs. I dragged us both upright and pulled him down the stairs. "We've got to go," I told him. He nodded, wincing, but didn't talk; his jaw was clenched. I was guessing that was to keep from crying out. We got to the truck and Bobby was driving the second that I had closed the door behind us.

"Geez," I muttered irritably, "in a hurry much?"

Bobby shot me a glare through the mirror up front but otherwise ignored the comment.

Chuck was sitting beside me, head clutched in his hands. I fished a bottle of painkillers out of my pocket and tipped double the average migraine dose into my hand- it wouldn't hurt him, just make him a bit more tired than normal. "Here," I said, handing them over to him. It took a moment for his mind to catch up to what they were, but then he swallowed them and gave me a forced smile before once again closing his eyes and holding his head. I sighed and put my hand on his arm, just to let him know I was still there, even though I couldn't do anything else. It may have been my imagination, but he seemed to relax slightly.

Past this exchange the car was silent. It was only the three of us- Cas was still stoned on prescription painkillers, Becky had been banned from outings the night previously, and Crowley had protested that he was no good at human relations- after all, he wasn't necessarily human, therefore not the most comforting to these frightened people. We all saw it as a thin excuse, but Bobby let it slide; he probably had figured out that Crowley was right when he'd attested to not being good with people.

However, now that we were on the road I was slightly worried about how well our little trio would do. Only Bobby was a trained hunter; Chuck wasn't much of a fighter at all. He'd be best at human relations, though: Becky was too wild, Cas too out-of-it and strange, Crowley too uncaring and inhuman, Bobby too gruff, and me too clueless. I barely knew anything about hunting, so I would be useless teaching others. I guessed that we would find out how well we could fight, though, when we entered the fray. It was like the ultimate training mission: do or die. There wasn't a lot of room for failure.

It took about an hour, by Bobby finally pulled over on the side of an uneven dirt road. He turned off the engine and pocketed the keys. "We're here."

Chuck lifted his head and blinked, turning to look at me. "You okay to do this?" I asked. He nodded, but looked a bit green. As I climbed out of the backseat I made a mental note to keep constant track of him.

Bobby handed us each a knife and a gun, plus extra clips. "You aim, you shoot, and you don't let them close enough to bleed on you. Don't use the knives until you're out of ammo; keep the Croats at as big a distance as you can manage." He stared us each in the eye. "Got it?" We both nodded. "Good." He locked and loaded his own rifle before heading off down a forest path. "We're going for speed, not stealth. We need to reach these people before they do. Use any tactics you think of. The caves are straight along this path- go for the ones farthest to the left. Those are the larger ones, and a few have water. The right ones are too small for anyone to be livin' in 'em." We nodded, following his brisk pace. "Good luck."

I didn't doubt that we'd need it.

My senses were on high alert, adrenaline pumping through my veins with just the anticipation of fighting, and yet the Croats still managed to sneak up on us. One moment the path was clear, the next the world was full of savage beings launching themselves at us. Chuck looked like he wanted to bolt, and I gave him some credit for standing his ground. He began shooting wildly into the trees, hitting anything that moved. It wasn't helpful, really, but it was a start.

I covered both of us, aiming and firing off rapidly. I nudged him forward, setting us at a steady pace to try and reach the caves. Bobby had disappeared from sight, but I was confident that he was , of all of us, could take care of himself.

I ran out of ammo in my gun and traded with Chuck before he even comprehended what we were doing. "Reload," I ordered, and he complied. I emptied what was left in the chamber after his frantic shooting earlier. When it was empty I traded guns once more. "Reload," I ordered again. He fumbled at his pockets as I aimed.

"I'm out of bullets!"

I didn't stop to think, I just shot at another Croat and took aim again before telling him, "My clips are in my pocket."

He hesitated for a second before fishing in my jeans pocket, pulling out the rest of the bullets and quickly reloading. I dropped my original rifle as he finished and took it from him. I gave him a shove, yelling, "Run!" before heeding my own advice and covering us as we rushed towards the caves.

I was beginning to believe that Crowley had been right when he'd said that this wasn't worth wasting decent fighters over. But I remembered the innocent people, scared and about to die, and I remembered exactly how I'd felt before I'd been eaten by ghouls. I couldn't leave anyone to a fate like that.

I dropped the gun when I had emptied it for the last time and pulled out my knife instead. I ran as quickly as I could, holding Chuck's arm to drag him along as well, hoping that no Croats would get close enough that the knife would be useful anyways. We were lucky… right up until we reached the clearing before the caves.

A band of Croats had made a wall, blocking our progress, and more were in the clearing behind them headed towards the caves. I could hear innocent people screaming and it froze me to the core. Bobby was nowhere in sight; we were on our own.

"Ideas?" I asked tersely, assessing the situation for myself. I couldn't kill seven plus Croats with only knives.

"I could distract them so that you can get to the people?" he offered hesitantly. I shook my head instantly. I couldn't just leave him to die. Even if my heart hadn't cried out at the thought, he was innocent. I couldn't sacrifice someone else to save myself. Even if I was trying to save others. Before I could think- the longer we waited, the closer the Croats chasing us got- I lunged forward, testing my luck and disregarding Bobby's rules.

What I'd come to learn was my hunter mode returned and the world slowed down and cleared. The Croats fought with raw power instead of skill, so I started from the middle of their ranks and let them come to me. My knife was rather long- about five or six inches, I guessed- and I used it to completely sever the head of the middle Croat. The others screamed in outrage and broke ranks to circle me. I yelled at Chuck to get past them while he could, seeing as all six were utterly focused on their bloodlust toward me. After that I lost track of him as it became vital that I focus on this fight. Six to one wasn't the best of odds.

I tried to avoid cutting at them and dodged as much as possible, going in only for killing blows. When I got a deep gash on my left arm it became imperative that I cut as little as possible- a drop of their blood on that wound and I was gone. I was lucky enough to dispatch four of them rather quickly as they got confused and accidentally attacked each other. With only two left the others began to catch up and fight me as well.

Suddenly three shots rang out and three Croats fell. I didn't have time to look at who had saved me. I had three left and killed them fairly quickly: a stab to the heart, one lodged into one's skull, and I had just finished gutting the last when I heard a shout from behind me. "Adam!"

I spun to see a Croat with its claws out, nails literally sharpened to points, but I had no time to move. It swiped down at my face and I closed my eyes quickly to avoid letting them get gouged out. The pain broke through the clarity of my hunting mode and I stumbled back, blinking my eyes open again. Everything was hazy red thanks to the blood dripping in my eyes and I backed away from the Croat. I had dropped my knife and had absolutely no way to defend myself. I was almost positive that I was going to die.

Just as it had almost reached me again and was about to claw at me again, the Croat crumpled forward. As it collapsed I saw that knife had been driven through its back, severing its spine cleanly. I looked from the corpse before me up to Chuck's startled eyes. "Did you just…?"

He nodded dumbly. "Uh-huh."

"You… you just saved my life," I realized out loud. It fully computed and I smiled. "Thanks."

He shrugged. "You've saved mine multiple times."

A woman screamed from one of the caves and I pulled the knife out of the corpse between us. "Come on. Duty calls."

Killing the rest of the Croats was easy, because they were distracted by their prey. Bobby was already managing one of the two large caves, so we took the other. Most people in it were dead or infected, but Chuck and I did our best to calm the rest of the traumatized people. They were afraid of us, but that was to be expected. I found a boy that looked just a couple years younger than me crouched in a corner, clinging to a dead body of a slightly younger girl. "Hi," I greeted softly. He met my gaze numbly, very little consciousness existing behind his gaze. His hair was dark, dark brown and his eyes were an emerald green.

"Hello," he acknowledged dully after a moment. He wasn't frightened, at least.

"Are you hurt?" I asked, looking for blood. It was hard to tell what was his and what had been the girl's.

"No," he said dully.

"Who was that?" I asked cautiously, nodding towards the corpse he held.

"My little sister. Mom told me to protect her. I tried…"He seemed to refocus a bit as his gaze focused on mine. "I really tried to save her, but there were so many of them…" He looked desperate and near tears.

"Shh," I told him, glad that part of medical training was comforting people who had just lost a family member. "I know you did. What's your name?"

"Jesse."

I nodded and reached out. "We can get you to a safe place, Jesse, if you'll just come with us."

He looked away from me and down at his sister. "I can't leave her."

"She's gone, Jesse. I'm sorry. We can only save you." I mentally searched for a way to convince him. We were running short on time. "Wouldn't your mother want at least one of you to be safe?"

For a few agonizingly long moments the kid said nothing. Finally he slowly nodded and stood up. I stood as well, glancing around before resting my gaze on Jesse once more. He was still holding onto his sister. "Shouldn't you… um…"

"I want to bury her properly."

I nodded slowly. "Did any of them bleed on her?"

"What?" He seemed horrified at the thought. "No! They just ripped her apart."

I nodded. "I'm so sorry you had to see that."

He swallowed thickly. "Thanks." I glanced over to see Chuck waiting for me at the mouth of the cave, a girl that looked maybe thirteen or fourteen next to him. What was with all the kids surviving? She was tall and tanned, very athletic looking, and startlingly pretty. Her eyes were a midnight blue and her hair brown and blond streaked hair was pulled back into a ponytail. Part of her hair had fallen lose- most likely while she'd been running or fighting- and was now tucked behind her right ear. She had a pocketknife clutched in her hand and was asking Chuck questions rapidly, barely waiting for the answers before moving on to the next. I crossed quickly over to them, trying not to see the rest of the carnage left behind in the cave or to hear the pleas of those too injured for us to save. "Hello," I greeted the girl calmly. "I'm Adam. What's your name?"

She seemed to lose her train of thought for a moment, questions dying on her lips as she gaped at me. I smiled patiently, a bit amused.

"Um… I'm Sami," she said, biting her lip. She turned to Jesse. "Hey, Jess." Then she zeroed in on the girl in his arms. "Oh! Oh, my God! Jen!"

I glanced at Jesse to see him watching Sami sadly. I realized that she and his sister would be about the same age. "Did you know her?" Chuck asked, confused.

Tears had filled Sami's eyes, but she wiped them away impatiently. "She was one of my best friends." Her shoulders squared and she walked off briskly, back into the light. I rushed after her to make sure that she wouldn't get ambushed alone, hearing the two follow a bit more slowly behind me. I reached out and took hold of Sami's shoulder, pulling her to a stop in the middle of the clearing.

"Hey." She turned and looked up at me, eye a bit red but with a determined fire in her eyes. "I'm sorry."

She shrugged. "Don't be. Jen's dead either way." She looked away and glared in the opposite direction.

I hated myself for it, but in this girl's anger and way of coping I saw a lot of potential for a future hunter. She was young, sure, but she was sturdy and I deduced that she'd already been fighting due to the pocket knife clasped tightly in her hand. "Hey, if you want revenge, we can teach you how to fight these things. You can save other innocent people."

She met my eyes and the intensity of her gaze kind of frightened even me. "Is there any chance I could get Jen back?" She didn't need me to answer, she just steamrolled ahead. "No. But will killing as many of these sons of bitches as I can make the pain hurt less?" I had to wonder where she'd learned to cuss like that. It garnered a grudging respect from me. "Of course. Count me in."

I had to smile at that. This girl was feisty, and she had fire. She was possibly the best find we could have made. Crowley had been wrong- even if no one else hidden in these caves had the ability to hunt, this girl was a gem. I was willing to bet she'd do better than Chuck and Becky combined.

"Great."

Bobby headed out of the other cave. All had gone quiet inside- the only sounds were feet moving across dirt and Chuck and Jesse holding a hushed conversation behind me and Sami. I heard the faint introductions, the condolences expressed on the behalf of the late Jen, but then I focused on Bobby's approach.

A woman maybe Dean's age was following behind him. She was _very _pregnant and walking slowly. Her hair was fire red and her eyes were golden colored. Even with her baby belly she was quite beautiful. Tears were still running down her face.

"Adam, Chuck," Bobby nodded as he got closer. His tensed as he saw the mess that had been my face. "All clear?"

I nodded. "It just got in a good scratch. I'm fine." Honestly, now that I'd been reminded of my wound I wasn't the most pain-free person ever, but I more or less still in one piece. "We found Sami and Jesse," I said, pointing to each in turn. Bobby's eyes lingered over Jen's body, but he knew better than to ask and set the two off again.

"Good work," he approved. "This is Lynn. All of her company was lost, but her husband protected her. Poor fellow died just before I reached her."

Chuck stepped forward. "Nice to meet you, Lynn, I'm Chuck," he told her gently. "I'm sorry for your loss." She nodded and gave him a weak smile. I could still see her husband's death haunting her eyes.

"We should head back," I said, looking at the sky. The sun was beginning to sink, maybe at two or three o'clock right now, and I wanted to be back home. Back with bandages and running water and food and a nice bed.

It took us about ten minutes to reach the truck. It took us about five minutes more to pick who was sitting where. Bobby was driving again, no question- his truck, his rules. Lynn sat up front with him; as a pregnant person, she automatically got the most consideration. Jesse stubbornly refused to let go of his sister, so he sat in the truck bed with her still cradled in his lap. Sami refused to let me out of her sight, so she sat in the backseat with me. Chuck climbed in the bed of the truck with Jesse (and Jen).

On the ride back Sami and Lynn struck up a conversation. They too had apparently know each other before; the town they came from was somewhat small, so this wasn't such a big coincidence. Lynn had been a freshman English teacher at the high school Sami and Jesse had both attended. She had actually been Sami's teacher that year before she'd left on maternity leave when she'd reached seven months pregnant. She was carrying twins.

Sami skillfully steered the conversation around mentions of Lynn's husband, instead sticking to schoolwork and the essay she'd aced since Lynn's leave. At one point she asked when the twins were due.

"In seventeen days," Lynn told her, smiling genuinely for the first time since I'd met her.

Bobby's eyes met mine in the mirror and I realized he'd been paying as close of attention to the conversation as I had. I also saw his request. My heart sunk.

He pulled me aside the moment we got back. "You're the one with the medical training," he headed me off.

"One year of pre-med, Bobby! Those were the basics!" I all but shouted in panic. "I can't deliver babies!"

"Then she'll die." He frowned at me. "You've got more book-smarts than the rest of us, kid, and in the right area."

I wanted to disagree, to tell him that I'd only seen one woman giving birth and I'd almost passed out, but I had to grudgingly admit that he was right. "Fine, but you've got the most experience, so you had better help," I agreed sulkily.

"Uh, couldn't help but overhear that," Sami commented, sliding out the truck door next to me. "My mom's a nurse. I helped in the hospital a lot. I know a bit. Want me to assist?"

Bobby's eyes were practically shining- this girl had to be his new favorite person. "I'm sure the idjjit will need all the help he can get," Bobby told her, clapping me on the shoulder as he walked away.

"You really know how to deliver?"

"No." She smiled sweetly. "I've assisted a few times, though, so I know more than either of you. Plus, girls stick together. Lynn will need a girl with her to get her through it."

I nodded, medical brain switching on and planning. "Sounds good, then. Thank you."

She shrugged. "No problem," she said, heading off after Lynn, who Bobby was leading towards the cabins Crowley had magically procured during the night.

Jesse headed off after them and Chuck and I headed inside.

"OH MY GOD!" Becky screamed when she saw us walk into the kitchen. She jumped out of her chair and ran over to us. "Adam! You're covered in blood! Are you infected? Will you turn rabid and kill us?"

Chuck rolled his eyes. "He's clean, Becky."

She looked a bit sad. "Oh. Well. How'd you get all sliced up, then?"

Cas wandered into the kitchen and burst out laughing on the sight of me. He wandered right back out, still stoned. That poor guy was losing it.

Chuck came back from the sink with a wet rag and handed it to me. I knew that my face was a mess, but I'd need a mirror before I could really see how serious the wounds were and bandage them. Instead I shrugged out of my shirt- watching in amusement as both of my companions got a little dazed- and washed the blood off my arm. "Is there a first aid kit around here? With sutures?"

Becky retrieved it from under the sink and I swallowed down four aspirin, knowing that they wouldn't help much. I began sewing up my skin, much to their mutual disgust. Chuck turned green and Becky left "to check on Cas". Chuck stayed, looking anywhere but at the needle in my skin.

"Doesn't that… hurt?" he asked lamely.

I grinned in spite of myself. "Yeah. Like a bitch. It's gotta be done, though, and I know how to do it." He nodded. "I'm gonna go get a shower so I can bandage the deeper cuts on my face. I think they're pretty minor; head wounds bleed a lot."

He nodded, looking relieved, and caught my arm before I could leave the room. He didn't seem to know what to say, but eventually he settled for, "I'm glad you weren't hurt worse. Thanks for watching out for me."

I grinned at him. "Thanks for saving my life." On impulse I ducked down and gave him a quick kiss. He looked surprised, but not negatively so, when I pulled back. "We'll talk tomorrow, okay? It's been a long day."

"Tomorrow," he agreed with a faint smile. "Goodnight, Adam."

"'Night."

All the dried blood washed away with the water of the shower and the mirror showed me that the wounds were shallow. I put bandages over the deeper cuts but settled for just disinfecting the rest, knowing that they'd be just faint marks in the morning.

I was really tired- a mix of fading adrenaline and painkillers, I was sure. I collapsed on my bed fully dressed and worn out, falling asleep as soon as my head hit the pillow.

My dreams were plagued with nightmares and I woke up with a headache worse than any I'd ever suffered before. The clock beside me read 3:05 and it was dark out, leading me to believe that my painkillers had worn off. I sat up and turned on the bedside lamp before another wave of pain washed through me. With it, I felt something strange.

I was in my head. So was someone else. _What the hell? _

_Where? Who… __**Adam? **_The other person yelled out, making my head throb worse.

There was a brief lull in the pain and I recognized the person. "Dean?"

After a slight pause, he asked, _why am I in your brain instead of my own? _

_I… I dunno, _I told him truthfully. _Sorry. _

_ So… you're at Bobby's? _was his attempt at a halfhearted conversation.

My anger was welling up, though, and I knew he could feel it. It wasn't really pissed off anger, but all of my pent up frustration. _Why did you say yes, Dean? Damn it! You were supposed to keep fighting! _

I could feel him glaring at me. It was strange, because I couldn't see it, but my mind knew the look was there. I winced from the awkward feeling of sharing my mind with someone else. _Well, I didn't have much a choice after my idiot brother made a mistake, now, did I? _he asked sarcastically, angry now too.

All of my anger drained away when he said that, replaced with that horrible nagging guilt. _I didn't mean to, _I whispered. _I didn't. I tried to say no, but it slipped out mentally for half a second. _

The memory played through my head and I felt him watching it. Realizing this, I played through the guilt I'd felt when Chuck had told me what had happened. _Oh. _He didn't seem to know what to say. _It's fine, kid. It's not… that bad. _

I could feel the lie; it tasted bitter on my tongue. _I'm so sorry. _

Dean mentally nodded. _Well, I know how you can make it up to me, _he decided. _Then you'll feel better, I'll feel better, and the world might just become a better place, huh? _The sarcasm was thick, but there was some seriousness behind his statement.

_What, then? _

_Can you turn over control of your meatsuit to me for a bit, kid? Just so that I can make amends to the others? _

I glanced out the dark window pointedly. _It's three in the morning. _

_I'll write a note, then, _he problem solved. _Please, Adam? Just for a few minutes. _I could feel the ulterior motive behind him wanting to apologize to everyone- he wanted to be able to move again. Even in someone else's body- as in, mine- he wanted to be in control, if only for a moment.

It was my fault he'd given that up. Could I really deny him it?

_Alright, _I agreed. _Just… how? _He mentally shoved me back and pushed himself forward as if it was something he did every day. _Oh. _

"Lot's of practice from Michael owning my body," Dean whispered out loud. He smiled, elated at the small freedom. This was even weirder- I could feel my body moving but I had no control of it. Dean sprung to his feet and headed off downstairs, glancing in a mirror on his way down the hall. "You got yourself pretty nicked up, kiddo," he commented almost silently, examining the stitches on my left arm. "Good stitching, though. Your own work?"

_Yeah, _I told him. I was quickly learning to hate this feeling, being a backseat driver in my own body. Demonic possession had to suck, and I was glad I didn't remember being possessed by Michael. I could see why my brothers had been adamant about saying no to the angels, if only for this reason and not because they were epic douches.

In the kitchen Dean was fishing for paper and a pen when a voice from behind us said my name. "Adam?"

Dean spun to see Castiel standing there. I was relieved to see that the angel looked better. There was a clarity in his eyes that I hadn't seen since my first day here; he was no longer stoned. He was standing up straight and looked a lot more like a normal person.

Dean, however, was horrified. Cas' eyes were bloodshot, there were dark circles outlining them, and his skin was abnormally pale. He hadn't eaten properly in days and it was starting to show as hollowness in his cheeks. He hadn't changed clothes in days and they were wrinkled, his shirt stained with beer down one side. His hair was sticking up in all directions. He was pitifully human compared to the presence he had held as an angel.

"What the hell, Cas?" Dean exclaimed loudly, forgetting the early hour. Forgetting that this was my body, not his.

Castiel's eyes widened. "Dean?"

This, to me, was quite eerie. They'd seemed connected the first time I'd met Cas, even though at the time he'd been pissed at my brother. This was, however, quite different- he could recognize him even in _me. _It just seemed strange.

Not as strange, however, as what Dean was feeling in that next moment. It hit me like a ton of bricks, causing me to mentally stagger back from the force of it. Chuck had said that Dean had kinda loved Cas back, not in a romantic way, but still. This was definitely not "kinda" love, not platonic in any way, shape, or form. It was explosive lusty romantic feelings, enough that I was sure there would be sparks shooting up any moment in pinks and reds and whites and golds.

"You look like shit," Dean informed him, but before he could say more Cas had crossed the room and punched him in the face.

Damn, and that hurt. This was _my _poor face (already scratched up) getting bruised here, but Dean just stood and took it. This went with making amends, so I didn't complain, but I did give him a sharp mental poke.

"You left me!" Cas choked out, and I realized that he was crying. Yes, this sad little ex-angel surely was in love with my brother.

"I'm sorry." Dean circled my arms around Cas, holding him close, and kissed him. The kiss started out gentle, but it built into a very passionate and _very embarrassing _kiss. They were using tongue and whispering each other's names, lost in their own little world of passion. I could feel my own erection growing, which was terribly awkward, especially because _I _was not the least bit turned on.

_Dean. I totally can't be kissing Cas. Even if it's you. _It was right then that I realized that neither of them cared that this was my body. They were intent on being together one last time.

_Sorry, bro, _Dean had the ethics to say. Even his mind was gasping, lost in the kiss. I wanted to puke. _I won't make you watch this. _My mind was being put to sleep, and I went with it. There was no way for me to take back control, and I _did not _want to see where this was going.

I woke up in my bed, under the covers. Was I lucky enough that it had been a dream? The sun was shining through the window and I sat up, instantly feeling sore in places that I had never been sore before. Not places that I would have been sore just from fighting yesterday.

What had they _done?_

_

* * *

AN/ And on that happy note! Thanks to Alex (aka Sami, here ^.^) for her beta helpings on this chapter. Reviews are love! _


	9. Chapter 9

**Chuck**

The house held no interest to me after Adam had gone to bed. I was stuck in a constant battle between wanting to sing, dance, and scream my head off at the same time…and maybe smash a few windows. It was all so much that it brought on a headache of its own which is probably my biggest epic fail to date. I decided that I should follow the leader and take a nap as well, but as I headed towards the stairs, I was interrupted.

"Chuck, could you run to the kitchen and see if you can't rustle up some oil from under the sink?" Bobby asked as he was headed out the back door towards the junkyard.

"Yeah, sure thing," I said too quickly, suddenly eager to get to the kitchen. I turned and started to walk away.

"And Chuck," he called after me. I skidded to a quick stop, really wishing he would just let me go already. But he was giving me one of those knowing looks as though he could read my mind. "Hands off the liquor cabinet."

He chuckled to himself, ignorant to the fact that he had just crushed my hope for ending the day, happily drowning in alcohol, my sweet companion. I scowled as he disappeared and I turned to walk towards the kitchen. Once there, I couldn't help eying that liquor cabinet, like a magnet to my eyes. It was so seductive with its polished wooden doors hanging slightly lopsided and that one missing knob…screw it.

I ran over to the cabinet, yanking the doors open and sighing when I saw that glowing amber bottle, singing to me like the sweetest siren. It was one of only three bottles on the shelf and the one below it was completely empty. It's a good thing we would be heading out for another supply run soon. I could stock up on a secret stash then. For now, I was satisfied to grab that bottle of JD and take one long chug. My headache instantly softened up and everything felt nice again.

Suddenly, I heard Bobby's voice coming from just beyond the kitchen door, drawing nearer. I was cornered. With a careless shrug, I hoisted myself onto the empty shelf of the cabinet and pulled the door closed behind me. It was a tight fit, but good enough since I had my bottle curled tightly against my chest. Through the empty space where the doorknob was missing, I had a view of the entire room.

"Chuck?" Bobby called out, walking into the room. After being satisfied that he couldn't find me, he turned and slid shut the door that cut off the kitchen from the rest of the house. Then he quickly skipped over to the liquor cabinet where I was hidden, wide eyed and terrified. But thank Jack Daniels for Crowley and his impeccable timing.

"Bobby," he said in that annoyingly casual tone of his. "There you are. We need to talk."

"What?" Bobby said, startled. "Um, nothin', I was just…screw you, Crowley." He made as if to dramatically storm out of the kitchen, but the demon quickly stood in between him and the door.

"I said," he leaned against the frame with his arm raised to the height of his neck, "we need to talk." Bobby stepped back with his arms folded stubbornly, reluctantly ready to listen. "We've all been thinking it. I, the only demon around. You, a hunter. The wannabe hunter, the broken angel, a drunk prophet, and a closet case Winchester. And once all those darling little recruits find out—"

"Damn it, Crowley, you already know we ain't gonna gut you in your sleep so long as you've got my soul in your pocket," Bobby said exasperatedly. "You're perfectly safe, ya idjit."

"Safe?" Crowley frowned, slightly confused. He lowered his arms so they were stuffed in his pockets like they usually were. "I was trying to make you realize that we're hardly going to get a moment's peace around here and I know how touchy you are about…having an audience."

I felt my face turn red; my eyes widened, and I had to stop myself from gagging. Dean would call me a freaking pervert for automatically getting…_that_ out of the sentence. But Bobby's face was cherry-Mustang red and he was visibly shaking from what I assumed was rage. Surely Crowley didn't mean…?

"Listen to me, you son of a bitch," Bobby ground out threateningly. "You've got to stop stalking me with your _insane_ theories that I've replaced Brody as your 'lover against Lucifer.' I sold my soul to you, we closed a deal. _One kiss_. That's it, it's over. Now, you must have some sort of co-dependency issues or something because this is just getting sad."

"_Don't,_" Crowley barked, then in lower tones, "get superior on me. I used to be a demon with respect, see. Not your everyday whore of an exorcism. You think I would waste my time chasing a maggot of a human like yourself without a _reason_?"

I shivered at the unnatural darkness in his voice. As though to emphasize my thoughts, his eyes suddenly went demon black, glaring deliberately at Bobby who was backing up until he reached the kitchen sink, though he leaned away still as Crowley continued to advance.

"What the hell are you talking about?" Bobby said, obviously trying to sound tough and manly, though his voice was barely a whisper. I cursed my mind for automatically placing him in a loose and frilly dress and Crowley in a cowboy's outfit as though playing out a cheesy Nora Roberts scene. They just couldn't rock that look.

"Oh, I think you know," Crowley purred. He reached up and traced Bobby's cheek with the back of his hand and my confusion deepened. Bobby's eyes snapped shut, but he remained still. "You're drawn to me, Bobby…you've been thinking about me ever since that one kiss. You've been craving it…"

Bobby looked as though he had something to say, but never got a chance to as Crowley quickly silenced him with his lips. Eyes bulging out of my skull, I slapped a hand to my mouth to smother my gasp. It was too much…Bobby…Crowley…my mind just wanted to shut down at that. I watched in disbelief as Crowley started the groping and Bobby looked like he was going to pass out, grasping the counter for support. What would drive the universe to think that it could put a demon and a hunter together and even attempt to make it work?

Then Bobby broke away from Crowley and put a good distance between them, his face terrified and guilty. To make matters worse, his lips were swollen red, giving him a slightly disheveled look. He quickly turned tail and left the kitchen.

"You enjoy the fucking show?" Crowley growled menacingly. He turned and looked directly at the liquor cabinet, his eyes still deep black. In an instant, the doors had flown open and an invisible force pushed me onto the unfriendly floor. "Prophet, you seem to have the worst timed cravings for a drink out of every piss poor drunk in this sad little world. You know that?"

"Yep…starting to get it," I wheezed, stumbling to my feet. "I didn't see anything…I mean, in case you're wondering—"

"Don't make yourself look more a fool than you already have." Crowley's anger seemed to have gone and was replaced by a cold and bitter aura that seemed to radiate outward that he was not to be messed with. "Look, if it were up to me, I'd tell you that you could run that mouth off to whoever you damn well please. But _he_ wouldn't like that, now would he? _He_ is the only one keeping me alive. Now you keep that trap shut or by the fires of hell and my pretty, pretty hell puppy, you won't be telling any more bedtime stories. Got it?"

I gulped weakly and nodded quickly. Crowley's eyes went back to normal just in time to roll exasperatedly. Then the demon disappeared, leaving me all alone in the kitchen, still clutching my precious bottle to my chest.

I didn't sleep well that night. All my dreams were plagued with memories of visions and dirty fantasies that became nightmares when Bobby showed up in that frilly dress that my mind couldn't seem to forget. When that happened, I forced myself to wake up and face my dark, chilly room. I tossed and turned in my bed, trying desperately to go back to sleep, but it was too cold and the house creaked like it was haunted and it all made me feel so lonely…

I got out of bed, grumbling to myself with incoherent words that didn't exactly fit the English language. I left my room and headed down the hall and towards the bathroom. I stopped when I was about to pass Adam's room. Those haunted house noises I'd been hearing seemed to originate from beyond that crack under the door which wasn't securely closed. Everything in my gut said to turn away—it was wrong to spy and I would probably see something I didn't want to know anyway. But my head was too damn curious to listen and told my hand to gently press against the wooden door, ever so slowly pushing it open so that more and more moonlight spilled into the dark hallway. I felt everything go numb at what I saw, and not in the peaceful way it did when I received visions.

Adam…and Castiel. If my stomach had been queasy from the afternoon matinee in the kitchen, it wanted to die at the sight of this. I probably would have if I remembered how. But seeing the two of them locked together in a passionate, almost angry embrace, doing those intimate things, making those suggestive noises…it was almost too much to bear. For the life of me, I couldn't force my feet to move, or anything else in my body. All I could do was pray that it was just a bad dream or another vision that I could hopefully prevent from coming true.

_Who are you kidding?_ Said the voice in the back of my head. I willed it to shut up and let me focus on leaving, but it just kept screaming and screaming and the only part of my body that worked allowed tears to flow past my eyes and my heart to feel petty.

"Things are not always what they seem," said a dreamlike voice in musical tones.

My head finally snapped away from the scene before me and turned to face the newcomer in the hallway beside me. It was a girl, a few inches shorter than me, with a mess of curly black hair and bright blue eyes that glowed inhumanly. Her white gown flowed down to her knees, rippling though there was no wind and she wasn't moving. But that wasn't the worst of it.

"You…" I whispered, horrified.

"Me," she said sweetly, tilting her head to the side. She reached out and placed a gentle hand against my cheek. Her skin was deadly cold.

"What are you doing here?" I said, afraid that the two apparent lovers would hear me.

"You called me," she sighed innocently. "Oh, poor Chucky, you really have no clue, do you?" She giggled lightly in a way I'd only heard in scary movies from the evil children that inevitably go on murder sprees. "I'll tell you everything, but you've got to leave from here so we can talk."

I nodded, discovering that my feet could move again. I stumbled backwards, but ice cold hands were there to steady me. She led me back to my own doorway then stopped.

"Are you going to tell me what you're doing here?" I demanded angrily.

"Sweetie, it's the apocalypse," she giggled. "I come when you need me and that's now more than ever."

"Maybe, but why _now_," I said, the frustration started to build like adrenaline in my veins. "Couldn't you have at least waited until tomorrow or something? Sometime when I can get my answers…"

"What, them?" she asked, motioning towards Adam's bedroom. "Have you totally forgotten all I taught you when your visions started? _Nothing_ in this sad little planet is what it appears, Chucky! Forget what you saw because it is entirely irrelevant. Right now, I need you to concentrate on something much more important."

"The apocalypse?" I guessed, waving my arms around. "Yeah, okay, I get it. The world's ending. But apparently, I'm going to reach paradise, so you can go back to haunting the local mystery spot. Just leave me alone!"

Her face narrowed; an angry, unnatural shadow was cast around her face and I wished I could go hide under my covers. I recognized that look.

"Do you think I would come to you, bow to your every need, if I had a _choice_, prophet?" she growled, sending shivers down my spine. "You show me your respect or I will allow you to die, _alone_ on that spit of a rock, screaming for your precious Winchester to come save you, understand? And don't even try to save yourself without me. Your own death isn't one you can have a vision of and put a band aid on. You know those visions you get while you sleep, how painful they are? Those will seem like pins and needles compared to this."

"Okay, fine, just—" just please stop talking. I already felt terrible enough. "What do you need to tell me?"

She grinned victoriously and swayed side to side as though she were the most innocent child on the planet. "Thank you, darling dearest! Now, somebody wants to kill you; give you that naughty little death."

"What, the Croats?" I asked with a frown. "I guess being torn to shreds would be painful…"

"Not them, silly goose!" she laughed, rapping her knuckles on my skull. "Somebody here! There's somebody here who wants to kill you specifically. And I'll tell ya, this isn't going to be pretty."

"Okay, so how do I stop it?"

"Chucky…" she frowned, confused. "You can't. No matter what you do, that body's expiration date is coming up quickly. What you _can _do is call me in time to watch the show."

"Watch the…" I gaped at her. "But you said I could save myself with your help!"

"Let's face it, love," she sighed, tilting her head. "There's no way you'll be able to concentrate on saving yourself when you'll be too busy mourning your Winchester. You're going to die, I'm going to be free, we all go to the ultimate home happy. Relax, I won't let you go alone. I'll be with you, laughing all along."

"I'd rather you not," I said coldly, trying to glare as best I could. She smiled warmly and stepped right up to me and on her tiptoes so our faces were level.

"So tell me, Chuckles," she whispered. "What does it feel like to go insane?"

I was about to ask her what she was talking about, but then she was blown away by a random gust of wind that blew through the house. I stared at the empty space in front of me, feeling that familiar sense of panic. I backed up against my closed door and slumped to the ground, feeling a terrible weight in my chest pull me down. I couldn't stop the steady flow of tears that fell from my eyes. Everything seemed to be weighing in at once and it was too much for my mind to comprehend all at once.

As if to make matters worse, Adam's bedroom door opened, spilling moonlight out into the hallway. Adam and Cas stumbled out, still clinging to each other, smiling madly. He kissed the angel a few more times before retreating back into the room alone and Castiel pranced back towards his own room, dancing and twirling as he went.

"Nothing is what it appears to be…nothing," I whispered to myself.

I'm gonna be sick.

"You look a little sick, buddy," Adam said, patting my shoulder. I widened my eyes as I woke up, having dozed off at the coffee pot. I looked around the busy kitchen, wondering just how I'd gotten there, then I remembered. I had fallen asleep in the hallway and barely managed to shuffle into the kitchen ten minutes ago. I really needed caffeine.

"Chuck, we need you awake," Bobby called out above the noise of everybody making a breakfast feast. "There's a lot of work to be done today and we need everybody's help. Another supply run, got it?"

"Yeah, yeah," I mumbled, waving my hand to show him. "All's good…all's fine…coffee."

All the breakfast food was set at the dining room table which was over crowded with chairs for the refugees. Almost everyone had already gone to sit down, myself included, coffee in hand. I looked all around at the somewhat smiling faces of the new residents, and everyone who had been with us before, wondering who might be trying to kill me.

Crowley was too lazy to kill me, not to mention, he would surely be separated from his precious Bobby who he couldn't stop staring at as I watched him. Bobby was just Bobby no matter who he decided to make out with on kitchen sinks and would never end an innocent human life. Becky might kill me if I was a sacrifice for some ritual to get Sam back, but I doubted she had the knowledge or the stomach for that kind of thing. Adam was…he was wincing as he gingerly sat down at the table and my stomach lurched.

"You alright there?" Castiel asked with a knowing look on his face. Adam shot him a horrified glare before looking down at his plate of food.

No, Adam wouldn't kill me. Neither would Cas. They're too busy breaking my already fragile little heart. So that left the newcomers. I eyes each of them suspiciously, but I was no better at reading human expressions than Becky. From my Sam and Dean visions I'd learned how to read Winchester expressions, but everybody else was a mystery to me.

I wondered how they could all go about eating their food while there were real live Soap dramas going on right under their noses. There was a secret and frustrating love, a scandalous secret relationship, a crazy prophet who's in on it all, and a Becky who looked like she knew there was something up and that I knew what it was. All we were missing was Dr. Sexy M.D. and a dying, rich relative.

"S'cuse me," I mumbled before getting up to leave the table. I had to back up quite a ways in order to not disturb the people beside me, but I managed and quickly began to walk up to my room.

"Chuck, wait!" I tried to tell myself to ignore it and keep going, but how could I possibly deny an Adam Winchester command? So I stopped and turned around to face the ache in my chest as he caught up to me. "We still need to talk."

"No, actually, we don't," I said, sounding just as weak as I felt. "I understand." I was actually more confused than ever, but I really wanted to get to my room so he wouldn't see me cry.

"What are you talking about?" he asked incredulously. Ouch.

"Don't—" God, please not now! My head reeled with a painful vision wave. "Just don't, Adam."

I began to stumble away, but Adam reached out for my hand. That simple touch sent all the pain away just long enough for me to be able to escape into my room and slam the door behind me. My head pounded against my skull as I fell to the floor and was dragged into that peaceful place where all that mattered was the vision. Except this was not peaceful.

We were in one of the log cabins that Crowley had placed nearer to the house; I could clearly see it through the window. One of the cots had been dragged from where it normally stood against one wall into the center of the room. Gathered around it was Bobby, Adam, and my own body which seemed eerie since I watched from the far corner. But I could feel Adam's fear and panic and knew that he wasn't in hunter mode. This was worse than the kind of fear he'd felt before being replaced by Dean. When I looked down, I saw why.

Lynn was on the cot, screaming bloody murder and clutching her round belly. It must have been the seventeen days later she warned us about. But I was surprised to see that Sami was not present as she had promised to be.

"Lynn, you need to breathe," Adam shouted. I felt it myself as he struggled to remember his medical training.

"Something's wrong," Bobby called out as he loomed over Lynn, probably checking her vitals. I wouldn't know. Adam looked over to check whatever Bobby was seeing and I felt a new fear in his heart.

"Lynn, I know it hurts, but you need to calm down," Adam said slowly. Then I heard the single thought flit through his mind. _The babies are dying._

Then time seemed to slow down. All the commotion became mere background noise as my body looked directly towards the corner from where I watched. I'd seen myself in visions before, but I'd never gotten the timing right to actually send myself a message.

"I didn't do it," he whispered. His face was set in that expression I recognized so much. Fear mixed with a world of guilt. "I didn't hurt them. Lynn _can't _be our Eve. Trust me, it will be okay." But I saw the lie on his face plain as day as he looked back down at the poor woman who let out the worst scream yet.

Then I was torn out of the vision and back into my own head which ached so terribly, I couldn't remember how to cry out for help. As though in an answer to my unspoken prayer, gentle hands lifted me off the ground and placed me on my soft bed. Something warm pressed against my cheek and all the pain suddenly disappeared, leaving me drowsy and happy-feeling. I looked up at Adam who wore the same expression I had seen on my face only moments before. I was much too sleepy to process whatever emotions I might have been feeling, so I just went along with what my body told me to do.

"Don't leave me," I said quietly, latching onto his hand.

The words "Not going anywhere" echoed in my mind as I drifted off to sleep. My dreams were plagued by the memories of all I'd seen lately. All the fears I'd felt swirled into a terrible nightmare that I had to force myself out of. I blearily opened my eyes and saw afternoon sunlight streaming into my room. I look around and saw Adam sitting in a chair at my bedside, our hands still interlocked.

"You stayed," I pointed out stupidly.

"Yeah," he said with a tired smile, sitting up straight. "Like I said…we need to talk."

* * *

_AN/ Woot! How amazing is that? =) Don't worry, I'll work things out between 'em. _

_Um... I was an idiot and got banned from my comp for today. =O I'll try to sneak it to school. If I can't, I WILL update tomorrow... it just might be at like 11 pm at night... =(_

_Reviews are love!_


	10. Chapter 10

**Adam**

When I heard myself say the words, "We need to talk," I sounded a lot more sure of myself than I really was. I hoped that I looked it, then, too.

The day before he hadn't seemed to mind when I had kissed him. He had agreed to talk today. This morning, though, he'd avoided me and all but run away when I tried to talk to him. I hadn't seen him since I'd gone to sleep the night before… unless…

It started to make sense. If what I was thinking was true, then it would explain the look in his eyes when he'd choked out that we didn't have to talk, that he understood. It would explain the hurt look when I'd asked what he meant, because, really, I didn't _know _what had happened to me between about three and seven in the morning.

It also meant that the next time I saw Dean, all that guilt was gone. I was gonna _kill _him.

"What's up?" I asked, breaking the silence. Now that I suspected what it was about, the silence weighed heavily on my heart, making it hard to breathe.

His eyes dropped to the floor, but I hadn't missed the hurt. "I just… I thought… that…"

I figured out quickly that getting a coherent answer would be pretty impossible. Especially if he thought I knew what I'd done- which I didn't, sadly. I had been used to hurt him, somehow, and it hurt. "What happened that changed things?" I asked, trying to word it gently.

And, by the look on his face, failing. It wasn't really even _hurt _anymore, but just pure shock. "You didn't think that…!"

"Chuck! I don't know what I did! It wasn't me doing it, whatever it was! I wouldn't hurt you!" My mind just exploded the words out. There _was _no way to ask without hurting him, so I had to put it out there.

"How can you _not know?" _he asked. He didn't seem angry, just very upset and disappointed. That was even worse.

"I was kind of… possessed." It was really the only description for what had happened.

Whatever excuse Chuck had expected, that wasn't it. His jaw actually dropped. "Possessed? By… what? Demon? Angel?" He was beginning to look horrified. "I had a vision about it and I didn't even think about it after…" He was beginning to look guilty, which almost broke my heart. This wasn't his fault. It wasn't exactly mine either, but I'd take the blame if it meant I could make things right again.

"What was the vision?"

"It was of you, but it _wasn't _you… it was really short and I saw the caves with the people right after and I _forgot!" _

I shrugged, relieved that at least he might believe me now. "It wasn't a demon. And I wouldn't say yes to the angels." I knew he wouldn't say it, but I could feel the unspoken "_you did before"_ hanging in the air between us. "Before was accidental and unintentional." Then I admitted something that I knew I would never tell anyone else, "I was scared."

He nodded, his confusion still evident. "What _was _it then?"

"Dean."

I could see the suspicion come flooding back and I felt it hit me like a punch in the face. "That makes _no sense." _

"I know," I told him, feeling miserable. "But I'm not lying." Maybe I sounded a bit whiney, but I didn't really care. I was starting to feel desperate.

He seemed to cave. "Explain what happened, then."

Glad for the chance I explained everything from the moment I woke up with that headache until now.

"I suppose it makes sense," he finally relented long after I'd finished talking.

I perked up, reminding myself horribly of a puppy. And even worse, I didn't care. How had my whole world come to center around this one person so quickly?

He nodded and gave me a small smile. "I believe you, Adam."

Honestly, in that moment I could have danced, or sung, or otherwise thoroughly embarrassed myself. Luckily, Bobby chose that moment to appear in the doorway of the room. "We're heading out, Adam. We need this supply run and I won't put it off any longer. Get yer asses down to the cars, ya idjits."

"Cars?" Chuck asked. "Plural?"

"Take the Impala," Bobby told me, tossing me the keys. I caught them in shock.

"Really?"

He rolled his eyes. "It's yours."

That shouldn't have made me as happy as it did. If I was a lesser person I would crash it for revenge against Dean, but I loved that car almost as much as he had. It was innocent in this battle- I could never hurt it.

It was _mine. _

Outside Bobby was talking to Jesse and Sami; both had opted to join on this supply run. Becky was allowed back in and receiving instruction as well, though she didn't appear to be listening. Our two newest recruits were listening at attention like good little soldiers.

He handed them each guns and knives. Jesse looked at home with the handgun he'd been given, sticking it instantly in his waistband before wandering over to us. "I guess I'm with you, then," he said. His gaze was a lot less vacant than it had been previously, only slightly empty now.

"How are you?" I asked out of curiosity.

He shrugged. "I'm fine. Settling in and all."

I had a feeling he wasn't going to say much more, but he didn't have time to anyways before a very over excited Becky was telling him to go in the truck instead.

Both girls came with us.

The ride was _really _long and awkward, honestly. I liked Sami, but she was flirting with me constantly. Even if I wasn't in what I suspected was love with someone else, liking her back would make me just a bit of a pedophile.

Becky was excitedly telling her all about The Winchesters, my brothers, and how amazingly sexy they were (if I hadn't been feeling awkward before, this was the part where I began to wish I was deaf) and how they just _had _to come back. As if it was their choice.

When we got to whichever store we were raiding- I didn't really care, so long as I was out of an enclosed space with them- and Bobby advised us to be careful going in.

This one was _crawling _with Croats.

Crowley went off on his own immediately. For the first time ever I popped the trunk of the impala, looking in at the armory inside. Chuck helped me by pointing out which ones Sam preferred, which ones Dean liked, and explaining what all of the amulets and other more random things were used for. In the end I settled on a rifle of some caliber, a few smaller knives for throwing in my pocket, and a large knife to fight with.

By the time we entered the fighting shots were already going off from the guns in Bobby's and Jesse's hands, bright bursts of lit gunpowder momentarily blinding my vision. I took aim as well, firing at the ones headed towards the girls. Sami had opted to fight in a more hand-to-hand combat style, despite the warning that the virus was spread through blood. As in, it wasn't wise to get close to them. She countered Bobby that her aim sucked and she was much better at actually attacking them, and he stormed off telling her that it was her own head and she could do what she wanted with it.

I had to admit, she fought well. She seemed to understand that I was shooting the ones coming at her from behind and the sides and she stayed out of my way. She was naturally graceful and made killing look like a choreographed ballet routine that she'd spent years perfecting.

Chuck was shooting from next to me and I realized that once he calmed down he was actually a good shot. He seemed to be defending Becky- though the poor clueless girl didn't even seem to notice the help- as she skipped along through the aisles, grabbing whatever she thought we might need. In the middle of the apocalypse, that girl was right at home. She'd always scare me, but I had to admire the strength of her insanity as well. It was staggering.

Bobby had left the firing squad now to head for the opposite side of the store from the girls. Jesse emptied the rest of his chamber, re-loaded, and headed off after Sami.

"Which way?" Chuck asked, glancing toward the liquor.

"Right," I told him, watching his expression fall. "But Bobby'll look after you no matter what he says. You'll be fine." He smiled, relieved, and nodded, running in that direction to catch up with Bobby before the Croats could reach him.

Honestly, he was just adorable sometimes.

I ran off after the girls, finding Becky first. "What have you got?" I asked, scanning the area around us slowly. I _did not _appreciate surprise attacks.

She showed me her bag and I had to admit that most of it was useless, at least as far as I was concerned, but she'd thought of a few important things. Baby clothes for Lynn's twins, more clothes in Sami, Lynn, and Jesse's sizes, and other such practicalities that the men, myself included, probably wouldn't have thought of. "Great," I told her, handing her a couple small knives. "Yell if anything attacks." I had a feeling she'd be okay- animals naturally either avoid or _love _crazies, and these things were right about animal level, so she'd probably be fine.

"Okay!" she agreed happily, taking the knives and skipping off once more. Ignorance is bliss, I supposed.

I kept going, every once in a while seeing something that looked important and adding it to the backpack lung over my arm. I finally found Sami in the back. She was cornered and surrounded by about eight of the buggers, still managing to hold her own. I started shooting, taking down seven in the time she took down one, and she grinned at me. "Thanks."

I nodded once. "No problem." I wandered a bit farther from her, towards the electronics section. I saw all the games I would have wanted before any of this had started. I saw a bunch of new games too. It seemed sad really that I would never get the chance to play them- electronics weren't very useful anymore.

I heard a scream and whirled, but something heavy knocked me aside before I had gotten my bearings and I went down. I looked up to see Sami falling, a smarter looking Croat ducking behind a shelf. I pushed myself up onto my knees, looking over at Sami to see a knife protruding from her chest right above her heart. It didn't look good.

"What happened?" But by the time I asked the question I'd already roughly figured it out. The thing had taken an aim at me while my back was turned and she'd pushed me out of the way, taking the fall for me. "Why?" I wondered aloud.

She half laughed, choking on blood. "'Cause I love you."

It wasn't the first time that a girl had told me those words, but I had a feeling that it was the first time any girl had meant it. "I… can't love you. I'm sorry," I told her sadly, honestly meaning it.

"I know," she said, smiling sadly.

I knew that she was dying, and if she'd sacrificed her life for me there was at least one thing I could give her. I leaned over and kissed her gently on the lips for a few moments. When I pulled back she was smiling slightly, her eyes closed. "Thanks," she whispered. After a few more moments the rise and fall of her chest stopped. She didn't take any more gasping breaths.

She was dead.

* * *

_AN/ Hope you liked it. I've now killed off me, my boyfriend, and my favorite beta. =) I'm planning a chapter of fangirls with her in it, though, so if you liked her you can read that update soon. XP _

_Sorry, LMedora. I know you had plans for her. You'll understand why I had to do it. Also, there are loopholes. Jesse's just as useful if you tweak him a little. _

_Reviews are love!_


	11. Chapter 11

**Chuck**

The drive back to the house was mostly silent. Adam drove the Impala with Becky and Jesse in the back seat, each cradling a shopping bag full of the supplies we'd stolen. I sat beside him in the front seat, trying to make believe that the silence didn't scare the crap out of me. Nobody in the car could stop staring at Bobby's truck as it drove just ahead of us. Sami's body was in the bed. Alone except for a few shopping bags and duffels full of weapons. Totally exposed to the world as though to say _I'm dead. What are you going to do about it?_

When we arrived at the house, we loft the body in the truck. We had nowhere to put her until her deathbed was ready anyway. Jesse and Becky couldn't have left the car faster as soon as we parked. I was about to follow suit when Adam stopped me. He waited until everybody had disappeared into the house before he finally spoke.

"How long?" he asked in a thick voice. I saw his cold stare and couldn't convince myself that it wasn't scary.

"What?" I asked quietly.

"How long until paradise?" he clarified. He turned his head towards me and I saw the first tear running down his left cheek. "How much longer are we supposed to sit here and weather out this storm? How many more friends, _innocent people_, are we going to burn in the back yard? Tell me, Chuck. How. Much. Longer."

"I wish I knew," I said, feeling a heaviness on my shoulders. All I wanted was to stop that second tear from falling. "What I _do_ know is that no matter how bad it gets out there, you're safe in here. We're going to lose a lot of people, there's no denying it. But _you_ are going to save a hell of a lot more. When we reach paradise, and we _will_, I promise, it'll all have been worth it."

I couldn't tell if I'd made the problem better or worse. More and more tears fell and all his delicate features quivered.

"She died in my arms," he whispered, taking a shuddering breath. "That light everybody talks about, I saw it leave her eyes. I can still feel the death on me like some kind of disease."

"If it helps, she's in a better place," I offered stupidly. "I remember that there were two times Dean met this reaper named Tessa. That first time, I didn't get much on her. But the second time, she kissed Dean, and just for a moment I was able to catch a glimpse into her head."

"What did you see?" Adam asked, reaching up to wipe away one of his tears. Before I could stop myself, I had wiped away the other one. He smiled slightly before looking down at his hands.

"I thought it was eternity, at fist," I said. "Freakin' scariest vision of my life. I tried for the longest time to forget it, but then Sam and Dean got to keep their memories of dying not too long ago and I saw that it was real. I think the best way to describe it is the life cycle of a soul. Believe me, Adam, wherever Sami is, she's happy."

"I've got to admit, you're a pretty good liar," he chuckled, smiling slightly.

"Well, that just shows that you don't know me…yet," I said. When he looked a little confused, I couldn't help but smiling back. "I've tried lying before…that didn't turn out so well."

"Would it be totally corny if I said that's adorable?" he said, blushing.

"Would it really matter?"

He smiled warmly in a way I hadn't seen in a long time. He reached out and grasped my neck, pulling me closer until our lips touched. It's so unfair that he's able to turn me into jell-o every time he does that. Like nothing else in the world is capable of mattering except for this wonderful creature. But, if that's true, then why did my mind automatically drag up the memory of Adam wrapped around Castiel? My skin crawled as the image refused to go away and that same sick feeling turned over my stomach. I quickly pulled away and backed up into the passenger door.

"What is it?" Adam asked worriedly. "What's wrong?"

"I can't," I whimpered helplessly. "I'm just…not…I'm sorry."

"Hey, I understand," he said, but he couldn't hide the hurt in his face. "I mean, it's my fault for letting Dean take the wheel in the first place. But honestly, Chuck, if I had known—"

"Yeah, I know," I said quickly. "It just may take a while to…you know, forget that I saw you reenacting animal planet with an angel." Adam's eyes snapped shut as he cringed at the thought. It was such a funny face that I couldn't help smiling. "You know, any other lifetime, that image would have been bad enough. I guess it just kinda gets to me because I lo—like you. A lot. I really like you, Adam."

"What did you say?" he asked with a suspicious frown.

"What, animal planet?" I said evasively.

"No, after that," he said, rolling his eyes. He bit his lip in a mischievous grin. "You were gonna say it, weren't you?"

"Say?" I said incredulously. "Say what? I didn't say anything. Nope, nothing at all."

"You know you love me," Adam chuckled, hopping out of the Impala. I quickly stumbled out to follow as he walked up to the porch. Damn his long legs, I could barely keep up!

"Really, I didn't say anything!" I called after him. I made a mess of myself stuttering half-hearted denials as I followed him up the stairs. I didn't even realize he had gone into my room instead of his own until he had me pinned against the closed door.

"You gonna say it again or what?" he asked, his voice presenting more of a challenge than an offer. Both his hands rested on my shoulders, massaging the muscles with expert skill.

"Say…um…what?" I murmured, quickly losing my train of thought.

"You know what," he whispered, kissing the corner of my mouth. "You've been thinking about it, haven't you? Long enough to let it slip…"

"S-so maybe, I mean, what if I have?" I stammered.

"Uh-uh," he said, pulling away just slightly. "You're not going to trick me into saying it first. You learned that from me, didn't you?"

"Not as dishonest as lying…I think," I said. "You know, maybe we should go help out back—"

"What's so hard about it?" he demanded, pulling me away from the door and into the middle of the room.

"It's just…you're _Adam Winchester_," I said, probably adding too much emphasis. "I'd always thought my visions of you were glimpses into heaven, they were so amazing. I guess…what I'm trying to say is…why would you ever return the feeling?"

"Chuck, we've been at least friends since we've met, right?" Adam asked, his face serious and a little offended.

"Yeah," I nodded, thinking back to when it had just been my job to bring him here and be done with him.

"Well, we talk, don't we?" he asked rhetorically, I think. "We stick together. I protect you. You let me help with the visions. I kick Crowley's ass when he picks on you. Why do you think that is?"

"Friends?" I guessed, wanting to shudder at the dreadful word.

"Fair enough," he shrugged, folding his arms over his chest. "So why did I want to kiss the pain away, that morning when you got the vision? Why did I feel the need to make amends for what happened with Dean and Cas? _Friends_ would have just forgotten about it and moved on. So tell me, Chuck, what do you think this is?"

"I-I really don't know," I said, scratching the back of my head. I never had been able to work well under pressure.

"Then why did you kiss me back?" he demanded, his expression becoming angry. "Why did you fight off that one vision so long, and don't tell me you didn't because I _know_ how much they hurt you? Why do you bother giving a damn about me?"

Ugh, he was shouting. The one thing I couldn't stand more than pressure. It was like somebody pressing a 'Give Me Now' button over and over in my head.

"I don't _know_, Adam!" I cried out, just wishing we could both be back on that quiet car ride.

"Chuck, just SAY IT!" he shouted.

"I love you!" I screamed at an embarrassingly high pitch. I took a few steps back, a little afraid that I'd actually said it out loud. Adam just turned his angered expression that had become shock into a victorious smile. "I love you, okay? Is that what you want to hear?"

"All I want…" he said before closing the space I had created between us.

He pulled me up into his arms, kissing me more deeply than ever before. And there goes that jell-o feeling again, like Adam is the only thing capable of keeping me from falling to the floor. If it hadn't been for his arms around me, I probably would have. It was one of those moments that could last forever and neither of us would mind. And like any such moment, it was destined to be ruined. At least Bobby gave us the head start of knocking twice before entering my room.

"Chuck, have you seen—oh." He stopped short, wide-eyed, in my doorway. "Adam…I—we uh, were just looking for you. Bonfire…ready."

"Yeah, I'll be down in a minute, Bobby," Adam said, giving him a knowing look that made the older man flush bright red. He quickly turned heel and walked away. Then Adam turned his attention back to me. "Are you going to watch? It's really just watching the big fire and trying not to think it smells like bacon. You don't have to."

"Yeah, I'd like to continue being able to stomach bacon," I chuckled with a weak smile.

"Then you wait right here," he ordered, stepping towards the door. "It's going to be real sad out there…I'll need something good to look forward to."

He kissed me one last time before he disappeared out my door, leaving me watching and sighing like some love struck schoolboy. Notice how skillfully he avoided saying the three word curse back to me…

"He's cute," said a familiar voice. "Can't decide if he isn't better all naked and sweaty, though. But we all know a little blood is everybody's color."

"Chloe, you wouldn't!" I said, looking towards the corner where she leaned against the wall, seeming to not have a care in the world.

"Oh, Chucky, I would!" she shouted dramatically. She moved away from her corner and walked over to me. As she moved, the door to my bedroom mysteriously slammed shut of its own accord. "Not that it would matter anyway…apparently anyone can go around screwing with fate these days."

"What are you talking about?" I demanded. I could feel the anger boiling inside her like in my visions. Something foreign, something painful, and something poisonous. Already my brain felt like it was cooking on hot embers.

"Sami, you incompetent freak of nature," Chloe spat angrily. The small outburst burned through my skull, forcing me to my knees. "You must have one hell of an archangel on your shoulder, or a demigod, maybe. Something strong enough to screw up everything that I've WAITED for!"

"I don't get it," I whimpered, rocking back and forth, curled up into the fetal position like a crazy person. "Please, just stop yelling!"

"She was supposed to kill you, _moron_!" she hollered, right in my ear just to add to the torture. "Today, just _one day_, could you have not screwed everything up? I have got to be the worst spirit guide in all of existence…everything has led you up to this moment, but then you had to go and jump the tracks, didn't you, prophet?"

"What did I do?" I said innocently, scooting away as her pacing came nearer.

"You became a prophet, that's what!" She finally stopped her pacing and stood with her arms folded, rapidly tapping her foot on the floor. "It's not worth it, they all said. Too complicated for you, they told me. Well nobody mentioned a divine intervention, here!"

"Chloe, I don't know what the hell you're talking about," I said slowly, hopelessly trying to ignore the fire in my brain.

"What, you _want _to know?" she asked, and I felt her anger quell. Her face lit up with a smile to go right along with that creepy giggle. "Why don't I show you, Chuckles?"

All the colors of my room suddenly fell out of place, spilling outside the lines until everything was a complete blur. Then, like a rubber band snapping into place, a whole new scene arrived in front of my eyes.

All around was green, like the purest forest, and cloudy grey skies above. We seemed to be standing atop a giant spike in the center of a gargantuan crater in the Earth. Where we stood there was a flat rock no bigger than the average bathroom, at least two miles above the green surface below. I felt everything I might not have thrown up that day suddenly come to a complete halt in my stomach. I was glad to already have been in the fetal position because I most surely would have lost my balance and fallen. Then again, that might just be my terrible fear of heights talking.

"Where are we?" I screamed, unable to control my volume.

"It doesn't matter," Chloe said, smiling in awe as though we were in the most beautiful location on Earth. "None of your sad little friends will be able to find you here."

"Is this where I die?" I shouted, a whole new kind of fear running through my veins. "Oh, please say I get stabbed, preferably on a more stable surface. Anything but falling!"

"Relax, you're death is much more unceremonious than that," Chloe said, rolling her eyes. She stood back, grinning, and snapped her fingers. At once, a perfect replica of Sami appeared before her; a calm, dead look on her face. Then her expression became one of distress and pain as she walked over and yanked me to my feet.

"You don't understand, Chuck, there's no time to explain!" she cried, tears streaming down her face.

"What's she talking about?" I asked Chloe. "Explain what?"

"I'm just as curious as you," she shrugged.

"Can't you be serious for one second?" Sami screeched, shaking me by the shoulders. "All they said was deliver the gift and be done with it, so here!" Sami grabbed my hand forcefully and held it between us. A strange sensation passed through my palm, like a sudden chill running through my blood, travelling up my arm.

"What is that?" I asked fearfully. "What did you just do?"

"Don't fight it," she said, shaking her head. That defeated look on her face worried me. "It'll all be over soon."

She reached around behind herself and pulled a small gun from her waistband. I instantly recognized it as the same one Bela Talbot had planned to use on Gordon Walker when he came looking for Sam. Any other day, I would have wondered how she got that, but I was kind of distracted by her pointing it at an odd angle, directed towards her head. Before I could stop her, the shot rang out and her brains were flying through the air.

"NO!" I shouted, reaching out as her body fell backwards and off the small rock.

At first I thought I was going to be sick as I peered over the cliff, watching Sami disappear from view. But then a pain so much worse clenched around my stomach. It was as though that cold feeling she had given me suddenly grabbed my insides in a vice grip.

"Chloe," I gasped as the pain increased, wrapping around all the muscles in my chest. "What's…happening?"

"See you on the other side," she giggled before disappearing, leaving me all alone on the rock.

I rolled onto my back, crying out from the sheer agony spreading through my body like a wildfire. My hands clawed at the rock, trying to find something to keep me grounded, but I realized that it was a mistake when my fingernails started falling off. Something hot a liquidy sprayed out of my mouth, tasting metallic. I realized with horror that it was blood.

Adam…the thought temporarily ripped my mind away from the pain, to that place where everything was jell-o. As another throatful of blood worked its way up, I forced myself to concentrate on the name, then on the person.

I was suddenly standing up, looking out at the endless sky. There was no feeling…no pain. I looked down and saw my own body laying on the rock, a heaping, convulsing mass of blood and bile. Whenever it spat something else up, it gargled Adam's name in the saddest pleading tone I'd ever heard.

"Dude, you look like hell."

I turned around and saw Sam standing there, looking down at my body with an uncomfortable expression. It was almost painful to see him look so…Sam. After all, the last vision I'd had of him, he was wearing a pearly white tux, killing innocent people.

"What are you doing here?" I asked, it was strange…my voice sounded like an echo and white noise at the same time.

"Looking for Dean," he said simply. "Chuck, what happened to you?"

"Um, that?" I said, looking back down at the messy thing that was me. "Yeah…I guess she never said it would be a pretty death."

"No," Sam chuckled, smiling in that puppy faced way he does. "I've seen so much death in this form…I'd recognize it."

"Sam, exactly what form are you in?" I asked.

"Out of body experience?" he offered with a shrug. "I've met a lot of people who say that they're currently being possessed by a demon or an angel. They're always following their bodies around, waiting for the opportunity to take back control. I'm just looking for Dean."

"Bobby's house," I said. "I think he hitched a ride with Adam for a while…he may still be there."

"Probably," Sam shrugged. "Well, if you make it out of this, maybe I'll find a way to send a message beyond the veil."

"Yeah, I think Adam would like that," I said thoughtfully. "Just…if you ever try to hitch a ride with me, try not to abuse my body."

"Um…sure," he said, frowning. "See ya."

Sam flickered between existing and not existing before disappearing completely. I turned and looked back down at my body, not sure if I should be feeling sad or disgusted, though I seemed to be capable of neither.

"Adam…" it choked out. "Adam…"

Loneliness…that must be the emotion I was searching for. I watched as my body slowly became still, my skin pale and clammy looking. It was strange…I could hear my heartbeat ringing throughout the crater like it was being shouted for the sake of hearing an echo. It _sounded_ strong and healthy…so why wasn't I moving?

* * *

_AN/ Is it just me, or is that the meanest cliffy ever? Don't worry, I was freaking, then I realized: there is _so much _I can do with that. =) I promise to make it interesting. Reviews are love! _


	12. Chapter 12

**Adam**

The funeral was probably the saddest thing I had ever witnessed in my life. It seemed so unfair that someone so young with such a bright future- even in the Apocalypse she had been surviving well- should die so suddenly. Add in that she had died to save me and it painted a dismal picture that made me especially depressed.

Bobby was being even nicer to me than normal, showing me all that he was doing and explaining why this "salt and burn" ritual was necessary. We hadn't disposed of Jen's remains yet, either, so she was burned right alongside her friend. Jesse didn't talk; he just gazed brokenly at her as she burned away in the flames. His jaw was clenched as well as his fists, the knuckles shining white against his tanned skin. I was sure that I saw tears in his eyes, so I rounded the bonfire and stood at his side. "I am so sorry for your loss." It felt inadequate, but I didn't know what else I could say.

He shook his head, long dark brown bangs falling in front of his eyes. "She was so little and innocent. I was supposed to protect her." He looked up at me with wide, childlike eyes that shone emerald as his tears started to fall. "Why did God take her away?" In the moment I felt so much older than nineteen. My heart ached, because I didn't know what to tell him.

A hand came down on his shoulder and we both flinched in surprise. We looked up at Bobby, startled panic changing into relieved confusion. "God took her away, son, because she _was _so innocent. She was too good for this world and this fight, so he saved her. She'll be safe in heaven instead. It ain't yer fault." Bobby cleared his throat awkwardly, the chick-flick moment seeming to catch up with him. "The fire'll go out on its own, so maybe ya idjits should clean up for dinner?" he suggested, uncomfortably.

Jesse nodded and walked off, saying, "Thanks," so quietly that the crackling of the fire almost drowned it out.

"Did you mean that, all of what you told him?" I asked Bobby curiously. "It was a pretty speech."

Bobby didn't rise to the bait, instead taking my question seriously as I had hoped he would. "I would like to," he told me after a few moments had passed. He looked away from me at the fire where the two fourteen year olds burned. "I sure hope so, Adam."

On that happy note he walked away, leaving me the last person at our makeshift funeral. Both girls were now charred beyond recognition and suddenly feeling sick and horrified I stumbled off as well to puke in the bushes. Done with that I headed back inside, drinking a glass of water before heading back to Chuck's room.

His was almost the last room in the house, so when I got to his room and saw that he wasn't there, I knew that he wasn't anywhere else, either. I looked around, panicking now, but there was no note, no sign of a struggle. We'd been outside, so we'd have seen him try to leave. If he'd driven off, we would have at least heard the noise. Both Crowley and Cas were prowling around downstairs (not in the same rooms, though, as they were still at odds due to the whole demon vs angel debacle), so one of them would have noticed him take off as well.

No, he hadn't left. He was missing.

On top of the rest of my day that fact caused a fear so severe that I fell to my knees, curling from there into a little ball and sobbing. I wasn't proud of it, but I couldn't help it either.

When I was done crying it was starting to get dark outside, the first few stars twinkling happily. I started at them moodily, challenging them _what the hell do you have to be happy about? _I washed my face off with cold water to make sure that my eyes didn't end up puffy before heading down to the table.

Everyone looked up when I entered: Lynn, Bobby, Crowley, Cas, and Jesse. "Chuck's missing," I said, dropping down in one of the two empty places and trying not to stare at the other (between Cas and Crowley, of course) like it was the devil himself.

"What?" Bobby asked, focusing instantly. "What do ya mean?"

"I mean, he's gone."

"Gone like…?"

I felt the resentment growing. "Gone like _he isn't here. _I don't know where he is, but he's missing."

"Maybe he left?" Lynn suggested. I knew that she was trying to be nice, but trying didn't cut it right now.

"He wouldn't leave," I snapped, but watching her face fall I felt guilty. "Sorry. I'm just a bit stressed right now." She gave me a small smile to show that she accepted my apology.

"Well, if he's vanished then there's no use looking for him," Crowley drawled into the silenced after a moment. Bobby, Lynn (that one surprised me), Becky (less surprising, but still a bit sweet as she didn't seem too attached to him and threatened him often), and I glared at him.

"Why not?" I demanded. I was already planning on looking for him, determined to fight my way through whatever was in my path to reach him.

"Well, whatever took him will be of supernatural origin, correct?" Becky, Bobby, and I grudgingly nodded assent. Lynn looked lost and seemed to be searching through the words, waiting for the part that she would understand again. "Then it's not likely we'll find him, is it? He could be anywhere. Aimlessly wandering the world won't help much, will it?"

Becky and I opened our mouths to argue, but Cas spoke first. "He's right." That stopped us both short.

The angel and demon were agreeing. This was serious.

"He could be hurt…?" Becky tried, and that only made me sicker. The food on my plate _really _wasn't looking good. Just to prove to myself that I could I ate some of the spaghetti. My favorite meal, but I really just couldn't enjoy it.

"Doesn't matter," Crowley told her. "He wasn't a fighter, just a prophet." And I was out of my chair, bolting to the sink, puking.

"Oh my…" I heard Lynn say softly from behind me. I could hear Cas laugh bitterly, and I knew he was thinking "now you understand".

When I stopped puking- there wasn't much in my stomach anyways, it was mostly just acid that burned my throat- I leaned my head against the cool sink miserably. I felt a hand on my shoulder and whirled to see Jesse there. "Dude, you okay?" His eyes were wide and surprised.

"Fine, sure," I told him, wiping my mouth on the back of my hand. "I'm gonna go…" I gestured vaguely upstairs and ambled off.

"Should we go after him?" I heard Becky ask, but I guessed that someone had shaken their head because I wasn't followed.

I collapsed on my bed, unable to cry, unable to be sick, and feeling completely lost. I didn't know what to do. Instead of think, I fell asleep where my dreams were full of pain and sadness, uncertainty and failures. When I next woke it was still dark out, but the moon illuminated my room brightly. I slipped out of bed, glad that I was still dressed, and headed off downstairs as quietly as I could. The impala's keys were poking me in my pocket. I made it out the front door when suddenly I was tackled to the ground. "What the-!" I struggled, but the person pinning me was surprisingly strong. In the light from the moon I could see his face. "Jesse?"

"What are you doing, Adam?" he asked sadly, pinning my arms at my side and sitting on my legs so that I didn't have the limbs to fight him.

"I'm going to rescue my friend."

Friend. Had it only been a few hours previously that we'd been debating what we were? We hadn't _really _decided. Was he my boyfriend? I hoped so.

"You heard the demon."

"You trust a _demon _over me?" I felt strangely insulted.

The kid only shrugged. "He made sense." He stood up and gave me a hand as Becky walked over. I felt twice as betrayed.

"Why?" I asked her.

"You're the _last Winchester," _she said, practically orgasming on the last two words. It kinda creeped me out.

I looked away from her, but Jesse was the only other person to look at. He seemed to take this as an opportunity to explain. He ruffled his hair and stuck his right hand in his jeans pocket before speaking. "Look, I don't know who the other Winchesters are, or why they're special, but I know that we can't lose you. You're the only one of our fighters besides Bobby who's worth half a damn! We'd be lost without you. I can't let you just go off and get yourself killed. If not for your sake, then for my own. I've seen the way you look at him, and I get it, you love the dude, but we can't risk you over someone that worthless." Hearing that I was needed should have made me fuzzy inside. It didn't. I felt pissed. He was _not _worthless. He was _amazing _and _perfect _and _adorable _and _not worthless; _so, why couldn't they just see it?

"What'll you do if I try to go?"

"Find Crowley," Becky said sweetly, now swaying back and forth. "We'll tell him to crash the Impala." I was horrified. Crash my baby? I would have still gone for Chuck, but if they crashed my car I would have no way to keep heading after him, so it would be pointless. I sighed angrily.

"Fine, you win!" It came out in an explosive burst of anger. They both flinched away, wary looks crossing their faces.

"Are you-?" Jesse started to ask, but I cut him off.

"Just _leave me the hell alone!" _

I stormed back inside, tossing the keys on the kitchen table and slamming my fist into the wall. Crowley passed by the doorway, looked in at me, and then ducked his head and continued on. I wasn't sure why, but I sensed a bit of a guilty feeling coming from him. He was a demon- wasn't he supposed to be the incarnate of evil? Why was this one going soft?

I kicked out at the table, connecting solidly and not really hurting my foot much (thank you soccer), watching happily as it bumped against the wall. The wood groaned and I smirked at it. Yes, making intimate objects feel my pain was slightly crazy. I was feeling slightly crazy.

My eyes wandered the room and landed on the liquor cabinet. Drowning my sorrows sounded fitting right now. I crossed over to Bobby's precious store and stole a bottle of JD. Before they had always seemed too big, packing in excessive amounts of alcohol. I stared at it now, wondering how it had gotten to looking so small. I quickly grabbed another and tucked a bottle of stronger whiskey under my arm, headed back to my room.

I quickly got drunk, but I kept going, drinking through the two bottles of JD and half the whiskey before I passed out asleep. I woke up the next morning only to puke, crawl to the bathroom, puke again, and sleep on the bathroom floor. That day was a miserable mess of drunken hangover, and I hated it.

That night I started to remember all the reasons I'd gotten drunk in the first place. I snuck down, got a few more bottles, and repeated the process. I woke up late the next afternoon on the bathroom floor and stumbled downstairs. I came face to face with Cas who gazed at me intently. "You look terrible."

I yawned and shrugged. "Takes one to know one," I retorted. He cocked his head, considering before nodding that he'd understood.  
"I suppose," he agreed. "There's food in there. You may want to stay sober long enough to keep some food down- you haven't eaten since morning two days ago." My stomach growled on cue and I nodded my thanks to him. He continued on up the stairs.

Lynn was sitting at the table in the kitchen, coffee in hand, staring at the table. "Good afternoon, Adam," she said politely, watching me carefully.

"'Morning," I mumbled. I spooned some spaghetti (again?) into a bowl and sat down across from her with a cup of coffee for myself. "How are things?"

"Fine," she said calmly. "Are you alright, Adam?"

Her tone surprised me. I remembered it from teachers all those years, always asking me if I was okay at home and such. They had worried about how mom and I got by. I hadn't. It was Lynn's teacher voice, however, that registered and had me, for once, spilling. "Not really."

She nodded. "I suppose I expected as much. Would you like to talk about it?"

I sighed and shook my head. She waited patiently as if knowing that I didn't mean that. "It's just… I think I love him. And he's gone. And they won't let me go after him. I feel helpless, and useless, and confused, and I _hate _it. I want to help." My hand was fisted against the cup of coffee.

She reached out and placed a hand over mine. I looked up and met her calm, understanding amber eyes. "It will all work out, Adam. I promise."

"How can you promise that?"

She shrugged. "It's a feeling I have. Mine are rarely ever wrong. Just have faith a bit longer."

Huh. _Faith. _After the angels I didn't have much of that. "I guess."

She smiled, hearing the doubt in my tone. "If it helps, I'm sure he loved you too."

"He did," I told her, feeling worse. I'd never said it. Why hadn't I? I suppose I'd been too distracted, kissing him and all… but now I wished I had.

Too late.

"Then he'll find his way back to you, won't he?" She seemed to feel that her point was proven as she stood up and walked over to the sink, rinsing her cup out and putting it away. "Anything is possible in this world."

I wished that I could believe her. Instead I ate my spaghetti and meatballs in silence, rinsing my empty plate when I was done and putting it too away. I stared longingly at the liquor cabinet but took Cas' advice- after all, he'd know best- and grabbed my coffee. I headed up to my room, lying back down. Honestly, being hungover took all of the energy out of me. The last thing I remembered was staring distantly at the coffee on my bedside table, wondering if it would stain the wood if I left it there and didn't put a paper under it.

The next time I woke up my head was in blinding pain again. "What the fuck?"

_Language, _a voice in my head chided half-heartedly. My mind instantly leapt to attention, ignoring the pain.

_**Chuck? **_It was his mind, definitely. It was so unlike having Dean in my head- his mind had been very similar to mine, not feeling as completely foreign. Chuck was an entirely different kind of a person. He was shy and awkward and cute; I loved his mind just as much as I loved him…. I shut that thought down quickly, hoping he hadn't heard.

He hadn't. _Hello, Adam, _he said kind of hesitantly.

I sat back against the wall, putting my head in my hands. God, sharing my brain hurt. There just wasn't enough _space _in it for multiple people.

_How did you get in my mind? _I asked. Standard questions first. I'd leave the slightly more hysterical "where the hell did you go/ why did you leave me" for later.

_I'm sorry, _he mentally whispered, catching the end of that train of thought. _I didn't mean to. It was… _He trailed off, seeming a bit hesitant.

_Please? _I asked gently. _You can trust me? _

I could feel him mentally sigh. Again, weird, because my mind knew exactly what if would look like for him to really sigh. It was easy to almost picture him there with me instead of just in my head. _It was Chloe. _

_Who's… Chloe? _

He gave me a memory explanation instead of a spoken one. I saw the first confrontations of her, then the latest one. I watched the entire scene play out.

_So… you're dead? _I asked to clarify.

_Don't think so, _he told me. _I could still hear my heart beating. I think I'm… suspended. Here. Stuck half-alive, maybe? _

My whole mind paused for a moment. _Dude, that has _got _to suck!_

He half laughed. _Yeah. You could say that. I spent the last couple days figuring out how to get back to you. I figured, you know, if Dean could do it… _I head twinged again and I could feel him mentally wince. _Sorry that it hurts. I just… I missed you. _It would have sounded lame if I hadn't missed him just as much, needed him just as much.

_It's fine. Very worth it. _I glanced out the window to check the time. The sun had risen, so it was morning, maybe around seven. _Should we tell them? _

He mentally shrugged. _Sure. Maybe they can fix this. I suppose you __**don't **__want me living in your head forever?_

I considered that. _It's better than losing you forever. _

_Really? _His tone was all hopeful and… cute.

_Really. Come on. _Which was rhetorical, really, because he couldn't really help but go wherever I went. Unless I gave him control. Somehow, though, we both knew he wouldn't ask. Not after what had happened last time.

Downstairs only half of the people were at the table: Crowley, Bobby, and Jesse. Becky, Lynn, and Cas were presumably still asleep. I felt Bobby's eyes staring at me. "You look… better, Adam."

_Better? _Chuck asked mentally, worried. I didn't mean to let it, but my mind flashed back over my two drunken and hung over days. _I'm a bad influence… _he complained sadly. The worry was sweet, but I didn't want him feeling bad.

_No, I think I would have done it anyways. _Truthfully, I probably would have. College alone was a bad influence.

I sat down at the table with my plate of eggs and cup of coffee, wincing as my head felt like it was shot through with an arrow. I took a sip of coffee to counter it. "Are you okay?" Jesse asked. He wouldn't meet my eyes; he looked like he felt guilty for my previous downward spiral.

I nodded before looking up at Bobby. "Chuck is back."

"Back…?" he seemed confused. I didn't blame him.

"Um… back like, a spirit in my head."

I was getting strange looks from Bobby and Jesse, who then exchanged an even stranger look. _That means they think you're crazy, _Chuck said, sounding resigned. _I've gotten the look aimed at me quite a few times. _

"I'm not insane," I told them petulantly. "It's not like it hasn't happened before."

"What do ya mean?" Bobby asked.

I noticed that Crowley didn't seem to particularly care about this conversation. Pity, he was probably one person who could help my case. "I've had Dean in here before."

"You didn't _mention _this?" He sounded torn between worry over my alleged insanity and anger that I'd kept important info about one of his surrogate sons quiet.

"I was a bit traumatized."

Bobby's eyes widened. "What?" His tone was full of disbelief. "What could he have done?"

I rolled my eyes, not in the mood to relive this. "Taken over. And… done things…" I winced.

"He is telling the truth," Cas said from the doorway.

"And _how _would you know?"

Cas shrugged, taking only a cup of coffee. "I saw him. As Dean. Here, as a matter of fact." He turned to me. "Where was this conversation headed?"  
I sighed, still a bit tetchy with him over the whole loss of purity, potentially raped depending on how you look at it, issue. "Chuck's back. Only…"

Cas nodded, pointing at my head. "In there."

"Exactly."

"So then we just have to get him back to his body."

"That's problematic," I told him. Chuck was watching this all play out, keeping commentary to himself. "He's kinda of… somewhat dead."

"How can you be 'kind of somewhat dead'?" Jesse asked. "Aren't you either dead or not dead?"

I shrugged. "I would have thought so too." I saw Crowley's eyes light up and noticed that he was now listening to our conversation.

"What shall we do, then?" Cas mused. "Do we know where his body is?"

"Um…" I nudged Chuck mentally.

_Hm… Arizona? Tibet? Mars? _he guessed at random. _Sorry. Chloe wasn't really… expecting me to live long enough to need this info. _

_Yeah… _I shuddered. Chloe.

"No, we don't."

"Well, then, I guess we should research. What did the place look like?" Bobby asked, grudgingly taking this seriously.

"Desert, a crater, stormy skies but that was two days ago," I listed off from my memory of his memory.

"How do we get him back in his body?" Cas asked.

Bobby sighed. "We'll look for that too."

Crowley began to laugh. "Seriously?

"What?" I asked, looking up at him. He'd gone from amused with the conversation to tolerantly disdainful, but still amused.

"Really? I mean, I can understand the teenager, he's new to this, and _maybe _you too-" aimed at me- "but Bobby? Castiel? Even _Chuck?" _

I nudged him, but Chuck was just as clueless as I was. "Um… what?" I asked.

"Demon," he specified, pointing at himself. We all stared at him blankly. "_Crossroads _demon?" he specified. "I make _deals?" _

My mind lit up. Chuck's became very frightened. Bobby was already glaring furiously at me and Jesse looked puzzled. Cas just sipped his coffee, staring at the table and refusing to get into this one. He _did _owe me that, after all, and I could tell that he was trying to make amends by siding with me.

_No, Adam! _Chuck was mentally glaring at me. _You can't sell your soul. _

"Adam…" Bobby said, his tone warning.

"What is it?" Jesse asked, confused.

"I collect souls," Crowley told him. "Generally, the demon sends those souls to Hell to be tortured into one of us- a demon- when they die, but… I'm just collecting right now." Jesse had paled at the mention of Hell.

"Don't, Adam!" he said, and Crowley rolled his eyes.

"Oh, the drama!" he exclaimed. "Aren't you humans just so high and mighty? Is one soul that important?"

I considered. It depended on the soul and the eye of the beholder. I knew that if I had Chuck's soul I would keep it protected forever, never letting it get anywhere _near _a demon. But my own?

"What do I have to do to make this deal?" I asked slowly.

"Idjit!" Bobby muttered angrily, striding off. "Thick headed Winchester…"

_Is that a complement? _I wondered (aloud?) in my mind.

_Yes, _Chuck assured me, _it means he loves you. Please, Adam, don't? _

He was begging. I felt horrible for this, but… I had to.

"How do I do it?"

Jesse was watching me with horror, so I avoided his gaze, looking instead directly at Crowley. "Well, we agree on the terms of the deal- your boy's body all fixed up, here, and him restored inside it in exchange for your soul, per se- and then we kiss to seal it."

My jaw dropped. Literally. "Um… kiss?"

Crowley rolled his eyes. "Thick-headed Winchester boys," he said, sounding amused nonetheless. "I tell you that you are giving your soul to a demon, who may give it back or may send it to Hell upon your death, and you are worried about a _kiss?" _

"Well, um, yeah. I kinda… have a boyfriend."

"Relax," Crowley said. "You'll have your precious boyfriend back soon enough. Do you agree to the terms?"

I was about to say yes when Chuck stopped me. _Ask him what he plans to do with your soul. _

"What will you do with my soul?" I relented.

"Give it back," Crowley told me lazily. "I can't be bothered to look after it. The prophet's interesting. The drama will keep me entertained."

_That's the best you'll get, _Chuck relented. I could feel that he wanted to tell me not to, but he knew better. Deep down, he wanted his own body back. He didn't want it this way, but he would just have to trust me.

"I agree to the terms of the deal," I said slowly.

Crowley crossed the room, kissing me. I wanted to choke, gag, anything to get him away, but luckily he seemed to feel the same. He stepped away just as quickly, wiping a hand across his mouth. "Done," he said, walking off. "I'll give you back your soul tomorrow."

Jesse had disappeared, I noticed. In a moment I didn't notice anything except the body that had appeared on the floor in front of me. Tattered and blood stained but breathing regularly, I knelt beside it. "Chuck?" I shook his shoulder gently.

Chuck's brown eyes blinked open and he looked up at me, confused and disoriented. "Adam?" A smile spread over his face. "It worked?"

I reached down and hugged him close, feeling like I never wanted to let him go again. I wanted to keep him forever- keep him safe and happy and…. I had never felt anything this strong, so I hadn't meant to say them when the words came out, but I didn't regret them at all: "I love you."

* * *

_AN/ I wanted him to say it at the end. Hope you liked it, it was kinda... not hard to write, just complicated and simple all at once. _

_I'm not going to be in town (aka, at comp w/ internet access) until Sunday night. I'll update my chapter then. I've given Laura my account info, so she'll update for me tomorrow. ^.^ Reviews are love! _


	13. Chapter 13

I was alive, or fixed, I should say. There was no more pain in my body and I felt all my muscles flex experimentally then relax, testing their new life. There was blood pumping through my veins, my heartbeat wasn't pounding in my ears, and my skin seemed to feel more alive than before, like minty gum.

"Chuck?" The word was soft, repeating in my mind over and over until it faded away. Not that I minded the eerie sensation—I could listen to that voice for an eternity.

"Adam?" I mumbled, finding that I could use my voice for something other than screaming again. I blinked my eyes open which took a lot more work since they felt all sticky and strange. "It worked?"

I felt his warm body hug onto me and my skin buzzed like that feeling of stepping directly from a cold pool into a hot tub. I wondered if that was supposed to be normal. But then everything was made better when he whispered "I love you" right into my ear, making my skin tingle for a completely different reason. His arms wrapped around my torso and gently lifted me into a sitting position that made my stomach roll.

"Adam, I—oh, crap…" He must have seen me turn green or something because a moment later, he had dragged my body over to the kitchen sink just in time for me to puke.

"Crowley, is something wrong?" I heard him shout. "I thought you fixed him!"

"Adam," I gasped when my stomach calmed down for a moment. "J-just and aftershock. Fine…all's fine, really."

I turned on the sink faucet and rinsed away what I had thrown up. I didn't think that taste would be easily forgotten. Adam placed a hand on my cheek and forced me to face him. He examined everything that I couldn't see, obviously not convinced that I was working properly.

"Oh, Chuck," he whispered mournfully. "What happened to you?"

"You know as much as I do," I scoffed, straightening up. I was glad to find that it didn't affect my stomach.

"We can save the big questions for later," he said with a reassuring smile. "You want a drink? I could really use a drink. How's whiskey?"

"No, I'm good," I shrugged, moving to sit at the table where Cas was watching with interest at the scene laid before him.

"What about the headache?" Adam asked. "I thought it would be killing you by now…again."

"No," I said with a confused frown. "That's a new one…no headache at all."

"You sure you're feeling…normal?" Adam asked worriedly, kneeling in front of me. "Don't think I don't know about Sam coming back different than he was before."

"Trust me," I said, attempting a smile. "If there's anything different about me, you can blame Chloe, not Crowley, for once."

"Chloe?" Castiel said with a thoughtful frown. "Your old babysitter?"

"Yeah…" I said slowly, narrowing my eyes at him. "How did you know?"

"Whenever any of my brothers or sisters had a chance, they would spy on the prophet of the century," Cas said as though he was talking about watching television. "You made for much entertainment in heaven. I myself caught a glimpse now and then. But Chloe was mortal, how could she be to blame?"

"Apparently I'm going crazy," I nodded. "Or she's a spirit guide…I haven't figured it out yet. But whatever it is, it's wearing her face."

"I would go with spirit guide," Cas nodded, staring off in thought. "They are one of God's many unexplained mysteries…not that he's ever felt the need to explain _anything_ before. But if you do have a spirit guide, why would it lead you to your death?"

"Maybe…we should save these questions for later," Adam cut in, probably seeing my face show signs of stress. I looked up at him and nodded thankfully. He pulled me to my feet and led me out of the kitchen. "Let's get you into some clean clothes; a hot bath, too. Man, you're _freezing_!"

"Really?" I said. "I thought that was just me…"

He laughed softly and pulled me upstairs and into the bathroom.

"I'll go get some of your clothes," Adam said. Then he cringed and held up a finger. "Might take a while, though. When I'm drunk and…kinda emotional, I get a little crazy."

"Crazy?" I asked. "Like how?"

"Like build a shrine of all your things crazy?" he said, offering a shy smile. He quickly left, closing the door behind him.

I ran the tub full of hot water until it was steaming, then poured in half a bottle of bubble bath, not wanting to think on why Bobby would have bubble bath. When the door made a clicking noise, I hurriedly jumped into the tub just before Adam walked in, carrying a pile of clothes. I tried to ignore how my skin crawled with that same hot vs. cold feeling that seemed to not want to go away.

"I brought one of your notebooks," Adam announced, sitting on the closed toilet seat after setting everything down on the counter. "Just in case you get a random headache…safety net and all."

"Thanks," I said. "But really, no headache. Like all my prophet powers suddenly disappeared or something."

"Chuck, seriously?" Adam said, raising an eyebrow. "Prophet powers?"

"What?" I said defensively. "I thought it sounded kinda comic book epic…"

"Just sound it out for me," he said, looking me in the eye as though there was something wrong with me. "Prophet…Powers."

"Okay, a little lame," I admitted with a weak smile. "But still, I feel kinda normal. You know, before that thing with Sami's face…did that to me, she said she was giving me a gift. Maybe this is it. No more powers."

"She tried to kill you," Adam said. I could see the anger on his face, plain as day. "How is that a gift to anybody?"

"Well, Chloe's got this twisted sense of destiny," I shrugged. "Maybe she knew you would bring me back."

"Well, I'd like to give her a piece of my mind," he growled. I saw his hands clench into fists, his knuckles quickly turning white. I reached out and covered his hands with my own and smiled up at him.

"You are very manly with your vengeful ways," I joked. He laughed and unclenched his fists so he could hold my hand.

"Sorry, it's just…the thought of you dying, for real…it scared me," he said quietly, looking off into the distance. "I've never felt so terrified in all my life. Except, maybe when I was being eaten alive by a ghoul, but…you get it."

I cringed and shivered, remembering the vision of him being killed in such a terrible way. On cue, my brain tickled in a strangely, like there was something it wanted to tell me. My vision suddenly went blurry, like a film being placed over my eyes.

"Chuck?" Adam said worriedly, gripping my hand tightly. "Chuck, wake up!"

"I'm awake," I said, frowning. "Something's…weird."

"Dude, your eyes are dead," he said, a quiver in his voice.

I was suddenly ripped into my vision world, the back yard. There was a small structure made of wood in the form of a bed and everybody was gathered around it, a few people I didn't even recognize. A body covered by a white cloth lay on top of it all. By the form, I saw that it was a woman. Maybe it was a backwards vision of the past…

"Chuck, what's happening?" Adam's voice was so small, just in the back of my mind like a second conscience.

"It's a funeral," I said, though when the words came out my mouth, it felt like just another thought in my mind. I barely even registered that my body existed anywhere other than the vision. "I think it's Sami's. Why would I have a vision of the past?"

"How many bodies are there?" he asked.

"Just the one," I replied, shifting my angle of the vision to get a view of the whole scene.

"Then that's not it," he said. "We burned Jen that day, too."

"It's been a sad time for all of us…" Vision Bobby said. I repeated the words to Adam and barely heard the shuffle as he began writing in my notebook for me. "We try to survive…God knows we've tried. But we can't all be so fortunate. Our small excuse for a family may have grown over the past few days, but…we've lost another who deserved to live, may she rest in peace."

He held up a small box, striking a match against it before throwing the small flame at the structure. It instantly was set ablaze, the flames licking at the sky. Then it all disappeared and I was back in the bathroom where Adam was scribbling away at my notebook.

"Well, that was extremely uncomfortable," I mumbled.

"How's your head?" Adam asked, looking up from the paper.

"Fine," I said, my confusion growing. "Maybe that was the gift Sami was talking about. Won't it be nice? No more pain…"

"Kinda makes you wonder, though, doesn't it," Adam said thoughtfully. "Who could have possibly sent her with something so powerful? How could they convince her to commit suicide?"

"It could be someone dangerous," I shrugged, considering the possibilities. "Or it could be Michael's way of sending a fruit basket. We can ask Cas and Crowley later. But now I'm all pruney…" I held up my hands to show him my wrinkled fingers. He chuckled and went to grab a towel from one of the cupboards.

As I stood up, he wrapped the towel around me. I didn't miss how he promptly kept his eyes forward, a pink blush rising to his cheeks. Once I was completely out of the tub, he pulled me into his arms and held me close.

"I missed you," he whispered into my ear. "So much…"

"It won't happen again," I promised. "At least I hope not, because that really hurt."

"I'm sorry I wasn't there to stop her," he sighed. "I just feel so angry every time I think about it."

"All in the past," I said. "She's gone for now. And I'm not leaving your side."

I felt his smile against my neck as he pulled me closer to him. "Did I ever manage to say how much I love you?"

My heart fluttered wildly at the thought. "Not _technically_," I said teasingly.

"Well, I do," he confirmed. "More than anybody in this house…more than my car…differently than my brothers…more than anything I can think of. It's all you, Chuck."

He punctuated each word with a kiss to my neck and then reached my lips, melting me in his arms. He pulled away, gently tugging on my lip with his teeth.

"How is it possible you're _still_ cold?" he said quietly.

"Near death side effect?" I guessed, unable to think more deeply into it when my mind was just mere breaths away from my lips. He grinned and chuckled.

"You taste all minty," he pointed out. Then he leaned down to recapture me, showing no sign of letting go anytime soon.

Adam fell asleep in my room that night. In my bed. Heaven, right? But I couldn't sleep. My mind was fully awake, plagued with odd visions. I knew what they were telling me to do. Adam would probably be pissed if he found out what I'd been following them all day. But I'd been placed on a mission. He wouldn't listen long enough to understand until the deed was done. It's just the Winchester way.

I got out of bed, careful not to wake Adam, and left the room. I managed to slip out of the house after only passing Crowley who didn't care enough to do anything other than roll his eyes and continue on his way. Then I went over to the nearest cabin and went inside. It was pretty basic—one sink above a row of counters, a shelf, a closet, and a few personal decorations. There was one bed in the center of the room, and there she lay. My mission.

"What are you going to do?" Dean asked suspiciously. It surprised me to see him leaning casually against the wall, eyeing me suspiciously the way he'd done since the day he found me. Crazy…right. Hallucinations are just a party favor.

"I'm going to save her life and destroy her children," I sighed heavily.

"Just another day in the life of Carver Edlund," he chuckled, shaking his head. "By the way, you're not crazy _yet._ You decided on spirit guide, remember?"

"You're…Chloe?" I said slowly. He nodded, settling an undeniable discomfort in my gut. "Well, I'd prefer you being in my head more than her any day. She was always an evil babysitter."

"Hey, same person over here," he said with mock defensiveness. "Just a new face. I can be anybody you want me to be, so long as you've got them in your memory and that was _totally_ not meant to be kinky. Anyway, you're avoiding the main issue here. You know something's not right with this plan."

"But the visions say it's got to be the mother," I said, looking back down at Lynn. "They keep running through my mind like instructions, or a recipe. It says I've got to give it to the decided Eve. So it's got to be Lynn, right? She's the only mother here."

"Oh, Sami," Dean chuckled, shaking his head. It was strange hearing him say the name when not referring to Sam. "That's part of the gift she gave you. The roadmap to your own destiny. But you should trust yourself. Vision-you knew that this was a bad idea, so just go along with it."

"Dean, I think I would know it if I was lying to myself, which I was," I said, pacing the room as I tried to think. It was difficult trying to decide exactly what I had seen during that vision, it was all so confusing.

"She was giving birth," Dean shrugged, glancing at Lynn. "You were freaking out. How would you have been able to control your face?"

"I just…" I ran a hand through my hair as the stress piled up in my mind. "What if she's the only chance we've got?" I pursed my lips and reached into my pocket, pulling out a small vile full of dark, silver liquid.

"Is that it?" Dean asked curiously, tilting his head.

"Yup," I nodded. "The essence of an angel, demon, prophet, Winchester, and human. They all thought I was a little crazy, going around and plucking out their hair. Strange how fate would put all the ingredients under one roof. Wait…that's gotta mean Lynn was given to us for a reason, right? So it _could_ be her."

"You know how it works and what you need to do, so save it for a rainy day," Dean suggested. "You're going to be bringing back a lot more refugees, right? One of them's bound to get pregnant sooner or later or at least be pregnant already. Maybe you'll luck out and get a volunteer."

"It's a lot more painless if they're already pregnant," I sighed. Lynn suddenly whimpered loudly and clutched her round belly. "What's happening?"

"It's time," Dean said. "13 days early, but who's counting? You better go get baby brother. This isn't gonna be pretty."

I nodded and left the cabin, running back to the house. I burst through the door, earning a startled complaint from Crowley as I flew by him. Then I darted upstairs and stopped once I reached my room, bursting through the door.

"Adam!" I shouted, startling him awake. "It's Lynn; the babies are coming!"

He was instantly on his feet, following me as I made my way back towards the stairs. The whole time, I shouted the newest update at the top of my lungs so that nobody was left out. Bobby, Becky, and Cas quickly joined us as we stumbled down the stairs and ran out of the house. From there, we heard Lynn's distressed cries of pain coming from her cabin.

"What's happening?" Jesse asked, running out of his own cabin, pulling a tee shirt over his head.

"Baby time," Crowley said, appearing at the door just ahead of us.

Four hours, Lynn was in labor. The whole time she clung to Becky, probably since she was the only girl, but I was surprised to see that my caretaker actually possessed some form of human relations skills. She got Lynn to take her mind off the pain, since we didn't have proper painkillers, and kept her breathing as Adam instructed. The rest of us mostly stood back and let them work, occasionally offering words of encouragement. It was around five in the morning when I went over to the corner of the cabin where Cas and Crowley stood.

"Now, it really must be the apocalypse," I said, frowning at them. "An angel and a demon conversing normally. What's wrong with this picture?"

"Strange, you can't sense it," Castiel said, narrowing his eyes at me. "Something is going on here."

"Of course I can sense it," I mumbled in low tones. I bent my head so that I could speak and only the two of them could hear me. "Ever since…coming back, things have been different. I don't get it at all. What's going on?"

"Call it a moment of prophecy," Crowley said. I held my tongue on the subject, but I could have sworn that the demon was angry about something. Well, more angry than usual. "Everyone can sense it when one comes around."

"Except humans," Castiel cut in, nodding slowly.

"Hey," I snapped defensively.

"It's one of those things like you can feel that everything is about to change," Crowley continued, ignoring the disturbance. "The angel can be orgasmic about it all he wants, but I'm on the opposite end of the spectrum, here. Something big is about to go down."

"Hmm…for me, it's a kind of…hopefulness," Castiel said speculatively, tapping his chin. "Like we are about to be blessed."

"A curse if I ever heard of one," Crowley muttered.

"I'd like to go with Cas's perspective," giving Crowley an apologetic shrug. "I mean, kids are supposed to be a blessing right?"

At that moment, Lynn let out a piercing screech, echoed by Becky who was delicately attempting to remove her hand from the mother's vice grip.

"Alright, everybody out," Adam ordered, waving his hands towards the door. "Go wait outside; give the lady her privacy. Shoo!"

Crowley rolled his eyes as he and Cas took their leave, quickly followed by Jesse. I was about to join them when Adam suddenly grabbed my shoulder.

"I'm gonna need somebody to work the sink and towels for me," Adam said. I saw the absolute terror in his eyes like the one he got in sixth grade before presenting his first big report. Stage fright on steroids, I called it. "I need you to stay here, Chuck. Please?"

I nodded, placing a hand on his cheek. "You'll be fine. Those kids will be…just fine."

He smiled at me before turning back to Lynn. I went to go stand at her side and hold her hand as she effortlessly crushed it. Then it happened. That scream of bloody murder that had been playing in my head for the longest time. I looked over at Adam who was looked like he was trying to remember his medical training.

"Lynn, you need to breathe," he shouted over her screams.

"Something's wrong," Bobby said on cue. Adam leaned over to check what Bobby was seeing.

"Lynn, I know it hurts, but you need to calm down," he said slowly, and I knew at that moment he was realizing that the twins were dying.

I looked up at that empty corner of the cabin from where I had watched this all play out. The timing was perfect for once and I couldn't help but wonder what would happen if I didn't say it. Would it work like a time machine and change the past? Or would merely thinking it be enough to get the message across?

"I didn't do it," I found myself whispering. Maybe past-me wouldn't be able to hear it…I knew that was wrong even before I finished the thought. "I didn't hurt them. Lynn can't be our Eve. Trust me, it will be okay."

Lynn suddenly screamed again, louder than before, and gripped my hand even more tightly, causing me to wince. So that had been my lying face…

Adam cautiously held up the first child, a boy, and Bobby cut the umbilical cord. I gasped with horror as I watched the baby gasping for air, his tiny features scrunched painfully, that small body spasming just like mine had done before almost dying. Then he took a deep breath and began to cry, high pitched and piercing. Adam handed the baby to me and I went over to the sink, cradling him.

"Was that supposed to happen?" I asked and I cleaned the baby with a wet towel.

"Hell no," Bobby muttered before turning his attention back to Lynn.

I finished cleaning the baby and wrapped him up in a dry blanket. "Hey, Cas!" I called out. The angel poked his head through the door, purposefully avoiding looking at Lynn. "Mind giving me a hand?" He nodded and walked over to me, gently taking the small bundle into his arms with expert care.

The second baby, another boy, went through the same scare routine as his brother before finally crying, letting us know he was alright. As I cleaned off the second one, I noticed that Lynn's screaming had ceased so the only noise was running water and crying babies.

"It's too late," Bobby said quietly.

"No, it's not!" Adam shouted angrily. "We can still save her!"

"We ain't surgeons, boy!" Bobby said, sharing Adam's temper. "We haven't got the proper medical supplies or the training for it. I'm sorry but Lynn's dead. We can't save this one."

I ground my teeth together, trying not to listen and failing miserably. I finished wrapping up the second twin and turned around in time to see Adam covering Lynn's still body with a white sheet. Adam finished and walked over to the sink to get cleaned up. Becky, Crowley, and Jesse entered the cabin slowly, looking all around.

"Oh, Lynn…" Becky whispered, covering her horrified expression with a hand as tears welled up in her eyes.

"Becks, look at me," Adam ordered, his voice calm like it was when he was in hunter mode. "I need you to go to the kitchen and dig up that baby formula you got on the raid, okay? Can you do that?"

She nodded and ran out of the cabin just before we heard her begin to sob from outside.

"I'd better go help her," Jesse said, taking a shuddering breath.

Adam finished cleaning himself up and sat down on the counter beside me as I cradled the baby. He leaned his head on my shoulder and sighed heavily.

"Well…would you look at that," Crowley said quietly, peering over Castiel's shoulder. It was then that I noticed how oddly Cas was staring at the baby in his arms, and the way tears were welling up in his eyes.

"God truly works in mysterious ways," the angel whispered, seeming unable to find his voice.

"What are you talking about?" Adam asked tiredly, not moving his head from my shoulder.

"The Winchesters are reborn," Crowley muttered, walking around the room as though he had a lot going on in that tiny mind of his. It was then that Adam lifted his head.

"You mind saying that for us…_one more time_?" Bobby whispered harshly, glaring at the demon. Castiel looked up at me and I saw the strangest look in his eyes, torn between love and despair.

"The prophecy moment we were sensing," he said. "It was Sam and Dean. They were in here with us, waiting to claim their new bodies."

"Hold on," Adam said, sliding off the counter. "You mean to tell me that my brothers are trapped in the bodies of newborns?"

"Not trapped," Crowley said loudly. "Those fragile little things belong to them just as much as the vessels once did."

"Fate," Castiel shrugged, looking back down at the baby. "They were meant to be born this way."

I looked down at the baby in my arms just as his little eyes flew open showing the bluest of irises I'd ever seen. Sam's eyes. I nudged Adam and motioned for him to take the baby, which he did.

"Castiel, you mind explaining to us exactly what's going on here, because you seem to have all the answers," I said, unable to hide the note of crazy in my voice. "And not just Sam and Dean suddenly being set back thirty or so years. Explain to me what the hell is going on in this place because I've had just about enough of this blind faith attitude you're still holding onto. I've had enough with the visions, the feakin' spirit guides, and _dying,_ thank you very much." Castiel shut his eyes tightly as the tears began to roll down his face.

"Hey, go easy on the little tyke," Crowley said jokingly as he lifted the corner of the sheet to peek at Lynn's body. Bobby quickly slapped his hand away. Then he looked up and grinned at everyone merrily. "You might burst his little bubble of happiness. Besides, you'll need your calm for what he's about to say next."

"Cas?" I said expectantly.

"God," he said simply, looking up at me. "You're God."

I stared at him. He stared back. Crowley's eyes excitedly traveled back and forth along with everybody else's. The room was dead silent, alive with anticipation. He said that just to make me even more confused, didn't he?

"Screw you…" I muttered, walking towards the door.

"Chuck," Cas called after me.

I turned around in time to see Castiel toss something small towards me. I caught it and held it up, frowning even deeper than before, if that was possible. It was a necklace with a small horned amulet hanging down. I could only barely see the outline since it instantly began to glow bright white.

"Sam gave it to me after Dean threw it away," Castiel said. He stood up and handed the Dean baby off to Bobby. "I had no use for it, but he asked me to keep it safe, just in case. It only glows like that in the presence of God."

"Dude, you'd better tell me what the _hell_ right now or I may just have to shoot myself and be done with it all," I said threateningly.

"God chooses his prophets," Castiel said slowly, looking away thoughtfully as though trying to decide on how to word his insanity. "When he does, he cuts out a small slice of his divine grace and bestows it upon the prophet."

"That would explain the prophet powers," Adam said, nodding. Then he frowned as he realized what he'd just said.

"In a way, this makes you like a kiddy-sized God," Castiel continued. "You have abilities of your own that resemble his, even if you haven't figured out how to access them all. You have his essence melded with your soul, hence, God."

I stared at him for a long time before finally speaking. "You're saying this just to be mean to me, aren't you? Honestly, Cas, what have I done to deserve this?"

"I always knew there was a reason I didn't like you," Crowley said, smiling contently, perfectly at ease with the situation.

"What about Sam and Dean?" Bobby asked, looking down at the hazel-eyed baby in his arms. "How is it possible for them to be reborn?"

"The boy's already said fate, hasn't he?" Crowley said, sounding a little annoyed. "It was meant to happen, so it has. Someone in a high place believes Sam and Dean deserve another chance at life. Or another painful death, depending on how you look at it."

"We won't let that happen," Cas snapped at the demon, glaring murderously. Then he calmed down and turned back to Bobby. "Since human bodies are mere manifestations of the soul, the boys will grow up looking like they always have, but without that four year height difference. As their minds develop, so will their memories of the Winchesters we know."

"Maybe it's a hallucinogen," I said to Adam, never taking my eyes off Cas. "Now that he's human, he's highly at risk."

"You'll see the truth in my words, just you wait," Castiel said sincerely.

"Right," I said rolling my eyes. "You know, Becky's been a long time. I'd better go check on her."

I quickly ran out of the cabin and walked back to the house, trying to stop my mind from dwelling on the ridiculous conversation. Seeing how the sun was just beginning to rise worked as a distraction until I reached the house. I found beck and Jesse in the kitchen, digging through a bunch of plastic bags, tears still running down both their faces.

"Jesse, could I have a minute alone with Becky?" I asked kindly, not wanting to upset the kid even more. He nodded and quickly left. Becky straightened up, wiping her eyes clean.

"S-sorry it's taking so long," she sniffed. "Lotta bags."

"That's not what I need to talk to you about," I admitted. I could feel myself already begin to choke up. I was glad that I was doing this on a sleep deprivation high—no conscience to stop me. "How opposed to sacrifice are you?"

"Um…depends, I guess," she said, frowning. "Depends on what the sacrifice is for."

"Oh, I dunno," I mumbled, looking down at my feet. "Your life for the human race?"

"Seems fair, I guess," she nodded. Thank God for her insanity! Or would that be thanking myself…?

I took a deep breath and reached into my pocket, pulling out the vile full of the dark, silver liquid. "Well, I've got an even bigger reason to sacrifice, but you'll actually be getting something in return."

"Okay, interested," she said. I could tell that she was just thankful for the distraction from Lynn's death.

"How would you like to be Eve?"

AN: chapter by L. Medora. Good luck to Lynx, you're in quite the confusion


	14. Chapter 14

**Adam**

Chuck ran off like the devil was on his tail and I wilted. I was worried for him, really, but it had already been a long day and my mind was shutting down. I had delivered babies (a first), lost a patient (again, a first), found out that those babies were my _older _brothers, and then found out that my boyfriend was God.

I looked over at Bobby to see him gazing back and forth between the two babies, adoration on his face. I realized he was _crying. _Bobby did not cry… did he?

I looked down at the baby in my arms to find him staring up at me. "Hey baby Sammy," I cooed softly, smiling as his eyes lit up. What was it about babies and puppies that made everyone start cooing at them? Baby Sam waved around his delicate little baby fists and gurgled. I glanced back up at the room as baby Sammy yawned and stuck his fingers in his mouth.

Bobby had that _glow, _like the proudest father in the world. My heart hurt a bit because I'd never once been looked at like that, but I was happy for my brothers. I didn't think John Winchester had been capable of looking at _anyone _like that. They deserved a good parent- after all, I'd had my mom.

Crowley was watching the happy family scene with total demonic disgust. I smirked at him and he sneered back at me childishly, but he didn't leave the room.

Cas was staring down at the sleeping baby Dean, completely pure love surrounding them like a safety shield. Tears were still silent dripping down his face, but he didn't seem to notice. I couldn't watch them for too long, though; I was still a bit angry and hurt with them for what they'd done to me.

Jesse had come back in and was hovering in the doorway. He met my gaze and his eyes were sad but curious as to the different atmosphere. I shook my head to tell him that I'd explain later.

Baby Sammy had drifted off to sleep in my arems. I walked over to Bobby. "Do you want to hold him?" It was a totally rhetorical question.

Bobby swallowed and nodded, taking my big-little brother gently. He seemed content to stay that way forever and I was assured that my brothers were both safe, so I caught Crowley's eye and headed out the door.

"What's with this 'God' business?" I asked, knowing Crowley had followed me out.

"I knew you Winchesters were _dumb, _but surely you are not _that _stupid?" He popped up in front of me with his brow raised and his arms crossed.

"No," I snapped, not in the mood for banter. "I am not stupid; I understand the whole soul and essence part, but why are we figuring this out _now? _He wasn't _God _before, just a mostly human prophet."

Crowley sighed. "Fine, I'll tell you," he told me, exasperated as if I'd been pestering him instead of bouncing my confusion off of him. "But _only _because the angel won't." He sounded far too defensive and I was beginning to think Crowley wasn't as aloof as we thought. "God has given up, and it ain't on the humans. He hates the angels and what they've come to represent. It's why he saved little Castiel, an angel far below his superiors' notice." Saved Castiel? When, and from what? I'd ask the others later.

"So…?"

"_So _the angels convinced Joseph," he began, bringing up one more person I didn't know about, "to tell them God's whereabouts. Michael then convinced God to relinquish his powers, along with his role as 'supreme ruler of the universes'," here Crowley flashed his now demon black eyes to show just what he thought of this description, "to someone… less weary of the world. Rather, less weary of their ways, but that's not how they see it. God is _dead, _boy."

"And…" My sluggish brain was making an admirable effort to keep up.

"_And_, dimwit," Crowley growled, "the only living being with the potential to take on that kind of role is your miserable, drunken prophet. His body is adjusted around a piece of God's essence- now it just has to accommodate the rest. That's why he almost died, and why his soul was pushed from his body with Sami's 'gift' from above. He cannot fully embody the role until his soul- the human piece- moves on and leaves room for the process to finish."

"So… Chuck's _not _God?" I clarified.

"For all intents and purposes, yes, he is. He's got all of the same powers, really, they're just untapped and about one trillionth less potent. I've just bound him in human form."

"_You?" _I knew the demon was powerful, but binding God seemed like it would be on a whole 'nother level.

Crowley shrugged. "Well, technically _you." _I stared at him blankly. "Your deal?" he reminded me.

"I… _I _bound God?" My stomach lurched in horror and disbelief. This was all too much. I was just an innocent pre-med college student with an absent father I'd met less than a handful of times. I hadn't grown up knowing about hunters or their lifestyle. I hadn't wanted to be eaten alive by ghouls. I hadn't _asked _to be Michael's only alternate vessel. I didn't want _this. _

Crowley was chuckling happily. "Oh, you Winchesters and your absurdly horrible luck…" Not for the first time I wished that John Winchester had never noticed Kate Milligan. Then I would never have been born and the world would sincerely be a better place. I hadn't made a single important contribution to the world that was positive, but I'd made a hell of a lot of negative ones. Crowley cackled again, even more maliciously than before. "How does it feel to make out with God? You Winchesters can't fall in love with _normal _beings, can you? A werewolf and a demon for Sammy boy, an angel for Dean, but _God… _You take the cake." I was getting more and more disgusted with myself.

"Leave him alone," someone ordered and we turned to see Jesse standing a few feet from us. I wondered how long he had been standing there. Crowley was still laughing too hard to throw in a biting comment. He threw Jesse a mock salute and disappeared. Everything was suddenly very quiet- I hadn't realized how loud we'd been.

"So…" Jesse walked over and stood next to me. "He's God, huh? I so take back that useless comment." I blanched, the protective surge rising inside me once again at the reminder. "Sorry 'bout that, by the way," Jesse told me sincerely. "I didn't say it to be cruel, but I know it was and I am sorry it hurt you. I just wanted to protect you, ya know? I didn't want him to _die _or anything, I just thought we were better off waiting for some info on where he was and all that. So, uh…." He held out his hand and I shook it.

"Apology accepted."

"What's up?" he asked after a moment.

I shook my head; the standard teenage boy "not much" didn't apply here. "It's all weird," I said, sighing.

Jesse nodded. "I'll head back in there," he said. "Want to check what's taking them so long with the baby formula?"

"Sure," I agreed, not hearing the question. It registered a few moments later and I headed to the main house. I stopped in the doorway of the kitchen to see a strange sight playing out. Becky had a small vial raised to her lips. It was filled with a dark silver, faintly glowing liquid. She drank it all and dropped the empty glass to the floor where it shattered. Her eyes widened before closing as she fainted. A little whimper escaped her, signifying that whatever she'd drunk was putting her in pain. Chuck had reached out to catch her shoulders before she could crack her head open on the counter. He lowered her slowly to the ground.

"What did you do to her?" I asked, hearing myself sound a bit appalled. I still couldn't feel anything, really- just this terrifying numbness. I figured my brain was in the process of protecting me.

Chuck looked up, surprised and a bit guilty. "She consented."

I nodded. "Okay… but what was it?" I sounded much more normal now.

He shook his head. "I can't explain it yet. I don't… I don't have the words for it. It's just really important. It was supposed to be Lynn, but I couldn't go through with it. I guess that's good, because now Sam and Dean are back, but… it's so much more painful if the person isn't pregnant already."

My brain worked through that and froze. "Wait… _already? _What's that going to do to her?"

He shuffled his feet awkwardly (my brain registered the cuteness, but I shut it down fast, because I couldn't be thinking like that right now) but met my eyes. "I'll make her pregnant. With, um, all of our child. It's destined to, uh, save the world?"

"All of us?" I swallowed. "Who, exactly, is included 'all of us'?"

"Uh… You, me, Cas, Crowley, and Bobby." He seemed to be bracing himself for my anger, but I didn't have it in me at the moment. I was wasted.

"Okay."

"…Okay?"

I shrugged. "Do you want me to be angry?"

"No!" he said quickly. "I just… I didn't think…"

I yawned and messed up my hair sleepily. "Look, I don't really _approve, _but… I'll think about it later, 'kay? I just kinda want to go sleep… for a few days, preferably… and not have to think."

He nodded and dropped to his knees, digging out the formula. He handed it over to me. "We just have to make sure Sam and Dean are taken care of and then you can sleep."

I nodded. "Okay."

We headed back to the hut where not much had changed. Baby Dean had woken up now and was squirming in Cas' arms, crying a little. "Bet he's hungry," I said quietly. Cas met my eyes and nodded. He seemed a bit worried. "He'll be fine, don't worry. Little babies eat, sleep, and poop a lot. They're pretty useless for the first few months, except they're really cute. Just like a puppy." Cas nodded, looking a bit relieved. I figured I'd get over my grudges and show him how to care for a baby later- he wasn't going to be setting Dean down any time soon.

Bobby was still cradling baby Sam, rocking him a little. He seemed more at peace than ever since I'd met him. "How are you holding up?" I asked, setting some formula down near him for when Sam woke up.

"Good, boy, and you?" he said. He was actually smiling.

"Uh, fine, I think," I said. "Just, ya know, tired?"

He nodded. "It's been a long day."

"Yeah." Chuck was hesitating by the door, fidgeting under Crowley's evil eye glare and Jesse's slightly awed stares. Again, adorable, but I was too tired to think so much. "Can you give Cas a hand with feeding Dean? He's hungry now that he's woken up. I kinda just want to go get some sleep."

Bobby nodded. "Sure thing. Sleep good, kid."

I nodded and headed out, stumbling a bit in the doorway and bumping my shoulder on the wood. It probably would have hurt, but my mind was a bit hazy. I only felt this drunk when I was _really _exhausted and about to collapse.

Chuck followed me out, seeming to relax now that no one was staring at him. "You okay?" he asked, a bit worried about the slightly crooked, stumbling path I was taking back to the house.

"Yup," I said, and he let it go. We got to my room and I stumbled to the bed, gracelessly falling in a heap on top of it. I gave up on the covers and just straightened out, fighting hard not to fall asleep as soon as my head was on the pillow. Chuck was headed back out of the room, but I grabbed hold of his sleeve before he was out of my reach. "Stay. Please?"

He looked surprised. "You want me to? I thought… with everything…?"

I pulled him down beside me. "Doesn't matter now." I sighed, but my brain was bothering me with one more thing that it wanted answered before it would let me sleep. I knew that nagging feeling and I knew that it could keep me awake for hours. "Are you scared, about the God thing?"

I heard him sigh, but my eyes had closed and refused to open. "Yes." I reached out and pulled him closer to me, keeping my arms around him. "Are you?"

"Uh-huh," I said sleepily, my words starting to slur just a little. "We'll figure it out, though. I love you."

I heard him say he loved me, too, just as I was finally drifting off to sleep.

* * *

_AN: Sorry Adam got so sleepy there. For the purpose of this fic he lives in my brain, and my brain is unreasonably tired. That, and the fact that I wrote most of this while running back and forth between appointments to prepare me for the wedding I was in as a bridesmaid yesterday, account for the shortness. Hope I'm forgiven! I tried to explain all the confusion. =) _

_Reviews are always love! ^.^ _


	15. Chapter 15

The first day after Sam and Dean's…rebirth, everybody slept well into the afternoon. Everybody except for Bobby and Cas who were too busy doting over the newborns to remember they were supposed to be tired. But when afternoon came, I was already up, watching Adam blink himself awake.

"Good afternoon," I said quietly as he smiled sleepily at me.

"Hi," he whispered. He turned over so that he could face me directly. "Sleep okay?"

"No sleep," I shrugged. "Too much think. And baby crying. Your brothers tend to be loud when they're upset. What about you? No nightmares?"

"No," he said, shaking his head. "It's one of those times when sleeping might as well be blinking. I could really go for some coffee…"

"You got it," I said eagerly, sitting up. I scooted over to the edge of the bed and stood up only to find that I was in the cramped downstairs bathroom. "What the—"

"God, could you _knock_?" Becky shouted.

"Is that supposed to be funny?"I asked, thankful for the small distraction. I looked down at Becky who was leaning over the toilet, holding back her hair.

"If I hadn't just puked up three days worth of meals, I would hit you," she muttered. "Curse ever meeting you…this is so not fun…"

"Morning sickness already?" I asked with a frown. "Doesn't that come in a few…later?"

"For normal infant devils, maybe," she said bitterly. "For the child of five gay boys and only two who happen to be somewhat human, I—"

"So you've discovered teleportation, _finally_," Crowley muttered. I looked over and saw him leaning against the fireplace, steaming mug in his hands. Somehow I had managed to arrive in the living room. "Speaking as the master of the disappearing act, I highly recommend it. Just don't take passengers—it messes up their bowel movements and that is not a lawsuit you want to deal with."

"Wait, _teleport_?" I said incredulously, looking down at my feet as though they were the cause.

"Yes, my lord," he said mockingly. "Helps to get momentum, if you know what I mean. But all it takes is a strong enough thought and the laws of physics mean nothing to you."

"Crowley, are you actually trying to help me?" I asked, wondering if that shouldn't have been my topmost concern.

"No," he said defensively, taking a step back.

I rolled my eyes but decided to try his advice. I concentrated on the kitchen, imagining walking through to door like I did every morning. I took a step forward, my momentum, and crashed into the door which was closed. I heard Crowley laugh from down the hall. I stood up and pushed the door aside, hurrying to get a cup of coffee with a little creamer and a tablespoon of sugar, just the way he like it. Then I concentrated on the bedroom upstairs, this time avoiding imagining the door, and was there in an instant. But Adam wasn't in bed where I'd left him. I set the mug down on the nightstand and looked around.

"Adam?" I called out. He suddenly skidded to a halt in the doorway, his face wild and afraid. He instantly crossed into the room, pulling me up into his arms and squeezing me like a teddy bear. "Miss me?" I gasped as the air left my lungs.

"Don't you _ever_ do that to me again, understand?" he said, voice shaky.

"Sorry," I said apologetically. "I just found out that I can teleport."

Adam released me, but just enough to hold me at arm's length and stare into my eyes. "Then tell me first before you go off again, please? I lost track of you once before and you nearly died. I won't ever let that happen again and neither will you, understand?"

I'd seen this face before. Just this morning, even. He was terrified, tired and upset. I saw the tears form around the brim of his eyes and I instantly felt guilty for discovering my new power. I leaned forward and kissed him lightly on the cheek.

"I'm sorry," I whispered, wrapping my arms around his neck. "I couldn't control it, but I will. No more scares, I promise."

He shook his head, smiling. "No, I'm just tired. Didn't mean to freak out on you."

"Coffee fixes everything." I shrugged. He nodded, but made no move to retrieve the mug on the nightstand. He just pulled me closer, kissing my lips as though we had been apart for days, setting off that hot vs. cold effect in my body. Much better than jell-o. And just as predestined, we were interrupted. Again. This time it was all my fault, pulling away because a strange chill ran down my spine, shaking me to my unmentionables.

"Chuck, what's wrong?" Adam asked worriedly.

"I'm…not sure," I murmured.

I took his hand, leading him out of the room and down the stairs. We headed outside where Cas, cradling baby Dean, and Crowley already stood. But the angel and demon standing so near was not what worried me. Beyond the porch stood hundreds of people, as still as statues, staring up at the house. They all looked like people in a trance with their shoulders slumped and chests contracted. But the most dismal part of their appearances was that their mouths and eyelids were stitched shut with thick, black string.

"Chuck, what is it?" I looked back at Adam and realized that he couldn't see the sight laid out before us.

"The most beautiful gift-wrapped goodies in the world!" Crowley exclaimed, waving his arms outward.

"They're souls," Castiel said coldly. "Every human soul who has taken part of the war and not yet been reincarnated. Hunters…"

"What does it mean?" I asked. I looked back at Adam whose face clearly said he was struggling to keep up with the conversation.

"They're a gift, you imbecile," Crowley muttered. "A prepackaged army at our fingertips. Probably for our lord and savior, here."

"Army," I said, frowning. "But…they're not moving."

"You're the almighty," Crowley scoffed. I really wished he would stop with the God jokes already. "Go and command one of your new soldier boys."

"You should try," Cas nodded. "But just one for now, so we can see exactly what's going on."

I nodded my agreement and stepped off the porch, closely followed by Adam. I felt like I was on the most demented supply run ever, looking around at all the people, trying to decide who to choose. But then something caught my eye, a simple trait, and I knew who to choose. The Mullet. I walked over to the scary human-resembling spirit whose face turned directly towards me as I approached. It helped ease the fear when I noticed how funny the sideburns looked beside the stitches. I placed my hand on the dip of his chest, where it seemed to be caved in, and my palm glowed. The person looked as though his body was being inflated, standing upright like he normally would before all the black string fell off.

"How'd you do that?" Adam breathed, eyes wide. "You just…created a person out of thin air! …Why the mullet?"

"Adam, this is Ash," I said, turning back to my apparent creation. "He's an old friend of your brothers'."

"Whoa…" Ash said, blinking his eyes. He took a step back and rubbed his hands over his face. "That musta' been some nappy. Who're you?"

"Sorry, I forgot we've never actually met," I said, unsure of how he might be different. So far, he was pretty normal. "I'm Chuck, the prophet slash God…I think. And this is Adam Winchester."

"Epic," Ash nodded appreciatively. "You mind tellin' a buddy what's going on?"

"Well, what's the last thing you remember?" I asked.

"Hmm…let's see…I was doing some research for Dean, you know who that is?" he said, pointing to Adam.

"Of course, he's my brother," Adam said, frowning. "Winchester isn't a very common name."

"Gotcha," Ash said. "So I happened to come upon something pretty freakin' huge."

"The devil's gate," I nodded. Ash raised an eyebrow suspiciously and I shrugged. "Omniscient."

"That's cool," he said, pointing a finger at me. "So almost right after I called Dean, this smooth talker walks up into the bar and outright announces he's a demon. Called himself Brady…had a bong buddy named Brady…but we all assumed he was either suicidal or an idiot. Next thing I know, things get hot and I black out."

"Wait, you don't remember being dead _at all_?" I said incredulously. "It's been three years!"

"Dead?" he frowned. "What've I missed?

"The apocalypse, for one," I laughed hysterically. "Demons released the Croatoan virus and now zombie people are running wild, Michael and Lucifer are duking it out, Sam and Dean were just born this morning, we've got a pregnant fangirl carrying a baby that belongs to five different guys at once, and…huh…I think that's it."

"Well," Ash laughed, clapping me on the back. "Seems you've all been busy without me! Anything I can do? I mean, you musta brought me back for a reason."

"Pretty long story, actually," I shrugged. "But maybe you can use your computer skills to help us locate survivors."

"Mmm, heat seekers," he said, smiling in a way that made Adam and I both shift uncomfortably. "I once enhanced one to span a search over ten miles just from the bar…it was pretty sweet. I think we can work something out. Oh, hey, would this be Bobby Singer's place?"

I nodded and he grinned, clapping his hands in the air and whooping. I laughed as he ran towards the house, cheering for Bobby. Castiel tilted his head as the crazy man ran past and Crowley glared.

"So," Adam said, taking my arm as we walked back towards the house (I carefully tried to avoid walking through the creepy looking souls), "explain now, or later?"

"I'm sure Cas will have to go over it all again to Bobby," I shrugged. "I probably wouldn't even get it after the third time."

"Yeah, I find it's best to just push it all from my mind and concentrate on something else," he said as we walked up the porch steps and into the house.

"Concentrate?" I said with a slight hopeful note in my voice. "Concentrate on…what?"

"Things…" he said, catching onto my game. I nudged him and he smiled at me. "Things like…certain eyes…smiles…stuff. It helps take the stress off most of the time."

"Most of the time?" I said, mocking defensiveness. "Maybe I should step up my game…if I ever gain…game."

Adam chuckled and held my hand tighter. "Does it ever seem to you that there's never enough time around here, or something always demanding our attention just when things are…perfect?"

_**YES! **_

"Um, yeah," I mumbled like an idiot, looking down at the stairs as we climbed. "I noticed."

Adam stopped walking and faced me directly, holding both my hands. He looked me in the eye and smiled kindly in the heart melting way that he does. "I'm guessing it's going to be pretty busy today, what with newborns, preggers, new Ash, jealous demon—"

"Wait, you know about Bobby and Crowley?" I said, jaw dropping.

"Well…I do now," he said awkwardly, but shook it away from his mind. "But _tomorrow_ is ours. I don't care what anyone else says or if the house is surrounded by Croats, we are going to have an entire day without the apocalypse or its side effects to distract us. Deal?"

"Uh…yeah…I, I mean, deal," I said quickly. "Whole…day…"

"There it is…" he said quietly, smiling with adoration. He reached up and ran his hand along my cheek softly.

"_CHUCK!" _Bobby's voice roared from downstairs.

"Guess we should've seen that coming," Adam muttered.

Everybody got used to Ash's presence after a while, except Becky and Crowley. Becky was busy with her sped up version of morning sickness and Crowley kept to the corners, glaring at Ash the whole time. Whenever I would look at him questioningly, he would politely order me to piss off before he stormed out of the room.

But that night, I had forgotten about all of that. I was with Adam and we were walking through a forest, perfectly at ease. It was a peaceful stroll, seeming to be with no set direction.

"I can't believe we found it," Adam sighed happily. He held up a leather bound book in his hand with an engraving of a cross on the cover. "This thing is…_old_."

"Can't believe Luke actually held it," I found myself saying. "Well, Markus, anyway. Maybe you can learn something. It's like…epic prophecy moment for you."

"Yeah," he nodded, a strange look on his face. "I'll read it later. I just want to walk with you."

I smiled and looked up at him, then frowned. "What's that?"

I stared at the line that had suddenly appeared on his neck. After a moment, it turned red and a rainfall of blood soaked into his shirt. I caught him as he slumped forward and gently set him on the ground. I placed my hands on the sides of his face as my palms glowed brightly. But when the light had faded, nothing changed.

"Heal…" I said, feeling a sudden loss choke me up. I tapped his face again with my glowing palms, over and over. "_Heal_ dammit!"

I sat up in bed, gasping and choking. A pair of hands grasped my shoulders and shook me fully awake.

"Chuck, what's wrong?" Adam asked, holding me still.

I looked into his eyes, so bright and blue…and couldn't help picturing how they looked with the filmy white cover. That light he told me about when Sami died, it was gone from him. I found a new determination to make sure that never happened.

* * *

_AN: Written by the lovely LMedora, of course. Amazing, huh? Wow, our story's gotten weird... I was re-reading today and was like, wow, things used to be normal... 0.o No wonder people are freaked.. lol. _

_Reviews are love. _


	16. Chapter 16

**Adam**

I woke quickly when Chuck started awake, the ghosts of his nightmares still haunting his eyes. I shook him- probably a bit too hard- to try to make them go away. "Chuck, what's wrong?"

His eyes met mine, but whatever words he had died on his lips. He stared at my eyes, lingering horror and dawning determination taking over his own. I hated to see him scared. Instead of keeping his gaze, I reached out and hugged him close, running my fingers through his hair. "It's okay," I said, "I'm here." I could feel him nod against my shoulder, and we stayed that way for a few minutes before he pulled away. I let my hand rest on his arm, not really willing to let go of him yet.

"It's okay," he promised, but I could tell that he was still shaken. "It was just a nightmare."

"A nightmare nightmare or a _vision _nightmare?" I asked carefully.

He winced. "I think a vision nightmare."

"What of?"

His jaw clamped shut and he shook his head. I wanted to roll my eyes at how that gesture made him look like a three year old, but I didn't. "Fine, but we should go back to sleep. It's still late."

He shook his head. "Can't sleep."

"Too many thoughts?" I guessed, and he nodded. "Okay." I crawled out of bed and stretched, noticing that he was staring. I grinned cheekily. "See something you like?"

He blushed and quickly looked away, making me grin. I dragged him up. "Come on, if we're up this early we deserve coffee."

He rolled his eyes. "You're only saying that because you're addicted."

I shrugged. "College habits die hard."

There was already a half filled coffee pot. It was still dark, but Bobby was drinking his own cup at the table. "What's got you up so early?" I asked.

"Baby duty," he said, yawning.

"I thought Cas had control of that?" Chuck asked him.

"Nah, he only looks after Dean really. Someone's gotta take care of Sam." He didn't sound put out.

"Sorry. I'd help, but today's my day off," I told him, glancing pointedly at Chuck. I had meant what I promised: a whole day together, away from responsibilities.

Bobby grinned. "I can live off of coffee for one more day. You can take big little brother duty tomorrow."

I winced. "Why doesn't that sound as fun as it should?"

"Dean had to _raise _his brother. You just gotta help," Bobby pointed out. "So, what got you up?"

"Nightmares," I said. Not a full sentence, but I hadn't had even a sip of coffee yet. It was still dark. The two did not work wonders on my brain.

"The Apocalypse will do that to you," he agreed. "What about?"

I shrugged, looking to Chuck. "His vision nightmares."

Bobby's interest perked up another level, hunter mode already beginning to show. I found it much easier to identify now that I had weeks of experience with it. The hunter persona had a tangible affect to it so that could almost be felt in the air: part determination, part focus, and part intensity. All terrifying to oppose; no wonder Crowley kept a tight hold on Bobby's soul for the present. "What about?" he reiterated.

Chuck shrugged and dropped down at the table. "The God powers, unlocking them, controlling them…" he trailed off. "I don't want them to fail when I need them."

There was a laugh from the doorway causing Chuck and I stiffened in alarm. Bobby looked unfazed- hunter mode or just scary good senses? - as Crowley appeared in the doorway. He did, however, shoot a half-hearted glare in the demon's direction.

"What? He'll figure them out eventually," Crowley reasoned. "Everyone does."

"So, then, you know how to teach him?" I asked.

"No," Crowley replied, but it sounded more like he was making excuses. "My powers are _dark _and God's are _light- _we're in a totally different league."

"No," Chuck said, seeming much too thoughtful for this early in the morning. Maybe my brain just had major issues starting. "I don't think so."

"Really?" Crowley asked, trying to seem uninterested. I could see that he was trying to work the logic out for himself and failing, though, leaving him curious. "And how do you figure _that?" _

"Well," Chuck said slowly, carefully thinking out his words. It was adorable. "God created everything, right? So, then, God must have created evil. And everyone says that evil comes from Lucifer, the devil, but God created the devil and understood fate, so he must have intended for evil to occur. So, really, God can't be light or dark if he can create both light and dark things- he just is. It's a balance. It's like… another aspect of perfection."

We were all silent, thinking that over. A baby started wailing and Bobby got up, heading out without a word. He was on a mission. Crowley disappeared, either perturbed by the conversation or losing interest now that his love (or at least lust) interest was gone (and if _that _wasn't weird, I didn't know what was). "I guess it's good that they at least get a good father this time."

"What do you mean?" Chuck asked.

"Well…" I bit my lip, considering how to explain. "John didn't really care about his sons. He kind of screwed us all over. It just seems good that they've got a second chance and all."

Chuck tilted his head. "In his way, John loved you most."

_Well _then. "How did you get that idea?"

"Well, when they went back in time and met the John before they were born, back when Mary- their mom- was alive and he was unbroken. He didn't know who they were, but he was ranting to Sam about how he didn't understand how any parent could raise their child that way. He never wanted to turn into that kind of father. In his own way, by staying out of your life he was protecting you. It was too late for the boys, but he tried to save you." I opened my mouth to protest that he would have done a better job protecting me by telling me the truth, but he stopped me. "I know your argument. I know, really. But, I know John really well. I can't help it, the visions ensure that. He did love you." Chuck shrugged. "He was broken, but he tried. Doesn't he get any credit for that?"

I tried to consider it. I did. "Nope. By creating the three of us he ended the world."

"Destiny?" Chuck argued halfheartedly. "Hey, I'm glad you exist."

I smirked. "You're the one and only person." He let it go.

I gave up on coffee, for the third day in a row, because my brain had woken itself up with time. I dragged him up with me as I headed back towards our room. "So, what do you want to do today?"

"Today?"

I grinned. "Well, I did promise you the whole day."

A slow smile spread over his face. "I think I could like that." I pinned him against the wall and kissed him, taking advantage of his surprised gasp to slip my tongue between his parted lips. He deepened the kiss, not minding, and for a few moments we were melded together. When we pulled apart we were both breathing heavily, my forehead resting on his. "Yeah, I could really start to like this," he continued on, a bit out of breath. I grinned and took his hand again, continuing to drag him to our room.

One whole day.

I'd never been more excited for anything in my life.

* * *

_AN/ Yeah, I totally just ran in circles there. =) Laura's mean and finally found the cliffie to throw me on a writer's block. I struggled all day. And then when I wanted to write my boyfriend became distracting with wedding planning talk (more speculation and fun) and it just... didn't flow. But it exists! For that alone I am proud. I will never miss and update unless the unthinkably bad happens. ^.^ For me, that's like, unmentionable devotion. Even I'm shocked/impressed._

_Thanks to Alex for beta-ing. _

_Reviews are love, even when I don't think I deserve them. _


	17. Chapter 17

_AN (from Laura): WARNING! At the request of a disturbingly enthusiastic Lynx, this chapter contains some graphic content, though I did try to tone it down a notch from my oneshots. If you find your mind scarred, tell me in a review ^.^_

_

* * *

_

When Adam pulled me up to my room, of course I had one thought racing through my mind in circles, screaming for joy, though my mouth was too distracted to make any noise louder than a whimper. But he surprised me by telling me to just sit down on the bed while he went around my room gathering an assortment of my belongings and putting them into my backpack. I wondered what he had been plotting for the day that had to do with my emergency writing materials and a picnic blanket. My mind wandered to a forbidden corner of my mind where all the thoughts tingled in the worst places, so I stubbornly told my mind to keep quiet and focused on Adam.

After he handed me my bag, Adam pulled me out of the room and hastily led me out of the house. He didn't allow me to ask questions until we were speeding away from Bobby's place in the Impala, narrowly avoiding all the log cabin obstacles.

"Are you going to tell me where we're going?" I asked as he made a sharp turn to avoid a porch that seemed to appear out of nowhere.

"I'll tell you when the time comes," he said slyly. "For now, just tell me what you're hungry for."

I smiled, biting my lip as I watched the wonderful creation that apparently was my boyfriend. It was so frustrating that I now had all these wonderful powers which just came to me naturally, but the one thing that should was my only mystery. I sighed and leaned my head against the seat of the Impala, just watching him.

We drove into town slowly, keeping an eye out for Croats. But I knew they wouldn't be a problem today. Whether it was my new God-aura or ego, I felt sure of it. We pulled up into the parking lot of an old Wal-Mart and entered the building, finding that it miraculously still had power. All the lights were off and many of the gates to the add on stores were closed, but an air conditioner was running and we heard it.

"We should tell Bobby when we get back," Adam said, walking towards the food isle. "If any dairy has survived, he'll want it."

"Yeah, but what are we getting right now?" I asked eagerly.

"Patience, love," he said, effectively shutting me up while I swooned.

Adam travelled up and down the food isles, packing my backpack with foods of all sorts. The whole time I followed, looking over his shoulder, trying to piece together what was going on in his mind. When we heard something topple over in the next isle, we high tailed it out of there and sped away in the Impala. Once we were a safe distance from Wal-Mart, Adam stopped the car and got out.

"What's wrong?" I asked, getting out of the car. I saw him open up a large map and spread it out on the hood of the car.

"There," he said, pointing to something on the map. I looked over his shoulder and saw that he was pointing at a huge map of Italy. "I've only been there once, but it was the most incredible thing I've ever seen. Take us there?"

"I thought you liked your insides just where they are?" I said, raising an eyebrow.

"You're God," he shrugged with a joking smile. "I doubt you could do any harm."

I grinned and pressed my hand against the car which instantly disappeared. Adam returned the grin with a much more cat-like effect as he grabbed me by the hips and pulled our bodies together. It was almost impossible to concentrate on what I'd seen on the map when he was looking at me that way, but I managed. In an instant, we were standing next to a tree, surrounded by the greenest grass I'd ever seen. In the distance, I saw perfectly colored rows of crops and tiny houses on top of tall hills.

"I remember this," I said, smiling in awe. "Your mom took you here when you were five years old."

"You like it?" he asked. I looked up at his hopeful eyes and nodded. He grinned and slid my backpack off his shoulder. He pulled out the picnic blanket and spread it out at the base of the tree and sat down, pulling me with him.

"So, how long have you been planning this?" I asked as he dug through my bag for a can of soda.

"I haven't stopped thinking about it since I saw you holding my baby brother," he admitted quietly. "Call me a pervert, but I couldn't keep my eyes off you."

I couldn't help blushing and looked down at my hands to try to hide it. But then his hand reached up to grasp my chin and made me look at him. He tilted his head to the side as if to say _what are you thinking about?_

"I love you," I said in answer.

He smiled warmly and leaned down to kiss me. I don't think his intent was for it to deepen the way it did, but he tore a whimper from my throat which made him hold me even closer. Whatever had gotten into us, it took our breath away. Within a few moments, Adam was pulling my shirt over my head before removing his own. Then he pushed me back onto the blanket and pressed his bare chest against mine, never stopping the assault of his lips.

For a while, it was just touching and kissing, testing our limits. Almost innocent, truly. But then I slipped up and got vocal which was like acid to his walls of defense which crumbled instantly. Before I knew it, he was reaching for my pants and it took all my strength to pull away from his lips and gasp for him to stop?"

"Did I hurt you?" he asked worriedly, visibly shaking from the effort of holding back.

"No, not that," I whispered, still trying to catch my breath. "I just…I've never, not with a guy…"

"Oh, that," he chuckled, bowing his head with relief. When he looked up at me, he was smiling sweetly. "Me neither. Well, I don't remember it, anyway." Then his face fell slightly and I though he honestly was going to cry. "Do you want me to stop?"

I bit my lip and shook my head. "Just…be gentle with me?"

"Gentle, I can work with that," he agreed, leaning down to kiss me again.

I barely registered his nimble fingers undoing the buttons and zipper on my jeans, but I did notice when he stopped kissing me and leaned back. I was too shaky to do anything more than slow him down when he tried to remove my pants, so I just did my best to hold still, impatiently watching as he worked at his own jeans. Then, sitting back on his heels, he pulled me up by the shoulder until I was securely wrapped in his arms.

Gentle kinda lost its meaning as soon as he was inside me. Then it was mostly pain…and screaming. Thank (me?) that there was nobody around to hear. Maybe it was my new Crowley-made body or just something natural, but by a single thought, all the pain went away and all that was left was _him_. And screaming, still. Afterwards, we both lay on the picnic blanket, failing to breathe normally, totally spent.

"I think we might've broken a commandment somewhere in there," Adam said between deep breaths. "Or at least some kid of bible rule, right?"

"So send me to prison," I laughed, almost hysterically. "Just not today. Maybe tomorrow. Let's just stay in Italy until we die, okay?"

"Fine by me," Adam said, grinning at me before pulling me back into his kiss again.

We never noticed the sun go down. By the time things had calmed down, mainly because we ran out of energy, it was nighttime. I'd never taken the time to look at the stars lately because things at the house had been so hectic, but lying there in Adam's arms, they were like angelic beacons. Suddenly, Adam shivered and I looked up at him.

"Just had a scary thought," he said. "What if the virus never reached Italy?" He must have felt my body tense because he laughed heartily and held me closer. "Kidding! Someone would have contacted us by now."

"Sometimes you forget how scary it can be…" I murmured. I didn't have to look at Adam's face to know he was making a questioning expression. "Everything at home can be so peaceful at times that I forget we're survivors of a war that's still happening around us. Just think, we could have come here today and we'd be surrounded by Croats. The world is ending…"

"It doesn't feel like it," Adam said speculatively. "You and me are going to reach paradise, remember?"

I smiled at the thought and held onto him tighter. We both watched the stars for a long time, perfectly content with the silence.

"So, you gonna tell me what the vision was?" Adam asked quietly. I could feel the sudden chill at the memory of watching him die.

"When I've found out how to avoid it completely, then maybe," I sighed. "And I will avoid it, I promise." I disentangled myself from his arms and stood up. "Come on. You're not the only one who's been plotting all day. I just realized that I have a gift for you, too."

"Is it what I think it is?" he asked, grinning as he watched me.

"Probably not," I said apologetically. He stuck out his bottom lip in a dramatic pout.

We both got dressed and slowly packed up our things. Strange…we'd barely eaten any of the food. Afterwards, I teleported us back to Bobby's house. Adam made as if to go inside, but I stopped him. He willingly followed as I lead him down from the porch and through the maze of souls, heads turning towards me as we walked past.

"It's really cold, can't we go inside?" Adam asked, his teeth chattering.

"It's the souls I told you about," I whispered. "Them being here is taking the energy that the heat would normally use."

I scanned the crowd with my eyes, searching for the pair of faces that I needed to find. Adam wouldn't be able to be happy about it at first, but he needed it more than he thought he did. And so did the rest of us. I found the souls I had been looking for, one with the scruffy brown and grey hair and worry lines all over his face. The other was a pure blond angel stuck in the 70's style. I pressed my hand against their chests and brought them to life. I felt Adam squeeze my hand so tightly my knuckles popped and I hissed painfully.

"Oh…my…"

"Adam?" John said, looking straight at his youngest son just as the body of Mary Winchester toppled to the ground.

* * *

_AN: Yay! We have finally reached M! I haven't read it yet either. Except that last line. And I must say, "YES, I SO CALLED IT!" And no, I did not know what to expect. =) Tell her how much you love it just like I am sure I will in the morning tomorrow. =) Reviews are love. _


	18. Chapter 18

**Adam**

"Adam?" The word resounded in my head, but it failed to make sense no matter how many times it echoed. I couldn't breathe; my heart had frozen and I couldn't feel it beating; my entire body had paused, stopping as the world went on. I felt numb and dead but also painfully alive, as if merely struggling to exist was torturous agony. It was so confusing.

Because John Winchester stood looking at me with the strangest expression on his face: a mix of worry, confusion, and something suspiciously similar to _love. _

Just as he'd said my name, though, the woman standing beside him had dropped to the ground. He tore his gaze from me as he dropped down next to her, his hand on her shoulder. "Mary?" Her name he said with a reverent tone: careful and awed, protective as if she was the most delicate blossom to ever exist. She stirred and he helped her sit up.

As my mind started working again my body started to wake up. I could breathe again, could feel again, and I realized that I was crushing Chuck's hand. I quickly let go and scrambled back away from the people in front of me. John looked up at the movement, focused once more on me. His blue eyes were filled with confusion and concern. "Adam?"

I stumbled back farther, my mind reeling at these overwhelming _feelings. _"I… I can't…" I gave in to temptation and turned to run back to Bobby's.

My mind raced with too many thoughts as I ran. I had thought that I hated John, but now that the bitterness had been torn away I was shocked by what lay under it. Betrayal: he had gone and died, leaving Mom and I in danger. Hurt: he hadn't ever loved me enough to take me with him. Lonely, unnecessary, inadequate: he'd had two other sons, so he had never needed me. And hopeful: I'd seen that shadow of love, so maybe he _did _care.

No one called out as I ran away which I was grateful for. I made it through the house and up the stairs, headed for my room, but I instinctively stopped outside the nursery. I slowly crept inside wondering if either of the babies was even there; it seemed like Bobby and Cas _always _had them. Sure enough Dean's side of the room (all _blue) _was vacant, but baby Sammy was asleep on the green side of the room. As I stood there he blinked and yawned. His little mouth had opened to an O and I suspected he was about to start wailing to get anyone's attention. Then his little eyes found me. Instead of wailing he gurgled, drool dripping down his little baby chin, waving his chubby arms all about and making happy noises like babies do. I couldn't help but smile, feeling most of my internal anguish drift away for the moment, and I went over and picked him up.

He was so little. The Sam I knew was _huge- _practically a freaking giant- but you would never know when you looked at such a tiny baby how large he would become. He was staring at his drool covered fingers in awe, moving them around curiously and following with his eyes. His other hand fisted in my shirt as he yawned again. "Hungry, baby?" I asked quietly, crossing the room and finding the prepared bottles. I picked one up and began to feed it to him. He drank quietly, watching me the whole time, but about halfway through the bottle his eyes began to drift shut again. I rocked him until he fell asleep, set the bottle back with the others, and lay him back down in his crib. I covered him with his little, warm green blankie and tucked him in. "Sleep tight baby brother," I whispered. I headed back out of the nursery and towards my room once more.

On the way I ran into Bobby. "Hey," I greeted. "What's… up?" I wondered if he knew yet, if John and that mysterious lady had made it back to the house yet.

"Checking up on Sam," he told me with that fatherly look plastered all of his face. It was like dried concrete now- it just didn't ever budge! I wondered if his poor, gruffly sensitive heart would break when the boys had their real daddy back. Bobby seemed to be a much better dad in my opinion, anyways.

"I just did," I told him, shoving my hands in my pockets. "He woke up hungry, but I fed him half a bottle and he went right back to sleep. He'll probably be out for a couple more hours, right? You should get some sleep. I can check up on him again. Big brother and all."

Bobby nodded, relieved. There were dark purple circles starting to form under his eyes, and hunters didn't need much sleep; that much I had learned. To look that bad he must be about to drop from exhaustion any second. "Thanks, boy," he said, taking off his hat to wipe the back of his hand across his forehead. "Reckon I could use a little sleep."

"Couldn't we all," I agreed, dodging past him. "See you in the morning, then, Bobby."

He nodded and headed for the stairs.

I went to the bathroom first, deciding to shower before going to sleep. The water was hot, the steam relaxing, and standing under the hot spray made all of my muscles relax. My problems seemed just a bit dimmer, less important for this moment in time. I stayed there far too long, a while past when the hot water had run out, but eventually I gave in to the shivers that the cold water created and stepped out. I wrapped a towel around my waist and glanced at the mirror, but it was foggy from the steam. I shrugged to myself and headed out into the hall dressed that way; my room was close. Becky was standing outside waiting and she looked _pissed, _but then she saw how I looked and froze. "OH MY GOD!" she fangirled. "You look so… so…."

"Hot?" I offered, amused despite myself, and she nodded fuzzily.

"Uh-huh…"

"Well… bathroom's yours," I said, stepping past her and lightly patting her shoulder for a moment. I thought she was going to literally swoon, but instead she nodded to clear her head and walked in. The door clicked shut and I had a feeling she was leaning against it for support; how cute… in an extremely awkward and creepily stalker-like kind of way. Then again, she was carrying most of our child; she had by far earned a right to express all of her weird habits.

By the time I finally made it to my room, I couldn't say I was extremely surprised to see who was waiting for me inside, though seeing him did make me sort of wish that I had on more than just a towel.

"Hey, Chuck," I greeted quietly.

* * *

_AN: Short, I know, so sorry. I meant to make it longer and get into stuff but then I went to my boyfriend's house to work on a project. My boyfriend has a cute kitty named Lucky. I put Lucky on my lap and was petting him even though I'm allergic to cats. I got hives on my arms and didn't feel good after. So he gave me Benadril (I spelled that wrong, didn't I?). I took two because I need good sleep. I realized ten minutes later that I was crashing. =) That was an hour and a half ago. =) I'm kinda proud to have gotten this much. _

_M'kay, lots of loves, hope you did like it at least, remember:_

_Reviews are Love! _


	19. Chapter 19

I watched Sera as she rocked back and forth in Adam's chair. I hadn't seen my publisher in the flesh very many times, but as one of my greatest fans, she left quite an impression. I still occasionally have nightmares about the one time we met and she showed me her tattoo…

"You ever think that maybe you're just screwing it all up?" she asked, checking her nails with vague interest.

"Every day," I sighed. "Your point?"

"Oh, nothing," she said, shaking her head. "I was just thinking…your boy toy's going to hate you, Bobby's going to think you've gone insane and hate you as well for taking away his daddy privileges, everybody else for abusing your new powers like this. Honestly, what did you expect?"

"It'll all work out, you'll see," I told her simply. She rolled her eyes before disappearing into thin air. The bedroom door suddenly opened and Adam walked through, glistening with water, only covered by a towel. I had to take a moment and sigh at the sight of my incredibly gorgeous boyfriend.

For a long time, Adam and I just stared at each other. I just could never seem to figure him out. Though, I knew what was going on this time. Maybe I had crossed a boundary, but Adam needed this. He still had a lot of issues with John that he needed to come to terms with, whether he wanted to or not. Besides that, Mary and John were two of the best hunters who ever lived and we needed them.

"Hey, Chuck," Adam finally said. He walked over to his closet and pulled out a set of clothes which he tossed onto the bed. "So, I understand John, but who's the chick? Little sister or something?"

"Wife, actually," I shrugged. He looked up at me quizzically. "I know…she looks young. All the souls we told you about are in the forms of their hunter selves. Mary Winchester looks the same age as she did when she was still a hunter. It's kinda…weird."

Adam shook his head and I couldn't help but imagine that he was disappointed. He unwrapped the towel and tossed it onto the bed, looking up when he heard my breath hitch. The anger that might have been in his eyes disappeared as he smiled adoringly at me.

"Sorry," I said, averting my eyes.

"I think that's adorable," he chuckled. "After what we did today, you can still blush."

"Ask me if I'll ever sit again and you'll get a different story," I said quietly, unable to stop the smile that appeared on my face. Adam laughed once before pulling on his boxers and tee shirt.

"I need to sleep," he said, authenticating his words with a wide yawn. "Join me?"

"In a bit," I said, dreading ever leaving the room. "I should probably go take care of my mess downstairs."

"Don't be long," Adam said with slight worry in his voice. He laid down on the bed, pulling out the covers from under him. I walked over to the bed and pulled the blankets up to his chin while his eyes delicately fluttered shut. I silently walked out of the room, switching off the lights before shutting the door.

I found almost everybody in the living room, crowded around Mary where she lay on Bobby's couch. Jesse was probably still in his cabin, I'd heard Bobby talking to Adam about going to sleep earlier, and Crowley couldn't be expected to care, but they were the only ones missing. Castiel was watching everything from the corner with Becky, that same curious expression on his face he would always wear around Dean. John was kneeling beside Mary, holding her hand while Ash checked her vitals. Mary's bright blue eyes dreamily looked up at me as I entered the room.

"Johnny," she whispered, a wide smile appearing on her face. "It's the angel…told you he was watching our baby. He's glowing…" Everybody else looked up at me and I shifted awkwardly.

"No, sorry," I shrugged. I nodded towards Cas. "He's the angel, not me."

"Who the hell are you, anyway?" John said, narrowing his eyes at me. "You brought us back to life. How?"

"Get this, man," Ash said excitedly, patting John on the back. "_God_."

John stood up and took a few steps toward me in the way he did whenever he was hunting something. "Heal her," he said lowly. He had that same look in his eyes that I'd seen in Adam so many times. Fear, pain, love…more fear. "You say you're God? Then get over there and heal my wife."

"I…" I looked down at Mary who was getting paler by the second. I should have known I couldn't handle two resurrections at once, not so soon. "I'll try."

John and Ash stepped out of the way as I walked forward and kneeled by the couch. I hesitated slightly then placed one hand on the side of her face. I wondered if I had to concentrate on healing or if I could do it on a whim like with teleportation. Then I remembered the vision of Adam, how desperately I had wanted to heal him. A feeling of pure love warmed my heart and my palms started to glow a bright gold. Once it had disappeared, I removed my hands and stood back, watching expectantly. Mary's eyes blinked in a non-sleepy way and she frowned with confusion before sitting up. Becky clapped her hands excitedly and congratulated me in a swoonable voice while John ran over to pull Mary into his arms.

"John?" Mary whispered fearfully. "What's happening?"

"I don't know, sweetie," he said, brushing the hair away from her face. He turned towards me. "You mind shedding some light, friend?"

"Well…" I scratched the back of my head hesitantly. I really just wanted to get back to Adam. "That would mean explaining Mary's story to you, your story to her of what happened after she died and that won't make either of you happy. Then with everything else that's going on…it's kinda not fun."

"Hey, you're the one who brought us back," John pointed out. "I just think we're in the right to know why."

"Why did you, Chuck?" Becky asked from the corner. "I mean, I understand bringing back Mary, she's like the epic Winchester, but nobody really likes John. No offense, but he's kind of a douche."

"I'll take that," John shrugged while Mary punched him in the arm. They both giggled sweetly to each other.

"That's because you never met the real John," I told Becky. "I couldn't do him justice in my books because I was writing from Dean's perspective, but before the hunting, he was completely different."

Mary's head whipped towards John. "Did he just call you a hunter?"

John looked down at his hands with shame. "After you died—"

"You mean you raised our babies as _hunters_?" she said, horror dawning in her eyes.

"I think we should listen to Chuck, here," he said evasively, pointing to me with an innocent look in his eyes.

"Becky, could you go grab all the Supernatural you've got?" I asked. She nodded, wide eyed as she watched John and Mary bicker, and left the room. I turned my attention back to the couple, taking a deep breath. It would take a while to explain so maybe reading would help them along. God(I?) knows it helped Becky memorize the Winchester tale as though it was her own history.

Over an hour later, I was able to satisfy John and Mary knowing that their children were alive…again, and they would have time to sort things out for themselves. I showed them the nursery for Sam and Dean which I kind of felt bad about. Bobby was going to be so pissed at me. Then I told them that they could both have my bedroom and I gratefully shuffled over to Adam's room.

I carefully crawled into bed, not wanting to wake Adam, and relaxed against familiar pillows. I felt two arms circle my waist and pull me into a warm chest. I smiled and chuckled lightly as his lips traced my ear.

"Has the storm blown over?" he murmured.

"Not even," I laughed quietly. "But it's all good for now."

"Good." Adam rolled over so that he was straddling my lap as he leaned down to kiss me. "I prefer your attention to be undivided."

I didn't need to ask what he meant. His hand had already reached into my boxers and taken hold of me. His lips smothered the moan that worked its way up my throat and his hand masterfully worked at me, being soft and firm at just the right times to make a person want to scream. Adam only made it worse by grounding his hips down against me and he laughed at my efforts to hold back.

"They won't mind," he purred into my ear, making everything in my body jolt with pleasure.

At his words, I let all my muscles relax and all out screamed for him. In the moonlight, I saw the grin on his face and I couldn't help it. He brought me to the edge and I fell over, exploding all over his hand and my chest. I felt my face turn red as my chest heaved. Adam just laughed again and reached over to grab a tee shirt from the nightstand which he used to clean us up. Then he rolled onto his side and cradled my spent body in his arms.

"I love you," he whispered. I held onto him tightly, dreading the morning or anything having to do with getting out of bed.

The next day, we awoke to the smell of pancakes and bacon. We both got dressed and ran downstairs to see everybody crowded into the kitchen, not able to sit at the table since it was so piled high with food. Mary was skipping gleefully around the kitchen, easily maneuvering through all the people as she cooked. John followed her around like an obedient puppy, carrying a serving platter, piled with steaming foods, with his bare hands. As we entered, Mary turned towards us and grinned like a perfect Charlie's Angel.

"You must be Adam," she said, pointing with a spatula. She shot John a knowing look. "I believe we have a mutual ass of a family."

"I said I was sorry!" John whined, his arms shaking with the effort of holding up the platter. I wondered how long he had been doing that.

"Let's see how sorry you are when we get to lunch," Mary challenged.

Adam turned towards me and smiled slightly. "Okay…she's pretty cool," he admitted with a shrug.

"So, what's the plan for today?" Bobby asked, leaning against one of the counters as he packed his mouth full of pancakes.

"We could wake up the army," I suggested. "Set up all those cabins that Crowley stole."

"Hey, uh…" Ash said, a concerned expression on his face which seemed odd on such a happy-go-lucky person. "You think, maybe, Ellen and Jo are out there?"

"Yeah, I might have seen them," I nodded. "They're first in line, Ash, I promise."

He smiled with relief and looked down at his plate of food.

"So I've been reading those books, Chuck," Mary said as she flipped a few pancakes. She turned towards me and folded her arms, eyes narrowing. "You want to tell me why you deemed it necessary to share with the world who will be reading this gospel what my son does when he's naked?"

Adam choked on his own air and covered his mouth while my jaw dropped fearfully.

"It was part of the visions!" I said, holding my hands up innocently.

"You gotta admit," John said, "that stuff's pretty kinky."

"Uh oh…" Everybody looked over at Becky who had just paled. She covered her mouth and quickly tried to leave the room. "S'cuse me…"

We heard the retching noises as soon as she reached the hallway.

"Anybody care to explain that one to me?" Mary asked, tilting her head at the door where Becky had just disappeared. Everybody looked towards me expectantly.

Oh, fun day…


	20. Chapter 20

**Adam**

"Anybody care to explain that one?" Mary asked.

"Uhm…" Chuck had the awkward look again and I stifled a grin. How had John gotten this chick? She was _way _too awesome for him. "It's a long story?"

"We've got time," she shot back sweetly. I grinned. Up, _way _too awesome for John.

"Um… she's pregnant."

Mary nodded, still preparing food as she listened. "Go on?"

Chuck seemed to be struggling with a nice way to explain, so I took over. "It's a magical baby. As in, she didn't have sex to make it." Mary smirked at that.

"You sure about that?" She was smiling at me adorably and though her statement made me feel naïve I smiled back.

"Yeah. She's been trapped her with just us." Mary cocked her head, looking like a beagle/spaniel puppy- all sweet and loveable. "Trust me, none of us slept with her."

Now it was John's turn to look surprised. "But… she's the _only _girl…"

I smirked- maybe _that _was where Dean and I got the perversion from. "Cas was an angel, so he's our good boy," I said, shooting him a look saying _not _to disagree. The angels had told me John died saving Dean, so I wasn't sure how he'd feel about the scary Cas/Dean thing. Best not to mention it yet, I figured. "You obviously _know _Bobby…" Again, no need for details there. That was all Bobby's show. I probably wasn't supposed to know anyways. "Crowley's gay." That was just flat out _true. _"Jesse's too smart to go near Becky, and he's still getting over watching his sister, friend, and teacher all die painfully, as well as losing everyone he ever knew." Poor kid… it all sounded so much worse out loud. Mary looked horrified and John had a pained look- I guessed that he was remembering her death. "Ash hasn't been here long enough; she was pregnant before Chuck revived him." Ash was currently stuffing his face- literally- with syrup-and-whipped-cream-y pancakes. He had looked up at his name and now gave me a peace sign with his left hand: his right held the sticky plate and his mouth was occupied by the four or five pancakes trying to escape. "As for me and him," I said, pointing at Chuck, "we're together, so no worries there." Excluding the Dean and Cas happy time, but that had all been a giant, unhappy mistake for me. I really needed to just forget it.

John's brain had quite visibly stopped functioning at "together" and he stood frozen in the center of the kitchen. I smirked, glad that I'd shocked him. The bitter feelings were back to make things simple again. Chuck looked a combination of pleased and terrified- probably afraid of John killing him, but I'd never let that happen.

Mary just gave us a longer glance, interested, but still cheerful. "That's lovely, Adam," she told me. "I'm very happy for you." Sincerity outlined her words and they gave me a warm, fuzzy feeling. She took John's arm as she swept past him and he willingly began to follow once more, a puppy eager to please. "You two…?" I nodded. "But…" Mary smacked him on the arm. "Ow. That's… nice," he said vaguely. He didn't seem horribly disgusted, just very, very confused. A win in my book.

I took a muffin off the table and bit into it, amazed. "This is the best muffin I've ever had!" I said once I had swallowed. I mean, I'd grown up eating frozen meals, but _still. _

Mary all out beamed. "Thank you." She gave John a sharp poke in the stomach.

"What?" he asked, looking a bit panicked. "I complimented your cooking too!"

"I know. You just deserved the poke."

He thought for a moment. "Yeah, I guess."

I shoved the muffin into my mouth to muffle my laugh. Bobby was all out laughing. "I never thought I'd see the day John would admit defeat. Did any of you idjits record this priceless moment?"

Mary pointed the spatula she was holding at him. "I like you," she said decisively. "He needs more friends like you. How'd you two fall out, anyways?"

Bobby cast a scathing look at John. "I told him you wouldn't want to see those boys raised as hunters. He disagreed. Ended with me aiming a gun at his head telling him I'd shoot him if he came near me or my property again."

Mary shook her head, more in grudging acceptance than disbelief.

"You were right," John agreed in a bit of a whiney tone. "Kick a guy when he's down, huh? Plus, don't you think the threat on my life was a bit much?"

Mary gave him a dramatic sign. "Sweetheart, I love you, but at some point _everyone's _wanted to kill you." She kissed him. "You've just got to let them cool off."

Cas tilted his head. "I have never wanted to kill him."

Mary laughed. "You're too nice, then, or don't know him well enough yet."

"I said I was sorry!" John defended. Mary rolled her eyes.

"Sometimes it takes a few tries before you're forgiven," she lectured and he nodded like a meek child. "And there are _some _people you haven't talked to yet," she reminded, glancing at me. Wow, not so subtle.

"Uh, I'm just gonna… go now…" I said quickly. "Thanks for the food!"

"Sure thing!" Mary called at my retreating back.

Chuck caught up with me moments later, taking my hand tentatively. I held on, thankful for the offering.

"You'll have to talk to him eventually," Chuck prodded hesitantly.

"Maybe." I glared at the air before sighing. "Why did you bring him back?"

"Those two are a couple of the best hunters to ever live. Sam never got to say sorry- long story- and let everything out that he needed to say. Dean needs to get a good punch in there because of John messing with his head. But really?" He paused for a moment. "You need him."

"_Me? I _do not need _him." _

My boyfriend looked at me sadly. "You do, Adam. You just can't accept it yet."

"What gives you the right to decide, anyway?" I snapped. He looked like an abused puppy and I was instantly horrified. "I'm sorry! I didn't mean it!" We were outside by the cabins now, but we'd stopped walking.

He tried to smile and failed, only giving a weak grimace. "It's okay."

"It's not; I'm sorry!" I reached out and pulled him close, my head on his shoulder. "I'm sorry, I love you, I'm sorry…" I murmured.

I felt his hand on my cheek. "Really, Adam, it's fine."

I didn't agree with _that. _"I hurt you," I said sadly. Hurting him hurt me more deeply than anything had ever hurt me before. I felt sick inside.

"Look at me," he said. I grudgingly met his eyes. I only felt so much worse: the eyes were windows to the soul and right now I didn't feel worthy of even looking at his. "It's fine." He was sincere. "You didn't mean it." The regret was still there and it must have been plain in my expression because his next words were hard as stone. "It's _fine." _I couldn't agree. Instead of talking, which was useless to me right now as I wasn't seeking forgiveness, I kissed him.

It started out fueled solely by my guilt; as if he could sense that he only barely kissed back. Soon, however, the kiss deepened, fueled by love instead. Finally the kiss heated up, now fueled and raging with lust and desire. My tongue assailed his mouth, his own defending as he kissed back. He moaned into my mouth and I smiled. We both gave up on breathing; the kiss was more important: we couldn't part. My body was wildly in tune with his; each time we brushed against each other I was driven crazier. I pulled him completely against me with one arm, bringing my other hand up to run my fingers through his hair. I could feel that he was just as aroused as me and, if possible, that made me want him even more. His hand ran through my hair, caressed my face, and ran down my neck, my chest…

A loud cough shattered the moment and we broke apart, gasping for air. Not ready to lose contact I took his hand before looking to see who had interrupted us.

Of course. John. He stood there awkwardly with his hands in his pockets and his gaze firmly on the ground. A pink-red blush colored his cheeks.

"Was there something you wanted?" I asked coolly.

He looked up, relieved despite my cold demeanor. "Just wanted to talk to you…"

I sighed, wanting to say no right away, but instead I looked to my boyfriend. He squeezed my hand lightly before letting go. "You should talk to him," he advised quietly.

I was helpless to deny him anything right now, what with my guilt still being fed by how much I loved him. I wanted to keep him safe and happy; how could I have hurt him, even accidentally? I nodded, turning back to John. "Okay. We can talk."

Chuck quickly left us alone, heading for the main house, and we faced off: father versus son. I had been waiting for, and dreading, this moment since my resurrection. "Well?"

He didn't seem to know what to say now that he had my attention. "…I'm sorry," he said eventually.

"That's it?" He winced. "In this case, John, 'sorry' isn't enough."

"I know, but I owe the apology to you anyways." He shrugged. "I'm not good at this, Adam."

"At what?" I shot back. "Talking?"

"Life." He frowned. "It's no secret that I'm always screwing up. Even the psychotic prego girl knows it."

I nodded. "So… what? Am I supposed to take pity on you, forgive you because I've come to a new understanding? I can't do that."

He frowned even more and looked a bit hurt. "I know, but that is part of the explanation. I just…" He trailed off but was clearly thinking hard, so I held my silence. "That man. The… God one." I nodded, suddenly on alert. "Do you love him?" It wasn't a parental, worried question, nor was it a judgmental "you're too young to be serious" question. It was a genuine, soul-searching question, the kind that was meant to be answered honestly.

"With all that I am, I love him."

John nodded. "I guessed as much. You don't have that unsure look that most new couples have." I nodded; that didn't surprise me. I was surer of my love for Chuck than I had ever been of anything. "Could you imagine living without him?"

Just the words knocked all the air from my lungs. I wanted to puke or pass out, maybe both. I shook my head.

"I _love _Mary," he told me. "She _is _my entire world. You say you know the feeling? I had her taken from me. I had to watch as she burned alive in front of me, unable to save her." I was repulsed by the idea of that kind yet surprisingly badass woman coming to such a violent end. Considering that he loved her as much as I loved my sweet, adorably lame boyfriend I was scared to even think of my father's pain. "Do you understand?"

"Yes," I whispered, the word hanging in the crisp air of the cold morning. "But that still has nothing to do with me."

John shook his head. "Her death affected everything I did afterwards. I couldn't be a good father, Adam. I was driven by hatred of what had killed her and a need to avenge her death. Without that I would have fallen apart." Against my will I understood once more. "I am _so sorry _that I couldn't be there for you. I am so sorry that you ever felt alone, abandoned. I know you never believed anyone when they told you that by leaving you I was protecting you… but it is true. If you'll let me, may I explain?"

I frowned before nodding. "Fine."

The words poured from him like a flood. "I never wanted to make my boys into hunters; it just happened. I had to hunt, driven by that anger, and I couldn't just leave them behind. Dean was sad and lonely, missing his mom, and he was willing to do anything to get my attention. He became as much of a mini me as he could, and I let him. Sammy…. He was raised on the road and he hated it. Me, and by extension Dean, gave up on normal with Mary gone. My little Sam, though, never had a normal to give up on. It was all he wanted and I just couldn't give it to him, not without breaking myself. I started to hate myself for it and eventually that shattered any ties between me and him.

"But you… there was never a moment, Adam, that I didn't love you. I saw what you had- that life, school, friends, dreams, a _home- _and I realized that I _could _give you that. Why would I take from you what every kid needs? I wanted to keep you with me, Adam, _so _much. I just wanted you to be happy, safe, and secure even more."

He stopped talking, waiting for me to respond. "So… you expect me to believe that you left me… because you _loved _me?" The words were incredulous. I didn't know what part of this speech was the most insane.

He nodded slowly. "It's true. I was living on hate and it was destructive to everyone and everything around me. I didn't want to hurt you more than I had to." I said nothing and his eyes were sad. "I can't get back all of those years that I couldn't be your father, but I can try to be that now." It was a peace offering, but I couldn't take it.

"I… I can't. Can we try… just… I don't know... being acquaintances?"

His face had fallen at my refusal, but hope was relit now. "Whatever you want."

I nodded. "We done?"

He frowned but nodded. "Sure."

I felt obliged to give him a half smile before I wandered off looking for Chuck.

* * *

_AN: First- YAY YAY YAY YAY YAY! I got my computer back after only a day. Must give credit to Laura and boyfriend for debating skills. =) So, I can update again on my own. I wrote this chapter, however, while in computer exile last night, hope you like it? John got a bit carried away with his epic speech; I was trying to mix little John with hunter John and just... make daddy John. Ya know, the one in the first epi who was teasing Dean, "You think he can throw around a football yet?" "Nooooo, Daddy!" I loved that John. Anyways... oh, yeah, and the sorry thing... I was trying to **flow **and flowing just... reminds me of boyfriend... like everything else in the world... so Adam once more reflected me a bit with the hurt because of hurting the person he loves. =) _

_Yeah... That was long... No AN last chapter, though, so it seems fair. =) Reviews are love, and I love you all, so getting love back always makes Laura and I happy!_


	21. Chapter 21

**Chuck**

Things weren't exactly calm over the next few days, what with an entire army of pissed off hunters who eat like pigs coming to life. Thankfully, Crowley had thought to steal the cafeteria building from camp Chitaqua. But hundreds of food raids on nearby towns and city later, and many more explanations of the situation, everybody began to get comfortable. I noticed that we had become a lot like a tightly packed community of people. It reminded me a lot of the town of hunters where Sam and Dean met the Whore…except, not as insanely bent on Paradise.

At least things inside Bobby's house weren't as tense as I thought they would be with John around. It had been too long since anyone had seen it, but John's happiness was really contagious. Between Mary, Sam, Dean, and attempting to win over Adam, there was hardly a moment when John wasn't smiling like his pre-hunter self. On rare occasions I even caught Adam laughing at his jokes, though he stubbornly refused to admit it. But for once, things were happy again. And the Sunday after the resurrection binge that took place in the front yard, I had worked up my God-skills to a point where I could create even more happiness.

It felt like a séance, sitting on a circular rug while everybody stood back against the walls of the living room, watching like I was the most fascinating thing in the world. Bobby, John and Mary who were holding the newborns, Adam, Ash, Becky, and even Crowley had gathered for the occasion. I stared right at Cas who was nervously looking around. I couldn't help remembering his face when facing down a prostitute that he wasn't supposed to smite.

"Maybe it's not such a good idea," Cas gulped, reaching up to adjust the collar on his faded tee shirt. "I mean, you could be defective…or something."

"Would you relax?" Adam said, rolling his eyes. "Chuck's fine."

I looked over at him, but I saw the worry on his face. He smiled halfheartedly, showing that he was going to trust me even if this stuff scared him. I looked back over to Cas who seemed to be on the brink of hyperventilation.

"Cas, I can do it, really," I said, glad that my voice did give me away. He shut his mouth as though to say that he was feeling more confident; unfortunately, it made his eyes go scary wide like he was trying to read my mind for a bad psychic act.

"Okay…what do I do?" he said.

"Nothing," I shrugged. "I'll summon the grace out of all the supernatural element in the area and then put into you."

"Yeah…still don't get how that works," Mary said with a frown, shaking her head.

"Blondie, he's already explained it twenty times, just let the boy get on with it," Crowley muttered bitterly.

"I was busy with diaper duty," she shot at him, holding Dean up for proof. "So unless you'd like to see the almighty wrath of a Winchester's crap, I suggest you shut it."

Crowley frowned at her while everybody else snickered. I saw Bobby give Mary a low five behind their backs.

"Anybody who's ever had an encounter with things…beyond us, carries that essence with them forever," I said slowly, not exactly sure how I was capable of coming up with such an insane theory myself. "Now that these powers are more mature, I have the capability to tap into that essence and bring it all together to create a grace. And since everybody around here is a hunter, they've got plenty of the essence so it should work…I think."

"Wait, you _think_?" Cas nearly screeched.

"So, shall we get on with it?" I said loudly.

I held both my hands out and took a deep breath while Castiel leaned away uncomfortably. I pictured those cheap TV shows with bad graphics where magic was just neon sparkles, but I doubted that was how it really worked. Then I realized I wasn't exactly sure what I was supposed to think about. I'd spent all my time pondering why it would work, not how it initially started. The longer I sat there, staring at my empty palms, the more I realized how I was in over my head. My goal here was to _create_ an _angel_ just using the materials around me. It dealt with Supernatural properties I couldn't even comprehend, yet, I apparently created them…it made my brain hurt.

As those last thoughts appeared in my head, all the lights in the house suddenly flickered. A strange noise echoed all around, like something spiraling towards something else. I don't know if anyone other than Crowley, Castiel, or me could see it because we were the only ones looking it at, but something like glowing dust flowed from everybody and towards me, gathering on my hands. It all became so much that I had to put my hands together because it was just too heavy. Then it stopped all at once. The lights turned off completely and a cold chill filled the room. But in my hands like a pool of water was a glowing blue light.

"Is that it, then?" Crowley said, frowning. "I thought it would be…scarier."

"How does it work?" Bobby asked, ignoring Crowley. "Does he have to eat it or something?"

Castiel reached out, his eyes transfixed on the grace. He looked up at me and hesitated for a moment.

"You sure you're ready for this?" I asked quietly.

"Being separated from it has always been wrong," he whispered, his voice full of longing. I'd seen him look at Dean the way he stared at that blue light many times. "I've missed it so much…"

"It's a scary thing, I know," I said. "We could bottle it up like Anna's was, if you'd like. Save it for when you're really ready."

"He's ready now," said Adam. I looked up and saw him staring at us with a kind of angry confusion, but I didn't have the energy to think of why.

"He's right," Castiel said, gulping loudly. "We all need a miracle right now."

Without a second thought, he had reached out to the grace and taken hold of it. The whole house shook as the light expanded, filling the whole room. I vaguely heard Cas shout for everyone to close their eyes since the grace was letting out a high pitched screech. Then I heard Crowley scream for some reason, and it all disappeared. The lights in the house came back on and the unfamiliar chill had gone away. Unfortunately, so had Crowley and Castiel.

"Where'd they go?" Becky asked, looking all around.

"Chuck," Bobby said expectantly. "Where did you send him?"

"Who?" I asked as all my thoughts began to slur as though I hadn't slept in days. "Crowley?"

"No, you idjit," he said, taken aback. "Cas…I mean, who cares about Crowley? He's a demon…where's the freakin' angel?"

"I dunno," I shrugged before yawning widely.

"You alright, Chuck?" Adam asked just as a loud bang sounded at the front door.

"What was that?" Becky asked fearfully, jumping back a few feet.

"Relax, it's probably just the other hunters," Mary said, patting Becky on the shoulder. "I mean, that wasn't exactly quiet, was it?"

"I'll go take care of the hoard," Bobby muttered before shooting a glare towards me. "_Find him_."

"Okly dokey," I slurred, my eyes drooping fast. I felt a pair of hands pull me to my feet and lead me away. I didn't need to be God to know that it was Adam. He continued to lead me away, but I fell asleep before we hit the stairs.

I awoke sometime really late at night, or super early in the morning. I looked to the side and saw Adam, peacefully asleep, on arm draped across my chest. I gently slid away from him, trying to let him keep his rest, and got out of bed. I left the room and quietly snuck downstairs, cringing every time the stairs creaked beneath my feet. When I reached the living room, I stopped at the entryway.

"Is it everything you remember it being?" I asked. Castiel barely tilted his head to acknowledge my presence.

"Better," he said in a whisper. "I can hear the heartbeat of every human in the area…I can feel them breathing; see into their dreams if I want to. Chuck, it's amazing…"

"Sounds better than drugs," I said, nodding. "What are you going to do now that you've got your angel juice back?"

"I'll begin with the towns we raid," he said, finally turning to face me. "It may take a while, but I'll eventually seek out everyone who has been infected and purge them of the illness, or destroy them if I can't. It will be safer to go on raids then, or even use the town itself. Less crowded here."

"Sounds like a good start," I agreed.

"Thank you, Chuck," Castiel said, walking towards me and placing his hands on both my shoulders. "You have given me more than I could have asked for in a thousand human lifetimes. But now I must go do what I can to help."

"I understand, really," I said quickly. "You go…purge."

He nodded and disappeared a moment later.

"Is he gone?" I turned around and saw Crowley peeking out from the top of the stairway. "I thought he'd never leave."

"What happened to you?" I asked with a frown. "You just left."

"Too much contradiction of power in one room," he shrugged, descending the stairs. "It was nothing."

"Huh…Bobby was pissed," I said, thinking the demon probably should have a little warning. "I think he missed you."

"Really?" Crowley said, pausing for a moment. "I mean…not that it matters what that fat lug thinks anyway…just curious…was he really?"

I rolled my eyes and walked past him, towards the stairs, suddenly feeling a little sleepy again.

"Chuck!" Crowley whined. "What did that old git say?"

"G'night, Crowley," I muttered, walking into my room.

I looked down at the bed and saw Adam curled up in the fetal position, twitching now and then as if in a terrible nightmare. I wished I could make it go away, so I walked over to the bedside and placed my hand on the side of his head. I instantly felt his night terrors cease and a small smile spread on his lips. I crawled into bed beside him, instantly falling back asleep.

* * *

_AN: Wasn't that cute? Castiel is an angel once more... is anyone else sad about that? I mean, I'm happy, but... I miss our human ex-angel. I guess I'm just worried that the Destiel won't be the same. ~shrug~ Reviews are love! Tell Laura how much we love her!_


	22. Chapter 22

**Adam**

I woke up to the sound of crying, muffled by the closed door of my room. It didn't sound very loud to begin with, but there were only two babies in the house, and both were my brothers, so I quietly slipped out of bed. I glanced back at Chuck, sleeping peacefully, and my heart gave a small tug. I didn't really want to leave that bed just yet, but with a sigh I headed out into the hall.

The crying didn't come from the nursery but from downstairs, so I headed there instead. I realized that I knew the house well enough now that even in the dark I could make my way through without worry of bumping into things. When had Bobby's place started to become more of a home than the place I'd grown up?

I found Mary in the living room. She was walking in circles around the furniture, cooing and singing lullabies to the babies. She had one in each arm- and damn she had to be strong, because those kids were freaking _heavy- _and was attempting to rock them both. Baby Sam looked to be asleep, but Dean was still crying. "Need some help?"

Mary looked up at me and her face shone. "Adam! Thank you!" She came to stand in front of me and gently passed baby Sammy from her arms to mine. "What has you up so early?"

I shrugged, making sure that the movement didn't wake my sleeping brother. "I could hear Dean crying and I thought I'd check on them."

When she heard that Mary gave me a truly angelic smile. "You're quite the big brother, aren't you?"

I gave her a half smile and a shrug. "Not really, but they tried to help me out for as long as they could and I sort of betrayed them. I'm just trying to do my best to make up for it."

"I know," she said. "I read everything; Chuck didn't want to explain it." She tilted her head, the cocker spaniel look crossing her face again. I was beginning to learn that she gave it to everyone she considered family. "I don't think you betrayed them. I doubt they did either."

I shrugged. "Dean did. We're even." She shot me a questioning look. "That's a long and… well, it's a story that's meant to be forgotten."

She gave a quiet, tinkling laugh that sounded like bells. "He can be a handful," she agreed. As if he knew that we were talking about him Dean had quieted a bit and was looking between us curiously. I gave him a smile and he hiccupped, giggling directly after. I couldn't help but laugh, if only for a moment. "You're good with him," Mary observed.

I shrugged, not really agreeing. "I like little kids." I noticed the dark circles under her eyes. "How long have you been awake?"

"A few hours? As long as he's been crying."

"Why didn't you ask John to help?" I asked, confused. "Even I know he would." I'd seen how devoted he was to his wife and it went a long way towards making me forgive him, even if it was just a little.

"He's been on baby duty the past few nights," she explained. "He needed the sleep even more than me. I had to practically threaten him to make him go back to sleep." I grinned at the thought of this fiery woman threatening my father.

"Do you want me to take him? Sam's asleep, and I can handle just the one baby."

"Oh, would you?" No one had ever looked at me with so much relief before. I really liked Mary; who could say no to those eyes, anyways?

"Of course." We traded babies and Dean started wailing again. Mary looked worried once more, glancing between us. "He'll calm down," I assured her. "I think I know what the problem is, anyways."

"What is it?" I debated telling her, but I knew that Dean would kick my ass in the future, when he was bigger, if I did.

"Secret," I said with a shrug. "It's just a Dean thing from before."

She frowned but nodded. "Alright. I'll let the secrecy go just this once as a brother thing." She glanced at the stairs longingly, weariness starting to take over her expression now that she didn't have anything to keep her awake. "You're _sure _you can handle him?"

"Promise."

She started to leave at that, but she turned back to kiss my cheek. "You're a good boy, Adam."

I nodded, trying to pretend that I couldn't feel the tears starting to well up. She was acting like a mother to me, adopting me into her ramshackle family, and I didn't think that I deserved it. I almost felt guilty to my own mother for loving Mary this much, but… it couldn't be helped. I could love them both, right?

Baby Dean was still crying, more quietly now as if it was just to get my attention. He was watching me with scarily wise eyes; he knew that I knew what he wanted. I could feel that it this was his way of telling me to get it for him because he wasn't old enough to yet.

Or maybe I was going crazy and he was just a baby with colic that couldn't sleep.

I sighed and lifted him to eye level? "Hm… Do you want what I think you want? Blink once." He blinked… like five times. "Okay. Do I take that as a yes or a no?" He didn't blink at all, staring at me. He was now silent as if he was watching me to see what crazy thing I'd do next. "Yeah, that's a no." He started crying again. "A yes?" Dammit, no change. "Fine, you little brat, just shut up so I can think!"

I think I may have scared him- scaring Dean Winchester? How weird…- because he quieted, watching me expectantly. Or, again, maybe I was just crazy. Either way, I started to pray. Not to God; that would sort of be pointless considering that God was sleeping upstairs, currently human. Currently mine.

No, I was praying to someone much harder to find, and much less likely to hear me. After a few minutes passed, I didn't necessary give up, as I had nothing better to do until the baby was asleep, but my legs and arms were growing tired. How did Mary manage to be a mom full time? I could barely be a brother for ten minutes! I sat down in one of the chairs and went back to my previous task of praying. After that I wasn't sure how long it took, but eventually my eyes had closed. I didn't know if Dean was awake now or asleep: he wasn't crying or moving, but it felt like he was still staring at me. Dude, was this kid a creeper or what? Finally, however, I could feel the change in the room. I opened my eyes and, sure enough, the person I'd been praying to stood there.

"You called?"

I nodded. He wasn't looking at me anyways, but at the baby I held. Little Dean was almost asleep, but his eyes had turned and fixed on the newcomer, his little hands opening and closing as they tried to reach. He couldn't though; he was simply too tired from the hours and hours of squirming and crying. Babies weren't meant to have that kind of stamina, anyways. "He's been crying. For hours. He missed you."

"He is too young to remember people."

I shrugged. "Then maybe he can just feel that he's missing something? Either way, he's happy now that you're here." I looked up and met the angel's curious blue eyes. "No feelings again?"

Castiel shook his head. "It took thousands of years for me to gain feelings last time."

I raised my eyebrows. "I hope it doesn't take that long again." He didn't answer. I glanced down at the baby. He looked up at me with pleading eyes, mouth opened to an O. He was too tired to wail, and for once I felt pity on the pair. "Do you want to hold him? You haven't seen him much since John and Mary came back… not at all since you became an angel again."

To my surprise Cas shied away when I held the baby out. "No. I should return to where I was before."

"What were you doing?" I asked, cradling my baby brother safely to my chest once more.

"Purging souls. Destroying souls. Whatever was necessary to remove the danger."

"That's… interesting, I guess," I said slowly. "The souls you destroy, do they go to heaven or hell?"

Castiel shrugged. "The virus changes nothing. They go wherever they were destined to before."

A silence hung in the room. I could tell he wanted to leave, but he was bound by the presence of the infant, just like me. Somehow Dean was still hanging on to consciousness, staring at the angel with sad, sad eyes. "Please take him?" I all but begged. "He misses you. You may not believe it, but I can tell."

The angel shook his head, a flicker of fear on his features.

"Why not?" I asked, almost angry now. "You can't just… make him love you and then ignore him. It's cruel!"

Castiel fixed a cold, stony glare on his face. "I may do as I please, Winchester, and you had better understand that right now. I am an angel of the Lord."

I grinned. "That would have worked so well if I wasn't, ya know, sleeping with the person who's become that Lord, Cas. Things change." I looked down at Dean, who was starting to cry again. God, where did this kid get his strength of will? I saw a flicker of doubt cross Cas's face when he heard the sound and I used it to my advantage. "Just take him." I shoved the baby at him, letting go before Cas even really had hold. He caught Dean fast, just as I knew he would, and cradled him just as protectively as I had moments before. "See?" Dean had stopped crying instantly, snuggled closer to Cas's chest, and fallen fast asleep. "I told you so." Probably not the wisest thing to say to a being that could smite me, but whatever. He was staring down at the baby with the same love as before, just as I'd guess would happen. He'd only been afraid of feeling, but that was the effect Dean had. "Can you watch him until his parents wake up? Then you can go back to… ya know… smiting the crap out of evil little croats and all."

He frowned at my description but nodded.

"'Kay. Night, Cas."

"Goodnight, Adam."

I didn't think he'd leave again, not unless he was forced to. He was once more wrapped around my big-little brother's pinky finger. Things were back the way they belonged.

I climbed back into bed next to Chuck and wrapped my arms around him, content to fall asleep once more.

* * *

_AN: I am high on coffee and scared all my sissy's friends. =) The joys of life. Um, Laura originally posted this but I wanted to put an An on. 'Cause I'm like that. So, yeah, I wrote this whole thing on writer's block... I wanted my Cas back. Dean needed him. _

_Reviews are love! (sorry I left Jesse out again... luvs you though!)_


	23. Chapter 23

**Chuck**

"Hold still, or lose an ear," I said threateningly, brandishing my shears. Adam's eyes widened dramatically as he shrank away from me. I grinned victoriously and began snipping away at his hair which had grown an inch and a half since being released from Michael. He shut his eyes tightly as his precious hair began falling all around his face.

The haircut had been a last minute thing, but it's all Adam's fault for pointing out that he needed one while looking in the mirror. We'd been in the middle of getting dressed after…stuff, and he'd said it at random. We were both only in jeans, except I'd gotten a bit farther and managed to zip mine up before straddling him on the wooden chair. His counter attack was to feel me up and kiss my stomach all over while I desperately tried not to stab his head. I had almost finished the haircut when the door to our room suddenly opened and Jesse gasped, quickly covering his eyes.

"Sorry!" he shouted unnecessarily loudly. "I didn't—I just—sorry!"

"And he finally realized the usefulness of the age old tradition practiced by humans for many centuries," Adam said in a slightly irritated voice. He looked up at me and shrugged lightly. "Knocking. What do you want, Jesse?"

"Bobby sent me," Jesse said, not removing his hand from his eyes. "There's something going on at the entrance of the gate. He says we need your godliness."

"Of course he did," I muttered. "Do you know what's happening?"

"Nope," he said, shaking his head as best he could with the hand on his face. "I was on my way over to look when Bobby stopped me. He says I'm supposed to escort you so that you don't get…distracted."

I felt bad for the poor kid, turning paler by the second, but I couldn't help laughing alongside Adam right there. I finished snipping up the last few tufts of hair left untouched on his head and blew the hair away from his face. Then we both stood up and finished getting dressed.

Outside, we found that all the cabins had been abandoned. Everybody was running towards the big crowd that had gathered at the perimeter gate that Crowley had set up. We had to push and shove our way to the front, past all the hunters who had their self importance, thinking they needed to be included in everything that happened. I guessed that they hadn't been part of a community for a long while and didn't know what it was like to have to finally play by the same rules as everybody else.

Bobby eventually rooted us both out of the crowd and pulled us to the clear area at the front. John, Mary, Ellen(I'd resurrected her only hours ago), and Ash were ushering people back so that they wouldn't crowd the gate.

"Bobby, what's happening?" Adam asked.

"Somebody showed up at the gate this morning," Bobby said. He turned towards me with a knowing look. "They say they want to speak with the prophet."

I looked behind Bobby towards the gate and saw the group of five standing calmly among the trees on the other side. Three men and two women, one of whom looked straight at me and tilted her head curiously.

"Chuck, what do you think?" Adam asked, placing a soothing hand on my shoulder.

"I can't get a read on them," I said, frowning. "Usually I can know a lot about somebody new just by looking, but not them. Adam, would you mind doing the talking?"

"Sure thing," he nodded.

"Good luck, and be careful," Bobby warned before going to help everybody with crowd control. I heard him shout for everybody to shut up and the area went deadly silent.

I looked back at the suddenly still group of people which seemed unnatural for a group of hunters. Adam took my hand and I looked up at him. He seemed confident enough to steal my uncertainty as we walked forward towards the gate. We stopped a foot away from the metal net and the newcomers stepped right up to us on the other side. I stood directly behind Adam as though I was hiding and leaned my head down, concentrating on the people.

"Can I help you with something?" Adam asked.

"Are you the prophet Chuck?" the man asked. He was obviously the leader, appearing to be the strongest and the smartest looking of the bunch.

"Yes," Adam said curtly. "Can I help you with something?"

"We've come for the prophet," he said in a voice that clearly stated he didn't buy the ruse. "We've been sent by the archangels to escort him to their headquarters so that they may…discuss plans for the future."

I leaned in close to Adam so that my lips were against his neck. His head barely twitched towards me to show that he noticed. So I whispered, barely mouthing the word, "Liar."

"Well, friend, sorry for all the trouble you must have gone through to get here, but you might as well turn your asses around and be on your merry way because nobody here's going anywhere with you," Adam said, folding his arms. I couldn't help but feel a swell of pride in my chest.

"I'm terribly sorry, _friend_," he said with a hint of a smile creeping on his face like something from a freaky nightmare, "but we're not leaving without our package."

"Then you're going to be standing over there for a very long time because I'm not leaving," Adam said forcefully. The man's smile grew wider.

"They're not here for the prophet…" I stated flatly as the truth dawned on me. "this is just a distraction.

The man we had been speaking to twitched his head and his followers began to run away. I held my hand up and the man froze, eyes wide and bulging. A thick stream of black smoke ran out of his mouth and flowed towards the ground where it burned the Earth as it disappeared.

"They're demons?" Adam said, frowning. I didn't have e time to nodded, just destroyed one demon after another as they ran away at superhuman speed. The only one who got away was the woman who had been staring at me.

"John, Mary!" I shouted, turning away from the gate. "Get to the house, _now!_"

I grabbed onto Adam and teleported, dragging him with me. A moment later we had appeared in Sam and Dean's nursery, but there was somebody already there. Another demon, eyes pure black, grinning victoriously as he stood over the crib with a bloody dagger in his hand. I held out my hand and clenched my fist, killing the demon with as much pain as I could deliver.

"Chuck…" I looked over at Adam who was peering over the crib, quickly turning pale. I walked over to his side, then took a step back.

Sam and Dean were perfect twins, side by side, eyes wide open. Identical slices ran down their plump baby bellies, allowing their insides to spill outside, staining the entire crib red. In an odd, sick way, the picture seemed…beautiful, as though it had been created for art rather than destruction. My stomach turned over with self disgust.

Then I heard the most earsplitting, heartbroken screech ever created. I doubted even the angels could make such a soulful sound. I turned in time to see Mary stumbling backwards into John's arms. A moment later, they had both collapsed to the ground, stuck between hyperventilating and scream/crying.

"Fix them," Adam said in a squeak as a river of tears ran down his cheeks. He looked up at me with wide, shining eyes. "Chucky…please…my brothers…"

He could barely get the words out, but I knew what he was asking of me. I nodded eagerly and turned back to the twins. I placed my fingers on both their heads and closed my eyes, letting every love-filled memory flood through my mind. Everything warmed up in a fluffy clouds and rainbows kind of way. I heard the sloshing noises as the intestines were righted and I felt it through my hands as life returned to those tiny bodies.

I opened my eyes as John and Mary both snatched the boys up and smothered them with kisses and sweet cooing noises. Adam's arms wrapped around me from behind and his lips pressed to my neck.

"Thank you…" he whispered. I smiled, glad that I had been able to create so many smiles in a few short days. But then my heart began to sink. I was already so powerful…but apparently not enough to save him.

"The demons know about Sam and Dean now," Mary said, wiping away her tears as she cradled Dean in her arms. "They're going to keep coming in greater numbers and smarter plans. We need to find out why they want them dead this time and how to stop them. Chuck…we need a miracle."

"We need Sam and Dean," I nodded, realizing what she was saying.

"Everybody needs Sam and Dean," John said, frowning. "Just ask anybody around this place, they're like the light at the end of the tunnel. Without them…I just can't imagine it."

"Yeah, but we can't protect them like this forever," Adam said darkly. "As they get older, we won't be able to keep an eye on them as much. Eventually…the demons will have their way."

How could both Winchesters be so blind to what Mary was so bluntly asking?

"We need the real Sam and Dean," I said forcefully. "We need the hunters who are more capable than everybody outside put together. We need the Sam and Dean who can protect themselves…the ones who can change their own diapers."

"You mean…no more babies?" John asked with that lost puppy look that I was so fond of seeing on Sam's face.

"No more babies, John, I'm sorry," Mary said, taking her husband's hand. "At least _you_ got to watch them grow up and raise them wrong."

John hushed at that, bowing his head shamefully. Adam removed his arms from my waist, taking my hand instead.

"So, what are you thinking?" he asked. "Speed up their internal time?"

"Something like that," I shrugged.

Everybody looked towards the infants who were sleeping peacefully in their parents' arms. Nobody had to say it, but I knew it. The babies were much better company than the real Sam and Dean and we would all miss just watching them sleep, even if that made everyone in the house freaks. But they knew I was right and what had to be done.


	24. Chapter 24

**Adam **

In a mean way, I liked my brother so much better as babies. Really, everyone except _maybe _Castiel and Becky did. But these were the kind of sacrifices that just had to be made in times like these; the crib was still dripping with blood and the heavy, oppressive metallic sent of it filling the room.

I held out my arms in a silent plea and Mary didn't hesitate to pass me the small baby in her arms. Both were too blood soaked for their shredded onesies to be distinguishing anymore, but this infant blinked up at me with hazel eyes. Sammy seemed scarily peaceful considering that all of his insides had been outside of his body a few minutes ago. I cradled him gently and wished once more that we didn't need to do this. I reached out with my free arm and watched from the corner of my eye as John hesitated. He kissed baby Dean on the forehead before relinquishing him to me. I smiled down at my brother and received an innocent, care-free smile back. I'd miss that happiness these babies so easily displayed; their older selves were too haunted by their past to truly smile very often. Ignorance, for them, was bliss.

I looked over at Chuck. "How does this work?"

He shrugged. "Not really sure. I think…" He trailed off and I could practically see the gears turning in his brain as it worked through a new concept. "I think that it's sort of like controlling the universe." His eyes were closed as he spoke, his expression entirely relaxed. He was locked far away in his mind, almost entirely unaware of us or the outside world. "It's sort of like… like I have to gather up each part of the universe that they effect. Then I have to isolate those parts from the rest of it so that I can erase the current… path of fate, I suppose, that they are set on for the future. That way I can manipulate time as it relates to them and make them older without clashing the existing destiny and the new one and throwing the universe off balance." His eyes opened and he blinked up at me languidly. "Does that sound right?"

I nodded. "Sort of, in a weird way. So you're erasing the future for a few moments?" He nodded hesitantly. "Well, it's worth a try and all."

John was frowning awkwardly. "Isn't that really hard to do?"

Chuck laughed shortly. "Nearly impossible."

John frowned awkwardly. "I'll just leave you to that, then. Wouldn't want to distract you and mess it up or anything…" He forced himself to look optimistic (and failed) as he waved before practically running off.

Mary gave me a quick hug before following. "Tell them I'm downstairs?" she whispered, tears sparkling in her eyes. As she swept off, I realized that this was less bitter for her than it was for John or me. She hadn't met her adult sons yet, hadn't been able to talk with them, be hugged by them…. I wondered idly if she'd be disappointed.

"One at a time or both at once?" I asked, looking at Chuck again as Mary vanished from sight.

"Both at once," he said quietly, staring at the boys. "I think I should do it all at once, I might have a better chance of succeeding." He sunk down to the floor, leaning on the wall, and looked up at me with scared eyes. "I don't know if I can do it."

I sat down next to him and kissed his cheek. "You can, I know it." He'd turned to look at me and I kissed him gently, trying to convey all of my faith in him through it. "I'll be right here the whole time." He nodded and looked the tiniest bit more confident, maybe.

"I'm going to be really spent if," he caught my eye and hastily rephrased, "_when _I manage it. Don't be worried if I'm out for… well, a really, really long time."

I could feel my brow furrow. "You sure you want to do this?"

He nodded, and strangely that question seemed to give him the determination he'd needed. "Yeah, we need them back." I nodded and balanced both babies on one arm and my knees, reached out and taking his hand with my free one.

"Ready?"

He shrugged. "Now or never." He closed his eyes and leaned his head back, the thoughtful calmness taking over his expression once more. After a few minutes I could feel the tingles of magical energy prickling at my hand as it raced through him, rushing to work its way through the universe to do whatever he wanted. It was moments like these that I wondered how the hell life had gotten this screwy and why I didn't mind it more.

I could feel when they started to change. They were getting steadily heavier at first, then getting taller and starting to define. I honestly didn't want to be crushed, so I carefully set them down on the floor and let them change. Luckily they seemed to be unconscious; no bones were meant to grow at that rate, nor was skin meant to stretch that much, that quickly. It didn't look _sickening _per se, but it was not the happiest of processes to oversee. I closed my eyes, not wanting to look, and just focused on the breathing of Chuck beside me. I gently traced circles on his hand to let him know, wherever he was, that I was keeping my promise and that I was there for him. A few minutes passed before two things happened simultaneously: Chuck collapsed against my shoulder and two people sat up quite loudly, gasping as if they'd been drowning. I opened my eyes and spared my older brothers half a glance before turning to my boyfriend. He was breathing quietly and a bit too slowly for my liking, but the breaths weren't uneven or shallow so I guessed that he was okay. I'd get Ash to make a second diagnosis later. I put my arms around him and pulled him closer to me before looking back to my brothers.

"Adam?" Sam was the first to stop looking wildly around and focus on the room, then on me. "What's going on?"

I shrugged. "Depends on what you remember."

He shot me a glare that clearly said that the explanation wouldn't change just based on what he told me unless it wasn't true, but I just made a mock pissy face back and he unintentionally smiled. "Mostly just saying yes and then a lot of blurry, almost trippy half formed memories. What happened?"

Dean was listening now, so I turned to him. "What do you remember?"

He half frowned, visibly working through his most current memories. "Saying yes, wandering, and then… you know…"

My stomach sunk. I did know, no matter how much I tried to forget. I glared intensely at him. His eyes were watching Chuck and me, calculating, and I watched realization dawn in them. I didn't want to discuss it, though, so I prompted, "And then?"

He shrugged, "Not much. It gets a bit unclear after that, just like Sammy's."

I nodded. "Then you only missed the part where your bodies were reborn for you and you took possession of them shortly after. So, you know, you've been babies for a couple of weeks now." I let that sink in before dropping the bomb. "Oh, and um, John and Mary are back."

Sam's jaw dropped. "Dad?"

Dean's eyes had grown larger than any human eyes I'd ever seen. "_Mom?" _Again with the reverence. I liked Mary, though, so I understood it. I nodded slowly, watching their shock fade. "Where are they?" Dean demanded and I sulked at him.

"I liked you better when you couldn't talk." Sam snorted and Dean whacked him over the head. "There's more info, unless you want that later?"

"Later." It was Sam who'd broken in. "Please, Adam, where are our parents?" He looked like an eager puppy, and I had nothing against Sam anyways. Plus, I hadn't made amends with him yet, but he didn't seem to be angry with me.

"Downstairs." He nodded and stood up, giving Dean a hand. He offered me one and hesitated, seeming to see Chuck for the first time. I could see that he didn't want any distractions from just rushing down the stairs to see two of the three or four people he loved most in the world, but his helpful side won the battle. "Do you need a hand?" I used the wall as a balance to stand, pulling Chuck carefully up with me. He wasn't very heavy, so I shook my head.

"No, I'm fine. Go see your mom." His face lit up and he nodded, bolting out the door. Dean had already disappeared.

I sighed in relief at the silence before I started slowly making my way down the hall, half carrying and half dragging Chuck along with me. I left him in our room, tucked into our bed, and headed downstairs to watch the family reunion. My mind was still straying from my brothers as I headed down the stairs, contemplating where Ash could be and how soon I could escape to get him to check on Chuck.

The happily family scene in the living room was momentarily distracting. Dean hugging Mary, Sam hugging John and babbling out an apology that I didn't understand. John was choking back tears and Mary was all out crying. I was pretty sure Dean was crying too, my tough as nails big brother finally breaking down, but I couldn't be sure because he was facing away from me. Bobby was off to the side like me, watching proudly and smiling but looking a bit sad and lost as well. He met my gaze and nodded, silently offering me a place beside him. I gladly took it, a slight feeling of belonging somewhere making me feel a bit better.

When the family became slightly more aware the boys started trying to act a bit tougher and more in control. "So, what _is _going on?"

"You didn't tell them?" Mary asked me, not even really incredulous, just disbelieving.

"They wanted to see you both first," I said with a shrug. "It's not like I didn't _try." _

"What is it?" Sam asked, but Dean was checking his pockets- as if there'd be anything _in _them? Idjit…

"Where's the knife?"

Bobby pulled it from his own pocket and tossed it to Dean. "Thanks, Bobby."

"Idjit," Bobby said fondly. I gave Dean a cheeky grin and he rolled his eyes, muttering what looked like "little brothers" under his breath. Now that I had him tangibly back it was hard to stay angry.

"So, there are demons after you," I said, just putting it out there. "They kind of… killed you. Brutally."

Dean frowned. "Then how the hell are we _here?" _

"Chuck's God," Bobby told them. I felt a small surge of pride at their confused expressions.  
"Chuck?" Dean asked blankly. "Like, the prophet, Chuck?" I nodded. "How?"

I shrugged. "It's some complicated explanation about how God- the before God- gave up and Chuck was the only person capable of becoming the new God due to his 'prophet powers'," here I rolled my eyes- that was still utterly ridiculous-, "so the angels just kinda… gave him the powers. It almost killed all the human in him, but then I made a deal with Crowley that sort of bound him in human form until he dies."

"That's freaking insane," Dean muttered, shaking his head. "We're screwed."

"Hey!" I defended, "He's doing well so far!" I noticed that John was staring at me with horror. "What?"

"You made a _deal?" _I swore I could see his heart breaking in his eyes.

I felt a purely teenage panic, like I was scared of being in trouble and getting grounded. It made me point fingers instantly at Bobby. "He did it too!"

John rounded on him, thoroughly pissed. Dean stood back to enjoy the show, smirking at me with a "you're gonna get it now" expression. Sam looked a bit worried, and Mary just frowned at them. She hated it when they argued which, unfortunately for her, happened pretty often. "Great example you're setting for my boys here, Bobby!"

"Hey!" Bobby yelled back. He was all red in the face and looked angry. "If memory serves you made a deal with _Azazel, _so ya don't have the right to talk."

John wilted and pouted like a six year old. "Fine."

Mary had opened her mouth to speak but she shut it abruptly. "Nope, I did the same." She sighed.

Dean cast his eyes at the ground, not needing to say anything.

Sam hesitantly raised his hand. "I've never made a deal," he said, "just to put it out there."

"But ya tried, ya idjit, so keep yer trap shut," Bobby told him darkly. "Just be glad the demons didn't need yer ass at the time."

Sam nodded. "Good point."

Weren't we just the poster family for normalcy?

"Anything else?" Dean asked carefully. We'd been silent for a few minutes, stewing in self-hatred.

"All the hunters who died in this war are back. They've got their own cabins out back. And we've got a new one, too, a sixteen year old kid, Jesse."

"Noted," Sam said with a nod. "Croats?"

"Michael," Dean stiffened at the name, "made this area protected. That, apparently, doesn't extend to demons."

"Wait…" Dean said slowly, looking around. He'd been looking uneasy for minutes now, but I could see the comprehension dawning as to why. "Where's Cas?"

I winced. He hadn't stuck around half as long as I'd hoped, taking off to keep making the world safer. I supposed he'd been under the false impression that Dean would be safe here.

I shrugged. "He's an angel now, on to bigger and more powerful methods of saving the world."

Dean's eyes narrowed. "What the hell do you mean?"

I shrugged. "He's been off for a while now, ever since Chuck restored his grace. He told me he's purifying or killing the souls that are infecting with the Croatoan virus. It sounded kinda creepy, really."

"He's out there _alone?" _Dean sounded pissed.

"What's the deal?" John asked. "He's an angel; can't he defend himself?"

Dean swung around and looked like he wanted to bite John's head off. "No, you son of a bitch, he _can't." _

"Language!" Mary hissed, but for once Dean ignored her.

"Who's bright idea _was _this exactly?"

"What is he yelling about?" The calm, cool question came from behind us and we swung around to see Cas standing there. "Dean?"

Dean didn't lose hold of his anger; it seemed to only be fueled more by the angel's presence. "What are you thinking, going out there alone? You could be hurt! You could be killed!"

Castiel frowned. "I am much more powerful than they are."

Dean was glaring. "That doesn't matter! One slip up, one mistake, and you're gone!"

Castiel tilted his head. "Someone must do it."

Dean glared, looking dangerously like a three year old who had been denied a cookie. "Make someone else do it!"

"Dean," Cas said patiently, some of that undying love shining through for a moment. "I am the only person currently capable of it. I will be careful, I promise."

Dean crossed his arms, sulking. "S'not good enough…" he muttered, but we all chose to ignore him. John and Mary looked a bit thrown by the whole exchange, Bobby was just awkwardly watching things he'd never had proof of play out, and Sam was grimacing at watching the two fight.

"Nice to see you, Cas," he said. "With your angelhood back and all…."

Castiel nodded. "It is good to see you as well."

"So, um, maybe you're both tired?" I suggested. "Maybe Dean and Cas could continue this… argument somewhere else?" I didn't want to watch steamy make up sex; I'd been involved in that and it hadn't been fun. I _would not _get caught in the crossfire again.

Castiel seemed to understand my point for once, nodding. He left the room and Dean followed, still sulking. Sam uncertainly followed, casting me a "why me?" glance. I only shrugged, silently wishing him the very best of luck. Been there, done that.

"So…. What in hell was _that?" _John asked, scratching his head. He looked a bit hurt. "He's never cussed me out like that…"

I rolled my eyes. "Get used to it. He's a bit… protective where Cas is concerned." I could see the wheels turning in Mary's head, she got it, but John just accepted my answer at face value. Ignorance really was bliss in this family.

I found Ash outside with his mom and sister excitedly going on about something that no one sane with a normal sized brain would understand, but they were nodding and pretending to get it anyways. They smiled at him tolerantly; I'd learned that he'd died a few years before them. They must have really missed his eccentric habits. I borrowed him to check on Chuck and he assured me that he'd be fine in a few days. Even if he didn't wake up the God powers would nourish him enough that food shouldn't be a problem, so no IV or medical equipment was required. No raiding, which was a relief. Now that the croats could be saved I hated to kill them.

I fell asleep that night with my arms around my boyfriend's peaceful body, feeling somewhat content inside. I just wished that things would stay nice for a while…

But that wasn't fated. I woke up to screaming from below. I jumped out of bed and looked out the window. Buildings were burning, the flames casting angry shadows and giving everything an eerie look. I saw passed out bodies and hunters fighting, but they were fighting humans…. It clicked in my half asleep brain and I rushed for the stairs, foregoing a shirt and glad that I'd fallen asleep in jeans.

In the kitchen Bobby, John, and Mary were gathering weapons, holy water, and salt. "What can I do?" John tossed me a rifle.

"It's full of rock salt. It won't exorcise them or stop them from snapping your neck, so be careful. Do you have an anti-possession tattoo?" Bobby swore loudly, banging his fist down on the table. "That's a no," John muttered, digging around in a drawer and pulling out a funky necklace. "Put this on," he ordered, tossing it to me. I didn't hesitate to do as he said. "If you see Jesse he may be possessed, don't trust him unless he can say Christ or Chriso, okay?" I nodded, mentally filing away the information as my hunter mode kicked in. John tossed me a full bottle of water. "Holy water, stings the bitches. Do you best not to get close enough to have to hit them. Try to avoid them and just collect the injured, okay?"

"Got it," I said, rushing out the door.  
"Damn it, be careful," John shouted after me. He obviously hadn't seen me fight.

I was in my element. I knew I'd hate myself for this later, but I was enjoying this. Whenever I found a hunter in a bind, conscious or unconscious, I distracted the demon until they got free and waited for someone to come along and exorcise it. I found Jesse cowering behind a tree- a smart move on his part, really, because he didn't know how to fight these nasties- and I pinned him to it. "Say Christ," I growled.

"Christ!" he squeaked out, looking terrified.

"Christo," I ordered, and he repeated it shakily. I'd seen no signs of demonic presences so I grabbed his arm and dragged him along behind me. "To the main house!" He raced in my wake, wincing whenever we got close to fighters. I noticed that he was bleeding from his stomach. "You okay?"

"For now," he said. By now he'd seen, stitched, and treated enough wounds to know. "We gonna make it?"

"You bet," I muttered angrily. I _would not _let this kid die. I'd grown a bit protective.

The house was too silent for my liking. I gave Jesse strict orders to get to the panic room and felt a chill go through me realizing that Chuck was unprotected. "Go," I ordered, grabbing all the bottles of holy water that John had left out and racing up the stairs.

I had good timing for once. A tall demon girl with long blond hair stood over his sleeping form voicing Latin in a vicious tone, knife poised over his heart. "Get away, bitch!" I screamed, sloshing the whole bottle down her back. Steam hissed and rose as she screeched, whirling to face me. "_Winchester," _she spat. "You and your fuck buddy killed my accomplices, but you won't get me." She was like an angry lioness- proud and snarling and scary as hell. I held my ground and glared.

"Adam!" a voice behind me yelled, "duck!" I did as ordered but the demon jumped aside as a bullet whizzed past her head.  
"Oh, little Bobby," she cooed, "You didn't think that colt would work?" She waved her hand and I heard him slam into the wall behind me. Repeatedly. Then she snapped her fingers and I heard a loud crack from behind me. I caved and broke the eye contact, whirling to see Bobby slumping, neck snapped and blood all over the walls. I couldn't help it, I puked.

When I turned back to the demon she was smiling at me. "This is oh so fun…" she practically sang happily. "How should I kill you, little Adam? Should I slowly pull out your entrails one by one and then hang your lover with them? Maybe slice out your heart and feed it to him? Skin you slowly before cutting off all of your toes, fingers, limbs, and head? Paint the walls with pretty, pretty pictures in your blood?"

I was sure she would have gone on, making me only feel sicker and more frightened, but a voice broke in from the doorway. "Emily." I turned to see Crowley. He was staring at her and looked thoroughly annoyed, but under it I saw the raw anger. "What is this?"

She cackled. "What is _this? _What are _you? _You _betrayed _our Father! You've joined the _filth. _You think we don't see? What do you think of your lover there dead on the ground?"

I could see the effort it took for Crowley to shrug and laugh callously, but apparently she didn't because she looked a bit satisfied. "I'm only playing them. I've collected two of their souls already. It's good for business."

She smirked. "Prove it by killing this one, then," she said, gesturing at me. "A gift of my good will."

He smiled. "As you wish." He turned to me and winked with the one eye she couldn't see before slamming me into the wall. Damn, it hurt. Then he turned on her and threw her into the opposite wall, stepping in front of where I slumped on the floor. "You shouldn't have done this, Emily," he told her in a quiet, foreboding voice. She snarled at him and leapt, clawing at his face. She choked him and he only laughed. "I'm not human." She punched him anyways, making him spit out blood, and he began to choke a thick black smoke- his tainted soul?- out of his mouth. "Adam!" he gasped out. I took my cue and threw holy water on her, trying to miss him, but the damage was done. His soul escaped and was sent away by Emily. She turned back to me and smiled sadistically.

"So. Where were we?" she asked, reached out to take hold of my arm. She took to top of my shoulder and I struggled, but her grip was freaking strong. With an unbelievably painful tug she ripped my arm out of its socket and kept pulling, yanking with superhuman strength until she tore my arm right off. The pain was blinding, deafening, and I hurt so much… I swallowed and forced my eyes open (when had they closed?) as I laughed at her. "That all you got?"

She looked at me like I was an ant she was burning with a magnifying glass. "Oh, sweetie, I'm just getting started." She looked me up and down in an appraising way. "You know, you haven't got too shabby of a meatsuit there…" she mused. I wanted to gag as she trailed her hand down my thigh.

"I'm taken," I spat. Literally. I spat on her and she narrowed her eyes even more, slapping me sharply before I even saw the blow coming. I spat out a tooth.

"Play nice!" she ordered. "Good boy." She patted my cheek (where she'd just slapped it, too) and leaned in to kiss me. She shoved her tongue in my mouth. It was complete violation and I was getting sick of people using me like this. I bit her tongue, hard enough to taste blood and to earn a screech. She tightened her grip in my hair and slammed my head into the wall, biting down on my neck. I kicked out at the pain of her teeth sinking in and she backed off, smiling. "I said, play nice." She went back for my lips and trailed her hands down my bare chest, using her nails to scratch patterns on my skin. She started dragging my pants down and I kicked out again, struggling to pull my mouth from hers even though I could feel my hair being pulled out. During the fighting the hole where my arm had used to be attached kept getting hit and each time the pain made me want to black out. I struggled to stay conscious knowing that these were most likely my last moments alive and the longer I kept Emily distracted, the better of a chance I had at someone coming along to save Chuck before it was too late.

Suddenly she was yanked off of me and I looked up at my saviors in relief. Sam had her by the hair and he pinned her arms behind her. "Keep your hands _off _my brother, bitch," he growled at her. Before she had a chance to answer Dean stepped forward and shoved the knife in her stomach, twisting it for good measure. Blue and gold light flashed within her before she slumped to the ground, dead. Sam smirked at Dean. "Déjà vu?"

Dean frowned. "Bitches need to learn to keep their filthy hands off my baby brothers…" He knelt next to me, frowning down at my arm where it lay pulled off and then looking at my bleeding stump of a shoulder where my arm had used to be. "How are you even _conscious?" _

"No clue," I muttered. I glanced over and Chuck and he was safe, to my relief. Sam saw me looking and nodded. "We need to get you both to the panic room. Can you stand?" I nodded, stood, but stumbled into the wall. I hit it with my torn shoulder and my brain finally decided that it had registered enough pain. I had blacked out fully before I even hit the ground.

* * *

_AN: ~ducks~ I know I killed him, I sawie! Laura will fix it. =) First half edited, second half not, so... I'm sorry if it's bad, I'll re-edit in the morning, I need to sleep. ^.^ Love you all! Remember, reviews are love for me!_


	25. Chapter 25

**Chuck**

I'd never been so tired in my life, using my energy the way I did to bring Sam and Dean back. Usually I was able to use the energy of the people around me to recharge like solar power, but sleep had come so suddenly that there just wasn't time. I hadn't been asleep long when the nightmares started. I felt each hunter's pain as the demons attacked, every death like the stab of a needle in my own heart.

Then came Emily, the true leader of the demons who had come to distract everybody while her groupie tried to kill Sam and Dean. She killed Bobby and I wanted to scream, but I was still asleep. I had no control. But then she started torturing Adam and I stopped breathing. His screams were more terrifying to me than Mary's. I just wanted to take his pain away and make everything alright. I must have been half awake or something, because I felt the flow of energy through my veins as my powers came into effect. Unfortunately, that kept me asleep even longer and finally ended the nightmare.

I woke up in the panic room with the dim lights, funky smell, and giant fan swinging overhead like a God…or me. I could hear the screams of everybody outside as the battle raged on. I knew in my heart that I would have the strength to fix it later, but my attention was currently on the cot in the center of the room where Adam lay, panting heavily and grinding his teeth from the pain of the missing arm.

"Hey," he said in a gasping voice as he noticed me sit up. "Mind…giving a buddy…a hand?"

He laughed maniacally at his own joke, then groaned loudly as it caused him more pain. I ran to his side and gingerly began to examine the wound. It made me sick to look at and even more so to remember how it had happened, but I knew how to fix it, not that it would be easy. Bringing Sam and Dean back to life had been fast because I knew it would hurt them to heal, being dead and all. But Adam would have to regrow his arm and that wasn't going to be easy. I took his one hand in my own and held it tightly.

"This is going to hurt," I warned him. "And it won't be fast. Putting you to sleep won't do anything, I'm sorry."

"Babe, please just get on with it," he said, offering me a forgiving smile for good measure.

I squeezed his hand tightly and concentrated on his shoulder socket where the tear was. His hand crushed mine and he screamed more loudly than ever as his wound began to fix itself. I watched as the bones grew, all the particles flying into place until they reached the elbow's hinge joint where they had to slow down to fit the pieces the right way. Shortly afterwards, all the muscles grew out, attaching to the bones instantly. New skin covered the whole thing right after, perfectly smooth and pale at first, then became darker as his arm filled with blood. Adam finally stopped screaming and just panted heavily, flexing his new fingers. He sat up and examined his arm, then noticed out hands, still interlocked, and bleeding.

"Oh, Chuck, I'm so sorry!" he gasped, staring down in horror.

"Relax," I said with a small smile as I felt my tiny bones snap into place and heal instantly. "Broken bones are much easier than no bones." He turned my hand over in his own, gaping at how it was covered with blood, but there was no more wound. There was a sudden screech from outside that drew our attention towards the open ceiling fan.

"I should probably go help," Adam murmured. I saw the first trace of fear in his eyes as he contemplated rejoining the battle. I felt his new fingers tap on my hand sending little surged of energy up my arm with each touch.

"I can make it stop," I offered. He looked down at me, confused and scared. "I can make it all go away, the demons and all the damage they've caused. I'll heal everybody and bring them back to life. It'll be like this never happened."

"Won't that hurt you?" he asked worriedly. "I mean, all you did was make Sam and Dean grow up and it knocked you out. Isn't this a little more than you can handle?"

"Maybe…but if I don't, who will?" I shrugged. "Besides, I don't want to be the vengeful God who wreaks his wrath all over the planet."

"Maybe you should never say that to anyone besides me," Adam said, chuckling softly. "It's a little kinky, you've got to admit."

"I really hope I didn't fry you brain, trying to heal you," I said with a frown.

Adam rolled his eyes but looked back up towards the fan as somebody else screamed. "They really need our help."

"I can fix it," I repeated forcefully.

"Work up your strength first?" he pleaded, looking back into my eyes. "For me?"

I smiled softly and nodded. He sighed contentedly and pulled me into his arms. He kissed my forehead gently and I winced with pain as it made my skin feel like it was on fire.

"What's wrong?" Adam asked worriedly as I leaned away from him. I bit my lip as I watched him, feeling my heart beat painfully.

"She kissed you…" I whispered. I'd been hoping that was just part of the nightmare. Adam's jaw clenched and I felt his hand grow shaky.

"Yes," he said, as though he had to admit some terrible secret. "And then…she tried to—"

"It's fine," I lied. "Really, it's just…I can feel her on you."

"If it makes you feel better, she died right after," he shrugged. "But I get it. It feels all wrong."

He shifted uncomfortably on the cot, looking like a rape victim you would see on TV ads trying to get money for some kind of shelter. Those things had always gotten to me…I place my hand on Adam's cheek and pulled his lips down to mine, ignoring the painful sting of demon energy as he kissed me back. I traced everywhere on his body where she had touched, destroying the memory of her. His arms, where she had pinned him to the wall, his stomach where she had left marks in his skin which I easily healed without him noticing, and all the way down to his thighs where she had tried to violate him one step further.

"There's a dead boy in the hallway." Adam and I both looked up, startled and panting. Jo stood in the doorway of the panic room, her head tilted curiously as she watched us. Since bringing her back, she'd had moments like this. Times when it seemed that she should be checked into the hotel California rather than in the middle of the apocalypse. I guessed it had something to do with the traumatic way she died because I couldn't fix her brain.

"What did you say?" I asked, trying not to feel Adam's body pulse in time with his rapid heartbeat beneath me.

"There's a dead boy in the hallway," she repeated forcefully, as though we were supposed to understand right away. I looked down at Adam whose eyes were wide with fear.

"I just remembered something…" he said quietly.

He quickly got off the cot, dragging me with him, and headed out of the panic room. We ran to the stairs leading up to the main house and stopped. There was the dead boy, slumped against the door, his throat slashed.

"Oh, Jesse…" Adam whispered, shutting his eyes tightly.

"Shh," I said, placing a hand on his shoulder. I looked around the basement which was lit up with an eerie red light, narrowing my eyes suspiciously. "I don't think we're alone."

Right on cue, a demon charged towards us, bellowing his war cry until I cut him off by grabbing his throat with my superhuman strength. The thing cackled wickedly and attempted to pry my fingers off him with both his hands.

"Why are you here?" I said, feeling my power flow through my veins again, commanding him.

"Kill…Winchester…" it gagged, eyes popping as it realized what was going on.

"Why did you try to kill me?" I asked, slightly confused as to why their leader wouldn't go straight for Sam and Dean.

"Healer," it said, voice full of disgust. "With you gone, they can never come back."

"Why do you want my brothers dead?" Adam demanded, grabbing its shirt collar.

It just grinned wickedly and opened its mouth so that the pillar of black smoke could fly through with a piercing screech. Muttering to myself, I dropped the dead human body to the ground.

"That was douchey," Adam said, frowning. "It's rude to interrupt a conversation to smoke out of a meatsuit."

"Come on," I said, tugging on his hand. "We can fix Jesse as soon as we stop all the chaos."

Adam nodded, keeping his eyes on me rather than the disturbingly peaceful face which was impossible since we needed to shove him aside to get to the door. The house was silent while everybody was awake for the first time in weeks. Of course the mayhem outside didn't count as the waking hours, but it was still an interesting thing to witness. Though I decided to keep that speculation to myself. We ran out to the porch and looked out at the chaos that was once such a peaceful ground for hunters to glare at each other suspiciously while waiting to die—preferably not tonight. There was so much fire, screaming, and blood flying everywhere that I could hardly tell where the demons began and the hunters ended. Something had to be wrong with my mind…I found it almost as oddly artistic as baby Sam and Dean's deathbed.

"Need an energy boost?" Adam offered, holding out his hand with a nervous look on the scene laid out before him.

I took his hand and turned back to the chaos, taking a deep breath. First, all the fires blew out like birthday candles, filling the air with the smell of smoke. It took a lot more energy, but with a second surge of energy, a different kind of smoke filled the air, desperately trying to escape as they were dragged towards the ground. As soon as all the demons had disappeared, I took a step back and had to blink a few times in order to unblur my vision.

"You okay?" Adam asked worriedly.

"Yeah, good," I said as my stomach turned over.

"Great," he said. "You go take a breather and we'll round up everyone who's gonna need a little miracle."

"Alright," I nodded, walking back towards the house. Adam delayed releasing my hand until I was halfway through the door, and even then I felt his loss like the disappearance of the agonized screaming.

I entered the kitchen, hoping for a cup of coffee, and instead found Becky with her head in the refrigerator. She stood up with her arms full of leftover containers and turned towards me. I saw then that she had her headphones in her ears, hence the oblivious smile on her face. She pulled out one of the earpieces as she noticed me.

"Hey, Chuck," she said, sitting at the table. "You get a tummy rumblin' in the morning too? I thought that was just me now that I'm, you know, preggers…your fault."

"You volunteered," I pointed out. "Is that what you've been doing all this time? Haven't you looked outside?"

"Why?" she asked confusedly. "What's…going on?"

"Seriously, Becky, fail," I muttered, rubbing my eyes tiredly. "We were just attacked by a bunch of demons and now everything outside is screwed up…you really didn't hear anything?"

"I MISSED IT?" she screeched, gaping at me. "Why didn't you tell me? I wanted to fight!"

"Becky, you're _pregnant_," I said, gesturing towards her belly which was growing unnaturally fast.

"Again, _your fault_!" she shouted, jabbing a finger at me as she stormed off.

I shrugged and reached across the table for the food she left behind.

Adam had managed to get a full look at the damage in less than two hours. Only a few things had been terribly destroyed by the fires, but not enough to cause much distress. Miraculously, only six people had died during the fight. Though many were injured in painfully awkward places, there were only a few. Luckily, my army was self healing and was estimated to make a full recovery by the afternoon. Jesse and Bobby, however, weren't so lucky. I would need to heal them myself.

We laid them out in the living room, side by side. Out of respect for the temporarily dead, everybody except for Adam cleared the room. Almost right afterwards, Crowley showed up, storming into the room as though he hadn't just smoked back into the corpse that had been rotting on my bedroom floor.

"What are you waiting for?" he barked at me, pacing the room impatiently. "Get your holy mojo on and fix him!"

"Would you relax?" Adam retorted, rolling his eyes. "Bobby and Jesse are gonna be just fine."

"Screw Jesse, let him cross over for all I care!" the demon shouted. "I want Bobby back, _NOW!_"

I quickly leaped to the corpses and grabbed their hands, mostly out of fear. Adam walked over and stood between me and Crowley protectively. I smiled and closed my eyes, concentrating on him since he seemed to be the only ingredient necessary for my healing powers to work. When I opened my eyes, the two bodies had healed, but they still weren't moving.

"What's happening?" Crowley demanded, showing the first sign of real worry I'd ever seen him give.

"They're gone…" I whispered, too numb as I realized what was going on.

"What do you mean…_gone_?" Adam asked, forcing out the last word. "You brought Sam and Dean back to life and they were in worse condition than this!"

"They'd only been dead for a few seconds," I said, carefully scooting away from the corpses as though they would wake up and attack me at any moment. "They're souls were still wandering around the room then. Bobby and Jesse…they've already gone away."

"Liar," Crowley said flatly. I noticed that his chest was heaving with irregular breaths and his eyes were beginning to tear up. "Stop messing around and bring Bobby back! Now, Chuck…Bobby…"

"I'm sorry," I whispered, feeling my own tears as I realized that I had just killed two of my best friends. "I can't…so sorry…"

"Chuck, maybe you should just work up your energy," Adam said in the I'm-trying-not-to-panic voice. "There's…still hope…right?"

I covered my mouth with my hand and shook my head as tears fell freely from my eyes. I looked up at Crowley who was staring at me, his eyes demon black, as the truth of the situation dawned on him. I saw his chest collapse as his legs caved from beneath him and he fell to his knees. Adam dragged me to my feet as all the lights started flickering and dragged me out of the room.

"What's happening?" Dean asked when he saw our faces. "Where's Bobby?"

"Dean…go get Jo, would you?" Adam said, showing it on his face that he just wanted Dean and everybody else to be gone for a bit. "I think we left her in the basement."

From the other room, Crowley released an earsplitting screech that made the whole house vibrate and grow unnaturally cold.

"Sure…thing," Dean said distractedly, walking backwards towards the basement door.

"Chuck, are you sure you about all that? I mean…are you sure you did it right?" Adam asked quietly, motioning towards the door where the screams were still emanating loudly.

"You know what you have to do, Chuck," said Sera, slowly walking around Adam, examining him like a piece of meat. "You heard the message, didn't you? When you were trying to bring them back?"

"Yes…I did," I admitted quietly. Adam's lip quivered and his features contracted with anguish. He bowed his head onto my shoulder and held me close.

"Then you know what you have to do," Sera said, giving me a meaningful look. "Sooner, rather than later, as I _used_ to say…before a Croat ripped my head off. But really, there's absolutely no time."

"Adam, there's something I need to go do," I whispered, trying to be gentle with him.

"Go? Like, leave?" he asked, looking up at me fearfully. "I'll go with you."

"No, Adam," I said, hating myself already. "You can't…but it might help Bobby and Jesse, so I've got to."

"Can't it wait?" he asked in pleading tones. "I just…I really need you right now."

I smiled and held his face in my hand. It hurt my heart to think of leaving him behind, even for just a few days, but Sera was right. I leaned forward and pressed my lips against Adam's, drawing out the moment as long as I possibly could. A second later, he had disappeared, having been sent upstairs to get some sleep as he needed.

I quickly rand to the kitchen where I found Becky who had returned to finish the food she'd brought out.

"Becky, get in the Impala," I ordered. "Not a lot of time to explain, but I need you to trust me, understand?"

"Where are we going?" she asked curiously, her mouth full of cheese.

"Boss man wants a face to face," I said impatiently. "Now come on, God's waiting!"

* * *

_AN: Wow, she has me so confused. But I get Adam alone for a few days, so I will be dealing with the aftermath... Oh, fun day! =) Reviews are everlasting love! _


	26. Chapter 26

**Adam **

I woke up alone. I think that was the moment I was officially thoroughly pissed off. Because really, what kind of boyfriend leaves you at one of your lowest moments?

Bobby was gone- there was one twinge of guilt. Jesse was dead- and there was that pesky regret; why hadn't I kept better track of him? All those dead hunters; that wasn't good. Jo, who was pretty much crazy now…

Looking at it objectively, even if _I _didn't need Chuck that much, we all as a community did. He had all the powers, all the rebound abilities, and without him everything was that much more complicated.

My mind hit its limit of hurt and started to wander off in other directions. I wondered when Crowley had stopped screaming and how I'd slept through it initially. Well, magic and all…

Thinking wasn't really working for me, so I got up and headed for the door. It was dark, so I figured I'd slept through the entire day. The hall was quiet, but it was weird to pass the former nursery and not be compelled to check inside for my baby brothers. Hello, they weren't exactly littler than me anymore.

I found Crowley sitting halfway up the stairs, slumped. "You… you okay there?"

"I gave it back," he mumbled, sounding strangely drunk. "I shouldn't have given it back." He looked up at me, confusion shining in his eyes. "Why did I give it back?"

"Um…" I leaned against the wall and crossed my arms. "Uh. I'm not really sure what you're talking about."

"His soul. I gave your souls back. Why didn't I keep 'em? Then I could have brought him back…"

It clicked into place. "Oh. Um. Well." Yeah, hindsight was a bitch. "He wanted his soul back; he would not have been very happy if you hadn't given it back, would he?"

Crowley laughed hysterically, insanely, and a chill ran down my spine. "Doesn't matter now, does it? He could have been alive." He shoved himself unsteadily to his feet, staring at me with strangely critical eyes. "None of it matters now. Should just kill you all now; it isn't like we won't all be killed anyways." He stumbled off. "None of it matters…"

Well, if that wasn't just the cheeriest way to start my day… or night, rather. I was a bit worried, but I guessed that he'd save his mass homicide until he was the demon equivalent of sober enough to enjoy it, so for now, we were good. Ignoring my own hurting heart, I continued on downstairs. In the living room Sam was holding a bottle, staring at the amber liquid sadly. "Hey Adam," he said quietly without looking up.

"Hi. Um, how is everyone?"

He gave me a bleak smile. "Not so good. Jo's kinda snapped- Ellen died again and all…" He took another swig of the bottle. "Dean and Cas are looking after her. Ash was kinda hard to contain; he's suddenly explosively hyper. He just can't sit still, can't think about anything except the next invention, the next world changing equation." Sam laughed bitterly. "As if anything helpful changes the world now. The world's destroyed!" He smashed his fist down on the table and it broke through the wood. His hand was bleeding and covered in splinters. "How did I manage to end the world?"

"Um… well, if it helps, lots of teachers always said it took effort to fail a class, but it really didn't. It just took a couple of misguided days. Maybe life is just kinda the same way?" I offered. I didn't really know what I was saying, but I figured right now it wouldn't really help anyways.

I didn't think it had, but Sam gave me a small brotherly smile of affection anyways. "Thanks, Adam." He frowned at the broken table and at his hand as if he'd just noticed them. Then he shrugged, finished off his bottle, and stood up. "Want a beer?"

I knew that after my last escapades when Chuck had been gone- especially considering that this time he hadn't just vanished, he'd _left _me- drunken me wasn't exactly the best. I think I had kind of scared most people. But thinking back over all that we had lost over the past couple days- with Jesse's death we had now lost _all _of the original recruits, I realized randomly- I didn't really care.

"Yeah. I think I do." I followed behind him, feeling a bit like a puppy, and I didn't really care about that.

One beer down, though, Sam headed off in search of Dean or John or Mary, any other family, and I was left alone to think again. Thinking wasn't smart, especially if I was only slightly tipsy and not drunk enough to not care. I wallowed for a while before Ash raced in, digging through the fridge frantically. "Hey, buddy, you okay?" I asked, putting a hand on his shoulder. He jumped about a mile high before whirling to face me.

"Oh. It's you." He turned back to the fridge and resumed his task.

"Um, yeah? Are you okay? What are you looking for."

"Ice cream."

"Oh…" O-kay, had _not _really expected that answer. "It's in the freezer out back. Anything else you need?"

"Not sure…" he muttered, racing towards the door. "Thanks man!"

"Yeah," I said to the air, "no problem."

Getting drunk wasn't working. Every time I took a sip I remembered how guilty Chuck had felt when he thought he'd driven me to it. Every time I remembered that I started thinking of him. Every time I thought of him my mind started asking incoherent questions in his general direction while my heart felt like it was dying the slowest, most painful death. Eventually the pain of all of that became too much and I took another sip, repeating the process. This was not healthy.

So I headed to the panic room. I wasn't really ready to face the carnage outside yet.

To my surprise, I found Castiel there, all alone. "What are you doing?"He _shrugged. _The angel _shrugged. _ There was just something so _wrong _with that. "You okay?"

He looked at me sadly- sadly? An emotion? What _was _this?- and asked almost rhetorically, "Is anyone?"

I swallowed a bunch of air that puffed up my cheeks as I thought, almost smiling at his amused glance. "Maybe someone who had no real ties with anyone else and wasn't injured?"

Castiel smirked, a full on Dean smirk. My brother was already negatively influencing him! "You find me that person and I'll tell you the secret of life."

"Do you actually _know _the secret of life?"

He nodded earnestly. "Oh, yes. I came across it in a book one day- it is very fascinating and wondrous."

"Angels read?"

"Is that so impossible?"

I considered for a full on half minute, using that little college worthy brain for some analytical thinking. From what I knew of angels… "Yeah. It really, really is. But maybe not for you; you're the coolest angel, anyways."

"Thank you," he acknowledged. "I'm not sure many would see it that way."

"Maybe not," I shrugged. Then I smiled. "Oh, God, I just thought of this one song…" I trailed off, smiling to myself.

"What song?"

"You wouldn't know it."

He almost pouted, but caught himself. "I might."

"You won't." He crossed his arms, going for a "I will smite you" glare instead. That only made me laugh. "Fine. It's called You've Got a Friend in Me. It's from a kid movie my mom used to play for me when I was home alone in elementary school."

He seemed to concentrate for a few minutes before smiling. "Toy Story."

I couldn't help it when my jaw dropped. He grinned. "One can see much from heaven."

"Stalker."

He shrugged. "That is quite possibly true." He stood up. "Have you seen Dean?"

I shook my head silently. "Nope. He wasn't in the kitchen, the living room, on the stairs, or in my room, so that just leaves… everywhere else? Good luck." He nodded and wandered off. I kinda felt like maybe we had officially made our peace.

I lay back on the cot and stared up at the fan circling above me. The underlying pain washed over me in waves- why did I feel like I was missing something so essential to my survival when Chuck was gone? I was pathetic. A wimp. A total weenie, and this gave me license to be mocked for the rest of eternity.

So why did I feel like if he could just show up, be in the same room, I wouldn't care about any of that? Why did I only feel whole when he was in my arms, close enough for me to reach out and touch him?

More importantly: why wasn't he _here? _

_I miss you, _I thought sadly, wishing so much he could hear me. But he couldn't. No one could. No one would care if they could, either, because everyone was separated in their own world of loneliness and grief right now, none of them colliding but for the briefest moments, hardly any of them lessening any other's pain.

As depressing song after depressing song ran through my head I was left to wonder: where would we go from here?

* * *

_AN: I got obsessed with Greek. It stops the flow. =( That, and Laura won't give me Jesse (a totally different Jesse, not the one from this fic) back, so I'm rebelling. That acclaims for the shortness. =) Wish me luvs? A whole weekend ahead without my boyfriend... And our eight months is Sunday! :D Reviews are love!_


	27. Chapter 27

**Chuck**

"You look sad," Becky pointed out speculatively. "You gonna tell me what's going on or what?"

"Just thinking about Adam," I sighed, feeling my heart drop a beat with sorrow at being so far away from him.

"No, really," she said, laughing humorlessly. "What's going on?"

"Oh…we're going to have a conversation with God. He told me to bring you along," I said simply, leaving her to stare confusedly.

"But I thought you're the new God?" she said slowly, trying to piece it all together in her tiny mind.

"Think of me as kind of a…demi-God," I said, wondering how best to make her understand. "I mean, I've got the powers and all, but I'm not _the guy_, if God even counts as guy. The original is retiring somewhere that I can't see."

"Then how are we getting there?" Becky asked, shifting uncomfortably in the passenger seat.

"Just…following a hunch," I shrugged.

"Chuck…" Becky said in a low growl. I glanced over and saw her glaring at me murderously. "You dragged me out of the house, right into the battlefield, so you could follow…a _hunch_?"

"Um, yeah?" I said, shrinking away from her. Lately, her pregnancy mood swings had been flaring up at odd times and they could get ugly. But for now, she just turned away and stubbornly looked out the window.

"We're going to get eaten alive by Croats because you had an itch your boyfriend just couldn't scratch…" she muttered darkly.

"Hey, don't take this out on Adam," I scolded. "I know from experience that there's no itch he can't scratch…on me…in a naughty way, if you didn't catch that."

"Aren't you afraid that as soon as you walk into the bar, he'll smite you?" she asked, grinning as though she hoped that would happen.

"Wait—why do you think he's in a bar?" I asked, trying to remember if I'd ever said anything about that. I couldn't have…even I didn't know where he would be.

"Please, it's total cliché," she scoffed, rolling her eyes. "God's the barman, waiting with a full glass of beer, a lighter, and fortune cookie advice."

"Oh…well that doesn't count," I said defensively. "He's probably in a temple on top of a mountain somewhere, meditating or something peaceful like that."

"Whatever," she muttered. "Can we at least stop for a burger or something? Your apocalypse baby is starving."

"Key word, Becky: apocalypse."

"Jerk."

"Not gonna say it."

Becky stuck her tongue out at me the way Dean would do to Sam whenever he gave that response. I wondered what Adam would say if Sam turned to him and handed over the insult. I shook my head, trying not to concentrate on how the thought of my boyfriend made me want to turn around and run back into his arms.

A few hours later, I stopped driving as we approached to an area where a giant hedge was growing unnaturally. So unnaturally it happen to cut right across the road I had been driving down. It was so tall that nothing could be seen over it except for a few really tall trees.

"Well that sucks," Becky said emotionlessly. "Might as well turn around and go home."

"It was put there," I told her, "by amateurs, obviously. There's probably going to be a latch somewhere to the door."

We both got out of the car and began to inspect the hedge, turning over odd looking leaves and branches. After a few moments, I found the small padlock attacked to a large metal rod that must have been part of the fence. I held it in my hands for a few moments before hearing it click open on its own. I removed the lock and gently pushed the gate forward. On the other side, the road continued down a large hill that lead into an average looking town, except it was entirely deserted.

"I don't see your temple," Becky said, folding her arms.

"Wait," I said, holding up my hand. "Somebody's coming."

From out of the trees stepped a small group of men carrying extremely intimidating guns. They walked forward, staring at Becky and me as though we were just a bunch of ants trying to eat their steaks.

"These things are getting smarter, captain," one of the men towards the back said. "We may need to up security."

"Oh, we're not infected," I said, holding up my hands innocently. Becky put her hands up, but more in the way of a person about to be arrested. "We were just passing through and…we couldn't exactly pass through your gate.

"You could be lying about that," said the leader of the group. "What's to stop us from shooting you right now?"

"Please sir, my wife is pregnant," I said, wishing I had thought to take up drama in high school. Lying had never been a quality of any sort to me, but these people seemed capable of looking the other way. "We'll agree to any conditions you want, we just want to make it to the other side and be on our way."

The group took a step back and whispered to each other which really made no difference since I could hear them plain as day. Obviously, Becky heard too because she blushed when one of the men said that she didn't look fat enough to be pregnant.

"Alright," said the leader, walking back towards us. "We'll personally escort you to the other side. But any sudden moves, and your heads pay the price, understand?"

Becky and I both nodded rapidly and began walking forward as the men motioned with their guns. As we entered the town, people began coming out of the buildings and we noticed what sort of people managed to survive the apocalypse. The rich ones. All of these people dressed up nicely, going about pretending as though there wasn't a war raging outside the walls of their nice suburban homes which they had obviously been forced into. They were the types who would normally be seen in mansions with a helicopter pad in the back yard. It made me want to puke imagining how many people they probably shoved aside just so they could save their own precious asses.

We came near the exit of the place and I noticed that the last building happened to be a bar named Holy Ivory. When Becky saw it, she turned towards me and stuck out her tongue. I looked all around at the escorts who seemed kind of bored of the job. I sent them a little boost of magic to make that boredom thirsty.

"Hey, is it alright if we stopped for a drink?" I asked the leader who looked towards the bar longingly. "We've been on the road so long…"

"Yeah, I guess we could stop for a few minutes," the guy shrugged, eagerly changing his direction towards the bar. All of his cronies followed suit, walking briskly and already pulling out their wallets. Of course they used money in this place.

Inside, the bar was packed full of people, drinking away and dancing around. But I wasn't paying them any attention. I was focused on the bartender who was sliding a glass towards a sad looking man before pulling out a lighter and smiling kindly. Becky nudged me in the ribs in a complete I-told-ya-so way. The bartender looked up at that moment and smiled. With a single clap of his hands, everybody had disappeared, leaving the place lonely and empty.

"What just happened?" Becky asked, looking all around.

"Relax, I just sent everyone home for now," the bartender said. "Come sit down. This talk is long overdue."

I nodded to Becky and we both went to sit on a pair of barstools. The man pulled up two empty glasses and filled them with frothy beer, passing one to me and keeping the other to himself.

"Sorry, Becks," he shrugged as though they were old friends. "Not good for the little one, hope you understand."

"Yeah…sure," she allowed, nodding with a suspicious expression.

"So, you're God," I said, nodding awkwardly. "How's that going?"

"Please, call me Bob," he shrugged lightly. "And it sucks, just so you know. All of these people come in here night after night, talking about how I've forsaken them and how I should kiss a very grotesque part of their anatomies. But I've made it my mission to de-corrupt these people…I don't want my next generation of species to grow up like these people. Keep that in mind, Becky. Raise them right."

"Them?" she frowned.

"Twins," Bob said, smiling gleefully.

"Ouch…" Becky whispered, looking down at her belly in horror. "Do I get to raise them Supernatural?"

"Umm…"

"My books," I cut in, noticing how he must have misinterpreted her. "From back when I was still your prophet."

"Right, you mean raise them Winchester," he nodded. "Of course. That's what they're for, aren't they?"

"I so knew that there was something more back before meeting Chuck," Becky said, sighing as she reminisced. "All my fellow fangirls thought I was going just a _little_ bit overboard…guess I showed them."

"Fangirls aside," I interrupted. "I think there's a few things we need to discuss."

"The demon attack, of course," Bob said sadly, his cordial expression fading. "I am sorry about your friends. From now on, any soul I did not give to you for your army, you should keep safely hidden away. They cannot grow back like skin cells."

"But why couldn't I bring them back?" I asked. "I've brought the dead back before, why should it be different with Bobby and Jesse?"

"Because they'd already found me by that time," he explained. "You see, I happen to be building an army of my own. Any soul I can get my hands on will be transformed into a new form of angel and change the new world for the better, after we win the war, of course. Now, because you're new to all this, I decided to cut you a break and offer your dead a choice between the two. Thankfully for you, they refused. When you return home, you'll be able to revive them. But just this once—keep them safe from now on."

"Thank you sir," I said, smiling widely. "You've just made a lot of people happy."

"And now to the real reason I invited you here," he said, folding his hands in a very business-like way. "You've been using your powers surprisingly well, not for anything too personal or for changing destiny. But your abilities are accelerating and with that, I feel I must send you something else. Just a few skills I've picked up over my billions of years. you'll be able to go forward more wisely and when the time comes, assist the new leader of the world."

"Assist?" I said, frowning. "Wouldn't it just be easier to be the leader?"

"No, the job is strictly for Dean Winchester," he chuckled, shaking his head. "He will be able to lead the new world in the right direction. You, on the other hand, must guide him, keep him safe and on a just path. That may be harder if he was to lose anything special, so…keep the angel safe as well. Castiel is more vulnerable than he may think."

"Oh…right," I said, straightening up as I remembered what Becky said about him being able to smite me. "Do you know…about what's been going on lately?"

"You mean your relationship with the third Winchester son?" he said, tilting his head curiously. "Yes, I've…witnessed."

"Doesn't that go against some of your rules?" I asked quietly.

"Rules? No," he said. "Those are just guidelines on how to make the human race thrive. That particular section is mainly for reproduction. I guess I should have mentioned my weakness…I always make exceptions when it's love. And even now, I see that you love him, so you have the most powerful entity in the universe on your side."

"Aww…" Becky said, putting. "I was really hoping he would do the chunky soup balloon thing…"

Bob laughed heartily like a proud father. It made me feel safe to know that the world didn't rest on my shoulders, and a little guilty that it rested on his.

"You two are free to leave now," he said, walking around to the other side of the bar so that he could escort us out.. "You will be needed at home shortly. Chuck, remember to follow your visions as you've been denying so dearly. And Becky, remember to check under the floorboards in Bobby's bedroom. His lovely wife left a box full of recipes that are meant for your pregnancy in specific."

"Actually, I've been meaning to ask you," I said, stopping halfway out the door. "I got a vision once…about Adam. He was dying and I couldn't heal him. Is that…really going to happen?"

"As the prophet sees it, so it shall come to pass," he said apologetically, shrugging. "You must find your own way from now on. I'm confident that you will find a way to save your dearly beloved. Farewell, and good luck."

He hugged Becky and me both and waved as we walked out the door.

"Chuck," he called after we had gone only a few feet. I turned around and saw him frowning oddly. "Tell my son…I'm sorry. I know he lost faith in me a while ago, but I hope to change that. Just tell him that I love him?"

"Sure thing," I nodded with a smile.

I turned around and took Becky's hand, teleporting back to the car.


	28. Chapter 28

**Adam**

When I woke up I felt a warm body next to me, breathing evenly. I didn't even have to guess or look to _know _that it was Chuck; I felt right again. My heart wasn't in pain and every part of me that was touching him tingled with life. For a moment all I wanted to do was pull him close and hold him until I fell back asleep. Then I remembered the previous day and I scrambled away from him as fast as I could. My heart was still yearning for me to hold him, but my mind remembered the loneliness and the dependence. I remembered how I'd almost let myself become a drunken loser again. My heart wanted to hold him, but my mind knew that I couldn't let this- not that I necessarily knew what _this_ was, because I was sure that I could not live without him- continue. I settled for curling up into a ball on the top corner of the bed, watching him sleep. Call me a stalker, but I'd missed him too much to lose sight of him now.

It didn't take him long to wake up. Shortly after I'd moved away from him he had started tossing and turning in his sleep. As it got more frantic- as well as more apparent that he was having a nightmare- I reached out and shook his shoulder. Even with the quick contact I wanted nothing more than to be next to him once more, complete, and I quickly took my hand back. Where was that pesky hurt when I needed it?

He started awake, eyes landing on me. The fear faded away and he reached out for me, but I cringed away automatically. I saw the flash of hurt in his eyes and felt guilty for putting it there as he pulled his hand back. "Adam?"

I didn't know what to say. The silence stretched out, pretty much painful, with me curled in a little ball of misery and him fidgeting awkwardly. "I'm sorry," he finally offered.

Every single molecule of me wanted to forgive him. Hell, every single molecule of me _had. _But that little self-preservation instinct had kicked in and I just couldn't give up. I could accept his apology and live happily ever after, because somewhere deep down I knew that if I did it wouldn't be happily ever after for forever. It would be happily ever after… until he decided that he had somewhere he needed to be. Without me.

"I can't do this right now," I muttered, moving to crawl off the bed, but he caught my arm.

"Wait, Adam, _please?" _Of course I couldn't _not. _I shrugged off his arm and sat back, waiting as he'd asked. The only problem was his lack of knowledge as to what to say.

I gave up on keeping the silence. "Where were you?"

"Looking for God."

"You're God," I pointed out, "sort of."

He smiled at the very little bit of progress we were making here. "Sort of, but not completely. I'm like… an almost-God. There's still the real one out there. I had to go see him."

"Why?" Damn, I sounded like a whiney thirteen year old.

"It was sorta like a vision, but more of a call. He wanted to see me." I waited for more. "It was about the powers and Bobby and Jesse."

I admit, I perked up at that last part. "What did you find out?"

He smiled a bit. "He's collecting souls for his 'new army' of angels, but Bobby and Jesse didn't want to be part of it. He sent their souls back here and I revived them. They're fine. All normal."

_That _was relieving. Was it just me or did the atmosphere in the house_ feel _lighter? "That's amazing. How's Crowley?"

Chuck's brow furrowed. "I… don't know. I didn't see him; I was really tired after and I just wanted to come rest up here with you. Why?"

"He was going a little… kill everyone left because life's worthless anyways… ish, yesterday."

There was a bit of a silence again- my brain was replaying my previous day and he seemed to be waiting for me to break the silence. "What were you dreaming?" I asked.

"Um…" He bit his lip. "I don't really want to talk about it."

It shouldn't have bothered me, really, but… it kinda did. I couldn't stay mad at him, couldn't even stay hurt as long as he was with me, and yet he couldn't tell me his _nightmare? _

"Fine." I almost winced at how clipped and _cold _my voice could sound. Was I _that _pissed? "I need coffee, anyways."

I scrambled away, ignoring my ears so that I couldn't really hear if he decided to call after me. I had just opened the door when he caught hold of my arm, spinning me back around. My mental control broke and I could hear him again, "Please, please, wait!" Before I could really do anything he had pushed against me, the door slamming shut behind my back, and was kissing me fervently.

I gave myself amazing kudos for keeping hold of my control. My body felt like it was on fire everywhere; he was pushed completely against me and his hands were doing maddening things to the skin under my shirt. I wanted nothing more than to pull him close and make love to him until I forget everything else in the world, but I held myself back. I couldn't stop him from doing anything to me, nor could I help kissing him back, but other than that I remained still and refused to respond further.

When he eventually pulled away he looked up at me worriedly. "I love you," he said carefully, as if he was willing me to believe him. That wasn't the problem, though.

"I know," I said. "Why didn't you take me with you?"

He bit his lip. "I didn't… I just…"

"What? You took Becky. Why couldn't I have gone? If you wanted a break from me, you could have said." Well, okay, that wasn't _true, _but I was angry and word vomit was pouring out.

His eyes had gone wide and before I knew it he was kissing me again. "I didn't- don't!" he said between kisses that I _could not_ help but respond to. Honestly, I didn't even want to anymore. I just wanted him, wanted yesterday to not exist, and wanted _this_ to last forever. He leaned his forehead on mine. "I just wanted to keep you safe. They needed you here."

"We _all _needed you here."

"I'm so sorry. I knew that I had to go, Adam, it was important. No one likes Becky; she wasn't missed, right?" I shook my head. "Exactly, but you would have been. They needed family when magic and faith failed. You're in it, but I'm just a convenience."

I pulled his mouth to mine, taking initiative this time. "You're not just a convenience to me. You know that."

He nodded. "Then you'll have to trust me. I hated leaving you. I got back as soon as I could. Sometimes we just… have to make sacrifices."

Honestly, who could ever refuse such adorable puppy eyes? "Okay. But please, next time don't knock me out and sneak off?"

"Promise," he agreed. I kissed him again, not planning to stop any time soon. If everything was well downstairs, they could miss us for a little longer…

* * *

_AN: Sorry for the short-and-sweet ness, it was that in exchange for my freshman year book (I know that makes no sense, so you'll just have to trust me XP) but I got it done at least! Thanks for all the reviews this weekend, you people are the best. Don't know what I'd do without all of your love. =) Lots of hugs~!_


	29. Chapter 29

**Chuck**

I awoke to a strange tingling on my spine the evening after coming home. I was lying on my stomach, a sheet half covering my naked body. I felt Adam's knees on either side of me and his head as he loomed over my body. The tingling on my spine had been his lips, planting soft kisses all along my back.

"You awake yet?" he murmured against my skin, raising goose bumps all over.

"I am now," I said quietly, stretching as much as I could without allowing him to stop. "So, am I forgiven?"

"Forgiven?" he repeated, nipping at my flesh with his teeth. "Do I really need to prove to you _again_ just how forgiven you are?"

"Yes," I said quickly, grinning over my shoulder. "I haven't gotten the message yet and I deserve to be punished for it."

In an instant, I found myself flipped onto my back, Adam straddling my waist and pinning me down. "Don't tempt me," he growled playfully. He leaned down and kissed my lips, melting onto me.

"ADAM WINCHESTER!" shouted Mary from downstairs. "You get your sodomized ass downstairs _this instant!_ We are a family and we eat in ten minutes or you will not have a single moment's peace, got it?"

"Yes, Mary!" he and I both called out together, then collapsed into snickering and more kissed.

"I guess we're finally pushed past her limits," I chuckled, brushing my fingers against his soft lips.

"I wouldn't put it past Crowley to hold her up to it," Adam scoffed, rolling off me. He went around the room, beginning to sort out his clothes from mine.

"You know, I think the guy's losing his edge," I said, pulling on my boxers. "After I brought Bobby back, we found him outside volunteering to be all the hunters' punching bag. One of them went a little far and started the exorcism ritual and that's when Bobby saved him. I didn't follow them into Bobby's room, though…I was too sleepy."

"Love, those are mine," Adam chuckled as I started pulling on a pair of jeans. I quickly switched with him and finished getting dressed. "You think they're…like us?"

"Believe me," I laughed, "the awkward noises started before I'd even made it down the hallway."

Adam buckled up his belt and headed towards the door, pulling me by the hand so that I followed. Downstairs, everyone had already gathered around the dinner table, the conversation seeming to revolve around Bobby and Jesse and how wonderful it is to have them back, but also how it sucks that it's still the apocalypse and all. I was thankful for Mary who had somehow managed to get everyone around the same table, no matter how squished. Even Ellen and Jo had sat down. Everybody was present except Sam who walked in ten minutes late. We all looked up at the man who was able to seem five years old when he looked that spooked.

"Sammy, what's wrong?" Dean asked, his voice full of that brotherly affection.

"It's…the nightmare visions," Sam quietly admitted to his hands. "They've started up again…I don't know why."

"You mean the visions that son of a bitch Azazel gave you?" John demanded, fist clenching his napkin. Sam nodded ashamedly. Dean stood up and walked around the table so that he could hold his little brother's hand.

"It was about Adam," Sam said, looking up. "And Chuck. You guys were walking someplace that's not around here. Then Adam fell down and Chuck…you just started screaming."

Adam turned towards me, a suspicious gape on his face. "Is that the nightmare? The one from this morning, and all those nights before? All those times you woke up crying—is that the reason why?"

I looked down at my plate of a half eaten meal and felt that familiar sorrow in my chest just like every time I thought of that vision. "I can make it stop…I won't let it happen."

"Let what happen?" Adam asked frustratedly. "Chuck, I can't help unless you tell me what's going on."

I took a steadying breath which did no good as I looked up into his eyes. I couldn't help feeling that sting of tears, but also a kind of rage that flared up instantly. Whether I was angry at Adam, the universe, or the whole dame situation, I suddenly had a temper that took a great deal of effort to control.

"You die," I said coldly. "Every time I have that vision, you die in my arms and no matter how hard I try, I can't save you."

Everyone at the table went silent, eyes flicking between Sam's awkward expression, Adam's shock, and my grief. Everyone except Crowley who simply didn't care and Castiel who was more distracted by his secondly ritual of staring at Dean and sighing dreamily.

"Do you…know when?" Adam finally asked, forcing himself to look away from me

"It doesn't matter when," Mary piped up, her eyes shooting daggers at everyone around the table. "Now, we will have no more talk of death, Croats, or anything having to do with the apocalypse at this table, y'all understand? This is the one corner of the world where you all have to shut up and stuff your faces or so help me Chuck, I will let you all starve. Is that clear?"

"Mary, I was only dead for a day," Bobby said slowly, not wanting to set off the woman who looked like she was going to pop at any moment. "Technically, this table is still mine."

"A woman needs command over at least one table in her life or she's got nothing," Becky shrugged. She looked over and winked at Mary who smiled back appreciatively.

Everybody fell silent once again, eyes kept down towards their plates. I looked around at all of them, my anger fueled by watching how easily they went on as though I hadn't just announced that the love of my life was destined to be killed. It all became so unbearable that I pushed out my chair and made a dash for the stairs.

"Chuck, wait!" Adam called after me, but I wasn't turning back. I heard his footsteps follow me up the stairs and into our room where he closed the door behind us. Panting heavily, face a weary mask, he asked, "Will you at least talk to me?"

"I need to leave," I said lowly, struggling to remain calm. "God told me to stop ignoring the visions, and they're telling me to go someplace. I don't want you to come with me."

"You mean…" he stared up at me with that lost puppy look that yanked painfully on my heartstrings. "You mean you're gonna leave me again?"

I nodded.

"Well…you're not!" he said defensively. "I won't let you, not this time. Not after you _promised_—"

"Adam, I refuse to risk your safety this time," I interrupted. "You're destined to die and I'm not gonna let it happen."

"And you taking my place is supposed to make it any better?" he cried, fisting his own hair in his hands.

"Believe me, this world is a much better place with you in it than with me," I said forcefully, pacing the room as the effort of remaining calm became too intense.

"This world is nothing without you, Chuck," Adam growled angrily as he realized what I meant. "If you're not here, then I've got no reason to stay. You're not leaving me again and if that means I have to follow you to the grave, then so be it."

"Why, Adam?" I shouted hysterically. "Why would you do that? All I want is for you to be safe!"

"Because I'm fucking in love with you, don't you get it?" he screamed at me. I took a step back, watching how my angel broke down with frightened tears. "Chuck…you _are_ my world now. You can't leave me, you just _can't_. I love you too much."

"Dammit, Adam, don't make this harder than it is," I whispered, unable to stop my tears while watching his fall so freely.

"Then don't leave me," he said, closing the space between us with a few quick steps.

He took my face with his hands and pulled my lips down to his, communicating all his fear, love, and heartbreak in one smooth motion. I gave up on trying to be strong for a moment and let myself melt into his arms like I always did when we first began. His arms wrapped all around my body, pulling me tighter to remind me that he wasn't going to let me leave anytime soon. For the time being, I just couldn't care.

Adam gently pushed me back onto the bed and easily began stripping the clothes we had barely managed to put on half an hour ago. The whole time he managed to keep his lips locked with mine, filling my mouth with the pure taste of him which was sweeter than any aphrodisiac. Then his lips disappeared, kissing a trail down my neck and chest, resting at that place just beneath my navel where all my nerves screamed with anticipation at him being so near. But instead of easing my nerves, he hooked his arms under my knees and dragged them up to the level of my chest as he leaned forward to kiss me again. I felt his fingers press against my entrance and I couldn't help whimpering with pleasure.

"Are you still going to leave me?" he whispered huskily into my ear.

"Adam…please," I panted, finding that my rapid heartbeat forced my breathing to become strained.

"NO," he growled forcefully, removing his fingers. "Not until you promise."

"I…I…" I couldn't even form coherent words in my head with the way my brain was short circuiting.

"Just one little promise," he whispered devilishly, forcing me to shiver beneath his touch.

"Promise," I repeated, trying to force out the word. "Promise…Adam, please…"

I felt his teeth clamp down on my shoulder while the fullness of him pressed into my entrance. I clenched my jaw tightly, holding back on the scream that threatened to rip through. But when he moved inside me, I couldn't help moaning loudly, pressing up against him.

This was different than all the other times we'd done it. Somehow, we'd managed to ignore the potential for the passion we now felt at full, raw force. Until then, it had always been just physical, but now our hearts were screaming at each other all the emotions that had been eroding at us all this time. It was only too bad that such a time was doomed to last for only a short time, though it seemed to be a wonderful forever in our minds.

I felt Adam's movements hitch and his arms grasp me even tighter than before, squeezing all the air out of my lungs, not that I was capable of breathing, anyway. Then he thrust into me harder and faster, bringing us both over the edge at once and we both exploded, crying out for each other since volume had no longer become an issue. Afterwards, we both held still, clinging to each other and panting heavily, neither of us wanting to move.

I closed my eyes as I felt him pull out and stand up. It wasn't until I felt something lock around my wrist that I opened them again. I saw that Adam had placed an iron hand cuff around my wrist, the other end attached to his own. grinning victoriously, he climbed back into bed and curled up against me.

"What's this?" I asked, holding up my arm which I noticed was shaking slightly.

"It's made from the chain Bobby and Sam used to kill a ghost named Luke…or Luther or something like that," he said, shrugging lightly. "Bobby didn't tell me much when he gave it to me. But you're not going anywhere without me. You're keeping that promise whether you like it or not."

I sighed heavily and closed my eyes again, wondering what I'd gotten myself into.


	30. Chapter 30

**Adam **

We lay there quietly for a long time. The room was nice and shady, not quite dark because it was bright outside, but the curtain kept out most of the light. It was nice to lie in bed with him in my arms, my fingers running over his skin. I still didn't know how in the world I had found this amazing person.

"Are you worried?" he asked me suddenly.

"Um… about…?" I asked, puzzled.

"The vision," he clarified, "the one that Sam and I keep having?"

I frowned a bit, holding him a bit closer to me. "A little. Are the visions ever wrong?" I asked hopefully.

"Only once, but that was when they were still just the angels' plans. Zachariah was definitely fallible." I shuddered at the name, once again grateful that the son of a bitch was dead. The memory of coughing up my own blood was still far too fresh and it kind of made me want to gag.

"Then there is no point to being scared, is there? If _both _of you see it, it's bound to happen." I ran my free hand through his hair and down his jaw line, smiling faintly. "I trust you. You'll find a way to keep me safe."

He looked up at me, his eyes determined if a bit worried. "I will. I promise."

"I know." I kissed him for a long time, gently and lovingly, just enjoying the feel of our mouths joining and parting, our naked bodies twined together. "I love you," I whispered slowly against his lips. "So much."

He smiled and kissed me all the more fervently, conveying his own love in a very _fun _way. Things up heated quickly, our mouths wandering from each other's to ghost across skin, biting and licking, leaving flushed pink marks behind. Soon I was buried inside of him as he writhed beneath me. We both cried out as we reached that point where the pleasure was impossible and I collapsed on him, kissing his neck.

I pulled him back into the same position we'd been in before, with him in my arms, and I sighed contently before smirking down at the chain still attached to each of our wrists. "I like how these aren't too much of a problem. They're kinda useful. And a bit kinky."

He laughed. "Only you would think so."

I shrugged lightly. "Oh, you _know _you do too." We were quiet for a few moments. "Where were you heading before when you wanted to leave again?"

"I'm not sure. I know that I need to find something. It's important- it's a book."

"What book?"

"I don't know." He was frowning, thinking again. "It was in the vision. A very, very old book."

I grinned. "Oh, yes, because _that's _specific."

He whacked me, albeit very lightly, on the arm. "We'd been looking for it. We had it when you… when you died. It might hold a clue to saving you."

I nodded, thinking all of that over. "Is finding it important to you?"

He hesitated before nodding. "Whatever it is, we need it."

"Okay, then we can go. _We _can find it, together, but you're taking me with you."

He was frowning. "What if we're just walking into the vision? If you stay here you could stay safe."

"Maybe, maybe not. Hunters, demons, croats, supply runs, angels… nothing is so safe in this world. If I'm going to die, I want to be with you for as long as possible." I lifting my arm and the chain connecting us rattled. "You won't find me easy to get rid of, either."

He sulked for a moment before nodding. "Okay. Then we should leave."

I stood up, carefully pulling on my clothes before letting my arm go limp so that he could use his. The second he was covered I kissed him again, pushing him against the wall as my free hand dove into his hair. "You sure?"

He nodded, his face flushed as we both breathed unevenly. "Come on."

We headed out of the room and managed to _not _run into anyone, so we left a note on the counter. I happily took the keys to the impala, mentally smirking at how loud Dean would be yelling when he figured out that we'd taken it.

Driving away in the impala felt nice; it was almost like we were running away, but a lot like being free. I liked having my family, but I liked being alone with him even more.

The road stretched out in front of us, the sun starting to set in flamboyant purples and pinks and oranges on the horizon, and I felt right at home.

* * *

_AN: Sorry, it's the shorest one yet. Family coming for my grandma's funeral and finals wearing me out... =) Plus, lack of plot bunnies in my head currently and new shows and season finales... craziness! Reviews are love! Please tell me how I did with the first scene I've ever written that was worthy of the M title. =) _


	31. Chapter 31

**Chuck**

I did most of the driving since Adam couldn't feel the hunches leading us farther away from home. Unfortunately, that meant I got little sleep. After two days of dealing with my moodiness, Adam finally stopped the car and threatened to turn it around unless I got a full night of sleep which I agreed to reluctantly. After two more incidents just like that, we finally reached the ocean.

"What now?" Adam asked as we got out of the car and walked towards the beach.

"I guess we cross over to Europe and try to pick back up on the path from there," I sighed, imagining going days without picking up the trail again. We'd gone on detours by accident when I was too tired to realize we'd veered from the path and it was hard to find again.

Adam took my hand and smiled, portraying his trust in me with such a simple glance. I nodded and closed my eyes, teleporting us off the beach. But rather than appearing on the next landmass over, I felt the ground disappear from my feet and be replaced with open air and ocean below. We fell for a few seconds before hitting the water, then all senses were lost to me.

I don't know how to swim. It's just that simple. I tried taking a bath once, growing up, and I nearly drowned. Since then, I never bothered learning and kept to showers. That's why when Adam's arm wrapped around my waist and dragged me up, I could've sworn that he was an angel. We rose to the surface, gasping and sputtering out the water we'd inhaled.

"What the hell, Chuck?" Adam shouted as he caught his breath and struggled to keep me afloat.

"Something stopped us," I coughed, trying not to flail my arms like a dying bird. "We must have been about to pass something."

"In the middle of the fucking ocean? Does Nemo need our help or something?"

"Maybe there's something beneath the water," I said, spitting up more salt water.

"Okay, just stay here and don't drown," he instructed quickly before taking a deep breath and disappearing beneath the surface.

I closed my eyes tightly and leaned back so that I was fully exposed to the setting sun. I tried not to imagine that the water was drifting me away because that would surely take therapy to forget. After a while, I began to worry that Adam had been snatched up by a shark or something. Oddly enough, the reminder that he was supposed to die _later_ was my only comfort. Finally, I heard him splashing around and gasping for air. He swam over to me and grinned.

"What happened?" I asked worriedly as the sun glistening off his skin made him look like a lunatic. "Is Nemo alright?"

"Chuck, you gotta look under the water!" he exclaimed. "It's the most amazing thing I've ever seen!"

"What?" I gulped nervously.

"Okay, second best," he said, rolling his eyes as he pulled my body closer to his.

"Chuck, I no swim," I stuttered, shaking my head quickly. "I suck at floating, swimming down is a no-no!"

"Relax," he chuckled. "You don't have to swim far. Besides, I've got you. All you've got to do is hold your breath, alright?"

There was that smile of confidence that could make any person feel like king of the world. I took a deep breath and nodded. He grasped my hand tightly and ducked under the water, dragging me with him. I tried to remember that I wasn't allowed to hyperventilate under water but slipped enough to release a few air bubbles from my mouth. But when Adam pointed to me what he'd seen, I opened my mouth in such a gape that there was no air left.

On the floor of the ocean, there was a cave or something that was in the direct path of the evening sun. Whatever was there on the floor glittered in such perfect shapes and colors that it formed a picture of the Vatican Church. One window in particular was shining brighter than the whole picture. I didn't have time to admire it much longer—I'd just sucked in a lungful of salt water. Adam dragged me back up to the surface and patted my back until I'd coughed up all the water.

"The Vatican?" I asked as soon as I'd caught my breath. "You suppose that's where we're headed?"

"I wouldn't want to go the rest of my life without seeing the place if it isn't," he shrugged. "It's worth checking out. Now can you get us out of here?"

I gratefully nodded and squeezed his hand, teleporting once more someplace where the ocean had disappeared along with the sunset. It was nighttime and we were standing on a windy beach surrounded by high cliffs.

"Stop for sleep?" Adam suggested, his teeth chattering from the cold.

I nodded and followed as he led the way up the steep cliffs until we reached the top. Off in the distance, was a small cabin, completely dark which could only mean that the owners were dead. Once we reached it, we found dry clothes and some preserved food in the pantry. But as the night got colder, Adam went out to look for some firewood. I watched him walking away from a window in the kitchen, just wishing he would keep me warm himself.

"You scared yet?" Jesse asked, suddenly standing at my side. _Spirit guide_ I had to remind myself.

"Terrified," I admitted. "I love him so much…and I'm walking him to his doom. Does that seem fair to you?"

"You tell me," he scoffed. "Your boyfriend gets to go off and be a happy little angel while we're stuck here dealing with the apocalypse."

"Are you saying it would be selfish of me to keep him alive?" I asked quietly, not wanting to think about it any longer.

"No, completely unselfish," he said. "You've both made it abundantly clear that if one dies, the other's following. The world needs God right now, and God needs Adam. So he's more useful alive."

"Thanks, but you clearly show no emotion towards either of us right now," I sighed. "Real Jesse is much cooler than you."

"Whatever," he shrugged. "Enjoy him while you can. He's apparently got an expiration date."

I turned to glare at Jesse, but found that he'd already disappeared. At that moment, Adam walked through the door, grinning victoriously as he held up a large pile of pre-cut logs. But then he saw the expression on my face and dropped them all to the floor. In two seconds flat, he had crossed over to the kitchen and pinned me to the counter, yanking my mouth to his. I wasn't totally sure what my expression had been at the moment, but I made a mental note to practice it because Adam was tearing moans from my throat with his majestic talents, keeping our bodies closely wrapped together. All I knew before my thoughts were completely wiped away by his tongue was that I never wanted it to end. I never wanted _my_ Adam to leave.


	32. Chapter 32

**Adam**

I saw the upset expression on his face as I walked in the door and it tugged at my heart. I knew it was impossible to shield him from everything bad in the world, but that didn't stop me from wanting to. Considering that there was no one but us around for miles (something that yes, I _had_ been thinking a lot about…), I figured that it was probably his spirit guide messing with him again. I really hated that thing.

I crossed the room as quickly as I could, dropping the wood I had so carefully gathered, and pinned him to the counter so that I could kiss him with all that I had in me. I hadn't exactly meant to kiss him quite so deeply, or for it to grow any more passionate than it had started, but it was out of my control. The moans he was making fueled my enthusiasm and I could feel myself growing hard. I ground against him and he gasped, his mouth opening wider. I took the opportunity to push my tongue farther in, moaning at the wet heat of his mouth engulfing my tongue. I pushed my hands under his shirt, trailing them up his chest, before pulling my mouth from his to kiss his neck. I pulled his wet shirt off of him, but as I did I remembered the state of our clothes. It was really getting cold out, so although I was all hot and tingly now I knew that we needed to warm ourselves before we got sick. It took a lot of effort, but I pushed myself away. He whimpered at the loss of contact and I couldn't help but smile a little at the effect I had on him. "I have to start a fire," I told him, kissing his forehead as his eyes started to gain some clarity once more. "Wouldn't want us to freeze to death."

Chuck nodded mutely. He looked dazed still, like he had not yet regained the power of speech. In a completely tingly, very naughty way I didn't want him to start rationally thinking again. I wanted to keep him mesmerized like this forever… or at least all night. With that in mind I stripped out of my shirt and pants. I could see it in his eyes that I was winning as I closed the short distance between us and unbuttoned his pants as well. "Wet clothes will only make us colder," I explained as I nudged him into stepping out of his soggy jeans. I could feel that my erection was entirely noticeable, but even if I hadn't guessed that I would have known by the way that his eyes were drawn downward. He took a huge gulp and I grinned triumphantly. I ran my fingers through his wet and slightly frizzed hair, my hands fisting in it as I dragged his mouth to mine once more. I was completely in control of this kiss, but my body betrayed me by wanting _so much more. _Right now I wanted nothing more than to take him, prove that he was mine, but the tiny, sensible part of my brain reminded me of my previous task.

I pulled away from him and took a couple steps back so that I wouldn't give in again before I started searching the drawers for matches. Once I found some it was fairly easy to light a fire in the large living room fireplace. I dragged warm (if slightly moth eaten) blankets out of a hall closet and found some pillows in a back bedroom. I pulled them into the main room and set them a few feet from the fire. The room was already starting to heat up. And on the thought of things heating up…

Chuck was standing where I'd left him. He had been watching me go through the house with a sort of amusement. "See something you like?"

He smirked right back at me and my arousal grew even more. "Maybe," he teased. I dragged his lips back to mine and kissed him as hard as I could. I pulled him down onto the blankets and pillows, quickly pulling off our boxers- the only clothes still in the way. We both gasped as all of our skin came in contact. This was our first time in days- we'd been on the road and all, but after so long I was hornier than I had ever been. It was only a few moments before I had him under me and I was pushing inside him. It wasn't exactly gentle, but my control had snapped long ago. I thrust down hard, pushing deeper and deeper into him as he moaned beneath me. He pushed back against me, begging me to go even deeper inside of him. As I thrust down with my hips I hit that spot inside of him, the ultimate pleasure, and he all out screamed. I pushed in at a faster pace, trying to hit it as much as possible until he was moaning and screaming, calling out my name in his sweet ecstasy. He screamed and clutched onto me tightly as he came on the blanket beneath us. His muscles clenched around my cock and the tight heat, along with his screams, made me reach my climax as well, coming inside him. For a while we lay there, spent and breathing heavily. I kissed my way up his neck and licked at the shell of his ear making him whimper before pulling out of him and rolling away. "I love you," I whispered, drawing him back into my arms. His head rested on my chest and I carded my fingers through his hair. "I love you so, so much."

"I love you too," he said, kissing my chest. I smiled and drew one of the _cleaner _warm blankets around us, a pillow under my head.

"Goodnight," I mumbled exhaustedly. I was asleep before he could reply.

I woke up the next morning as the sun was just starting to shine through the windows. Chuck was still laying against me; half of my side had gone to sleep from his weight, but I didn't really mind. I ran my fingers through his messy hair again, patiently waiting for him to wake. I was in no real rush; I was perfectly content just where I was.

Of course he woke up soon anyways, yawning and stretching. I grinned as the blanket fell down to his waist when he sat up, just _barely _covering…

I sat up as well, looking over at the fire. It was barely alive and the house was cold now, but I supposed that was to be expected. Our clothes looked dry, however, as they'd thankfully been shed for the most part near the fire. I stood and stretched before gathering mine and putting them back on. I tossed Chuck's to him and watched mournfully as he did the same. As soon as he was dressed I pinned him to the wall, kissing him furiously and gently all at once. "Morning," I whispered against his lips. "Did you sleep well?" I pulled his bottom lip into my mouth and sucked on it gently, pulling at it with my teeth.

"Mmm…" he moaned incoherently. I trailed my hands from his shoulders down to his waist and kissed him for a while longer, our tongues meeting and battling for dominance before I pulled away.

"Should we get going again?"

He sighed and nodded, taking my hand and dragging me back out of the house. We drove off into the early morning sunlight and, though the scenery here in whatever part of Europe we had managed to end up in was amazing, I turned to look at my beautiful boyfriend instead. Nothing in the world could even begin to compare with his magnificence. After a few minutes of my staring he turned to look at me, shifting around self-consciously. "What?"

I grinned at how uncomfortable I'd made him. It was kind of fun getting him all bothered… and yeah, I was a totally mean person. "Nothing. Just thinking about how perfect you are."

He blushed and looked back at the road. "I'm not perfect."

I quickly leaned across the seat and kissed him on the cheek, then on the neck. He whimpered slightly as I pulled back away and settled into my seat again. "I'll agree to disagree on that one." I turned on the music and likewise looked out the window, staring at the green rolling hills and trees everywhere. "Where are we?"

"My best guess is southern France."

I nodded. "I've never been to France… but we're near Italy?" I smiled at my memories. "That's a _fun _country."

He didn't answer, focusing on the road and whatever trail he was working hard to follow. I watched the scenery pass by for a few hours. Sometimes we passed through towns and raided for food. It was starting to get dark again we came to a huge city. "What is this?"

"The Vatican," he said in awe. "Where the pope lives!"

I snorted. "If he's not dead or turned already."

Chuck frowned. "What a waste…" We got out of the car and walked in, finally stopping as we reached the front doors to the large church/living place. I honestly didn't know what it was, my mom hadn't been overly religious and I'd never been to church as a kid, much less versed in Catholic history. "So, what now?"

"Um…" I spied the rather large, heavy looking knockers on the door. "Knock? I don't think there's a doorbell…" He looked uncertain so I picked one up and dropped it. The large _boom _it made against the wood made me jump slightly and I blushed a bit, embarrassed at spooking myself.

But I was even more frightened when the door opened and I got a glimpse of the very _large _gun barrel pointed at my head and exactly who was holding it….

* * *

_AN: This one was a bit longer. =) And much more detailed. Thank my boyfriend for being patient, actually helping me write this, and taking all of my "ew"s in stride. Isn't he the best? Anyways, I left my cliffie just where I'd promised Laura I would, so you can kill her for it. ^.^ Reviews are love, and I'd really like some feedback. I swear, this chapter took me like five hours to write..._


	33. Chapter 33

**Chuck**

The pope was nothing as I'd imagined him to be. Just a frail old man with squint lines all over his face, shaking delicately as he pointed the shotgun at Adam and me. To be honest, I was a little disappointed. I had expected him to be some grand figure, glowing in Angel light. This was just sad. His squinty eyes looked back and forth between us, then he mumbled something in such a weak voice that it barely sounded human.

"What?" Adam asked, frowning. I saw on his face that he was just as disappointed as me.

The pope mumbled something again, this time a little louder, but less understandable. I quickly tapped into his head and felt out the question that he was having difficulty keeping at the front of his mind.

"My name is Chuck," I said, loudly, guessing that would be hard of hearing. "And this is Adam Winchester."

The pope mumbled something again that vaguely resembled Adam's last name, then another sentence to follow. I felt out what he'd just said and translated.

"He's heard of you," I told Adam. More mumbling. "He says that Winchester is the reason for the apocalypse."

Adam scowled at the little man, but held his tongue.

"Sir, we've been sent here for something," I said slowly to let the man's slow mind process it. "You see, I'm a prophet, and right now my job is to assist in stopping the apocalypse. Do you know of anything that might have called us here?"

"Pofey Chuh?" the pope gasped, his jaw dropping, showing the toothless cavern inside.

Then he nodded and turned away. Adam and I followed as he waddled down the grand halls, dragging the large gun behind him. I would have offered to carry it for him, but he looked like someone to take offense.

The church looked nothing like I remembered from all the documentaries I'd seen. Everything was dusty and cracked as though it hadn't been cared for in a long time. The pope led us to an area I recognized as the archives, though it more resembled the one from the movie Angels and Demons. All the stacks and shelves had been toppled over and the glass walls were shattered on the ground. The pope stepped over the open frame where the door once stood and hobbled right over to a pile of old papers, uprooting an envelope and brandishing it at me. I took the ages parchment and began reading the paper inside. It was written in a language I didn't recognize, but the words easily flowed to me as though it was plain English.

"What's it say?" Adam asked curiously, attempting to read over my shoulder.

"It's from someone named Markus," I said, frowning. "It says that he was some kind of secret guardian to the prophet Luke. He was keeping a detailed journal of their time together and the last entry is of how Luke died. It seems as though the guy got in one last prophecy about a changed version of the apocalypse and detailed descriptions on how to put a stop to all of it. But only the guardian of a prophet can find it. Adam, would that be you?"

"Well I _have_ sworn to keep you breathing no matter what," he said thoughtfully. "So I guess it's possible."

"Then we've got to start looking right away!" I said excitedly, tucking the envelope into my jacket pocket. "Where do you suppose we should start?"

The pope mumbled again, motioning with his shotgun.

"What'd he say?" Adam asked.

"We've got to get out or he'll shove the gun up our asses," I gulped, staring down at the little man and wondering if he was really capable of it.

"Kinky," Adam nodded appreciatively, then frowned. "Isn't he supposed to be some kind of holy man?"

The pope scoffed and began muttering more as he walked away.

"He gave up on all that after the apocalypse had started," I translated. "He just doesn't see the point in remaining a good guy if he's just gonna die anyway."

"Kinda feel bad for him," Adam said, tilting his head as we walked back down the halls. "He's going to die here all alone. That's really gotta suck."

"Should we send him to Bobby?" I asked. "Give him a proper resting place and all that."

"No, he'd leave this place kicking and screaming," Adam chuckled. "Probably have a heart attack, poor thing. Should we put him out of his misery?"

"I suppose he'd be better off as an angel anyway," I shrugged. I raised my hand towards the back of the small man as he continued waddling towards the main entrance. In a second he had fallen down, paler than he had been before if that was even possible.

"Sleep well, buddy," Adam said as we passed his body.

The hunches were somehow passed onto Adam after leaving the Vatican. That meant our roles were switched since he was the only one with the sense of direction and got little sleep. Three days later, two night's I'd forced him to sleep, and one round of very uncomfortable car sex which wasn't worth describing later, they found themselves standing in front of a large forest in Romania without enough space for a car to pass through.

"It's in there, I know it," he said, nodding towards the woods as though he needed to convince himself.

"Are you absolutely sure?" I asked, hating how vividly I recognized the area. "I don't want to go in unless we're totally sure."

"Yes, I'm sure," he said exasperatedly with a kind smile. "Now let's go."

"Adam, wait!" I called as he began walking forward. I grabbed his arm and pulled him back, latching myself onto his body like a child to a teddy bear.

"I know, Chuck, I know," he whispered soothingly, holding me tighter. "This is where it happens, isn't it?" I nodded into his shoulder. "Well this is where we tell fate to go screw himself because I'm not leaving you behind on this sorry Earth. When are you gonna get that through your thick skull?"

I shook my head and reached up to kiss him fiercely. He had obviously been hiding more emotion than he let on, because he kissed me right back as though it was the last kiss in the universe. His lips gently pried mine apart and his tongue darted into my mouth, massaging away all the tension in my body. It all ended way too soon. We separated, just barely a breath away, and stood there for a long time doing nothing more than breathing.

"Let's get this over with quickly," he whispered pleadingly against my lips.

I nodded, taking his hand, and faced the woods. We both walked forward, taking measured steps ad listening intently for any sound. At any snap of a twig or sudden flight of a bird, we both jumped ad held still until all was silent again. After twenty minutes of quickly walking, Adam pointed out a stone structure which was almost perfectly concealed by trees. Walking up to it, we saw that it was seven waist-high stones all in a small circle surrounding a larger stone in the center which supported a small silver bowl.

"There's an inscription on the side," Adam whispered, pointing to the center stone. He and I walked up to it.

"Only the blood of the guardian, willingly given," I read. "Suppose that's supposed to open it or something?"

"Couldn't hurt to try," Adam shrugged.

He pulled out his pocket knife and held it against his palm. I cringed as it cut into his skin which instantly began to bleed. He held his hand over the bowl and let a few drops fall. I quickly pulled his hand back and began wrapping it up with the scarf I had brought with me. At the same time, the blood in the bowl began funneling downwards until it completely disappeared.

"Does it want more or something?" I asked worriedly as we watched the bowl empty.

"Greedy little bastard," Adam laughed then winced as I pulled the scarf a little tight.

One of the surrounding stones suddenly toppled over, revealing a deep hole underneath. I went over to it and looked down at the little wooden box that had been buried. I pulled it up slowly as the fragile wood began falling apart in my hands. Inside was a small leather bound book with a fancy M embroidered on the cover.

"Is that it?" Adam asked as I handed the notebook to him.

"Yeah," I said.

"Wow…" he whispered, staring down at the little book in his hands. "Chuck, this might be able to save us all. It just seems so…special."

"Right, now let's get out of here," I said hurriedly, taking his hand to teleport.

"Wait," he said stopping me. "It's obviously empty out here otherwise you would have sensed another presence, wouldn't you?"

"I do happen to have that talent," I admitted slowly, trying to figure out what he was getting at.

"We're going straight home after this," he said, smiling warmly. "Back to the crowded house and all the crappy drama and family love that comes with it. Can't we just enjoy a few more minutes alone?"

He stuck out his bottom lip in a pout and widened his puppy eyes in such a sad way that it tugged on my heartstrings. Just to emphasize the effect, he took my hand and placed it over his beating heart.

"Just a few," I allowed reluctantly. "But if I think that anything is wrong here, _anything at all_, we're going home."

He grinned victoriously and leaned forward to kiss me lightly. Then he hooked his arm around mine and set a slow walking pace through the forest. For a few minutes, everything was silent, but peacefully so. Then Adam sighed contentedly and spoke.

"I can't believe we actually found it," he said excitedly. "It's just so amazing."

"I really think we ought to get back to the house," I said pleadingly as the conversation fit together in my head.

"I just want a few more minutes with you," he said, holding me tighter.

I knew in an instant what happened next. I had seen it so many times in my nightmares that it was permanently burned beneath my eyelids. Adam was about to die. But I felt no disturbance in the forest, no sign of life. But I couldn't let it end the way I'd seen it, Adam deserved much better than that.

I quickly stepped into his path and dragged his lips to mine, my hands protectively winding around his delicate throat. He was too surprised by the first action to realize the second and melted into the kiss. Within that split second, his lips parted for me and his hands pulled my waist against his.

But as I changed what the vision had shown me, another change occurred. I felt a tingle run along my own neck, then a sting, and the warm trickle of blood as it stained the front of my shirt. Adam pulled away from me and looked down. I saw the terror dawn on his face and I smiled. He would still be able to make that adorable face even if I wasn't around to see it.

My head because extremely light as I toppled to the ground. I felt Adam's hands on my face in a second, shaking me. I heard him screaming my name over and over, but then hearing was lost to me. My blood flow stopped and everything went cold. But before I lost consciousness completely, I felt the slice on my neck burn white hot.

AN: sorry about the lapse in updates—I was temporarily exiled to some foreign dimension where there was no internet, therefore no updates. But all's better now, so enjoy and review!


	34. Chapter 34

**Adam**

I wanted to die. I knew it was impossible, but I somehow felt that if I could just die and put fate back on its intentional path, everything would be okay. Chuck wouldn't be lying there so still and barely breathing, dying in my place. Why couldn't I have just listened to him?

This was all my fault.

_God, _I prayed as I dropped to the ground beside him and pulled his head onto my lap, _please, please, I don't care what the price is- give him back? _I sounded pathetic, even in my head, as the tears started to fall.

When I opened my eyes again he was completely still, even his faint semblance of breathing gone. The light in his eyes had vanished and left me cold and empty in its wake. Everything in this forest was still. My mind had frozen on one word like a soundtrack on a loop: _no, no, no, no, no, no, no... _

How could I get home? Alone I was entirely helpless, entirely unable to fix this, and going to die. Though I wanted that, some part of me was saying that he hadn't wanted it, and that should be enough reason for me to try to stay alive. Now, who _could _help in this situation? I thought of home, of my family, of Sam and Dean- my mind gave a little jolt recognition, telling me that I almost had the answer-, John and Mary, Bobby and Crowley- again, that jolt, so close-, Jesse and Castiel... Castiel. There is was. As an angel he could teleport, and also...

... he could heal people. Maybe, if I was really lucky, he could bring people back sometimes, too.

When calling for Cas didn't work, I reached into Chuck's pocket and pulled out his phone. I punched in Dean's number and cringed when he picked up and started off, "Dammit, I'm busy." His breaths were gasping over the line and I so did not want to think about that...

"Yeah. Yeah, I know. Look, just, send Cas. Please?"

"Now? Adam!" He sounded like a whiny two year old.

"Dean! It's important."

"But-"

"Yes?" I spun around, slamming the phone shut, and saw Cas watching me. His clothes were uneven and he had total sex hair, all sticking up around his head. Ew. My brother screwing an angel... yeah, this was definitely the end of the world.

I looked down at Chuck's limp, pale, _dead _body and stopped caring about the strange fetishes of angels. "Fix him." I hated how needy, how desperate, my voice sounded, but I knew deep down that I would do absolutely anything for that man.

Castiel tilted his head to the side. "Why?"

My jaw dropped. "Why? What happened to hope and miracles and _God _and all that crap?" Cas said nothing. "I need him!" I sounded like a two year old about to throw a fit, but I felt like one, too. "I want him back _right now! _You _owe _me, damn it!" That was a low blow- Dean still owed me, but I'd long considered Cas and I even. I'd use anything, fair or unfair, to get Chuck back now though.

"We will be even, then?" Cas asked rhetorically. He disappeared... and stayed gone. I started to worry again; I was entirely helpless to fix this on my own. But then there was that quiet rush of air and Cas was back, kneeling over Chuck's corpse.

"Can you save him?"

Castiel had been concentrating hard, but he looked up at me now, glaring as he gave me a "shut the hell up" look. "His soul was almost back to God's base; I would not have been able to revive him then." He gave stared at me with his frighteningly detached yet piercing blue eyes, silently commanding me to be quiet while he did what he could to fix this for me. I obliged, sitting quietly against a tree and watching. For a few moments nothing happened, but then something in the atmosphere changed. It was like a charge tingling through the air. The hairs on my arms stood on end and a chill went through my spine; this was magic and, though the human in me screamed that it was "off", I was excited that this was working. A faint light that I could barely see, leaving me to suspect that it was on a different spectrum, began to fill the air between them. Everything in the forest was suspended, breathless, as this light grew to be blinding, washing out every color from my normal spectrum and making me began to panic that I might go entirely blind. But then it faded and in the silence I heard Chuck take a gasping breath, his eyes opening. Cas met my gaze and disappeared.

I pulled Chuck into my arms, my face buried in his blood stained shirt, and I was a little bit ashamed to realize that I was sobbing. His arms came around me as he began to hold me back. I felt him bury his face in my hair. I realized that I was shaking us both with my sobs and I tried to stop, pulling away from him a bit. "Please, don't leave me again? You _promised!" _He looked sad as he stared at me.

"But it's all fine now...?" He was trying to make me feel better, but we both knew nothing could except the promise that he wouldn't- couldn't- lightly give again.

"Please, please, please?" I knew that begging wouldn't likely work, but my mind was so tired. I felt like a toddler begging for his favorite toy.

I barely noticed as the setting changed and now we were back in our room at Bobby's. We were sitting on the bed. "Adam, I can't..."

"Please?" I could feel the killer of all kicked puppy expressions on my face, and I could see that he wanted to cave.

But he didn't. "I love you," he whispered as he kissed me. I felt his tears joining my own, and so I gave up on the battle of wills for the moment. I kissed him back and held him close. My heart was almost hurting with how much I wanted to keep him forever and ever.

"I know, I love you too," I whispered against his lips. "Please, don't make me ever let you go..." It was almost a bittersweet victory, but I had him back in my arms, and that was worth more to me than anything else in this dark, dismal, damned world.

* * *

_AN: Hey, sorry it's late (and unbeta'd, sadly)... I'm out of town and not allowed on internet, so it took a lot of super secret spy skills and late night silent typing on the loudest freaking keyboard in existence. =) Reviews are love, tell me what you thought? Sorry I couldn't do much more, just ran out of time... _


	35. Chapter 35

**Chuck**

I honestly can't remember doing a thing in my life that would make me such a lucky being. Of all the people who had been brought back throughout history, my entire army included, my resurrection back into the world was…magical. That one word just kept fluttering through my mind during the moments after teleporting Adam back to the house. Only moments ago, I was cold and dead, following a bright light that would recruit me into God's army. Now I was with Adam, feeling his lips against my skin in a frenzy of passion that was fueled by anger and relief.

My mind was too distracted to remember how he'd gotten my clothes off—I was concentrating on how he had my arms pinned above my head and the way his ankles were hooked around mine to keep them immobile.

"Adam," I whined, my fingers reaching for him, fruitless against his strong grip.

He laughed softly, but otherwise ignored me and continued biting at my neck. A small voice in my mind reminded me that Mary hated finding hickeys on her boys. I couldn't help grinning as his teeth scraped down a vein that ran beneath my collar. I pulled against his hands again, just wanting to feel him even more, but he held firm. I raised my hips and roughly ground against his erection, causing him to loosen his grip just enough for me to work my wrists free. I quickly rolled him over so that I was straddling his waist.

"You got me, I give," he chuckled, experimentally rolling his hips, but I wasn't so easily fooled. Though, that didn't mean I was able to resist the moan that bubbled up my throat.

"Sorry, I know how you prefer the top," I said with a smile. "But I'll make it worth your while."

"Why do I not doubt you?" he asked with a sly smile.

I grinned down at him and silenced his question with a kiss, his lips instantly opening for my tongue. Forcing my concentration to divide in half, I reached between our bodies and positioned myself so that I could lower my hips onto his erection and bring him inside me. Adam cried out loudly, his fingers digging into my thighs and his back arching off the bed. My spine caved in and I fell forward, clinging to his chest with all I had while never stopping the movement of my hips.

"Well, if that ain't a sight to be seen," Crowley chuckled, easily strolling into the room.

"Shit!" Adam squeaked, leaping up from fright. We both scrambled around, desperately attempting to cover ourselves while the demon crossed the room, Dean skittishly following on his trail.

"Don't blame me," Crowley said lazily. He tilted his head towards Dean. "He told me to."

"But now that we're all…somewhat decent," Dean muttered, purposefully not looking at his brother, "you can leave, Crowley."

Crowley shrugged and disappeared a moment later.

"Dean, what the Hell is your problem?" Adam shouted while Dean took the seat Crowley had just been sitting on.

"Payback," Dean shrugged. "See how you like being interrupted? Not fun."

"Payback executed, now will you get out?" Adam whined, throwing a pillow at his big brother.

"Nah, this is getting' too funny," Dean laughed, reclining in the chair as though the situation was absolutely normal. "But seriously, if you guys don't come down for dinner in ten, Mary's gonna throw a fit. You couldn't bother letting anyone know that you were leaving, the least you could do is honor us with your presence at the table. And for the sake of my stomach, try not to smell like sex?"

"If your stomach is in such a delicate place, I suggest you leave now," I said in a purr of a voice. I wrapped my arms around Adam's waist and grinned in a way that made Dean pale.

"Seriously, dude?" Dean said, visibly chocking up. "You can't wait for that until I leave the room?"

"What can I say, we were in the middle of something," I shrugged, playfully dancing my fingers across Adam's chest.

"Okay, geeze, I'm leaving!" he muttered, quickly getting out of the chair so that he could run over to the door. "Sure you'll be able to get the job done in ten minutes?"

"Do you really want to know that about your brother?" I countered.

Dean made a face like he was considering it in his mind, then obviously decided against it because he shuddered and closed the door as he left the room.

"Now," Adam said, rolling us over so that he was on top again. "Where were we?"

Fifteen minutes later, we stumbled to our seats at the kitchen table, met by many odd stares and not-so-subtle snickering from Crowley's end. We both kept our faces turned down so nobody could see our smiles.

"So, are you gonna tell us where you were?" Mary said curtly, stabbing her potatoes with unnecessary force.

"Nope," Adam shrugged. "We enjoy watching you suffer, Mom. We're just mean that way."

He looked up at Mary to grin in a teasing way, but was met by everybody staring at him with sad expressions. John and Mary were tearing up. Sam and Dean were caught between confusion and a little anger.

"What?" Adam asked innocently. He turned to me for help.

"You, uh…just said…Mom," I said quietly.

"No, I said Mary," he said forcefully, but in the voice that meant he was trying to convince himself that was how he remembered it.

"Hey," I said softly, gripping his hand. "She's like a mom to all of us."

"Thanks, Chuck," Mary said quietly, pointedly looking away.

"No offense, Mary, but you heard wrong," Adam said bitterly, backing away from the table and quickly leaving the table.

"Before you go off to comfort your damsel, take some food," Bobby said, shoving the plates my way. "You two haven't eaten in a while, I'm guessing and all that calorie burning upstairs ain't helping."

"Maybe I should talk to him," Jesse suggested. "I understand missing my mom and all."

"Why, what happened?" Sam asked curiously. "You never talk about your past, so I think we're all curious."

Jesse seemed to mentally shut down, looking away uncomfortably. That one expression looked oddly familiar to me and something in my mind searched through all of my memories of my fuzzy pre-god state until one finally clicked.

"Holy crap, how did I not see it before?" I whispered, feeling my eyes widen dramatically. "You're Jesse!"

"Chuck, this might just be your dorkiest moment yet," Dean said, staring at me as though I was a time bomb. "Mind explaining something that we're obviously not getting here?"

"Sam, Dean, I though you of all people would remember him!" I shouted, standing up and backing away from Jesse who looked positively horrified.

"No way," Sam whispered, catching on. He stood up and joined me in backing away from the kid.

Dean, who was sitting next to Jesse, looked towards him, still confused. Then something in his mind clicked and his eyes widened dramatically, his jaw dropping.

"Cas, did you know about this?" he asked quietly. He looked over at the angel who sat directly across from him.

"He asked me not to say," Castiel said, giving Dean an apologetic shrug.

"Traitor," Jesse muttered. He snapped his fingers and Castiel disappeared. In his place was a Barbie sized angel, plastic and all. Everybody stood up then and began backing away from the demon child.


	36. Chapter 36

**Adam**

I'd found a tree out back to sit by while I stewed over my angst. I knew that I was being difficult and unreasonable, but hell, I was still technically a teenager. I figured that I was entitled to throwing hissy fits every once in a while.

I was a bit surprised when it was Jesse who finally found me. I was twice as surprised that he looked even more pissed than I'd felt over the last year combined. Really, that was a lot of anger, but this boy was _definitely _winning the medal. He slumped down next to me and crossed his arms, glaring at the sunset.

We were silent for a good fifteen minutes, but after a while I found my anger fading. With a glance at him I could tell that his wasn't, and all that anger was kind of painful to even be near. "Do you want to talk about it?" I asked carefully.

He frowned. "No."

I nodded and waited, not about to leave him no matter how awkward this was. I could see that he needed a friend.

"Actually, yes." I grinned- half a win. "But _only," _he defended, "because I should tell you first before they fill your head with…" He sighed. "Not lies, but they're _wrong." _

"Um… that would make more sense if I knew what you were talking about, I'm sure," I offered, trying not to feel out of the loop. After all, I was the one who has stormed out for no real solid reason other than fear of facing myself.

"I'm sort of… the anti-christ."

"Um. That's… interesting?" I tried. He shot me a look and I shrugged. "What? How do you expect me to react?"

"Back away with wide eyes, run away screaming like a little girl, try to kill me? I've gotten all three at some point." The bitterness was so thick in the air between us that I swore I could cut it with a butter knife.

"But that would be… mean. I mean, I don't even know what the anti-christ is, but, it can't be _that _bad, right?"

He laughed, a slightly crazy, maniacal laugh, but I could tell that underneath he was just confused and a bit hopeful. And scared to be hopeful. Ah, the world was cruel.

He pulled out of his pocket what looked like an action figure and held it out to me. I took it, but I gave him a strange look first. "O-kay, what…?" But then I actually looked at it and I frowned, tilting my head as I turned the little plastic figurine around in my fingers. "Is that… you didn't…?"

Jesse grinned, a bit sadly, but he also looked pleased that he was finally getting the reaction he expected. Apparently, incoherency would do in the place of total disgust and fear. "Yes to the first, yes to the second, and to the unspoken, my powers are so far pretty limitless. They rival Chuck's, honestly."

"So… why didn't you tell us this before?"Jesse was giving me the crazy look, the look I'd only gotten once and grown to hate. "What?" I asked defensively.

"You're not… you don't seem scared. I mean, damn, Adam, I turned your friend into a fucking plastic doll and you aren't even _worried?" _

"Language," I chastised on instinct and he gave me an even more incredulous look. It broke the ice a bit, though, so when I laughed he laughed a bit with me. "Well, you're going to turn him _back, _right? He probably deserved it."

Jesse took the plastic mini-Cas back from me and set him on the grass. "Yeah, I'll turn him back in a bit." He shook his head a bit sadly. "You should have seen their faces. They were all backing away, terrified…. I hate them."

Poor kid looked so hurt. "You don't hate them. They're your family."

Jesse ran a hand through his hair as he laughed a tad hysterically. "I've had a lot of families. They've all caused me pain. What makes this one different?"

I looked up at the just barely visible stars in the new dark of the night and considered that. "Well, _I _reacted different, didn't I? So I'll make sure you don't _always _get hurt. Just think of me as your older brother. God know this family's dealed with screwier things."

"Huh." He sounded thoughtful, and a bit calmer. "Never thought of that."

I shrugged. "There's a place for every screwed up misfit here, kiddo. Speaking of. Are you the Jesse we know or _was _that a lie? 'Cause I'm accepting and all, but just curious…. What about Jen and Sami all that?"

"Nope, I'm still just Jesse." He sounded a bit wistful. "Or rather, I was, until I saw this stupid angel here and remembered."

"Remembered…?"

"That'd be getting ahead of my story."

He didn't continue, though, so I prompted, "Go for it."

"I will," he promised, "just trying to figure out where to start."

"At the beginning?" I was only half joking- generally finding the beginning was easy once you looked for it, and starting there was best.

"Okay," he agreed after a moment, and I was glad that my advice worked. Maybe being an unofficial big brother wasn't so hard. I mean, if Dean could manage…. "My… first mom was a human, possessed by a demon. I only met her once. She wanted to kill me when I was born, but instead she gave me up for adoption."

"That was kinda screwed up," I told him, nudging his shoulder. "No matter what you can do, it's not… worth killing an innocent kid over."

"Yeah," he agreed, "except it is. I'm supposed to help the devil end the world. It's my purpose. Which leads to my adoptive parents, who were nice if a bit smothering. They led me to believe all sorts of things were dangerous: pop rocks in Coke and those little hand buzzers. Which led Sam and Dean on a case to find out why people were hospitalized and _dying _from completely harmless objects."

"Dude… people died from joke toys and myths?"

Jesse looked sad again and I felt bad. Big brother duty failed. Okay, maybe Dean _was _better at this… "It was because of my powers. I believed it, so around me it was true. I was changing reality, and I was only a little kid. So your brothers found me, Cas figured out what I was and tried to kill me, my demon parent tried to kill them, I exorcised it, and then I ran off. Dean and Sam must have been kinda pissed… they wanted to keep an eye on me, but I felt like a lab rat." He shrugged. "I wandered a bit, almost got caught by demons and angels a few hundred times, and I gained control of my powers. Then I got lonely and sick of it and went back in time to before I was even born, established people in a very small little town in South Dakota, and turned myself into a three year old with no memory of my past life, memories of a fake life with that new family, my parents and Jen, and with surpressed powers destined not to come back until I remembered- if I ever remembered. I didn't really want to." He sighed. "I liked being just Jesse. I liked being normal and not hunted and not… I don't know, someone with the potential to end humanity?"

"The world is an effed up place," I agreed.

"That's why I made Cas promise not to tell when he recognized me. He did, probably more out of fear and curiosity than anything. He was human at the time, after all, and drunk a lot. After a while he knew that I didn't mean any harm and then he really did try to keep him promise. I shouldn't really blame him; he only admitted to know once Chuck, Sam, and Dean had figured it out."

"Did… did Crowley know? How did he not notice?"

Jesse shrugged. "He's powerful, but I'm way more powerful than him. He probably sensed something off, but my powers were suppressed. Once I remembered and they were back there was only a few seconds before I concealed them from everything and everyone around. Cas wouldn't have been able to tell, even as an angel, but he'd known me before."

"So, you're like crazy ass powerful?" I clarified. "Like, snap this whole state is dust powerful?"

"More like the whole continent, without the time it would take to snap. And that's just what I've tested." He grinned. "Scared?"

I shrugged. "Not… really. Not as scared as I should be. Guess I'm too trusting." I glanced over at the Cas doll that I could barely see now. "You gonna turn him back?"

Jesse sulked for a moment before nodding. "Guess I better. Think he'll be mad?"

"Only one way to find out," I evaded, because yeah, my bets were that Cas was pissed.

A moment later he was sitting there, and yeah, Cas was pissed. "I did not deserve-"

"Yeah, yeah," Jesse broke in, standing up. "If I say I'm sorry, are we good?"

Cas glared stonily at him and didn't respond, looking almost adorably like a sulking child. If Jesse and I hadn't spent the past three hours out here sulking, I might have almost suspected it. I pegged it as annoyance instead so that Cas' little angel pride could remain intact.

"Or, ya know, not," Jesse added with a grin. "It's not like I have to even pretend to be intimidated now." He cackled a true teenage evil laugh and headed off.

"You shouldn't have broken you promise…" I taunted Castiel and he turned on me.

"Do not make me smite you."

I shrugged. "Eh, God and the anti-Christ love me. I think I'm pretty safe." I got up and offered Castiel a hand that he grudgingly took, though I figured he took it more out of goodwill than because he needed help getting to his feet. "You should get back to Dean. Bet he's worried sick and already planning a way to try to kill Jesse to get you back."

Cas frowned. "Sam will stop him… correct?"

I laughed. "You might wanna go, just in case." Cas disappeared and I walked back to the house in silent. One angsty teen dealt appeased, one crazy new integral player introduced to the battle of the Apocalypse, and me feeling strangely good about how small my problems really were at the moment. Yeah, it was a nice night.

* * *

_AN: Sorry, I was out of town and not allowed on the internet. XP I actually had this mentally written the second I finished reading Laura's last chapter and crawled into bed. I am so glad to be back. Unbeta'd again, sorry! No clue where Laura is... Hope you liked the way I salvaged _my _Jesse's existence there; if anything is confusing or clashing please, please review to tell me so that I can fix it! =) And just review? Reviews are love. _


	37. Chapter 37

**Chuck**

Things around the house were incredibly peaceful for the weeks following mine and Adam's return home. Even the army of hunters seemed to be plagued by the cordial mood, acting more like white picket fence neighbors than weapons of mass destruction. After a while, I think people actually forgot that we were in the bull's eye of the apocalypse. And for the first time, I was able to be in a good mood outside the bedroom.

Adam had been reading the journal we found in the woods, insisting on doing the translations himself because he felt a special connection with Luke's guardian. During that whole time, I was working with the angel, demon, and anti-Christ to figure out what it was in the woods that had tried to kill Adam and succeeded with me. So far, we had jack squat. And with unlimited omniscient intelligence, that worried us. But we kept our fears separate from everybody else in the house as to not ruin the happiness.

On a perfectly lazy afternoon that was so cliché it belonged in a movie, Adam and I were in the living room reading together. It was a good thing I could control my own body temperature because it was a warm day without being snuggled up to my boyfriend.

"Huh, this is interesting…" Adam said to himself, underlining a passage with a pencil.

"Hmm?" I was too busy concentrating on how his chest vibrated against my head when he spoke.

"Right here is says that the warriors of the light will be given a sampling of the paradise that awaits in order to give them hope," he said, pointing towards the words on the page he was reading from. But by the way he was frowning I saw that something concerned him, so I made an honest attempt pay attention to the book rather than his body.

"What's so bad about that?" I asked.

"Well…it says that the paradise will attract the darkness and when the sample time is over, there will be a day of numbness and that will be when the darkness attacks." He lowered the book and looked down at me. "You don't suppose that mean's us, do you?"

At that moment, the grandfather clock began to ring to signal noon time and the whole house vibrated like a game controller.

"Maybe we should…go tell Bobby," I said slowly, looking around.

I took Adam's hand and closed my eyes to teleport, but when I opened them, we were still snuggled on the couch.

"You okay?" Adam asked worriedly.

"What exactly did the book mean by day of numbness?" I asked, quickly sitting up.

"CHUCK!" Jesse shouted, running into the room. "I was just practicing turning Cas into different kinds of birds and now I can't turn him back!"

"I don't think that's going to be our only problem," I muttered, stumbling off of Adam. He and Jesse followed as I made my way to the front door.

"Chucky…" I stopped as we were about to pass the kitchen and looked in on Becky who was staring out the window fearfully with a hand over her round belly.

"Becks, what's wrong?" Adam asked, placing an unsteady hand on my shoulder.

"Baby's kicking…not in a good way," she whispered. Then she pointed out the kitchen window. "Is that why?"

Jesse pulled the front door opened and stepped outside. Once we saw what was going on, Adam and I followed, staring like zombies.

The sunny afternoon had quickly gone overcast, throwing a gloomy look on the camp all around the house. As though coming to the call of food, thousands of Croats had gathered just beyond the fence surrounding the area. They were screaming loud enough to be heard from the house and trampling over each other in an attempt to climb over the fence. All of the hunters were running towards their cabins, probably to gather weapons.

"How are we supposed to defeat them without our powers?" Jesse asked frantically, turning towards me.

"This is what the army is for," I said, trying to reassure myself. "Adam, mind rounding up the Winchester clan? We need all our best hunters out there? And if Mary won't take offense, put her on Becky duty. We can't lose her kid, not now."

"Sure, but you get to the panic room," he ordered, placing a hand on my face so that I had to look at him. "You don't have combat training and we're all dead without you."

I nodded and leaned in to give him a quick kiss. He barely smiled, though the fear was plain on his face. Not of dying, which was extremely likely outside the house, but for me. Then he went into hunter mode and ran towards the stairs.

I looked back towards the gates as more and more Croats found their way over like ants overcoming an obstacle and all I could do was hope that they didn't have demons among them.

* * *

_AN: Lovely cliffie, right? Especially because I am so not sure when I can update- my profile explains all that. I will do my best, and writing is coping for me, so I probably will update soon. =) Reviews are love, and I need a bit of smilies right now! _


	38. Chapter 38

**Adam **

After leaving Chuck I ran for the stairs frantically. My mind had gone into hunter mode which was convenient, but it made panicking difficult. I couldn't really tell yet if that was a good or a bad thing. I tried to think of what I should yell as I reached the second floor. For some reason my mind went back to all those police shows on tv and all of those stupid, pointless drills we'd gone through in school for scenarios that would never happen. "Code red!" I yelled, wondering if we actually had a code red that I had never been taught. I wouldn't have put it past them, or even been surprised, really. "Croats are attacking! Everyone up!"

Mary was the first to dash out of her room and skid to a stop in front of me. "What's-?" she started, but I pushed her not so gently towards the stairs.

"No time, go!"

She nodded and was off like a bullet, out of sight in less than three seconds. "John, get your ass out of bed!" I bellowed at the door. He stumbled out and tried to ask, but I only pointed at the stairs. "Croats- go!"

He seemed to wake up a bit, his own hunter mode that I'd inherited switching on. He raced for the stairs as well, calling after Mary. I felt a rush of relief for her knowing that he'd keep her safe. I hadn't quite made amends with John enough to be genuinely terrified for him, but there was a dull, nagging worry in the back of my mind. I was learning to like him enough to hope that he survived so that I could learn to love him later. Maybe. Someday. Not that now was the time to think of these things.

Sam and Dean were, as always, together, and they came next. They just nodded as they passed. Bobby was last but right on their tails; he didn't even pause in his stride.

Satisfied, I headed out after them, grabbing a gun and clips from the stockpile Mary had made on the kitchen table- why was the kitchen _always _home base?- and running out. I shot one Croat down near the door, glancing around to see hunters stumbling out of their cabins armed and ready for one hell of a fight.

Then I was smashed into a wall and looked on in abject terror as a demon approached. "Oh, come _on!" _I yelled. "When will you demon bitches _learn _not to mess with us_?" _

This one wasn't as stupid as the last. It didn't talk, but it did aim at knife at my throat. The last thing I saw was it arcing downwards, the silver metal glinting against the light and blinding me before…

* * *

_AN: I'd apologize for the shortness, but I'm honestly just impressed I even wrote this much. Um, daddy's in the ICU right now, and life is crazy, so I'm not likely to update (or update well), but I can honestly say a major "thank you" to Padawan-BubbyKenobi for reviewing the last three chapters, 'cause you're the one that's really kept me going and trying to this up. =) Love you. Anyways, so sorry if I'm blunt (and mean) I just kinda get that way... I lack a filter. Just wanted to explain a bit in case you're all looking at a non update going, "wtf?" and so on... Reviews are love, and I could use some! _


	39. Chapter 39

**Chuck**

I met Becky and Mary downstairs in the panic room where Crowley had also chosen to hide since he was pretty useless without his demon powers. A few moments later, Jesse and Jo followed suit.

"Chuck, why are they attacking now?" Mary demanded after locking the heavy iron door. She turned on me, somehow knowing that I would have all the answers. "And why didn't you know? Shouldn't you have been able to sense it or something?"

"No, not today," I muttered, nervously pacing throughout the small space. "Everything's perfectly damn natural today."

"Would you calm down?" Jesse said irritably. "You're making Jo antsy and you know how bad that can get."

"Mom, I'm fine!" Jo snapped, batting Jesse away.

"Something's wrong…" I whispered, looking wistfully up at the revolving fan on the ceiling.

"No duh, we're under attack," Becky said, rolling her eyes.

"I need to find Adam," I said before running towards the door. Before anybody had a chance to stop me, I had opened the door and run out. I guessed someone might try to follow, so I just kept running until I was upstairs.

The house had that dead silence again, completely unnatural since I knew what was going on beyond the door which I had just pulled open. But those thoughts became complete nothingness next to what met me on the doorstep. I was just in time to watch Meg plunge the knife into Adam's stomach. As though adapting to his hunter mode, I instantly leaped at the demon and tackled her to the ground. But of course she was stronger than me and managed to pin me down.

"Just kill me now!" I screamed at her. "Please…if you've killed him, you might as well take me now."

"Relax, baby," she chuckled in that sick cooing voice of hers. "Your boy toy's gonna be just fine…if he gets help now. But I'm guessing you people have been relying on magic to do your healing for you and don't have any proper medical supplies. We do. So I'll make you a deal."

"What, my soul for a few stitches?" I said, laughing maniacally. "Just kill me now."

"Do you see any crossroads, moron?" she scoffed. "Deal's this: we stitch your boy up nice and proper at our headquarters in exchange for you coming without a fuss. Sound good or what?"

I glared up at her soulless eyes and that Cheshire grin fully prepared to say no. Then I turned my head and looked at Adam who was cringing in on himself, his lips stained red and his eyes trapped within mine.

"Babe, you up for another adventure?" I asked, taking his hand.

"Are you asking me to dance?" he asked drunkenly, slurring his words and smiling sleepily.

"Alright," I said, turning back to Meg. "We'll go quiet."

Meg smiled even more widely and stood up, dragging me to my feet. A large black van was speeding through the chaos, not stopping no matter how many people it ran over, and stopped at the base of the porch. I hated it with everything in my gut, but I allowed Meg to carry Adam into the back of the van since I would probably drop him with my klutziness. I quickly climbed in after while she rounded to the driver's seat. Before the back doors of the van were slammed shut, Becky was thrown in.

"Becks, what are you doing here?" I demanded in a harsh whisper while the van was started and began moving.

"I ran after you, der," she said, sticking a tongue out at me. "You're little orgy baby decided to start kicking, though, so I was a little behind. Chuck, what's going on here?"

"No idea," I said vaguely, noticing how the van was packed with medical supplies. I reached all over, grabbing what I would need.

Thankfully, Becky knew when I wanted her to not talk and Meg was too busy navigating the cabins to speak. So I was able to work in almost total peace.

I figured it would hurt Adam slightly less to pretend that ht knife was just a tooth and rip it out quickly…with my eyes closed. By the way he screeched louder than a banshee, I figured I was wrong. Then I quickly unbuttoned his shirt so that his whole chest was exposed and I was able to block the blood flow with a bunch of towels. I took a few deep breaths, praying that I wouldn't throw up when I removed the towels. Then I splashed him with hydrogen peroxide which made him scream even louder than before, but I knew it was the only way to clean the wound without burning it. My hands were nowhere near steady enough for stitches, so I had to settle for taping a buttload of gauze onto the wound and keep pressure on it with my hands.

"Now," I said, cradling Adam in my arms. "Meg, you mind telling me where you're taking me?"

"Well, it's not like you can tell anyone our uber secret plan," she shrugged. "We're going to rip your soul out of that body and harness your godliness to be worked to our kinky and wicked ways."

"In case you haven't noticed, I'm not exactly feeling the heavenly spirit," I growled at her.

"The switched may be off for now, but at midnight, it's all gonna come snapping back like a rubber band and that's when we'll kill you and trap your soul."

"Lovely," I said numbly. "That's just…awesome."

"Then what the hell am I here for?" Becky demanded, frowning up at the demon.

"Your kiddy poo would make an interesting recruit is all," Meg said simply. "Now will you two shut up? I've never had to drive before and I don't need you dying ahead of time."

I looked over and Becky who shrugged easily. Adam whimpered slightly and I looked down at him, afraid that I might have hurt him. My mind was totally blown. I was in the back of a van with a demon, pregnant girl, and possibly dying boyfriend, covered in his blood, destined to be killed for my powers, and no humanly possible way of escape. I did all I could do and prayed to Bob for a miracle.


	40. Chapter 40

**Adam**

I woke up feeling too hot, a bit delusional, and with pain in my stomach. "One hell of a flu," I muttered, opening my eyes. Thankfully there weren't any lights on in the room. Someone was sitting next to me, but it was too dark for me to make out who it was yet.

The bitter laugh gave it away. Poor Becks, she'd been getting so angry and lashing out more lately. It just wasn't her. I was actually starting to miss the crazy fangirl within her, who would have thought? "Oh, you only _wish." _I could now see her, and see that she was rolling her eyes. "Just be glad the demons didn't kill you."

I pushed myself into sitting up, and then promptly leaned to the opposite side of the cot, away from her, and puked. There wasn't much in my stomach, so when that was done I was left dry heaving, and that was fucking painful and so _not_ fun. "Aw, hell," I said, but it came out like a sad whimper. I felt so useless and pitiful, and that alone hurt. Now if I could only figure out why my stomach felt like it was on fire.

I looked down to find myself shirtless. My skin looked a bit too pale, even in the dark, but there wasn't much I could do about that. There were dark stitches across my stomach- a really long and, I guessed, _deep _gash marring the pale skin. "What happened to me?" I asked, horrified, scrambling to remember. I couldn't. "And why can't I remember?" Panic set in, my heart now racing quickly.

"Relax, Winchester," Becky told me. "You need to rest if you don't want that fever to get worse. It's a side effect from the pain meds the demons provided. You can't remember, idiot. The Croats attacked us on a numb day when none of the powers were working. The demons came and Meg hurt you so that Chucky would willingly follow and die so that they could harness his powers for their own good."

My brain took that all in and hunter mode set in. For once in my life, I was thanking John Winchester for his blood in my veins; I needed my hunter side right now. "Important details only. When, why?"

Becky rolled her eyes but obeyed. "You would have died. We don't have the best medical care and you were loopy anyways. Something would have finished you off. She offered your health as a reward for Chucky's compliance. They took me, too, for this demon baby. Why did I ever listen to you people?"

"When will they kill him?" I demanded.

"Midnight-ish," she responded. "I'd say it's around that time now, though. Sorry, Adam, but your lover boy is as good as dead."

"No!" I shot up off the bed, stumbling, but numb to the pain. Adrenaline and pain medication probably didn't mix well, but they sure as hell made me _feel _better, and right now that was all I needed. I raced out the door of whatever little shed this was.

"Adam!" Becky called after me. "Idiot! You'll get yourself killed!"

_So? _I thought, but I didn't waste the breath. If Chuck was going to die, then I was going to die with him because nothing on this miserable planet, not even my family, was worth letting him leave me behind. I'd be with him, one way or another.

I raced through the camp, ignoring how my haste pulled at the stitches holding my insides… well, inside. Belly wounds were unpredictable, but I appeared to be in fairly good condition, so I figured I could get a bit more banged up before I would have to seriously worry. The moon was out and full, lighting my way. That was a blessing for me; demons could see just fine in the dark, but hunter mode or no I couldn't, and I needed this light. The demon's camp appeared to be empty, so as I watched out for anyone to jump out of the shadows I studied their setup. It was pretty similar to our hunters' retreat back home. Lots of cabins, though more spread out and fewer than our amazing safe zone. There were also sports cars _all over _the place; damn bitches had style, at least, and I couldn't help but be just the tiniest bit jealous. I could have to steal one to get back. Then I'd have my own car and not have to steal Dean's.

There was smoke in the sky and I decided to follow that- fire was generally _not _good, especially in a demon camp. Demons didn't get cold.

I hid behind the last cabin of the row nearest the fire and peeked around its corner, my left hand holding onto my stomach and stitches. I could see a ritual setup that I didn't have time to think about, because Chuck was at the center of the demons and he looked pretty nervous.

I could hear a pretty girl demon, Meg I assumed, talking to him. He went from nervous to scared shitless, pale and protesting and backing away a bit. A demon caught him from behind, and I could hear a bone break from his harsh grip on Chuck's arms. That was the last straw for me and I was quietly slipping out from behind the building. Unarmed, into the enemy, but I needed to hear what Meg was telling him.

"Aw, is the little Prophet godling afraid?" she cooed in a sickeningly sweet voice. "But I haven't even told you the most fun part! Once we kill you," I guessed that _that _was the frightening conversation I had luckily missed, word pictures of his likely gruesome death, "I'm gonna harness that innocent little soul of yours, rip it to shreds, and scatter it across the known universes. No one, God or not, will ever be able to reassemble them completely. I am, quite literally, ripping you to shreds." She looked up at the sky. "Oh, looks like it's about time to start…" Her voice had taken on a singsong quality, mocking and scary like a freaking Barbie doll come to life. I shuddered and ran away, back to the cabins, to look for _anything _that could kill him.

I ran into Becky as I raced around the corner, though, and she caught me before I could stumble to the ground. "Adam! Are you insane?"

"Um…" I considered that. "Quite possibly. Why did you come after me?"

She rolled her eyes. "To give you _this,_ duh." She held out something completely priceless: the demon killing knife.

I took it and kissed her cheek. "You're an angel!" I told her quickly, spinning around to run back. Now I had a chance to save him.

"I wish!" she whispered after me. Then, so quietly that I wasn't sure if she even meant for me to hear it. "Be careful. You may not be Sam, but you're a Winchester. We need you."

I glanced back, but she was already walking away.

* * *

_AN: Sorry for the wait- days started blurring and I just got exhausted. It's a bit short, sorry, but I tried! =P I thought Chapter 40 should be special. Hope it was actually worth the wait, reviews are love! _


	41. Chapter 41

**Chuck**

Honestly, how could one person be so incredibly stupid? And so terribly often…I mean, _come on_, of course the demons were lying! But it still came like a kick to the gut when it was almost time for the big ritual and Meg got so sure of herself that she "accidentally" let slip that she was going to finish Adam off using my own powers. Then she decided to just screw it all and tell me that she was planning to blow up all of Camp Chitaqua. I really should have seen it coming…but Adam was dying and I was desperate for help. Not that it did any good.

"Has anyone told you that you wear frantic and guilty really well?" Meg asked, pacing the length of the room set up for the ritual. Her face was a clear mask of ease, but I saw that she was becoming impatient.

"Anyone told you to go fuck off?" I muttered bitterly. But Meg just laughed and paced a little more slowly.

"Give it up sugar cakes," she said in that sickly sweet voice. "The bad guys won. All's right in the world. In just a minute or two, you'll be dead beyond existence so you won't be able to suffer anymore with that _stupid_ look on your face and where the HELL IS GARY?"

I shrank back slightly from her sudden outburst, but it seemed to get her what she wanted because the only door to the room opened and a scared looking man walked in, escorting Becky who seemed to be the source of his fear.

"There's something wrong with your man here," Becky told Meg curtly. "He's an idiot."

"Well, he's yours, then," Meg said passively. "Train him well. Don't care about feeding him, but he must have his walkies. Now go join your little prophet cowering on the floor over there."

Becky turned to face the scared demon who was following her like a frightened puppy and glared down at him.

"Now Gary, I don't give a crap whether or not you know what a saltine cracker is," she said in a voice that scared even me, "but you are going to get me as many as you can carry and you're not coming back without them, understand?"

Gary nodded and quickly skidded out of the room. Becky sighed irritably and came to sit by me in the center of an intricate circle made of symbols that had been painted on the ground. When she knocked over one of the candles, I was able to see just how much it frustrated Meg to have to relight it the human way.

"You're boyfriend's a freakin' psycho when it comes to you," Becky scoffed, low enough that the demons couldn't hear.

"Why? You've seen him?" I asked eagerly. It had been hours since they ripped Adam out of my arms.

"He just woke up a few minutes ago," she said, looking around the windows as though she was expecting to see something. "Came running over here like a madman…last I saw of him he was getting ready to rescue you with that pig sticker that Dean used to carry around all the time."

"Wait—" I said. I looked around at the seven demons, barely crowded in the medium space, eagerly waiting for the time of the ritual. They all looked just as intimidating as Meg when she wasn't fooling around. "Are you telling me…Adam is just planning to walk through that one little door, somehow kill all these demons, rescue the two of us, and not be killed on sight?"

"Hell no!" Becky said, rolling her eyes. "Please, give the boy _some_ credit. He's got to be smart enough to think up some kind of intricate plan to get us out of here. Maybe…lure a few of them away and kill them separately, maybe find an arsenal and use a gun or two, or he could set the place on fire and come get us when the demons leave us here to die."

"Will you two stop that babbling?" Meg hissed, an odd grin on her face that I didn't like one little bit. Somewhere outside the cabin, a grandfather clock began to toll midnight, probably magnified by "It's time!"

Two of the demons grabbed me by the arms and pinned me to the center of the ritual circle while Becky was dragged to her feet and made to stand a few feet away. I stopped trying to struggle against the demons' impenetrable strength and just looked up. Where the ceiling was, a giant, circular window had been cut out and I had a perfect view of the full moon, shining down on me as though it had a secret it so desperately wanted to tell me. I couldn't do anything more than ignore Meg and the others as they chanted in Latin by listening to the clock in the distance, as though each ring was counting down to my death.

The world was vibrating again like that damn video game controller, setting off that feeling of total numbness and in a moment, I knew that it would be all over. I couldn't help myself. I turned my head to the side and time slowed down just as the cabin door burst open. In that split fraction of a second, while the door was still on its way to bang against the wall, a moment too short to even blink, Adam's wide eyes found mine. In that moment, I saw his soul as though it was the plainest thing in the world. At first I thought it was just a mirror, seeing so much of myself, but then I saw that everybody was there. Kate Milligan, all four Winchesters, Cas, Crowley…so many people I didn't have time to count because the split second was over and his eyes flicked up to glare at Meg who was too engrossed in her chanting to even notice.

The six demons who had stopped chanting stepped towards Adam, smiling as though they had been itching for a fight. Adam returned the smile with ease and reached out to touch the nearest one who fell to the ground, shuddering and convulsing. I saw then the demon killing knife which had just stabbed the demon in the throat.

The second nearest demon had been guarding the door leapt at Adam who merely spun and dropped to the ground all at once. In one swift motion, he brought up the knife and sliced through the demon's belly while he was still flying through the air. He cut through each of the demons, one by one, so fast I could barely keep up with his movements. All the while I wanted desperately to get up and help him, but something kept me pinned to the ground. I suspected that it had something to do with my Grace returning to me.

Just as Adam finished off the last demon, the whole cabin was lit up with the most pure light I had ever seen. It floated all around me, knocking out my senses, but it oddly seemed confused. It was trying to find a way to worm into my body where it belonged, but something kept us apart. I heard a loud screech of horror, then everything was set right. The Grace was zapped into my body, taking all the light from the room so that I was left blinded. A pair of gentle hands lifted my face and helped me sit up.

"Adam…what happened?" I asked, rubbing my eyes.

"I distracted Meg from her chanting," he said, grinning so broadly in the moonlight that I was able to see him. "Right after that she just disappeared, like the way Crowley does all the time and—"

He was sudden dragged away by an unseen for and pinned up against the farthest wall. Meg had reappeared and was walking towards me, angrier than I had seen in all my visions including her.

"Damn straight, baby cheeks," she ground out. Before I could stop her, one of her hands had grasped my chin and twisted so fast that my neck snapped nearly all the way around before my skin whipped my head forward. But I didn't die like snapping a neck that way would. There was a slight pop, and I was healed. Meg was left staring at me, horrified.

"Sister, darling," Crowley said, suddenly appearing in the room. He took a few steps towards her, ginning viciously. "I think it's about time we had an intervention."

"Why?" Castiel asked, appearing with the four Winchesters in tow. "Interventions are signs that others care for a person. Why on God's green Earth would we care for _her_?"

"I was being ironic, moron," Crowley muttered, rolling his eyes. Jesse suddenly appeared, looking around curiously. "You ruined the joke now…so it's just kinda pointless."

"What did I do?" Jesse demanded defensively.

"Nothing, sweetie, the demon's just being an ass," Mary said sweetly as she went over to stand near Becky.

Adam came to my side, taking my hand. He completely the circle that surrounded Meg who was frantically looking for an escape. Even teleporting wouldn't help her because I could feel her attempts and thwarted each one like swatting away flies. Adam smiled as he raised the blood stained knife above the scared little demon that had fallen to her knees, whimpering. But as he was about to strike, I stopped him. While he watched me with confusion, I eased the knife out of his hand.

"I'm sorry, I know we all have our own little vendettas against her," I said so everyone could hear. "But this one's for Sam."

I tossed the knife across the circle where Sam easily caught it. I saw the shadows dancing across his face as he remembered everything he had been through because of Meg and her father, Azazel. He broke the circle and walked into the direct moonlight so that he and Meg were the only ones in the light. Everybody around the circle bowed their heads respectively, but I saw with perfect clarity through my omniscientness.

Sammy reached down to gently grasp Meg's chin and she willingly followed his movements until she was standing, though he still towered above her, that sasquatch.

"Your dad fed me my first drops of demon blood," he ground out, his voice thick with emotion that his cold expression refused to betray. "He and your family have been stalking me all my life, setting up my life for me and then you…You made me trust you, almost fall for you…twice. Then you hurt my father and my brother, almost beyond repair. You wormed your way inside my body and wore me around for a whole week like I was nothing more than a meatsuit, killing innocent people. You made it your goal to destroy me, Meg. I'm just returning the favor."

He leaned down and forcibly pressed his lips against the demon's. At the same time, he plunged the knife into her chest. I saw the demon die with the golden sparks beneath the skin, and the girl she had been riding died with her as she was supposed to long ago.

"We're still surrounded by quite a few demons who reside here," Crowley said, finally breaking the cold silence.

"Guess we'd better get started, then," Dean said with an excited grin, pulling his sawed-off from behind him.

Everyone began spilling out of the cabin, running off into the night. Becky who was overly excited to fight some demons, was sent home by Castiel's touch. I was about to follow suit as one of the last ones remaining, but Adam pulled me back into his arms. Before I realized it, he was kissing me, communicating all his desire and love in one touch. He pulled away, smiling to me his relief.

"Missed you," he whispered against my skin. I moved my hands down to the stitches on his chest until he winced. "Still hurts."

I leaned down and pressed my lips to the angry red gash that cut across his perfect chest, feeling him heal beneath my touch…and then some. Adam let his head fall back as I continued working my magic through his body, healing any slight possibility of a wound. I smiled to myself when he groaned lightly and backed away from me.

"Um…demons," he said, closing his eyes in order to regain his train of thought. "Gotta go fight. Rain check?"

"As soon as this is over and we go home," I said, grasping his hand, "you've got no more than forty seconds to say your piece to whomever tries to get your attention. Then you get your ass upstairs and naked or I will have to punish you, understand?"

"Oh, God…" he groaned, looking out the open door where the demons were going to die. "Please let this go quickly…"

* * *

_AN: Is she not simply amazing? Don't worry, I will have a lot of fun with the next chapter. =) Reviews are love!_


	42. Chapter 42

**Adam**

Loathe as I was to leave Chuck, I was a Winchester- sort of- and Winchesters never backed down a fight. Of course, we generally never had the option of escape anyways, but that was beside the point. The fight outside was already well underway and I zipped around like a demented humming bird, trying to find a place to jump in.

It had started to pour rain, probably a side effect from Meg's failed spell, and I had to squint to make out where people were. I stumbled across Sam and Dean first. My brothers fought back to back, knowing each other's moves without looking and moving around each other with an ease that could only come from years of experience. I ignored the slight pang of jealousy that I'd missed all of those years. Though they were surrounded they fought well- especially together- and I figured they'd make it out with only minor injuries. I ran right by them.

A short ways away I found John and Mary fighting much the same way; they may not have had the years of practice to perfect their joint technique, but they knew each other quite well and that went a long way to making up for it. They, however, bickered constantly over inconsequential things as they fought; it was as if unfocused on the fighting their instincts helped them be more aware and attack better. Strange, but if it worked, who was I to criticize it?

I passed them up as well, confident in their safety. I saw Cas pinned to a building. There were about seven demons on him, not too bad for an angel, but his zappy thing refused to work on the last three of them. Though four spent bodies had collapsed at his feet I worried as he attempted to block all three and once and gutted two before they could slip through his guard. The third managed to re-rip a hole through my stomach- and damn, Chuck had just fixed that- as it dodged under my swipe of the knife, but Cas pinned it to the wall and I took great joy in slicing its own guts out.

Wow, I was getting pretty twisted.

Cas gave me a thankful smile and touched my abdomen just over the cut, healing me instantly. "Thanks, Cas," I told him, and once he'd nodded acknowledgement I was racing off to find Bobby and Jesse, preferably the two fighting together.

I- or rather they- were in luck as the two were mowing their way through the largest group of demons I'd run across yet. Fifteen demons surrounded them. Jesse didn't seem to know how to fight- antichrist powers or normal hunter training?- so I cut my way into the fray and reached his side relatively unharmed with a few demons down. "Use your powers," I insisted without prelude. "We're crazy outnumbered, Jesse." He nodded, trusting my judgment, and closed his fist. The five or six demons nearest him fell to their knees, choking on the black smoke. It sizzled as it left their mouths, disintegrating harshly. Jesse smiled a scarily feral smile at the other half of the bunch as Bobby and I killed the bitches off with the colt and knife. Soon we were surrounded by dead bodies. They may have once been people, but hell; at least they could rest now. I didn't imagine that having a demon riding around in your skin was particularly _easy. _

After that everything was just a confusing mess of regrouping, and of Cas and Chuck and Jesse getting us all home. Crowley turned up with lots of new "useful" information, but I didn't really care. Chuck and Jesse had already taken off from the strategy meeting in the kitchen and Becky was nowhere in sight. I started edging my way out of the room, but I was only halfway up the stairs when I heard Mary calling after me. "Adam?"

"Yeah Mom- Mary?" I said, wincing. I had to learn to pick one or the other and just be _okay _with it. I shifted, feeling antsy. I wanted to get back to Chuck and just learn to forget this mess for a while. Paradise sure had a lot of strings attached…

She smiled in a very motherly way, eyes twinkling. "Are you alright?"

"Of course," I said, smiling. "Just, you know, really tired."

"You sure you don't want to rejoin the meeting?" she suggested sweetly, but with that steely tone that said you'd better reconsider and decide to follow her.

But I didn't want to. Because my boyfriend was upstairs and I only wanted _him. _"Yeah. So, um, night Mary- Mom." Again with the non-decisions….

She nodded, a little put out, and headed back to the kitchen with her arms crossed in front of her, matching the pout on her face. I rolled my eyes.

But then I was headed up the stairs and to our room, nothing on my mind but my perfect boyfriend and the rest of the night- morning?- ahead of us.

* * *

_AN: Sorry! I hit a total writer's block, my muse for this story just died. Strangely, the fact that I could not seem write well encouraged me to finally update all of my not as good stories, so... =) Adam and Chuck just deserved so much more than a mediocre effort, as did you, fair readers! Okay, I must give mega trillions of thanks to my reviewer **Padawan-BubbyKenobi **because she is the only one reviewing. Love you! And, you know, I would love the rest of you all so much more if you'd review too. Reviews are love! And they make me want to update. One buddy can only do so much for me, amazing as she might be. =)If I get even _two _reviews I promise that it won't take four days next time! _


	43. Chapter 43

**Chuck**

It was well past midnight by the time we returned to the house, welcomed by all the people who thought we'd died. I managed to escape to the bedroom, but Adam was stuck downstairs. I looked over at the clock on the nightstand…counting. Thirty seconds later, the door knob turned. As soon as Adam was in the room, I had him pinned to the wall before the door finished slamming shut.

"You're late," I scolded, glaring up into his sparkling eyes.

"You gave me forty seconds, right?" he asked, slightly confused.

"Yeah, but you should have guessed that I would be impatient," I whined. "You know how bad it is when time slows down whenever you're not here."

Adam didn't say anything more, just smiled and leaned in to press our lips together. Damn him…he _knew_ I was thinking kinky back in the demon camp! Not that I minded the change, but it scared me to see firsthand how he could instantly change my thought process to slow and romantic. Those fluttering thoughts were erased from my mind when he took a few steps forward, making me stumble back until the bed knocked my feet out from under me and I fell back onto the pillows. Adam grinned down at me and knelt at either side of my body.

"What's wrong?" he asked, tilting his head to the side with curiosity.

"I missed you," I said, reaching up for him. He leaned forward so that my palm connected with his cheek and closed his eyes. I could almost see his happiness radiating through his skin and I guessed it had something to do with that moment when I saw into his soul. Everything about him, inside and out, was just wonderful and I so desperately wanted to show him that.

"I'm right here," he replied, grabbing onto my shirt.

He roughly pulled me up to my knees, smiling as though he had a secret. I was about to ask what was on his mind when he pressed a finger to my lips. Grin widening, he removed his finger and replaced it with his lips, erasing all the thoughts from my mind with that kiss. Before I realized what had happened, he was pulling my shirt off and discarding it on the floor. My hands, having minds of their own, clawed at the well-loved material of Adam's clothes, not satisfied even after they had joined the increasing pile on the floor. When our lips parted so our lungs could fill with air, I noticed that there was still a dark gash on his chest where he had been stabbed. Adam looked down, probably wondering what was distracting me.

"I can fix that," I whispered, reaching out. But he caught my hand and pushed me back onto the bed before I could react.

"No," he growled, covering my body with his own. "I wanna keep it. Just a reminder of how terrible a medic you are without your powers."

I returned his playful smile and submissively forgot the scar, though I still wished that I could just erase the terrible events of the past twelve hours. Adam must have sensed where my train of thought was because he quickly moved to snap it back on track by kissing me again, drawing my tongue to his lips. He strongly ground his hips against mine, causing us both to moan softly into the kiss and cling to each other even tighter. Adam reluctantly tore himself away from me, panting heavily.

"Stay," he ordered sternly with a light twinkle in his eyes.

"Yes, master," I snickered as he sat up.

"Don't tempt me," he said, though a bright blush was rising up his neck and to his cheeks.

I dutifully held still, as impossible as the task was, while Adam undid my jeans and pulled them off along with my boxers in a torturously slow motion. He pulled his own off rather quickly before kneeling on the bed at my feet.

"Do you like strawberries?" he asked, tilting his head again in that confused puppy way that was just too adorable. But that innocence was deceiving since his hands were slowly moving up my thighs.

"Um…w-what?" I stuttered, unable to think with the way his fingers were dancing across my skin.

"Strawberries," he repeated, pausing his movements. "Do you miss them?"

"Love them, but don't miss them," I said impatiently, just wishing he would touch me again. "Why?"

"I've been missing strawberries lately and you just reminded me of them," he shrugged, smiling warmly. "How could you not miss them?"

"Easy," I laughed, sitting up so that I was straddling his lap. "You taste like strawberries. Better than, even. Why would I miss what I have right in front of me?"

Adam grinned widely and wrapped his arms around my body, pressing his lips to the hollow of my throat. My eyes involuntarily fluttered shut as he gently nipped at my skin while still kissing in ways that would surely leave marks in the morning. His arms suddenly released me and I flopped back onto the bed without bouncing back since his strong arms pinned me in place.

"Don't close your eyes," he whispered into my ear in more of a request than an order. "I want to see you…"

He leaned away, always keeping his eyes locked on mine, and placed his hands on my knees, guiding them apart. He reached down and wrapped his fingers around my dick, making it almost impossible to stop my eyes from rolling into the back of my skull. He bit his lip as he continued to gaze down at me and stroked me in the most terrifyingly wonderful way. He looked like a mad scientist, grinning mischievously as he discovered all the different things he could make me do with just his one hand. When he seemed to have had his fill of making me writhe beneath him, he took his hand away and leaned back.

"Tell me, Chuck," he said, almost as though he was daring me. "What do you want?"

"You!" I cried out instantly, not even a moment's consideration to the answer since it was so natural. "Always you…just you."

"Why?" he asked, eyes gleaming as he anxiously awaited my answer.

"How many times do I have to say it?" I whined, narrowing my eyes at him. "I'm in love with you."

"Just once more," he said teasingly, leaning down to press his lips to mine once again.

"Love you," I moaned into his mouth. "Love you so much…need you now."

"Don't close your eyes," he breathed, repeating his earlier command.

I felt him position himself at my entrance and I wanted desperately to close my eyes and enjoy the sensation, but I refused to disobey my Adam. I saw that he wanted the same as he pressed inside me, but he never broke eye contact. Some small part of my mind took note of how my body had adjusted and come to welcome the feel of Adam since our first time in that field in Italy. It was just one of those things that made my heart flutter a little faster.

The moment Adam bottomed out inside me, he quickly leaned back onto me, exhaling as though he had just been punched in the chest. His arms wrapped around my shoulders as though my body was the only thing keeping him grounded to Earth and pressed his lips to mine as he moved inside me. I realized we could do this a thousand times and it would still manage to surprise me that he could spark such strong feelings in my body in places I didn't know could even feel before I'd met him. I was only more sure of those thoughts when he reached down and grasped me again, moving his hand as he did before, dragging the most inappropriate sounds from my throat. I felt his body suddenly shudder and he clung to me with impossible strength as his thrusts faltered. His hand tightened with his movements, throwing me over the edge along with him as he filled me completely.

For a long time, we both held still, just trying to catch our breath. When Adam finally had enough strength to move, he reached over to something next to the bed and pulled up a shirt that had been thrown to the floor. He wiped down my chest first, then his own and I secretly prayed that Mary wouldn't be doing the laundry tomorrow. Afterwards, Adam curled up next to me, his hand clasped in mine.

"Chuck?"

"Hmm?" I answered as my mind tried to drift off into sleep.

"You don't taste like strawberries," he said, fingers of his free hand tangling in my hair. "You're something much sweeter. I love it."

"I love you," I said with a smile, leaning into his touch. I felt his grin against my forehead as I drifted into unconsciousness.

The next morning, I woke up shivering. The bed was oddly cold, but then again, the weather had been so nice recently that it would take time to adjust to the cold from before. I blinked my eyes open and saw Adam, still sleeping, with his head turned towards me so that I could see his peaceful expression. Odd…he was usually awake before me, watching me sleep in a way that was so not creepy.

I moved the arm that was draped over his chest and my peaceful mood suddenly whipped into what I could only describe as hunter mode. I stared down at my palm and Adam's chest, both soaked in cold red blood.

"…Adam?"

* * *

_Wow, what is it with her and killing off my dear Adam? I think, just to spite her, he might _really _die for once... =) Guess you'll just have to wait until next chapter to see, huh? Reviews are love! And suggestions of what to do here are appreciated. ^.^_


	44. Chapter 44

**Adam**

I woke to pain and a very off feeling inside me. I felt sort of light, as if I'd drift away. And, sure enough, I could feel just one slim barrier across my chest holding me down. I wasn't sure if I didn't really _want _to drift away- after all, everything was so warm and calm and the pain was gone now and it would be so easy just to drift….

Whatever held me didn't shift, though, and I couldn't ever force my eyes to open, so for a long time I lay there in peace, almost content.

Suddenly the barrier holding me down- an arm, I realized- shifted and I started to float away. It didn't move enough for me to escape, but I was so close… "Adam?" _Chuck! _Suddenly I was clinging to the only barrier I had left wanting to stay. I couldn't leave him! I could feel both of his hands shift to my shoulders, one hand checked for a pulse on my neck. I knew long before he gave up that he wouldn't find one.

How the hell had I managed to die _this _time? And also, why wouldn't my eyes _open? _I forced my spiritual forms eyes open, looking down at my body. It was gruesomely covered in blood, as was Chuck. He looked scared and sad. I watched sadly as he tried to bring me back, but it didn't work. Not that I didn't try.

I had already drifted a little ways away now, standing across the room as he knelt over my cold body. I watched the light flare up as he tried to resurrect me. I could feel a tugging at me, but it wasn't quite as strong as whatever force opposed it. They were equally matched, moving me nowhere, so I began to propel myself towards the tugging effect of Chuck's magic. The forced balancing it doubled, keeping me still, and I gave in just as he did. Both forces abated and I was left alone… but I was drifting. Out the door, down the hall… I tried to remain still, to get back to myself, but it didn't work.

Outside of the house there was a wind that tugged me faster. I passed by Castiel and his head snapped up to stare at me. _At _me. He _saw _me! "Cas!" I tried to yell, but it was silent. "Help!" Again, nothing. I pointed back to the house and he nodded, disappearing. I could only hope that he'd find a way to save me before it was too late.

My eyes eventually fell closed; the rocking of my drift was like a lullaby and all I wanted was to sleep. I lost track of time after that until I had stopped. I forced my eyes open once more and saw a person standing in front of me. The person was relatively normal, dressed in jeans and a faded black shirt. "Adam Winchester." His words were much more powerful than an ordinary being's, and like an anti-shadow behind him I could see the pure light and sparkling raw preeminence behind him. It was being contained in his human form, but he certainly wasn't human.

"Yes. Uh… who're you?"

He smiled. "I am God, however, you may call me Bob."

My brow furrowed. "Okay, um, Bob. Why am I here? I'm supposed to go to heaven when I die, right? I mean, I'm happy to still be here and all but…" I stopped babbling and tapped my foot nervously.

"You are here because I collect all departed souls here for my new army."

"Like… a new army of angels? Then why haven't you taken Cas? I mean, he was part of the old angels but he's still loyal to you and…" I shut myself up again. I just couldn't seem to stop babbling- something about this person just had me trusting him. I was willing to tell him everything, all of my secrets, and it felt so strange. Must have been a God thing…

"Your angel is happier where he is, and more able to protect. He is still doing my will, and doing so on his own. I am proud of my son."

I nodded. "O-kay… I don't really understand, but if it means we keep Cas, then I guess it's good. But why am _I _here? I don't want to be part of your angel army. I want to go home. I'm already part of an army."

"I had warned that Chuck needed to keep better care of his souls- I must turn you, young Winchester. My apologies."

"_No!" _I shouted, backing away a bit. "I _won't _become an angel. I mean, Cas may be happier that way, but I'd rather skip the stick up my ass part of the entire thing and I just… no!"

"Do you really wish to keep fighting?" Bob asked me. His tone was quiet and scary- not mean, but it was like he could see into my soul and read my mind and _nothing _should be able to _do _that. "Is that your only reason to return?"

"Well… there's my family," I said slowly. "I mean, Bobby's been so good to me, and I just got my brothers back… and then there's John and Mary… I haven't really gotten through everything with John yet…" I trailed off and sighed. "Okay, so there are a lot of reasons. But I really don't want to leave Chuck."

"You love him." It was a statement, not a question, but I nodded anyways. "You will forget," he told me, his expression closed off and measured. I knew he was waiting for my reaction, cataloguing it carefully. "You will not remember your family or your lover… you will be at peace. Not in paradise, or heaven, but you will be content."

"I'll be numb," I protested, crossing my arms. "There's a difference. I don't _want _to forget them. I love them. I mean, yeah, I hate them all sometimes, but I love 'em just the same." I leaned against a nearby wall, realizing that we were in a bar. "Where is this place?"

"A small fortified town near your base. Chuck and Becky know." His eyes twinkled. "How is she? The children?"

I shrugged. "Due soon. That's another thing- they're mine too. I wanna be there for them. I'd be a good dad."

Bob smiled gently. "They have a mother and four other fathers. I assure you, they will be taken care of."

I huffed and shifted nervously. I could still see the power behind his slim figure and I knew that my consent meant little against it. "Will you turn me anyways?"

He seemed to consider it. "No. I gave you all freewill for a reason. You are endlessly fascinating and determined people, my human children… I love you too much to take it away, even now. But that does not mean I will let you go back, either."

I nodded slowly. "So, an impasse?"

"An impasse," he agreed.

After that things fell into a calmer mode. I managed to mostly forget that this was God I was talking to, not just another person. He was comforting to be around; the perfect father. Wouldn't that make John jealous? I laughed internally at the thought. We talked of things- my childhood, my mother, my family now, this war, and times before like the creation of all beings… All topics were fair game, each as interesting as the last. He knew everything about me and confided some secrets in me, such as _why _he had made certain choices.

After what could have been minutes and could have been days a person burst through the doors. My stomach clenched in protective fear as I realized it was Jesse- my unofficial little brother and _the _anti-Christ. How could this go?  
God- Bob- did not look at him unkindly, but a bit sadly, and that enough was reason to keep my fear rising. "Where is he?" Jesse demanded, unable to see me.

"Here!" I tried to yell, but he couldn't see.

"He is safe," Bob told Jesse. "My son, I let you go back once before, but I warned you then not to approach here again. Why have you come?"

Jesse looked scared, but he was also developing some of the Winchester stubbornness because he squared his shoulders as he spoke. "I've come to get Adam, sir." His voice never wavered.

Bob smiled. "You are brave." Jesse nodded once. "I am sorry, young one, but I cannot let you take him. Not without a trade."

"What… what kind of a trade?" Jesse asked, a bit uncertain now.

"You are corrupt," God pointed out. I could see it now, too- Jesse's essence was slightly twisted, blackened.

Jesse frowned, a bit of hurt passing his expression. "Can't do much about that."

"_You _can't," God agreed. "I, however, can. It is a fair trade, Jesse; I need one addition to my army for Adam's death, but his soul can be traded for yours. He will be alive and well; you will be pure."

Jesse hesitated. "I won't remember anything though, right? I won't be me?"

"You will retain your soul," Bob promised gently. "You will be yourself, as you were when you gave yourself a second chance to start over. I can erase the demon's work on you. Is that not what you most want?"

Jesse was shaking, but he looked slightly excited as well. I was screaming now- I couldn't let him do this. Not for me.

But it looked like he kind of wanted to do it for himself as well. "Alright. Can't be too difficult." Jesse shrugged and took the hand God outstretched. His body crumpled to the floor. His soul was gone. Bob turned to me.

"Rest well, Adam. Your family will be happy to see you."

"That was your plan all along, wasn't it?" I demanded, angry. "I was just a pawn!"

He smiled. "You are much more than that, Adam. You will soon know your destiny. But I will admit that I wanted to save Jesse. Do you disagree that he deserved a chance?"

I bit my lip. "He's gone."

God shrugged. "If you see it that way. I like to think of it as rebirth."With that he touched my head and everything went black. The last thing I saw as the bar disappeared was Jesse's slumped form on the floor. We'd never get the same kid back, ever. Could I really accept his choice that easily? But then everything was gone.

* * *

_AN: So, I sort of killed Adam and Jesse... My Jesse, at least, is gone. But he's happy! =) Adam's kinda pissed... he lost his little bro... oh well. =P Reviews are love~! _


	45. Chapter 45

**Chuck**

I looked around the kitchen table at all the tools covered with my blood and tried to think of more ways so kill myself. Nothing had worked so far. I'd slashed my wrists and neck hundreds of times already, stabbed myself until my sweater was unrecognizable, and all other sorts of self mutilation. Bob never told me that suicide just wasn't allowed for God.

"Sucks that we don't have poison or medication," Becky said, staring down at the table. Her face was streaked with tears, whether from crying for Adam or for me, I wasn't sure. But she'd become so depressed that she hadn't raided the refrigerator yet.

"Becks…what am I supposed to do?" I asked, feeling the hopelessness in my stomach. "He can't be alone…wherever he is. I need to be with him!"

"Maybe Jesse's plan will work," she said, attempting a false smile. "Chuck, Adam's going to be alright. We'll get him back in no time and everyone will be fine."

"Speak for yourself," said a voice from the stairway. "That room's gonna smell like death for weeks."

I whirled around, ready to smite or scream at whoever was joking around at a time like this. I stopped short and could only stare when I saw Adam at the bottom of the stairway, smiling tiredly. I teleported over to him, never taking my eyes off his. No spirit guide, ghost, shapeshifter, or anything like that. It was my Adam, alive, breathing, and smiling down at me as though I had been the one who left.

"I was only gone for a few hours," he said, looking down at my bloody clothes. "What did you do?"

I didn't answer him. I couldn't trust my voice since tears were already falling down my face. I just reached out and pulled him close, burying my face in his shoulder. I moved with him as he walked forward, knowing that he had stopped at the kitchen table.

"Don't ask," Becky muttered with an eye roll, though she couldn't hide her brilliant grin at seeing that Adam was back.

"Don't need to," Adam muttered, picking up a bloody razor. "Chuck…maybe we should establish some kind of plan for these things since they happen so friggin' much. Like, wait a week before trying to off yourself, just to be sure?"

"Adam," I said, leaning away from him, "these past few hours were _torture_ for me, just like every time we're apart, but so much worse. Why can't we just make it stop happening? I mean, _seriously_, how many times can we die before paradise?"

"Hey, don' jinx it!" he said quickly, pressing a finger against my lips. I saw the struggle on his face as his mind worked to find ways to get the point across to me. "Look, nobody knows how long we're gonna have to put up with this stuff, or if we're even going to survive just that. But I want _you_ to know this: no matter what happens, we will never stay separated for long, as you've so gruesomely demonstrated here. I follow you, you follow me, that's always been our way. So don't worry about it, alright?"

I nodded, though not entirely reassured, and let Adam wrap his arms around me. "So what do we do now?" I asked.

"Well, figure out just what happened last night," he shrugged.

"Before or after the hot sex?" I asked, feigning curiosity.

"Oh, ewie!" Becky whined, quickly leaving the room.

"Seriously," I said as Adam's laughing quieted, "what did happen? I mean, I didn't even wake up! Did you…before you died?"

"Nope," he sighed, shaking his head. "And that's what creeps me out. Something got past all the barriers outside, got in the house, our room, and killed me. Do you suppose it could have been one of Meg's followers?"

"No, somebody would have noticed," I said, becoming frustrated. "Demons usually bring a lot of commotion with them. Crowley's proved that more than once. You know, we should really look into security cameras…"

"That's it!" Adam shouted, smiling down at me proudly. "Babe, just go back in time and look in on what happened, like with what Azazel did for Sam in that ghost town when he showed him what happened in the nursery!"

I raised an eyebrow at him, checking for any sign of concussion on his head.

"What?" he said defensively at my odd expression. "So I read a few of the books…no biggie. Do you think you could do it?"

"It's worth a try," I shrugged. Then I looked up at him and smiled. "Maybe I could wind the clock back a little further…we could catch the show."

"But then we'll be too distracted," Adam pointed out, a blush rising to his cheeks. "Let's make this a fast trip. We still need to get Jesse back from Bob."

"Alright," I said, rolling my eyes as his blush reddened even further. Holding onto his waist, I closed my eyes and concentrated. We were back in our bedroom, nighttime, only moonlight illuminating the room.

"Chuck!" Adam scolded, punching my shoulder. "Too far!"

I looked over at the bed and instantly choked on my own air, averting my eyes. It was odd to see us from this angle, hearing the moans and whimpers from across the room. I closed my eyes again and wound the clock forward slightly. When I looked up, the us in the bed was fast asleep, tangled in each other the same way I'd woken up this morning. The only other change was the moonlight, so it must have been a few hours later.

"Hey, look," Adam whispered, forgetting that we didn't need to be quiet.

I looked over to where he was pointing and saw the doorknob slowly turning. A moment later, the door creaked open, though the uses in bed didn't move to the sound.

"Can you see who it is?" I asked as a dark figure slowly shuffled into the room, limping as though it was hurt or being pushed.

Adam took my hand and walked forward, leaning down to get a better angle of the person's face.

"Look," Adam said, pointing at the slackened and peaceful expression on the intruder. "Is he…asleep?"

"I think he is," I said, standing up straight. Then the intruder reached out and ran a hand along the sleeping Adam's belly, making him shiver in his sleep.

"Chuck," Adam whispered, pulling me close. "Don't watch."

"But he's not holding a knife or anything," I said, pulling against the strong arm that tightened around my shoulder.

"He doesn't need one," Adam choked, a horrified expression on his face.

I only had time to see the intruder press a finger against Adam's chest with enough strength to break skin before my head was forcefully turned away and buried in Adam's neck. But that didn't help the fact that I could hear the awful squishing and gasping of the body only feet away from us. When it was over, Adam released my head and I instantly looked over at the bed. The intruder was slowly walking away, licking his fingers clean with a sleepy grin on his face. Adam was dead, exactly the way I would find him in the morning. My own fingers dug into Adam's shoulder as the sleeping version of me yawned and snuggled in closer to the corpse.

"Let's get out of here," Adam said, his voice cold. I nodded quickly and closed my eyes, taking us back to Bobby's kitchen.

"What do we do?" I asked, still shaking from what had just happened. "It's not like we can kill him…he didn't know."

"Something was controlling him in his sleep, what can do that?" Adam asked.

"We'll talk to John and see if we can find his journal," I said, glad to be talking rather than hearing the squishing noises in the back of my mind. "He's got hundreds of creatures logged in there, one's bound to be able to control sleep walking."

"How are we supposed to tell him?" Adam asked, looking slightly guilty. "He'll be scared out of his wits, not to mention what Dean will feel when he finds out."

"First things first," I said, trying to organize my thoughts. I took Adam's hand and teleported away, instantly appearing in front of Bob's bar. Jesse was sitting on the door step, shivering and staring off into the distance, but he wasn't the same Jesse who'd run to my rescue this morning after he heard me screaming. He was just a kid again, maybe five or six years old. The same age he was when his powers ascended.

"Hey, kid," Adam said sadly, stepping away from me. Jesse looked up, his eyes wide and shining. In an instant, he was crashing into Adam's waist, arms wrapped all around him except for the tiny hand that was reaching out for mine. Adam and I both sad down on the cold concrete, side by side, while Jesse curled up with us, sobbing into Adam's shoulder and squeezing my hand.

"I misseded you!" Jesse stuttered as his sobs quieted. "Bob took my super powers away…does that mean I can't save people anymore?"

"Sam and Dean don't have super powers and they save people," Adam said, smiling cheerfully. "Relax, you've done enough for now, little hero."

Jesse nodded, sniffing and wiping his tears on his too-large sweater.

"Jesse, maybe you could help us with something," I said quietly. Jesse looked up, smiling a little. "It's about what happened today."

"You died," Jesse said, looking up at Adam. "But I got you back!"

"Yeah, you did," Adam chuckled, wrapping an arm around Jesse's shoulder. "And we found out who did it and that's what we could use your help with."

"Really? Who?" Jesse said eagerly.

Adam looked over at me, his expression slightly strained and I understood. Jesse had made a lot of friends at Bobby's house, and the intruder in our room was one of them. His best friend besides Adam, actually. Neither of us wanted to scare Jesse away from that friendship, but he knew the person's mind…second best, but he wouldn't get pissed at Adam and accuse him of lying like Dean would.

"Jesse, it was Castiel."

* * *

_AN: ~Gasp~ Ewie! An angel drinking my Adam's blood... ick... Isn't Jesse adorable! Aw, he makes me happy. Lolz, you know what else makes me happy? Reviews~! Reviews are love, and they make the brilliant Laura happy too._


	46. Chapter 46

**Adam**

I stalked into the house, smiling angrily as the doors slammed shut with a loud bang behind me. The silence was shattered as curious heads began to appear. "Family meeting!" I shouted as Chuck finally caught up with me. He looked slightly nervous, but my leftover anger buzzed through me like electricity and I felt _powerful. _

And pissed. Things hadn't gone _well _when I'd tried to bring Jesse with us. It seemed that Bob wasn't done with him. According to him, Jesse still had a destiny with a greater purpose and our "rescue" would only get him killed. Jesse, having the mentality of a six year old, had cried and begged me to take him anyways. I loved the kid, more than my own family, _far _more than was healthy, as I had officially done the stupidest thing ever for him. I had picked a fight with God.

Of course, I had my own little God of a boyfriend backing me up, but apparently the older one was still more powerful. Bob had eventually managed to get his hands on me and I'd found myself back in Bobby's front yard before I could even blink. Pissed as hell, adrenaline still coursing from my own stupidity, and with one cut across my forehead that dripped blood in my eyes to prove that I'd been thrown through a wall.

I had to leave Jesse this time, but being back reminded me of why we'd gone to see Jesse in the first place. I wasn't ready to let the matter of my recent death go yet, regardless of the fact that Jesse had only been able to tell us that he was _sure _Cas would never hurt any of us. By hurting us, the angel would risk angering Dean. Cas wouldn't want that, so Jesse was sure that there was something even more powerful at work here.

I dropped down into the first seat I saw at the kitchen table. For once, no one was there, but people soon filed in. My anger sapped away with my adrenaline and it left me feeling sick, possibly a side effect of this much exertion after my recent… _lack _of ability to exert. Watching the family gather, however, was always interesting. You could sense their levels of motivation by their curiosity, which all depended on _who _called the meeting. If Cas called a meeting, everyone trickled in slowly. Whatever he had to say would be important- he was a Warrior of the Lord, after all- but wasn't likely to be _fun. _When Crowley called, people didn't rush, but they didn't mind dropping whatever they were doing to come, either. It must have had something to do with the inherently evil nature of the guy. When Bobby called, people came _slowly, _because it was likely something that had to do with a book they'd already read a thousand times. Dean and Sam _always _went to those, but the rest of the members varied greatly. But when a _Winchester _called, _everyone _came as quickly as possible. Not even a full minute later I was, for the first time, please to weild Winchester status: Crowley, Cas, Dean, Sam, John, Mary, and Bobby were all in the room watching me and Chuck intently.

"So?" Dean finally asked. He looked a bit peeved and I wondered just what, exactly, I'd interrupted… again. Oops.

Mary was looking at me worriedly. "Are you alright, Adam? You look a bit off."

I gave her a small smile to warn off the unwanted- but sweet- concern. "I'm fine. Long day." I wiped the blood off my forehead so it would stop dripping in my eyes, but then my hand was covered in blood, so I wiped it off on my jeans. That was sure to leave a stain, and Mary glared reproachfully but crossed her arms and kept her silence.

"It's about when I was dead," I said.

"Which time?" Sam asked, and I frowned.

"Do you know how weird that sounds?" I complained. "I remember when I was normal…"

Dean rolled his eyes. "Yeah yeah, life sucks, what's your point?"

"We know who killed him," Chuck said, but he was looking nervous again and I could see him trying to look _anywhere _but in Cas's general direction. "It's just… we think there's more to it."

John had leaned forward in his chair, interested. That protective Winchester glint- the one that so often got them killed while sacrificing themselves- was in his eyes. It was slightly touching, but a bit worrisome too, and I could see that Mary had noticed. Her frown deepened, but she kept out of it. I wasn't, after all, her child, no matter how much she may or may not want me to be. "Who did it?"

Dean was trying to look as if he didn't care, but I could see the glint in his eyes as well. He'd spent his whole life being a protective older brother; it just came naturally to him. Sam looked interested, but not unduly so.

Chuck and I both hesitated, not exactly eager to say. "Who?" Sam finally asked. "I mean, you two die almost as often as Dean and I, but we still don't know who has been responsible for Chuck's last murder."

I sighed, dropping my head onto my arm. "We know this one." Suddenly telling them didn't seem to be such a good idea, even if I was sure John was our only hope in figuring this out. Maybe if we _only _told John…?

"It was Cas," I heard Chuck say from beside me. There was a quick movement in the room and the warm weight of Chuck's hand on my arm vanished. I looked up, making myself dizzy with the quick movement, and saw that Dean had Chuck pinned to the wall by his throat. Everyone in the room looked on in various levels of shock. Only Crowley still looked eternally bored, but even his interest had perked slightly at our God being choked to death. Cas looked stunned and oddly _hurt _by the accusation. I knew that the angel couldn't lie worth crap, so that only further resolved that something seriously _weird _was going on around here.

"Dean!" I yelled, jumping at my brother and trying to drag him off of the man I loved. "Really, let up!"

"No!" Dean growled. "He can't just… you can't… say things… accuse…"

"Bro, you aren't making any sense." Sam had joined me on Dean's other side, pulling almost gently, and Dean finally backed off. Chuck was gasping for air as I pulled him into my arms and held him close, glaring at my oldest brother over his head. "Maybe we should all just sit back down and listen to the rest of what they have to say?" Sam suggested calmly.

I sighed and nodded, dragging Chuck's chair as close to mine as possible because I simply refused to let go of him. He seemed content to remain in my arms, his head resting on my shoulder, while I took over the talking.

"Like Chuck said before, _we think there's more to it." _I spat each word out, glaring at Dean. He glared right back just as defiantly, and I sighed. I gave up on my brother for the moment and turned to Cas. "Look, I know you didn't do it… intentionally. It's just, we went back in time and I _saw _you kill me. It… wasn't very pretty. Kind of zombie like, really." I frowned, thinking back to my blood and guts and the way Cas had licked his fingers clean. Ew.

"You went back in time?" Sam asked, looking like a curious puppy once more. "How did you manage that?"

"Chuck's powers," I said with a small shrug.

"What if he messed with it?" Dean accused. "No one knows what he's capable of!"

"Dean!" Mary chastised.

"Look, I get it, _I _don't want to think it was Cas either, but I get it, Dean," I told him, trying to get through the anger and make him see just a harmless- well, somewhat harmless- little brother sitting here. "I don't think he did it. I think something compelled him to. He probably doesn't even remember. I just called this meeting to figure out _what." _

Dean blinked. "So… it was him, but it wasn't?"

"Sure," I said. "I think. My head kinda hurts." I still had my left arm around Chuck, but I put my right one down on the table and lay my head against it. "Is it even possible?" I asked in general.

"Anything's possible, boy," Bobby said.

"Adam…" That was Mary, and I felt her hand on my shoulder a moment later. "Are you sure you're okay?"

"I'm…" I started, but when I lifted my head a moment later it began swimming violently. I felt like I was out in the middle of the ocean during a hurricane, drowning…. I turned my head to the right and puked, the meager contents of my stomach spilling out over the floor in a disgusting wave of color and smell and horrifying _taste… _"… not so okay…" I choked out, conceding that maybe I was sick.

I pushed myself back into sitting position to see everyone staring at me, horrified. I was about to ask them _what _were they staring at, but then my vision got even dizzier and I was falling towards the table, my mind going black…

I woke up lying on the table with everyone crowded around me. My shirt was gone, but I was relieved to feel that the rest of my clothing was still firmly in place. "What's wrong?" I tried to ask, but the words came out kind of slurred and strangled all at once, not really sounding like _words _at all.

"Shhh," Mary said, placing something cool against my forehead. Not cool, _cold- _so cold that the freeze almost felt like a burn. "You'll be alright, darling, just rest…"

I was about to drift off again when there was a bang as the door flew open. I forced myself to look and saw everyone whirl in time to catch Jo stumbling into the room. She spun around almost dizzily until Sam reached out and stopped her. "Jo? What is it?"

"Blood's raining for the sky…" she sang quietly, and the eeriness of her strange statement had chills running down my spine. But Jo was crazy- everyone knew that. I glanced at the window and the sun was still shining- no clouds, no rain, and certainly no blood.

"What do you mean, Jo?" Sam asked her gently, but then Ash burst in the room.

"Trouble," he said, his face pale, but that was all he said before he grabbed his sister and ran from the room. I noted vaguely that he was headed for the basement before I was just too tired and whatever I was sick with pulled me under once more.

* * *

_AN: Sorry! I was out of town for five days, and then I came home and had been sick for a week and a half so my mom took me to the hospital. Turns out I have mono, so I slept for a couple of days... Plus, I had mega writer's block. =P I missed you though! Hope this is worth nine days of absence! Reviews are love. _


	47. Chapter 47

**Chuck**

I caught Adam as he fell out of his chair, ghostly pale with a cold sweat. At the same time, everybody at the table stood up and began running towards the door to see what was outside. I used that opportunity to hoist Adam onto the table and lay him out flat. I placed my hand over his chest and felt out what had caused him to get sick. I didn't like any of what I found. It was dark, endless, and terrifyingly familiar.

"Chuck, will you come take a look at this?" Bobby called from the porch. Clenching my fist, I stood up and walked away after a final glance back at Adam.

"What?" I growled, stepping outside.

I looked up and instantly saw what had everybody in a twist. Hundreds of Croats were running towards the house as though it was made out of meat. My army was still barely managing to stumble out of their cabins, brandishing their weapons.

"Who the hell put that gate up?" Bobby demanded. "It don't work for shit to keep anything out!"

"Crowley," I scoffed. "Guess we should have learned not to expect reliability from a demon by now."

"Wait—it was Crowley?" Bobby said, a distant look in his eyes. "You told us it was all a gift from Michael…"

"Um, can we focus on the main issue here?" I said quickly, knowing Crowley would gut me for spilling his secret. "We're kinda under attack."

"Yeah, just another day of the freakin' week," he said bitterly, turning his harshest glare on me. "What the hell is this all about?"

The first Croat reached the house and leapt straight for me. I caught it by the throat and the whole body turned to ashes beneath my fingertips.

"Look, it was for you alright?" I said, turning back to Bobby who was waiting anxiously. "I guess it was his own way of trying to help you. You were really stressed at that time, ya know?"

"_Help_ me?" Bobby repeated, relentless even as I incinerated a Croat that had jumped for his head. "Why the hell would he want to do that?"

"I don't know!" I said innocently, helping Mary to her feet after she had been knocked down. "Maybe it has something to do with the affair you've got going."

"We are _so_ not—" Bobby paused in the middle of his self denial to grab a Croat which was reaching for his ankle. He pulled it up in the air with surprising strength and snapped its neck. Throwing the body to the ground, he turned back on me. "—having an affair!"

"Can we, maybe, talk about this later?" I pleaded, sounding like my old self for a slight glimpse. Unfortunately, that did nothing to summon what little mercy Bobby might have.

"No, ya' idjit, we're discussing this now!" he shouted.

No more Croats were currently attacking the porch, so I was able to stop and take a breath. The Winchesters and everybody else, however, charged right for the fight on the front lawn. Now that we had a break, I gave Bobby my full attention.

"Do you remember that day you told me to stay out of your liquor cabinet?" I said, waiting until he nodded to continue. "Well, you should have known that I wouldn't. But then you walked in, and Crowley was there, and you two were arguing…then you made out and I kinda saw…Crowley told me not to tell."

I began to fear for my life as Bobby's face became as red as War's cherry Mustang, the same way it had that terrifying day in the kitchen. I gulped and took a step away from the man who could choke the life out of me with a single hand.

"Squealer," Crowley muttered, leisurely walking up the porch steps. "How are you supposed to lead your piss poor hunters in a war if you tell the enemy your battle plans?"

"He deserved to know!" I shouted at the demon who simply rolled his eyes. "Besides, I trust Bobby more than you any day!"

"If that's your apology, it sucks, moron," Bobby muttered.

"Why don't you go save your little friends' lives, alright?" Crowley suggested, shooing me away with his hand. "Lover boy and me here have some things to discuss."

I rolled my eyes but quickly ran away from the porch. I didn't think anyone would want to be near the house for that particular round of an apology.

Everyone seemed to have a hold of the fight, numbers being their only disadvantage. Whenever I wanted to help someone, they just made pouty faces like I was stealing their thunder, so I continued on my way. Feeling pretty useless, I teleported to the gate, far away enough from the Croats that they wouldn't notice me.

The gate looked basically human, so I wondered how Crowley could possibly have found it useful for protection when he stole it. I was beginning to think he had assumed it to be used as a prop until I discovered a tiny red wire running along the loops at the very top of the fence. I followed the wire in one direction until it led me to an area where a large willow tree covered the entire section of the gate.

I walked up to the drooping vines of leaves and began brushing them away. I finally managed to uncover the wire and saw that it headed straight for the ground where it was just shy of a small outlet box.

"You have got to be kidding me…" I muttered, plugging the wire into the outlet. An electric charge radiated through the wires and shot outwards along the fence. At the same time, all the Croats in my line of sight dropped down like dead flies. All those who had been on the outside of the fence began screaming and running away with terror in their eyes.

I teleported back to the porch where everybody was looking around, trying to mask their disappointment since all the Croats had been killed.

"Chuck, did you do this?" Dean asked, kicking one of the corpses.

"The gate wasn't plugged in," I shrugged, turning back towards the house.

"You're kidding right?" he shouted as he and the others followed me back inside.

I walked right into the dining room and sat down at the table next to Adam's head. He began to stir, blue eyes blinking open in the adorable way that he does.

"So, back to the original problem, right?" Dean guessed. He sat down across from me, holding onto Castiel protectively.

"Cas, when you were off on your own after I gave your grace back, how did you kill the Croatoans?" I asked. I took Adam's hand as he reached for me in his half-awake daze. I placed my other hand on his forehead and forced him back to sleep.

"How is that relevant?" Cas asked, frowning at me.

"Just humor me," I ordered. Cas's jaw tightened in the way that it always did whenever he would follow Uriel or Zachariah's orders.

"I would take the sickness from their human bodies and store it away since it cannot harm me," he said, watching me carefully for any sign of a falter.

"It all makes sense…" I sighed. "Bob is trying to teach me a lesson. He must have used you to kill Adam then used what you stored up as a back up plan."

"You're trying to say…my baby brother's gonna be one of those freaks we were just fighting?" Dean whispered, his voice cold as he stared down at Adam's motionless form.

"Then I can just take it away like I did before," Cas said instantly. "I'll go far from here where I can't hurt him."

"Not without me, you're not," Dean said, squeezing the angel's hand. Cas smiled delicately as Dean nudged his shoulder.

"It wouldn't make any difference," I sighed sadly. "I'm not meant to save him this time. The only reason he let Jesse sacrifice himself was for his own personal bonus. He's not going to let Adam have any more freebies."

"You saying my son's gonna die?" Mary whimpered, a hand covering her mouth which was surely gaping in horror.

"Technically—" Cas started, but Dean quickly stopped him.

"You think I give a rat's ass about biology?" Mary shrieked at Castiel, causing him to shrink back in fear. "Adam's a Winchester! He's family, dammit, Chuck! Why is this happening?"

"It's the lesson," I whispered, feeling fear grip my lungs. "He wants to make me realize that I can't save everybody just because I want to. He's proving that I'm nothing more than a weapon to him and I've got to follow his rules no matter what. He's not going to let me save him…"

Adam began to wake up again, somehow breaking through the spell I had put him under.

"Chuck," he moaned painfully, clenching his stomach. "I hurt all over…make it stop?"

"Sure thing," I said, wiping his fast growing hair away from his eyes. "I'm gonna make it all better, okay?"

Adam nodded and smiled in a trusting way. It made me feel so guilty, knowing that in his mind, I would be betraying his trust in order to save him.

"Can you really?" Sam asked hopefully, taking the seat at my side. "Do you know how to fix this?"

"Yes," I nodded, unable to stop tears from freely flowing down my cheeks. Adam's features contracted slightly with confusion, but he looked so tired that I doubted he could register a thing that was being said. "Bob wants me as his weapon to learn the lesson. If there's no more weapon, no more lesson, no need for Adam to suffer any longer."

"No," Mary said firmly. "There's got to be another way; you're just jumping to conclusions here!"

I smiled down at Adam, ignoring the wave of protests that were being shot at me. I leaned over and lightly kissed him, trying desperately not to communicate my silent goodbye. I knew I had failed when I stood up and saw the frightened expression on his face.

"Are you leaving me?" he whispered hoarsely. The added pain in his voice only reminded me how urgent the situation was. He had one hour, maybe two until the virus finished working its way through his digestive system.

"I'm going to make you all better," I told him. "Just hold on, for me?"

He nodded with an encouraging smile and closed his eyes. I gave one last glance at everyone in the room before teleporting away.

* * *

_AN: Okay, personally, I think Laura's chapter was worth the wait (remember, I was waiting this time too!), don't you? Oh, wow, but my Adam... I will fix this! Somehow. =) Probably not, but there's hope, right? Hm, look forward to angst and tell Laura how much you love her, please? Reviews are love! _


	48. Chapter 48

**Adam**

Waking up was a struggle. My mind felt like it was drowning in a black sea that had more in common with cooling tar than water. I forced myself awake anyways, but quickly realized that consciousness didn't feel much better. My stomach was reeling turbulently: I was sure that I would lose whatever food was in my stomach, but the purely acidic bile in the back of my throat led me to believe that there was nothing in my stomach _for _me to puke. I'd probably puked it up already. My head felt like it was being pierced by white hot daggers. Opening my eyes didn't help the migraine, the light making me wince and close my eyes again.

"You awake?" Dean's gruff voice broke through the quiet hum of the room and I forced my eyes open again.

"Yeah." I heard the click of a gun and my eyes focused in on it… aimed at me. "Hey!"

"Just insurance," he told me not-quite-reassuringly. "Can't let a Croat get the jump on me."

"But I'm not…" His steely gaze didn't falter, so I gave up. "Fine, fine," I told him, putting up my hands. "How do I prove it?"

"He isn't infected." I whirled to the new voice and saw Cas standing in the shadowy corner of the room. Had he been there this whole time or had he just zapped in?

"You sure?" Dean asked a bit hesitantly, but Cas nodded and Dean put the gun down.

It was only then- when my life _wasn't _being compromised by my slightly insane dick of an older brother- that I noticed something wrong and felt a familiar tugging my chest. "Where's Chuck?"

"What do you remember?" Dean asked and I gave him a glare for evading the question. I tried to ignore my building panic and sense of foreboding while I answered.

Except I realized answering wasn't easy- I didn't remember much. "I died… and we saw Jesse… and then… family meeting…?" I gave up. "I don't know."

Dean was frowning. "So, nothing then?"

"Well, nothing recent," I corrected. "What's going on?" I hated that I sounded scared; it made me sound like the kid I still was. No one treated me like I was younger than them- Dean and Sam excepted at times- and I didn't exactly want them to start to now.

"SAM!" Dean hollered loudly and I winced, covering my ears with my hands and trying to murder my idiot of a brother with my eyes. When I pulled my hands away again, I heard footsteps thundering down the stairs and the door to the panic room was pushed open further.

"What?" Sam asked as he stepped inside. His eyes alighted on me first and he gave me a small grin. It didn't take an even slightly observant person to notice that it didn't reach his eyes. They looked sad, like a kicked puppy… No, more like he was about to kick a puppy before slicing open its stomach to yank out its guts. And wasn't _that _just a lovely mental image? "Hey kid," I winced at the nickname, "how ya feeling?"

"Um… like I was attacked by a cement truck?"

He chuckled. "Sounds about right," he agreed, turning to Dean. "What?"

Dean just shrugged, stood up, and ruffled Sam's hair like he was an eight year old. "You're the huggy type; you tell him." Sam paled considerably and I swallowed audibly- this was not going to be fun. At. All. "See ya, Adam," Dean said as he waved and all but _ran _out the door.

At least Cas was still here, for whatever that was worth.

I refused to ask what was going on _again- _especially now that I was about 100% sure I _didn't_want to know- so I just waited patiently as Sam took a seat in the chair Dean had vacated and stared at the ground, then the ceiling. He looked at Cas, and then at me, before taking a breath and beginning. All of his words were strung together until they almost sounded like one word, not many. They definitely were not sentences, as Sam never paused. He talked like he was ripping off a band aid- quickly so that it would be less painful- but the speed of the delivery didn't lessen the pain of the words. "Cas killed you- on accident but we didn't know that at the time- but Jesse traded himself to get you back and now he's an angel and you went and saw him and he told you Cas wouldn't do that and you'd already seen when you and Chuck went back to the past to see who'd killed you that Cas was being controlled and then you came back to tell us this but then you passed out and we were under attack and we got the fence to work and then Chuck figured out that you had the Croatoan virus and you were being turned and he promised he'd help you, but the only way to help you was to leave because God was using you against him to prove a point so he's gone now and we don't know where he is and it's been three days and…" Sam trailed off miserably before looking up at Cas. Cas nodded to him with- what?- approval?

My world was crashing to a halt. Chuck was gone. _Again. _And we'd seen how well I did all those other times my silly, stupid, _wonderful _boyfriend left me here without him. I'd been a mess. I'd be a mess. I _was _a mess right now. "When is he coming back?" I asked. My voice had turned into a hoarse, whispered croak.

"Um… the idea was never." Sam bit his lip and looked at me almost pleadingly. "I'm so sorry."

_Sorry. _The reason for my existence was gone and he was _sorry? _But no, it wasn't Sam's fault. It wasn't Chuck's fault. Hell, could I even blame Bob? No. But then who's fault was it?

_Yours, _some evil and traitorous part of me whispered. _You could only ever hurt him. You've only ever made his life harder. You've gotten him killed and now you've run him off. He'll be lost out there in that wasteland full of Croats and when he dies it will be all your fault… _I was only dimly aware of the fact that I had curled up into a ball. Tears were streaming down my cheeks and Sam was talking, but I couldn't hear the words. He crossed the room and hugged me, my sweet and well-meaning brother, but I didn't want him to hug me. I didn't want to turn into a sobbing twelve year old, I wanted my brain to _shut the bloody hell up _before it made me into a whimpering child. I needed to not think.

I turned to Cas. "I want to sleep. Please?" The broken plea in my voice would have been horribly embarrassing if I had enough left in me to care. I didn't. In the moment it took Cas to reach out and put me to sleep my mind was numb, my heart was being torn to shreds with white hot knives, and my soul was screaming. Cas' two fingers touched my forehead then and everything went blissfully silent and black. I relaxed into the peace, enjoying it while I could, knowing it couldn't possibly last forever…

_~Six months later~ _

I woke up with a chill of foreboding that hinted at dark times to come. Surprisingly, this was unusual. After Chuck had plugged in the fence Croats and demons had stayed away, giving us six months of peace. The hunters had either learned to settle down or formed raiding parties that ventured outside the gates to do their part to decrease the Croatoan population. Most of them even survived and came home at the end of the day. Considering this was the Apocalypse , things couldn't be going better.

That didn't stop me from feeling the painful gaping hole in my existence. It made me sound like a badly written romance novel, but without _him _(I had stopped saying his name: it only made my heart twinge. The others picked up on my aversion to it and had stopped calling him by name as well, alluding to him only when absolutely necessary.) my soul was like a dead rose: withered and falling apart.

Not that everything about the past six months had been bad. Mary- who had apparently declared her role as my mother while I was sick with the Croat virus- had been relieved to have me back completely well again. In the peaceful- sometimes even _boring- _months that followed she had devoted herself to mending the impossibly huge rift between me and John. I wasn't sure if it was on their mother's orders or by their own decision, but Sam and Dean began making an effort to include me in whatever strange antics they decided to get up to. They strived to pretend that I wasn't throwing everything off and making every situation impossibly awkward, and in time we grew used to each other. Being together became less awkward and more fun until I was settled comfortably into their normal bantering- until I was one of them. Bobby and Crowley… no one (excepting maybe Cas and his near-omniscient abilities) really knew where they stood, but everyone could feel the awkward tension between them. Cas was acting more and more normal each day; even the most seasoned hunter would have trouble guessing that there was anything unusual about him at all now. I claimed that it was overexposure to us that made the angel act more human; he wasn't going out anymore. He was afraid of accidentally infecting us with the virus, so there was nothing for him to do outside of our gates.

It would have been perfect. On the surface it was. But if anyone looked closer they'd see the careful, fragile, made-of-glass way I was treated. They'd see that I winced at the mention of God- of the Chuck _or _Bob variety- or love. Any public displays of affection made me bite right through my lip until blood dripped freely in a stream down my chin. They'd see that even _Becky _had stopped making Supernatural references because the last time she'd made one I had curled up in the corner of my room and been unable to eat, sleep, or talk for three days. They'd see that the sleepless nights and lack of appetite were just getting worse each day. They'd see Mary cornering me in the kitchen to force five course meals down me or watch her dosing me with sleeping pills so that I could get rest. They'd see that, perfect family bonding time aside, I was living through six months of my own personal hell.

But even through all of that I hadn't had _this _feeling, the feeling so frequent back _before, _the feeling that warned me that all wasn't necessarily still "right" with the world at present. Instead of getting out of bed and stumbling downstairs to coffee and morning chatting I reached over and grabbed the book off my bedside table: Markus' journal. I had it memorized by now; I read it whenever I couldn't sleep. I found comfort in the word's of the past prophet's guardian. They reminded me of happier times, but in a less painful and destructive way than actually _remembering _them.

My name being shouted up the stairs jolted me from my reading, though. I rushed down the stairs, grateful that I'd worn jeans to sleep the night before, and found almost everyone gathered in the kitchen- why always the _kitchen? _"What's going on?" I took a mental roll call and realized that Bobby, Mary, and Becky were missing. "Oh, _no… _Seriously?"

Sam smiled a bit grimly. "You're our trained doctor." He waved towards the panic room. "Go do your doctor thing and save lives…"

I groaned. "I'm not a _real _doctor! When will you people get that? There's a _pre _in front of the med I was studying!"

Dean shoved a cup of coffee at me. "Have fun."

I glared around at them all for a moment before heading slowly towards the panic room, mentally trying to recall the time Lynn had given birth and what I'd done then. My med-student mode switched on for the first time in ages, bringing back important details and rushing to prepare me. The memories were full of Chuck and they hurt and Becky couldn't afford a broken me right now, so I retreated to the back of my mind and set myself on auto-pilot. All the functions minus the emotional attachments- perfect for this situation. From the back of my mind I watched and waited, time meaning very little. Finally, after only a few minutes or a handful of hours, the first of the babies was born. A boy, I could see. Auto-me handed him off to Bobby, who passed him to Mary, while I refocused. The second child followed soon after, a little girl this time. I watched myself pass him off to Bobby while I finished up taking care of Becky. Once everything was clean and handled, I pushed myself back to the front of my mind.

"How are you feeling?" I asked Becky.

She was a mess, sweaty and pale, but she gave me the odd combination of a glare and a smile. "You all suck for doing this to me," she pointed out, but then she looked over at the babies with an adoring smile. "But they're _Winchesters…" _She was proud as only a mother could be.

Her use of my chosen surname, however, had me realizing something: those two squirmy blanket burritos were partly _mine, _too. Partly Bobby's, though he'd realized that I could tell by the way he smiled down at the little cocoon in his arms. My jaw dropped in shock. For one blissful, free moment I didn't feel the hurt or pain of being forced to live when everything I lived for was gone, because there were two little lives that had parts of _me _in them…

Mary passed me the little girl. "I'll go tell the others," she murmured quietly, kissing my forehead before she left the room.

"What will you name them?" Bobby asked Becky.

She frowned. "I never thought of that…"

A slightly choked laugh filled the room and I realized after a moment that it came from me. "Eight months and you _never _thought about their names?"

Becky shrugged. "Nope."

Bobby passed the boy off to her. "Well you'd better have a name for 'em before Mary gets in here," he advised.

Becky winced at the thought of that explosion. "True," she agreed musingly. "I'll name him Christopher, then."

"Any reason?" I asked.

She shrugged. "Any reason not to? I don't know any Christophers yet…"

"Christopher it is," Bobby agreed. "And her?" he asked, gesturing towards the little one in my arms. Her eyes opened as if she could sense that we were all looking at her. My stomach dropped as I saw her eyes- _Chuck's _eyes- staring up at me.

Becky noticed too; I could tell by the almost gentle way she was looking at me. _Becky _gentle was such a strong oxymoron that it didn't fit easily in my mind at all. "Why don't you name her, Adam?"

I cuddled the little girl a bit closer, unable to look away from her eyes now. "Faith," I heard myself saying. After all of this the name fit; it just seemed _right. _

The others were entering the room now; some hesitant and quiet and completely unsure of what to do- Sam and Dean and Crowley, for example- while the others- like John and Mary and Cas- were completely at ease. Cas ended up standing next to me. He watched the little girl curiously as she reached out a hand towards him, her little fingers moving as she got used to life in the outside world. "Faith," he said quietly. "It's a good name."

I smiled my first real smile in months. "I know."

Sam had come to look at her over my other shoulder. My little angel fell asleep after a while, tired from all the newness of everything around her. Sam and Cas, tactful after months of training, didn't comment on her eyes. "Want to hold her?" I asked Sam. He lit up like a Christmas tree and took her carefully, beaming like the proudest uncle in the world. It was honestly adorable.

And a bit overwhelming. "I'll be back in a few minutes," I told him, headed up to the kitchen. Bobby made his liquor cabinet off limits, but no one ever listened. I'd been good about not getting drunk lately- it worried everyone and just made me more miserable- but a little drink right now wouldn't do any harm. I was just about to swipe a bottle of whisky when there was a soft knock on the front door.

No one else was up here to hear it, so I shut the cabinet doors a bit reluctantly before crossing to open up. All the good feelings that had been brought by the little babies quickly fell away, the pain and hurt coming rushing right back. Standing on our doorstep looking more weary and tired than any person had a right to was the very reason for my depression: Chuck. Suddenly after months of dreaming about him and longing for him I _didn't _want him here. I wanted him gone, away, far from here where he couldn't worm his way back into my life and hurt me again.

Something of my anger and betrayal must have showed in my expression because he winced slightly. "Adam…"

I didn't want to hear it. I didn't want to ever hear his voice, that sweet and beautiful voice that had haunted every dream and nightmare I'd had for the last _six months. _I spun around and marched up the stairs, leaving him standing behind me. I made _him _watch _me _leave and it was almost satisfying to my bloody, mangled heart… Almost, except for the way his kicked puppy expression seemed burned into my mind, haunting me as I slammed the door to our- _my- _room shut. I kicked out at the bed, not feeling the pain but taking pleasure from the split I'd made in the wood. What right did he have to just come back after all that time? How could he think that he was allowed to come back during the _only _good moment of the last six months and _break _me again?

And _why, _why did I still _want _him so badly? Why did I love him so much?

Everything hurt so much that when I collapsed down on the bed either my mental anguish and confusion or my lack of ability to breathe properly _due _to that had me falling into a deep, dreamless sleep.

* * *

_AN: Sorry- I really wanted to update it yesterday, exactly one week after the last one, but I didn't finish until just now... it's about 1 am, so at least you know I tried! I hope the length and answered questions make up for the time it took me to write it! =) Reviews are love!_


	49. Chapter 49

**Chuck**

I had paced in front of Bob's bar for hours that final night, nearly wearing holes straight through the soles of my shoes. I knew he must have been watching my slow progress, waiting for me to get a grip and find the courage to go inside on my suicide mission. After the third hour, I had managed to grasp that courage and finally walked through the door. Bob was leaning in the counter, staring curiously at me as I attempted to be strong.

"So?" I choked out, my voice wavering. "What do you think?"

"Of what?" Bob responded, tilting his head. "You haven't given me anything in particular to think about. How do you expect me to form an opinion?"

"Right," I said, frowning. "I guess I just expected you to be reading my mind this whole time."

"No, that would ruin the point of allowing you vocal chords," he shrugged simply. "So tell me, what is on your mind that I have so respectfully ignored?"

"I quit," I said quickly, feeling my heart beat painfully as though expecting to be struck down at that moment. When I was left standing, fully intact, I continued. "I know this may be a little unbelievable, but you made a mistake. I'm just not demigod material. I get attached really easily, I make stupid decisions every day, and I'm in love. That last one alone should be enough of a warning sign to switch direction. Give my powers to someone else, punish me if you must, just don't hurt Adam. You and I both know this world is a better place with him in it."

"I'll admit, your lover is a more useful weapon on Earth than in my army," Bob nodded. "And rest assured, there are backup vessels, capable of wielding your powers. As for Adam…I'm afraid he's already been doomed. In order to save him and keep the Earth in balance, I would need to take another human's life spark and give it to him. Are you saying that you are prepared to offer yours?"

"Yes," I answered without hesitation. "I know it'll kill me, but he has to live. He's _got_ to!"

Bob went silent for a long time, staring at me thoughtfully. I decided not to interrupt him and kept my mouth shut. Minutes ticked by and I began to grow uncomfortable, but he finally came to a decision.

"This is a very brave and honorable thing," he concluded. "I like your kind, same as Jesse. You would make a wonderful addition to the army, but I made your mind with such intricacies that I would never be able to wipe the memory of Adam from you. Charles, I will accept your offer. As a reward for your work under my will, I will grant you one gift."

Bob snapped his fingers and a man appeared directly in front of me. I didn't need to even have eyes to know that it was a reaper. The cold aura of death radiated off of him in one never ending blast. I looked up at his ghostly pale face, wondering if he'd been capable of smiling in life. His arms reached out to me, pulling me into his cold embrace and everything went dark.

This death wasn't painful or frightening like the last time I'd died. Sure it was cold, but a welcome chill from the too-hot air inside Bob's bar. All around me, my memories flashed by, the most pronounced ones being of Adam and everybody at home. But the one that grasped me the most was a combination of every time I had looked in his eyes. There was so much love and devotion from him that it was overwhelming, even in my bodiless state. In a flash, he was gone and it was all over.

I opened my eyes and looked around at my new surroundings. Wherever I was, it definitely wasn't Earth. Everything was surreal; beautiful and eerie all at once. I was on an island of some sort, staring out on a vast, murky body of water. The sky was a grey blue, curved in such a way that it gave me the impression of being in a large dome. Overhead was a starry night sky, though the rest of this strange place wasn't dark enough for night. I wondered if it was neutral because there would be no days or nights needing to be distinguished. Turning around, I saw that my island was composed of something familiar.

The beach was rocky and lead up a hill which was topped by the cabin Adam and I had stayed in while searching for the Vatican. Right beside the cabin was a beautiful, dark green field with a single tree. I'd seen it enough times in my dreams to recognize it as the tree in Italy where we'd first made love. _Heaven_ my mind automatically thought, filling in the blank. This is my own personal Heaven.

"Not exactly," said Bob, appearing in front of me. "This is a unique realm, entirely for you. It is composed of both Heaven and Hell, which of course is a contradiction so things even out. Now, here's my gift to you: a back door."

"Back door?" I repeated, trying not to be hopeful as my mind raced ahead of me. "What do you mean?"

"There's a back door out of this place," he clarified, solidifying my hopes. "From here, you are able to earn your passage back to life on Earth and back to your Adam. All you have to do is cross the ocean."

"Alright!" I exclaimed, turning toward the water. Then I paused, frowning. "How exactly do I get across?"

"Build a boat," Bob said simply. "The necessary tools are in the cabin. The tree will regenerate, no matter how many times you cut it down. The energy you focus on building that boat will be fused together, creating your new life spark. When your boat is complete, sail across and you will find yourself back on Earth. I have preserved your body specifically for this purpose. Good luck, Chuck. You are on your own from here on out. I'm proud of you."

The next moment, he had disappeared, leaving me all alone. I took a deep breath, going over in my mind what he had said. Not wanting to waste another moment, I ran up the hill and straight into the cabin which was just as Adam and I had left it, blankets in front of the fire place and all. Standing in the kitchen was Adam, more or less, staring out the window as I had been that day. It was obvious it wasn't really Adam. This one was too peaceful, too distant.

"I missed you!" he said, grinning as he pranced over to me. The real Adam _so_ did not prance. He stopped short as I took a step away from him. "What's wrong?"

"You're from Hell's side, aren't you?" I guessed, not meaning to be so harsh.

"But…I thought I was your heaven…" he said, making that hurt face that had always been able to yank my heartstrings.

"Yes—no, Adam's my heaven," I stuttered. "You're from Hell's side, I just know it. You're just going to try to convince me to stay here forever and forget about everything else. Well, it's not going to work."

"Really?" he whispered, slight hope in his could eyes. He stepped closer to me, assaulting my senses with every memory I had of Adam's smell or feel.

I quickly turned and walked away from him, intensely focusing on what materials I would need for the boat. The first things I reached for was blueprint paper and a gleaming silver ax. I knew I would never be able to work with the illusion of Adam as a distraction, so I would need to do everything outside. I turned to walk back out the door but was instantly sidetracked by Adam sitting shyly on the moth eaten, dust covered couch, looking lonely and dejected.

"Just leave me," he whispered painfully. "I'll be here…waiting."

"I know," I said, forcing my feet to trudge towards the door. But I just couldn't help myself. I dropped everything in my arms and ran over to Adam, yanking him up to my chest. Even kissing him felt wrong, but addicting all the same. Real Adam would never be so submissive. I'd always allowed him to take control; I actually preferred it. Holding onto that thought, I finally released the imposter Adam and backed away from him, hurriedly running out the door.

The next…however long I was on the island, were emotionally confusing. The only sense of time I had was when I looked into the glassy surface of the water which somehow allowed me a view into Adam's life. Seeing him so broken made my heart die all over again, but was enough motivation to make me work faster.

In my new state, I didn't need to sleep until I had worn myself out. Some internal clock told me that it would have been one night's sleep for every week, but there were no days or nights to confirm it. When I had been so worn from working on the boat that I felt I would collapse, I would go to the cabin to sleep. I only stayed on the blankets in front of the fire which was oddly lit every time I walked in. Adam would always lay with me, stroking my hair or humming a lullaby the whole time. I didn't mind—I was getting better at denying him what he wanted. I knew that by doing _that_ I would be sealing my fate of eternity on the sad little island.

For some reason, whenever I tried to sleep, a strange storm rolled in over head. Rain pounded on the cabin and thunder whipped the sky, but I just smiled as I cried myself to sleep. My idiot box was imitating the storm that had come to pass that night which oddly enough helped lull me to sleep even faster. Sometimes, I found myself, trying desperately to stay awake simply so I could listen to the storm and remember.

After what seemed like an eternity, I had finally finished the boat. It was no Titanic, but no wimpy dingy either. Maybe a large yacht size, but it had to be enough to carry me across. If not, I was willing to resort to swimming back to my Adam. The moment I realized I was finished, I went up to the tree on the hill and sat down, admiring my work. After a while, Adam came out of the cabin to join me.

"You're leaving, aren't you?" he said quietly, more of a sad statement than a question.

"Yeah," I said, just as quietly. "I'm all finished. I can go home…"

"Am I really such bad company?" he asked, laughing humorlessly.

I smiled to myself, shaking my head. I turned just enough to give him a light kiss on the cheek before standing up, more eager than ever to be home. My informal body felt strange, as though sensing it didn't have to work anymore. Honestly, all that chopping, shaping, hammering, and rebuilding when I messed up was painful. Everything that was capable of aching still ached, begging me for the sleep which my mind didn't need, therefore easily denied.

I ran down to my boat, not seeming able to climb in fast enough. I chopped the single rope that held the contraption in place and sat down as the boat began to move. For a heart stopping moment, the boat wobbled as though it was going to fall over. It had done that twice before already, leaving me with what seemed like a hundred years worth of repairs. But my creation made it to the water and began to float. Out of nowhere, a tide rolled out, away from the island, pushing the boat along. I knew it just had to be an act of fate—the water had been still my entire visit.

I stayed out on the deck, watching the water run past me, puking over the edge, until I could handle it no more. I needed sleep more than ever. I went down below where I had set the blankets from the cabin. Crawling beneath them, I took a deep breathing, inhaling Adam's scent which still lingered. I was _so close_ to being with him again. After so long, I would have the real Adam. No distance, no submission; pure, hostile, temperamental, adorably lovable Adam. With hopes and dreams dancing through my mind, I easily drifted to sleep.

When I awoke, I knew that the boat had stopped moving. It tilted side to side in that sickening way, but it was no longer flying across the water as it had been before. Grabbing the blankets, I quickly ran up to the deck to see what had happened.

The boat was resting in a pond, barely big enough to consider a pond, but I had never been more happy to see it. This was one of the landmarks I'd spotted when Becky and I had driven to Bob the first time. Looking up, I instantly spotted the road that would lead me right up to camp Chitaqua.

I leaped out of the boat, kissing it goodbye before running down toward the road. Grinning with excitement, I closed my eyes to teleport, a little dismayed but overjoyed when I went nowhere. No more powers. I took a deep breath—I'd completely forgotten what it felt like to be human, totally disconnected from universal energy or magical forces. My body had warm blood flowing through it, no headaches, and a sudden need for a bathroom.

My joy only barely faded in the hours that followed, walking down the road. My feet had never hurt so badly, but I wouldn't trade it for anything. A couple times I considered stopping to sleep. After all, I still had the blankets from the cabin which had cradled me to sleep all this time. But I was on a roll! By midnight, I was on the last mile to camp which meant that I'd already leaped over the fence which was a bitch of a thing to do, what with it being active and all. But I managed and continued on my way, aching only slightly more than before.

My moment finally arrived. My heart was beating in that painfully exciting way as I passed by the many cabins unnoticed. It was strange, not to know what each person was thinking or feeling as I walked by, but a welcome strange. I felt almost numb from overdose of emotion as I walked up the porch steps, approaching the front door. I knew I was allowed to walk right in. It wasn't like I was a stranger or anything. But it felt wrong to just barge in, so I raised a shaking arm and knocked.

Something in the back of my mind just knew that Adam was the first face I would see with my human eyes. I knew it wasn't the magic or godly omniscience. It was the overwhelming power created by the close proximity of my soul mate. I wondered if he felt the same thing…if he'd been missing it as much as I had.

After a moment, the door swung open, and there stood Adam. In that first moment, he seemed to be glowing, though still plagued by the sadness I had seen from watching over him so often. As his mind registered my face, I saw the glow fade and the happiness leave him. Disbelief clouded my mind. I thought for sure he'd be ecstatic to see me, or at least happy just a little bit, but he was outraged. He'd given me a similar look many times, but only this severe when he knew I was leaving him behind for something.

"Adam…" I whispered, my voice quickly failing me. Before I could stop him, he had turned and was running away from me. I called after him again, but I heard our bedroom door slam shut any way. just as I was about to run after him, I was reminded of that powerful need for the bathroom so badly that I felt I would explode. Grabbing my jeans, I quickly waddled to the nearest door.

It was nearly ten minutes until I could go up to Adam. After leaving the bathroom, everybody seemed to be up and around the house and I didn't feel right being seen by any of them without speaking to Adam first. I had to wait for the stairway to be clear and everyone's back turned before I quickly ran up to the room.

Once I was inside, I couldn't help stopping to take in the sight, letting it fill my heart to the point of bursting. I'd missed the sight of Adam asleep, that relaxed and almost childish expression as he breathed deeply. I walked forward, sitting in the chair that seemed to always be ready for the task of being pulled up at our bedside. I stayed like that for a while, but sleep overcame me as well. It was a light sleep, without dreams or much rest, so at the first sign of Adam stirring, I was awake. It was a few minutes before he opened his eyes and recognized me.

"Good morning," I said quietly, feeling terribly sadness as the memory of his anger returned to his face.

"I thought…I was hoping it was just a dream," he said quietly, never taking his eyes off me.

"Adam—"

"Chuck, why did you leave me?" I saw tears well up in his eyes and I supposed that my actions might have caused more damage that good. Perhaps if I had stayed dead, he would have eventually healed and moved on.

"I couldn't just sit here and let you die," I explained, seeing how that just caused him to feel guilty. "You would do the same in my place and you know it."

Adam sat up angrily as if making to storm out, but he merely swung his legs over the edge and buried his face in his palms.

"What happened to you?" he asked quietly.

"I've been dead," I told him, watching the way he looked up at me fearfully. "My life for yours, that was the only way to save you."

"Then how are you back?" he demanded, becoming slightly worried. "I mean, for all I know, you could be a wraith, a shapeshifter, or some other kind of monster!"

"But you know I'm not," I said. He looked up at me with discomfort—he's always hated me being able to read his mind without real telepathy. "Adam, the point is…I'm here now. No magic, no more destinies or stupid prophecies for me to protect—I'm all yours."

"You know it's not that simple," he said tiredly, folding his arms. "You've been gone for sixth months. Things have changed. I've got a responsibility now. You know, Becky's had her kids? Just last night."

"Really?" I said, leaning back. I couldn't explain the strange feeling in my heart, knowing that there were two children in the world who shared a part of my essence. "What are they like?"

"Boy and a girl," Adam said with a faint smile. "Christopher and Faith. She's got your eyes."

"They sound wonderful," I said, trying to keep my voice steady. "How's Becky? Everything alright?"

"I wouldn't know," he said, frowning. "I haven't seen her since last night, just before…you."

I looked down, feeling a pain in my heart as I remembered how angry he had been at first. I doubted I would ever understand exactly how his mind works, but I couldn't expect him to fully get me either. But god, I wanted to understand- especially if it meant being near him.

"So…do you forgive me?" I asked hopefully. There was no need to point out that we were pretty much even, considering all I'd been through to get back to him.

"Forgive you for what?" he scoffed, smiling earnestly for the first time. "You and I both know there's no staying mad at you. You're just…undeniable. But you must promise me one thing."

"You know I'd promise you anything," I said quickly, a blush rising up my neck as I remembered the last time he'd made me promise him anything.

"You say you're all human now?" he said, placing both his hands on mine. "No more powers, no more duties? Then promise me that you'll be all mine. No more running off to save the world without me. No more secrets, no lies. Starting now, we begin paradise."

"That sounds wonderful," I sighed, unable to stop the smile that spread across my face. "I promise."

Adam instantly reached up and grasped my face, pulling me into one of those kisses that could stop time itself. This was definitely the Adam I'd been missing, taking control as easily as breathing. I of course offered no objection as he pulled me onto the bed and covered my body with his. We had all the time in the world to make up for the past six months. This should be interesting…

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_AN: This is not the end, but I think it also sort of is. This in the penultimate chapter (second to last), so I am thinking I will finish it off with an epilogue. What has been left unsolved that you will forever question if I don't answer it next chapter? What else would you like to see? Tell me what you want: I loved this story and it **must** go out with a bang! =) I will try to update soon. Reviews are love!_


	50. Chapter 50 & Epilogue

_AN: I feel the need to thank all of my muses and helpers on this chapter first, because there were quite a few of them. First off, as always, I thank Padawan-BubbyKenobi for reviewing, along with_ _Marsali4. I also thank FallenAngel10086 for favoriting/alerting this fic, and I'll explain why you are super important at the end when I let everyone have a go at my lame excuses to taking so long to update. _

_I also must thank my boyfriend for his moral support and for the half sentence he wrote in my slashy scene (we've seen how I fail at those!). Thanks also to Devin for his edit help and Laura for not killing me, as well as finding _one _edit first. We all know how proud that made you, sister. _

_Lastly, I dedicate it to Jessica, because she is amazing and managed to read it, say "wow," and _not _tease me. _

_After two months, here we go with the last chapter/epilogue!_

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**Adam**

It felt strange that my mind chose this moment to have an epiphany that I had probably always known intuitively anyways: Chuck would always be my weakness. This awkward, dorky, half-crazy at times man would always completely own me. I would never, ever be able to deny him anything; I'd probably always _known, _but in this insane moment I felt it in every molecule of my being. And as I dragged him onto the bed with me, straddling him as we kissed almost frantically and entirely lustily, I knew that I really didn't mind being owned when it felt this good.

So good, but it was backed by an ache that seemed to come from my very soul. I clutched him as close to me as I could as I tried to erase the pain of existing without him. It was working, too, on a level I didn't even completely understand. It was like my soul could feel the proximity of his soul, and each second that we remained blissfully connected healed me even more. The thought of being separated, of lacking this connection, was unimaginable—like a nightmare, a figment of an extremely frightened imagination. Nothing was real but this.

Even on a purely (though not so _pure…) _physical level, this still felt damn good. Well, eons past good and more in the realm of mind-blowingly brilliant. Our tongues swirled around each other, his taste alone nearly driving me mad. I wanted to go farther—oh God how I wanted it—but it had been _so long _and my mind had completely forgotten at this point that _more _pleasure even existed. How could it when the only thing in the world was his mouth on mine?

I remembered very quickly, however, when I felt his hardness digging almost painfully into my thigh. I reached between us and grasped it, making him gasp even though the contact was only through jeans. I hurriedly set about fixing that, fumbling with the button and zipper before I tugged his pants down, pulling his boxers down along with them. He moaned as I took hold of his swollen cock, precome smearing on the tip. He began to tug at my jeans and I hissed—the sound swallowed in our increasingly messy and passionate kiss—as I felt the cold air reach my hardened member. I bit down on his lip as his hand closed over it, desire building in me until I threatened to explode. "Fuck," I moaned, "it has been _way _too long." Chuck moaned his agreement of this sentiment as I kissed him again, tasting every inch of his mouth before pulling away once again. I grinned at the sight of his lust darkened eyes, leading down to kiss him briefly once more. Then, before he could fully comprehend the shift, I lowered myself down and took his cock into my mouth.

Of two things I was at once certain: one, that my imagination was _amazingly _accurate, and all of my wet dreams in the last six months had been pretty damn realistic. Second, that imagination was overrated and reality was _so much better. _He gasped in shock and released his hold on my cock, but was quick to thread his hands in my hair. He moaned once again, the sound loud in the surrounding quiet of the house, and I idly wondered somewhere in the back of my mind if the rest of the house knew that he was here. If not, I wondered just what they were thinking right now….? But in the end my _activities _were too distracting, and I wanted to focus my full attention on my lover anyways.

His hands clenched in my hair and followed my head's path as it bobbed up and down, my mouth almost letting him slide fully out before dipping back down. I took him in until it scraped the very back of my throat before pulling away to run my tongue over the head, the salty precome leaving a tangy taste on my tongue. He arched up as I sucked hard on the tip and, when I could tell he was close to coming, I pulled away. He let out a disappointed whimper, too far gone to voice his disapproval articulately. My heart swelled with a strange mix of love, pride, and mischief because I knew that _I _had made him feel this way, that _only _I would ever make him feel this good. I kissed him, conveying the love I felt for him in much more fun ways than words, before breaking it off. "I want you to come with me inside you," I explained, and this time he moaned in anticipation.

I kissed at his neck, his skin salty from sweat, and bit down. He moaned as I licked over the mark and I grinned. I bit and kissed my way down his neck and chest before pulling back once more. "Now?" He nodded, eyes still closed, his head tilted back. I stuck three of my fingers in my mouth, sucking on them before pushing one inside his tight entrance. He groaned as I pushed slowly in and out, waiting for the muscles to relax a bit before I pushed in a second finger, a third… He was squirming restlessly under me and whimpered when I pulled my fingers out. Quick to please I positioned myself and slipped inside of him, the tight heat driving me insane.

I tried to go slow at first, but I lost all semblance of control when he gasped "harder" and tried to drag me closer, his nails digging into my sides. I kissed him roughly as I pounded into him, hot tight pleasure/pain driving us closer and closer to the edge. Crying out he came first, tightening around my cock. That last jolt of pleasure sent me over the edge as well and I came, biting into his shoulder as my world exploded.

When my mind regained a fuzzy form of thought and my muscles stopped quivering I shifted off of him. I lay on my side next to him, my arms wrapped around him as I kissed him deeply again. There was nothing in my world but him next to me, his naked body pressed against mine, our lazy kisses writing the history of our universe. We lay there together, happy and reveling in the complete feeling that came from being together, for ages. Still, eventually, and far too soon, my wits returned.

In a rush the rest of reality returned to my mind. More than one life-changing event had taken place yesterday; though the babies being born and Chuck coming back seemed like they belonged in two separate lifetimes, they actually had happened within the space of an hour or so. "You have to meet them!"

"Who?" he asked with a cute little confused look on his face. God, how I'd missed him…

I sat up and dragged him with me, stumbling into a pair of jeans. "The twins! Chris- I haven't even held him yet- and Faith- I named her!" I could feel myself buzzing with excitement; it was like a super sugar high.

As I dragged him through the hall I glanced into the nursery of sorts (leftover from the era of baby Sam and Dean), but as I had expected the twins weren't in there. We were halfway down the stairs when I realized something. "They don't know you're back yet, do they?"

Chuck shook his head. "No. I wanted to talk to you first…"

I could see that he was worried to face their reactions- especially now that he had seen mine- so I took his hand and smiled. "They'll be glad you're back." I wasn't entirely sure that was true, but it appeared to at least make him feel better.

Everyone was, as always, in the kitchen; maybe because it was our seemingly official unofficial cultural center or possibly just because it was tummy tribute time. I wasn't sure what to do: linger in the doorway until jaws started dropping or pretend everything was normal? I chose the latter (mainly because I was hungry and the pancakes Mary was cooking this morning smelled mouth-wateringly delicious) and took my place at the table. Chuck sat down quietly next to me. He looked almost as nervous as he had the first time we'd met- and it was just as adorable now as it had been then. My stomach erupted in fluttery butterflies and I wanted to hug him close, but I resisted the urge because as of yet no one had noticed him. By the time I'd piled our plates with as many pancakes as I thought we could stomach without puking (and then some, because if eating all these pancakes killed me I would die a happy man) everything had fallen silent. I took advantage of the shock to study everyone _before _all hell broke loose.

Crowley was missing; no doubt he was bored with all the happy baby warm and fuzzy feelings and disgusted by the fact that one-sixth of their essence was his. Becky, was missing as well, hopefully resting in bed as I had made sure to order her to yesterday despite—or maybe thanks to—my autopilot state of mind. Dean was holding a sleeping Faith, Sam holding Christopher, and Bobby, John, Mary, and Cas were crowded around them as closely as was possible. The silence ended when Chris started to cry. Before anyone could get jolted too quickly out of shock I took him from Sam, rocking him gently. "Shh, it's okay," I cooed. I'd almost be embarrassed if I hadn't seen the way John and Bobby had cooed over my _baby _brothers; children reduced all men to this eventually. "It's okay, baby. Did all that quiet scare you? I guess it would, considering this house probably hasn't been that scarily quiet yet in your lifetime, huh? You're barely a day old and you're already used to craziness! What a little survivor you are!" He seemed to calm down with my words, his sniffles eventually subsiding into a simple yawn. I glanced up to see everyone watching me with expressions ranging from incredulity (my brothers) to amusement (John and Cas) to pride (Mary and Bobby). I held the baby that was somehow amazingly my _son _out so that Chuck could see him. "Chuck, meet Christopher. He's yours too," I commented unnecessarily. "Right buddy?" I asked the baby, knowing he couldn't answer.

I heard a laugh and looked up to see Dean shaking his head at me. "What?" I asked defensively, instinctively holding the baby closer.

"Nothing," Dean defended, holding his hands up. "I just thought maybe one of my little brothers wasn't a total dork, but of course I was wrong."

I rolled my eyes. "Say that when you have a kid someday. Well, then again, this one does belong partially to your boyfriend, so he's sort of yours too."

Dean rolled his eyes. "They do not need another parent; they're gonna be fucked up enough just being raised by this family."

"Language!" Mary admonished, at which Dean rolled his eyes like a petulant teenager. "Around the babies," she amended.

"Yes Mom," Dean agreed monotonously, retaliating as Sam wacked him upside the head. A scuffle broke out between the two "adults" and the atmosphere around the table relaxed back to (almost) normal once more. The conversation went back to our usual banter as everyone avoided the subject of Chuck's unexpected return. No one seemed to want to be the first to bring it up, and he was even quieter than usual, but as time passed it became more and more clear which side each person was on.

My brothers, protective as always, would barely glance in his direction. Mary looked worried, but after seeing me smile she decided that at present it was better to take middle ground and not pick a side. John, like me, seemed to be evaluating the reactions of his family and eventually seemed to decide to hold a wary middle ground with Mary- always the puppy trailing meekly after his wife, and once again I was thankful for it. Bobby was entirely on my side: Chuck was back, we were happy. Every person that was kept safe within our borders was a cause of celebration for him. Cas, always Dean's better half, seemed to feel the same as Bobby; thankful for another person saved, no matter who it was. I did notice him casting curious glances at Chuck, though, as he'd obviously picked up on the lack of godly energy. I smiled and shifted closer to him, just thankful that my boyfriend was all mine now, forever.

Halfway through breakfast Becky appeared in the doorway holding a little pink burrito that I assumed was Faith.

"Becks, what are you doing up?" I accused, my eyes narrowing. "You just had twins, you should be in bed! You need to rest!"

She rolled her eyes. "I got hungry." She looked exhausted and happily dropped into Mary's seat as soon as she jumped up to make more pancakes. "Why's everyone so quiet?" she demanded after a moment, and I realized that besides the sounds of Mary working in the kitchen behind us there was no other noise. Everyone was watching Becky for her reaction to Chuck, but so far she was as oblivious as always- twice as much, maybe, because she was tired. Chris was squirming again, uncomfortable in the silence, and I gently began to rock him back and forth.

"Um, hi Becks," Chuck finally said quietly from next to me, and she glanced over.

"Oh, Chucky!" she exclaimed happily. "Good to see you." She held out the baby to him and, looking confused, Chuck took her. "When'd you get back?"

Everyone was staring at Becky as if she had grown two heads (myself included) as she began to chat with Chuck as if his sudden appearance was the most natural thing in the world. I gave her an appreciative smile that she might have entirely missed, but then again, maybe she hadn't—with Becky I could never be sure.

"Oh, um, last night," he said carefully.

"Great!" She laughed. "You lucky person, you missed all the screaming and gore it took to produce those little monsters." She punctuated her words with an adoring smile at the babies that Chuck and I now held. "So, what do you think of them?"

"They're perfect," he told her. I wondered if he truly thought that or if he was just grateful that Becky was treating him the same as always. Hers was the first amiable greeting he'd gotten, after all, sans the babies. They had no clue what was going on, poor darlings.

She grinned. "I know." She took Chris back from me and smiled down at him, dropping conversation for the moment. Everyone else followed suit, dropping into their own silences.

After a while I couldn't take it anymore. "So…" I carefully broke into everyone's thoughtfulness. Contrary to what I'd felt before, I didn't need to know any details about Chuck's last six months. He loved me and he was here; that was all that I needed to be happy. Well, that and… "Everybody's cool now then?"

This was met with the same varying and undecided expressions as before. Only Dean made some effort to outright answer my question; he glared prissily at me for a while. My best guess was that he was _not _pleased with me for forcing him to make an important decision on a semi-empty stomach. Because with Dean it always really came down to his car or his stomach, and his car didn't really apply here. (Well, or sex, but he had his angel for that, and I really, _really _didn't want to think about it—that only led to memories of his revenge for when I had "interrupted"…)

When he was done glaring at me he shifted his gaze to Chuck. I realized that we really _were _totally a family of queens, 'cause everyone was waiting dramatically with bated breath for what Dean would say. He, of course, followed the badass standard and ignored us entirely. "If I told you to get the hell outta here and never come back, would you?"

Chuck swallowed compulsively and glanced at me. "No," he said quietly.

Dean shrugged. "Well, then, not much I can do about it." He turned back to his pancakes and everyone around the table collectively relaxed a bit. "Well," Mary declared brightly, standing up. "Who wants pie?" And with that, the world fell back into its proper place. Just like in all those chick flicks my brother hated, our family was together, and everything was—for once—happy.

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**Epilogue**

_***Sixteen Years Later***_

I sat on the porch watching as a group of the hunter children played football in the front yard. Well, the hunter version of football, which involved few rules and more injuries, but a variation of the game all the same.

The ball soared through the air towards one player near the goal line, but Faith leapt (far too high for a normal person to jump) and caught it, landing gracefully on her feet and darting past the boys before they had realized what had happened. Defenders farther down the line were quicker, though, and they moved to block her. Faith tossed the ball at Chris, a perfect pass… if only he'd been paying attention. He was staring off at something else in the distance, though, and the ball smacked right into his head. He went down like a ton of bricks but was on his feet again a few minutes later; he had hit his head far too many times for a simple football to keep him down.

Chris seemed to have gotten all the genes from me and Chuck; he was tall and lanky, all elbows and knees as he hadn't quite filled out yet (and I wasn't exactly sure that he was ever _going _to, either). No matter how much he ate—and Christopher _did _eat like a teenage boy, for sure—he never put on any weight, and each of his bones was easily felt when anyone hugged him. His hair was brown and always messy, matted easily by the wind or his many falls. Most of all, Chris was a clumsy little klutz; he could trip over his own feet while walking on a flat surface, something I'd had problems with as a child and Chuck most definitely could still relate to (though he tried to deny it). Chris was like Sam: he preferred books over hunting and would spend hours hiding away in corners as he read his way through Bobby's vast—and ever-growing—library. In all honesty, he probably couldn't have been less threatening if he tried.

In complete contrast, Faith seemed to have received all of the supernatural and powerful genes. She was as tall as her brother, but she had a more willowy figure. Her bones didn't stick out, but she was slim; she had a graceful figure. She was equally as graceful on her feet; I couldn't remember her ever tripping once, not even as a toddler. Her eyes were Chuck's, but her hair was long and a shiny white-blond. Her skin, a never-tanning pale color, seemed to endlessly shine in light or darkness alike. While angelically featured, she seemed to have some of Crowley in her personality, as she was always getting herself into trouble and experimenting with powers far, far beyond her capabilities. Cas and Crowley both took a shine to teaching her and hated each other twice as much for it; they endlessly competed for her undivided attentions and tried to win her over to _their _side of the light/dark spectrum. The rest of us had long learned to stay out of it and just let Faith decide; she danced back and forth between them, never staying in one place for long, driving them both sufficiently insane. I _adored _her.

As the game resumed I took the time to look and see what had stolen Chris' attention before. My jaw dropped and I stood slowly, trying to decide whether to feel panicked, angry, or hopeful. I decided to wait and see what he had to say first. "Hello, Adam," he greeted as he reached me.

"Bob," I acknowledged. "Or do you prefer God now? I'm never sure." Okay, so maybe I was a _bit _angrier than I should have been. So sue me.

He only chuckled at me, though. "Bob will be fine."

"So why are you here?" I asked, glancing over at the children. The boys—Christopher included this time—were all immersed in their game, but Faith had divided half of her attention to keep an eye on me. I could feel her indecision as she tried to decide whether or not to come to my aid, so I gave her a smile and she responded with a shrug before turning back to her game and promptly crushing the competition under her little pinky toe. _That's my girl. _

"I am merely stopping by to tell you that my work here is done," Bob said, pulling my attention back to our conversation.

I analyzed that statement for a moment, letting it sink in. "Your work _here?" _

"Here on Earth," he clarified. "My new army of angels is established and the Earth has been purged of Croatoan and the demons that were spreading it. All of the uneasy souls—those you call _ghosts—_are at rest and, for a time, the Earth shall be as it was meant to be when I first created it."

My mind reeled. "So… it's safe out there?"

He nodded. "Your planet is yours once more, Adam Winchester. Your people are free to safely re-establish their settlements across the globe."

My mind was in shock. I mean, we had amassed a _lot _of people here, especially as children were continuously born over the years, but even we would have issues settling a fifth of the country, much less the _world? _And it was empty, safe, free, _waiting _for us…

I realized Bob was speaking and once again trained my attention on him. "This is the last you will see of me for some time, Adam. Do not forget that the twins still have a larger destiny at hand. Your generation is ending, Adam, but theirs has only just begun. Watch over them and guide them wisely."

Then he was gone, and I sunk down on the steps, my mind in shock. A few seconds, minutes, or hours later Chris knelt down in front of me, a bit of worry in his eyes. "You okay? Faith told me to come check on you, 'cause you've been staring into space for a while now…"

I nodded. "I'm fine," I told him. It must not have come off as reassuring as it was meant to, though, because a crease appeared between his eyebrows. He got up and walked into the house without another word, but my brain was still comprehending.

Chris and Faith still had a destiny to fulfill. It was common logic, really, and I supposed I had always known this on some level; we had trained them all of their lives, playing on their natural talents to prepare them for the world we were used to. But now the thought of sending them out into it, prepared as they were, terrified me. I wasn't quite sure why; after all, they were only three years younger than I had been the first time I had died.

"What's up?" I glanced over to see Chuck sit down next to me. "Chris said you were acting strange."

I grinned. "Didn't mean to scare him." After a silent moment I shrugged. "Bob showed up."

Chuck was instantly defensive. "What did he want?"

"To tell me that the world is safe once more, and we can go and resettle it now. He's gone back to heaven with his angels."

Chuck tilted his head. "So, that's a good thing, right?"

I smiled and leaned forward to kiss him. When I pulled back I realized that the sun was setting in the distance, the horizon stained pink and purple and orange. I realized, with a jolt, that we could go out and _chase _that horizon again. We could follow it forever, traveling endlessly, and for part of that time we didn't even have to be afraid.

"It's a very, very good thing," I agreed. My generation, after all, hadn't been so great, so maybe it was fair that we had to pass on the torch now. I was almost eager, albeit afraid, to see what the crazy new teenagers would come up with. It couldn't possibly be worse than my brothers and the Apocalypse, could it?

I glanced over in time to see Faith take down a boy three times her size with a simple with a kick to the back of his knees, never slowing down or losing her footing in the slightest. His heavy weight took out another boy across from her. As she leapt, twirled, and maimed her way through the masses I realized that it most definitely could be worse, and I wondered if maybe our story had been just the prologue, and this was where the real story would begin. On that ominous thought I gave up thinking altogether and settled into the arms of the only person I had ever truly loved and watched the sunset, _my _world at peace—just as it had been for sixteen years, and just as it would be forevermore.

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_Final AN: My main problem was that I just couldn't__ picture how this fic should end. I was trying to find an end like Laura's ending on Chapter 49, because that was poetic and perfectly beautiful. But one day it came to me—this fic started with cliffies, it lived on cliffies, so why should it end with a simple ending? No, it needed to end with a cliffie. ^.^ And, viola. _

_The other reason it took two months was that I _do not _write lemons. Period. They just don't happen for me. So I sat there staring at it in my free time going "oh, this is never gonna happen…" I thought of skipping it in my usual fashion, but this was the _last _chapter, and I felt like I'd be betraying my fic and my fans if I didn't write it. I hope it was worth it! I finally got myself to write it Thursday night when, thanks to __FallenAngel10086 I realized people are actually still reading this. I felt bad, and this was finished!_

_Lastly, school is crazy this year. One week feels like two, maybe three days; one month feels like a week and a half, so to me two months has been a blur. A crazy, psycho, busy, never-ending blur of work and friends and new classes and new buddies and crazy people… ^.^ _

_My only PS: Laura and I are thinking of starting a sequel, but her comp is bust now and my life is still busy, so we'll see when that gets there. If anyone wants, I'll keep you posted. =)_

_So, for the last time, Reviews Are Love! ~Lynx _


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